It could have been his nerves, but when Thomas pulled the bottle from his lips, his stomach twisted. Maybe he’d throw up.
It might have also been that he’d already drank the entire first bottle and most of the second on the way over.
Part of him knew he needed to leave. He couldn’t go to Artemis’—she was so calm and good, and he was a drunk, bloodthirsty monster. He should have headed back to his apartment or maybe to Sean’s. Hell, he could have gone to Gary’s place, to ensure that Dr. West hadn’t called the police after their scuffle in the hospital.
But he wasn’t at any of those places.
He was at Artemis’ apartment, staring down the staircase that led to her front door. She was the one person he’d learned to count on when life got tough. She made the world soft.
He’d been relying on Artemis for years. It’d been Artemis who had given him the encouragement he needed to pursue a career in the medical profession. Artemis who had kept him sane when the pressure of medical school had nearly driven him to the brink. Artemis who Thomas had gone to when he’d lost his first patient in the emergency room.
It had been Artemis he turned to when he first became a vampire.
It had always been Artemis who Thomas went to for help, and that was why he wasn’t the least bit surprised he was now standing on her stairs, his drunk footsteps following a path he knew well.
Equally unsurprising was how disgusted he was with himself for being here now.
Raising one hand, he jumped down the staircase in a single leap and splashed into the growing puddle before her doorstep. Muddy water flung out, coating the wall with dark speckles. He reached for her door. The wood was cold and damp under his palm, and he gave it a shove. The door didn’t budge.
Not an inch.
He twisted the cold, wet doorknob. It slid beneath his fingers, but the door wouldn’t move.
It was as far as he could go.
The threshold was keeping him out. It was keeping Artemis safe from the monster he’d become.
His face twisted in rage as he shoved harder, remembering the raw strength he’d felt in the forest. How easy it’d been to rip that enormous stone from the earth and hoist it overhead. He could have thrown it like a cannonball.
But the door wouldn’t budge.
Losing his temper for the second time in two days—or the second time in years—Thomas snarled. He drew back his fist and hurled it forward.
His knuckles contacted the door, but the wood didn’t rattle. It didn’t buckle. Whatever mythical force that kept him at bay protected the door as well.
After several more furious punches, all Thomas had accomplished was giving himself bloody knuckles and a throbbing hand.
Raw and thunderous, an inhuman cry ripped from Thomas’ throat as he hurled his bottle at the door, where it slammed into the wood and shattered. The last drops of the bloody cocktail dripped down the wood and joined the muddy puddle. Burying his face in his hands, he fell to his knees and began to sob.
His breath caught in his chest as he heard hinges groan and saw light flood over him.
“Thomas?”
Wiping tears from his eyes with a bloodied hand, Thomas pounded the ground. Cement cracked under his fist.
“Please,” he croaked, shoulders shaking. “Let me in.”
◆◆◆
Thomas sat on the floor with his back against Artemis’ bed, resting his head back against the mattress and the borrowed towel around his neck. Artemis lay on her side, her head resting against her arm.
Her face was so close to him her breath tickled his ear. It was warm, filled with oregano and olive oil. A hint of garlic burned his nose and helped him keep himself under control.
Thomas struggled to find the right words.
“How can I do this?” He asked. “How can I pretend that everything’s normal? Lawrence told me I’d be able to go back to my normal life once I got myself under control, but how can I do that?”
“Let the past be the past, Tom,” Artemis said. A chill ran down Thomas’ back as she ran her fingers through his damp hair. “You can’t go back. You can only go forward.”
“Go forward? To what, Artemis? I’m part of a gang. A gang! A gang that allows innocent people to get eaten and are constantly drunk,” Thomas said with a caustic chuckle. “My life is in shambles.”
“Your life’s not in shambles, Thomas. There have been impossible, unforeseeable changes in your life and a wild amount of stress, but that doesn’t mean everything about your old life is gone. You’re still you, Tom.” She paused. “You’re still that dorky, clumsy, charming kid from high school, always a perfect gentleman.”
Thomas laughed again, lighter and purer this time. There were a lot of things he may have been, but he never thought of himself as a gentleman, not even back before he’d been changed into something that feasted off the blood of others.
“Thanks, Artemis, for everything. For always being there for me. You mean everything to me. You and Sean are like family. I don’t think I would’ve gotten this far without you two.”
For several seconds, there was silence. Artemis paused, her fingers frozen in his hair. Had she fallen asleep? No, she took a deep breath and exhaled—Thomas almost choked on the garlic scent. That wasn’t like her. He was about to turn his head to look up at her, but she stopped him by patting his head.
“You’re welcome, Thomas,” she said after a moment. “You’re like family to us, too. You know that.”
Thomas sighed and closed his eyes, his frustration and uncertainty washing over him again.
“I don’t know what to do. I mean, you should have heard them. They were talking about people getting murdered and abused—and it didn’t faze them. I can’t believe I’ll end up like that. I just can’t.”
“You thinking that way is proof that you won’t,” Artemis reassured him, her fingers resuming their slow circles in his hair. “You’re still you, Tom. Don’t think for a second that you’re not.”
“But I’m not me.” His voice cracked. “I’m a vampire, and just because I feel this way now doesn’t mean I will a few decades down the road. Hell, Vivian is over two hundred years old. Two hundred. Can I honestly say that I won’t change how I think in two hundred years? I have centuries ahead of me, Art, and it’s terrifying.”
“Wait, what do you mean?” Her heart rate increased, pounding heavy thuds in her chest. The blood flowing through the veins in her wrist quivered against Thomas’ head.
“I’m stuck like this forever,” Thomas said miserably, trying to ignore how much he wanted her blood. “I’m not gonna age.”
Another long pause followed Thomas’ statement.
“I hadn’t thought of that,” Artemis said quietly.
The sadness in her voice was heartbreaking. A lump grew in Thomas’ throat again, threatening to overwhelm him and cause him to start crying again. He clenched his fists, willing himself to calm down.
“Yeah,” he said gruffly. “I hadn’t thought of that either. It took hearing how old the other vampires are for it to hit home.”
“Physically, I’ll be the same age as you in a year.” Artemis’ voice was barely a whisper. “And then . . .”
Thomas couldn’t bring himself to answer. He hadn’t thought about the functional aspects of his curse until now. But since he’d talked to Vivian and Charles, he couldn’t avoid it.
He wasn’t going to age.
It would only take a few years for his friends to look older than him, only a few years more before he was completely out of place. They would go on with their lives, pursue real careers, get married, have children. And what about him? Could he have kids? A family?
Tears pricked at his eyes. In a matter of decades, his friends would die, and he would be left alone.
Artemis jolted forward, Thomas yelping in surprise. Animalistic strength rushed through his body and his senses heightened.
“But maybe it doesn’t have to be forever.”
“Um, yes
it does. That’s how it works.” He breathed deeply, willing himself to relax. It was difficult, the red lightning heightening his reactions and emotions.
“But it’s just a curse isn’t it? Curses can be broken,” Artemis said earnestly.
A small spark of hope ruined his attempt to calm down. A brief surge of excitement coursed through him, increasing his strength. His hope died as his heart rate settled.
“I don’t know. I think if there was a way to break the curse someone would’ve done it by now.”
“Please, Thomas. We can’t just give up,” Artemis said, her blue eyes burrowing into Thomas’. “Promise me you’ll ask. Talk to Lawrence or that Vivian woman.”
Thomas sighed, feeling a little overwhelmed by Artemis’ intensity. Her excitement increased both the pitch of her voice and the volume. It made calming down more difficult. Artemis, the perpetual bringer of hope, was again working on fixing the world, and his whole body was focusing on her and her fast-beating heart.
“I, I definitely can ask—”
“And I can talk to the Wiccan community.” She clapped her hands, the sound ringing in Thomas’ ears. He winced, and she continued. “There must be someone who knows something about the witch who cast the spell.”
Thomas almost laughed at how manic Artemis looked with her curly mess of hair and obsessed expression. Her heart kept pumping hard, and her cheeks were redder from the increased blood flow. She was smiling, eyes twinkling and eager. Thomas wanted to reach out, to touch her face, to grab the wrist that was so close to him, to bring it to his fangs. He made himself focus on something else. Anything else. The metal clanging from muffled footsteps outside. Thomas froze.
“Hey, Art, are you expecting someone?” he asked, frowning. The strength within him tightened his muscles in preparation for whatever was coming down the stairs.
“Oh, yeah,” Artemis said. Her eyes dimmed and her heart rate slowed as her attention was redirected. She seemed oblivious to his struggle to keep from hurting her. “The guys are on their way over. I texted them when you got here.”
Thomas glared, feeling a little betrayed.
“You called them? Are you serious?” She’d alerted them again. He’d come to visit her. Alone. Not them. Heat rose in his face and he fought a burst of anger that frightened a part of him.
Artemis sat up, looking stubborn.
“You need a break, Tom,” she said sternly. “You—”
Thomas didn’t wait to hear what she was saying. He stood hastily, but it was too late.
The door to Artemis’ apartment was thrown open and Sean stepped in, looking confused.
“Hey, sis, did you know someone broke a bottle—” He stopped when he saw that Thomas was already on his feet. “Dude, where are you going?”
“He isn’t going anywhere,” Artemis said, speaking over Thomas’ indignant spluttering and tugging on his arm. “Come on in.”
Frowning, Sean scrutinized Thomas’ disheveled clothes. “Damn. What happened to you?”
Thomas rubbed the back of his neck and muttered, “Um, yeah, it’s kind of a long story.”
Sean jerked a thumb over his shoulder.
“You’re the one who broke the wine bottle? Since when do you drink straight out of the bottle?” Sean asked. He groaned as he put two and two together. “Oh hell, it’s not wine.”
“Sean,” Artemis said in a placating voice. “Thomas has had a rough night. Leave him alone.”
“But—” Sean started.
“Anyway, you got here pretty fast,” his sister said. “I didn’t expect you for a few more minutes.”
“I was already on the road. I was on my way to Penny’s to get my nice jacket from her car but asked her to meet me here instead after you texted.” Sean glared at Thomas. “That’s all.”
Thomas and Artemis shared a look. Sean was hiding something from them.
“Your nice jacket?” Thomas asked, scratching his chin.
Artemis released Thomas’ arm and relaxed on her bed, a sly smile on her lips. “The one that he wore when Penny invited us to that fancy black tie dinner. He only wears it on special occasions.”
Sean folded his arms and huffed, although Thomas could tell he was trying not to smile.
“I do not,” he said. “I thought it would, um, look good. And with the last cold front . . .”
There was a single knock on the door before it swung open. Penny walked in, a jacket over her arm.
“Hey, guys, did you know there’s a broken bottle—” she began.
“Yes, we know,” Artemis said, beckoning Penny inside.
Penny stopped in her tracks, getting an eyeful of Thomas’ rumpled state.
“Um, here’s your jacket, Sean. Thomas, if you wanted me to bring you some clothes I could have.”
Thomas glared at the wall, his face hot from embarrassment and a hint of anger. Artemis immediately changed the subject.
“That’s not important,” she declared, pointing an accusing finger at her brother. “What is important is that Sean’s met a girl.”
Thomas’ attire was immediately forgotten as Penny glared at Sean.
“What?” Penny’s sly smile matched Artemis’.
Sean took his jacket and tried to give his sister a glower but couldn’t quite keep the smile from his face.
“The only time he ever gives his wardrobe a second thought is when a lady is involved. And now he wants his nice jacket?” Thomas felt a grin spread over his face, absorbing the comfort and ease from his best friends to help himself relax. “You did meet a girl.”
Sean sputtered, “And what if I did?”
Penny pounced on that, always the one who loved a little playful gossip.
“Spill it,” she said, taking a seat at Artemis’ small kitchen table.
Sean did his best to sound casual. “It’s just a girl who comes into the bookstore a lot. I’ve checked her out a few times.”
“Oh, I am sure you did,” Penny said, snickering.
Artemis giggled from the bed, and Sean flushed.
“I mean I checked her books out for her. I didn’t really talk with her,” Sean said as he sauntered to the couch. “It’s hard to talk to her, okay? She’s gorgeous.”
He placed a hand over his heart and fell melodramatically onto the couch, eliciting a laugh from everyone in the room.
Penny’s phone dinged, and she pulled it out, squinting at the screen and sighing.
“Ugh, I better get going,” Penny said. “We got a big translation project yesterday, and we’re a little pressed for time. I told my boss I’d work on it at home. She’s just sent it through. I’m really only here to drop off the jacket.”
“Oh, well, good luck,” Artemis said, jumping off of the bed to walk Penny to the door.
They stood together for a few moments outside the apartment, talking in hushed voices. Thomas saw them glancing at him. He felt hot again, his eyes narrowing in suspicion. He forced himself to turn to Sean to take his mind off of what they were saying about him.
“Tell me more about this girl,” he said with false joviality. “If you’re to be believed, she is the vision of perfection and in possession of a keen mind. You gonna ask her out?”
Sean laughed. “Yeah, man. I think I will. I mean, I’ll have to work up to it. You know, maybe have an actual conversation.”
Thomas sank onto the couch next to Sean. “If Nelson is to be believed, conversation is overrated anyway.”
“You’d better hope so,” Sean said, jabbing Thomas’ side. “You aren’t good at talking.”
“Shut up, man,” Thomas forced a laugh.
As the laughter died on his lips, Penny disappeared up the stairs. Artemis looked grim as she returned and closed the door. His suspicions heightened. Artemis had probably already told Sean that Thomas was feeling down. She wanted her brother to cheer him up. That’s always how it worked. Artemis listened; Sean made life fun.
Thomas wasn’t in the mood.
Before any of them could
speak, the door opened again, revealing Nelson.
“Did you guys know that there’s a broken—”
“Yes,” Artemis and Sean cried together.
“Wow, okay, touchy subject,” Nelson said, raising his arms in self-defense. He turned to Sean and Thomas on the couch and jerked his thumb over his shoulder. “Sorry it took me so long to get here. Are we doing this?”
Thomas looked between Nelson, Sean, and Artemis in confusion.
“Doing what?”
“No time for questions,” Sean said, pulling Thomas to his feet and pushing him toward the door. “We gotta go. See you, sis.”
“Wait, Sean? Artemis?” Thomas sputtered. He flexed his arms, about to shrug Sean away, but stopped when he remembered that his strength could send them through the walls.
“See you later, guys. And at least try to have fun, Tom.”
Artemis waved as she closed the door after them.
◆◆◆
“Ok, I think this is as close as we’ll get. We’ll have to walk from here,” Nelson said from behind the wheel of his car.
“It’s okay. Thomas has super strength. He can carry us if we get tired,” Sean said from the passenger seat.
Thomas didn’t reply, watching Nelson’s window slide down into the door. The car filled with the heavy odors of exhaust, gasoline, and oil as Nelson grabbed a small ticket from the garage’s automatic dispenser. Sean was only trying to get a laugh, trying to turn this situation into a joke, but Thomas’ emotions were still running too wild for humor.
No one spoke as Nelson found a lucky spot on the ground floor. The car beeped softly as the doors unlocked.
“Oh come on, it’s just a joke,” Sean whined as he climbed out of the car. “You should be used to this by now. You gotta bounce back to your old self.”
“I can’t go back to being human, Sean.” Thomas slammed the car door shut, rattling the entire car. Nelson glared at him but didn’t say anything.
Thomas wasn’t in the mood for this. He wanted to be at Artemis’ apartment, where the scents were calming and she was close. Instead, the thick fumes in the garage choked him and Sean’s insensitivity aggravated his unstable emotions.
Shadows of Colesbrooke Page 11
