“You mean while we sit here twiddling our thumbs? How about anyone else who knows about You-Know-Who’s extracurricular activities.”
“His other clientele,” Dad said, but we agreed there was nothing we could do about that.
“What about Evert?” Joe asked. “He’s the one who gave you this idea.”
“And Fanny’s proven over and over you can’t put anything past her,” I said. “You-Know-Who should be worried about her, too.”
“Give them a call,” Dad suggested, but I refused.
“Sterling will kill me if I don’t sit here sitting still. And Evert doesn’t even have a phone.”
Joe asked about Fanny, but I shook my head.
“It’s kind of late to be bothering her,” I said. “And she’s safe. She wasn’t even home when Travis got killed. You-Know-Who knows tha—“
I sat up straight. “Holy moly! Shit, shit, shit!”
“What?” the guys asked. “What, what, what?”
“He might not realize Fanny wasn’t home.” I jumped up, waved everyone inside, and shut the door.
“Yesterday morning!” I leaned back on the door as if Gabe might try to storm it. “Yesterday morning he asked Fanny if she heard anything Friday night. But she never actually answered him.” I thought back. “Not completely anyway. Sterling interrupted us and sent Gabe away to do something about the body.” I started pacing between rocking chairs. “Gabe heard Fanny say she didn’t go to her usual Senior Citizen shin-dig. But he wasn’t there when she talked about the art show.” I stopped in front of my father. “He might not know Fanny was in Woodstock.”
“He might think she was home,” Dad said.
“He might think she heard something,” Joe said.
“Of course he does!” I said. “She hears everything! And now that Nina’s been cleared—”
“—and he’s already killed once,” Joe added.
“Da-aad!” I flapped my arms. “What should we do?”
“Call her.” he said and went for the phone.
“But Captain Sterling,” I said.
Joe took the phone from my father and thrust it into my hands. “Tell her you’re checking on Miss Rusty. You don’t need to mention Gabe at all.”
I called her. She answered immediately, and I apologized for the late hour. She assured me she wasn’t in bed yet.
“I’m sorry to bother you,” I said. “But gosh, I’m still worried about Miss Rusty.” I scowled at the guys. “How’s she feeling? Is everything in Mallard Cove, umm, peaceful?”
“Oh, yes,” she said. “Evert and Miss Rusty must be sound asleep by now. Miss Rusty needs her rest, doesn’t she? What with being away from home, the poor girl’s digest—”
She stopped suddenly.
“Fanny?” I asked.
“I’m sorry, Cassie, I have to go. I appreciate your calling.”
“Fanny?”
“Gabe Cleghorn just pulled up. What on earth could he want at this hour? Goodbye, dear.”
“Fanny, wait—”
She hung up.
Chapter 50
I slammed down the phone. “He’s there!” I screeched.
My father took me by the shoulders and shook me. “Call Sterling,” he ordered me.
“Sterling!” I wiggled away. “He can’t help her, he’s in Montpelier. She’s in danger now!”
“We’re not sure of that.” Joe said.
“Yeah, right!” I pointed to the kitchen clock. “What’s he doing over there at nine freaking forty-five? He’s supposed to be tracking down every pusher this side of Lake Champlain, and he’s got time to visit Fanny Baumgarten?”
Dad grabbed his car keys. “Let’s go,” he said, and we all headed to the door.
“No, wait!” I stopped short, and Joe bumped into me. “The three of us showing up is way too obvious. Sterling will kill me if we screw this up.”
“Only one of us should go,” Joe said. “To stall Gabe until we can get Sterling there.”
“Exactly.” I held out my hands for the keys, but my father held them behind his back.
“No, girl.”
“Okay, fine! I’ll take my own car.” I headed to the closet for my purse, but Joe stepped in front of me.
“Two against one,” he said and pointed to Bobby.
“Spare me!” I looked back and forth between them. “You guys know I’m the most likely candidate. Fanny’s used to me stopping by and snooping around.” I lunged for Dad’s keys, and he tossed them over my head to Joe, who held them up where I couldn’t reach them.
“This is ridiculous!” I jumped up and down and slapped at his chest.
“I’ll go,” he said.
“Yeah, right!” I stepped back. “And what reason will you have for dropping in on her? On Sunday night? At ten o’clock?”
That stumped him.
“I’m waiting.”
“I’ve got it!” He smiled at us. “Fanny was my first teacher. She’s the one who got me interested in science.”
“What are you talking about?” No, that wasn’t me. It was my father.
“The FN451z,” Joe said as if this made any sense at all. “I’ll tell her about the trouble it’s been having lately and ask her opinion.”
“Spare me!” both Baxters said, and Dad snatched the keys back from Joe. “I’m going.”
“Dad, wait!” I jumped between him and the door.
“Think,” he told me. “I really do have a legitimate excuse to see Fanny tonight.”
“Like what?”
“I’ll say I’m interested in the Senior Citizen Supper Club. I’ll say I haven’t danced in a while. I’ll say I’d like to practice with her before we do it in public.”
“That’s your legitimate excuse?” I cried.
“It might work,” Joe agreed, and I twirled around to slap his chest a few thousand more times.
He ignored me and spoke to my father. “She’ll talk your ear off. Keep stalling until we can get the State Trooper there.”
I twirled around and stomped my size-five foot. “I forbid you to go alone, old man.”
“Okay, I’ll bring Charlie.” He moved me aside and headed to the coat closet. “And I’ll bring my gun.”
“What!?” I screeched and Joe screeched. The FN screeched, and Charlie let out one of his rare barks. But Dad still came out of the closet toting his rifle.
“This will make Gabe stop and think,” he said.
“Stop and think!” I screamed. “What excuse will you have for bringing your stupid rifle to dance practice?”
Dad looked at Charlie. “We’ll think of something.”
“You’ll hurt someone,” I said.
“With this thing?” Dad held it up. “Impossible. It’s not loaded.”
“You should check that, Bobby,” Joe said.
“I know it’s not loaded, because I don’t know how. And besides, I never bought bullets.”
I stopped jumping around. “Say what?”
He shrugged. “I knew I wasn’t ever going to actually use the thing.” He called to his dog, and they ran out the door.
“Until now,” I said and stared into the empty space where my father had been.
***
“If he gets hurt.”
Joe stepped up from behind me. “We’re calling 911.”
“No!” I snapped out of it and twirled around. “The sheriff is already there, remember? And Deputy Dent wouldn’t know what to do. Gabe’s his boss.”
“The Hilleville PD?” Joe suggested, and we both shook our heads.
I called Sterling, got no answer, and was about to pop an artery, when Joe started for the door. “Bring your cell phone,” he called over his shoulder. “I’ve got an idea.”
“What idea?” I grabbed my purse and raced after him.
“Oliver Earle,” he said as we made it to his driveway and his car. “He’s our high bailiff.”
High bailiff?
I jumped. “Our high bailiff!” I jumped some more. “Oliver!”
“Get in.”
I got in and tried Sterling again, and of course my stupid, stupid, cell phone didn’t work. I banged the stupid thing on the dashboard.
“Text him,” Joe said.
Yeah, right. But as we careened over every pot hole on Elizabeth Circle, I made an attempt. I typed in “lake bess,” I think. I typed in “fanny,” but didn’t even try “baumgarten.” I typed in “asap” and hit send as Joe slammed into park.
The Lake Store closes at nine, so we ran up the back stairs to Oliver’s apartment. He was in his pajamas, and didn’t look all that happy to see us.
We barged in anyway and started explaining, and Oliver looked less happy by the second. When we got to the part about him arresting the sheriff he re-opened his front door to wave us out.
I closed the door. “This is exactly the kind of situation the high bailiff is made for,” I told him.
“Yeah, right.”
“Yes, right. You’re supposed to help the sheriff in case of emergency.”
“Help,” Oliver said. “Not arrest. I’ll get in all kinds of trouble.”
“And I won’t?” I jabbed a finger at my chest “Think how I’ll look if we’re wrong. Looney Tunes doesn’t begin to cover it.”
“We’re talking about Fanny,” Joe said quietly, and Oliver stopped wrestling me for control of the door.
“You’re absolutely sure about this?” he asked.
“Pretty sure,” Joe said.
“Pretty sure!? I’ll end up in jail, and you’re pretty sure?”
“Oh, for Pete’s sake!” I flapped my arms. “Will you help us if I get someone with authority to say it’s okay?”
“Who would that be?”
I took a deep breath. “Sarah Bliss. She must know the rules, right?”
“What if she’s in cahoots with Gabe?” Joe asked.
“She’s not,” I said, and hoped I knew what I was talking about. “She’s rude, but she’s not a criminal.”
Oliver rummaged around for his phone book and handed me his phone. “Call her,” he said and read me the number.
***
“This is Cassie Baxter,” I said when Sarah answered. “Don’t hang up.”
She didn’t.
“I have a cockamamie story to tell you. Don’t hang up.”
She didn’t.
“I think Gabe killed Travis La Barge. Don’t hang up.”
She didn’t.
I blinked at Joe. Sarah did not hang up.
“Do you know about this?” I asked her.
“I’m listening.”
I told her the Gabe Cleghorn theory as quickly as humanly possible. “He’s at Fanny Baumgarten’s, Captain Sterling’s unavailable, so we want Oliver Earle to go arrest Gabe. He can do that, right?”
“What are you talking about?”
“Our high bailiff!” I think I was shouting. “Oliver is our high bailiff!”
A very long pause.
“Let me talk to him,” she said, and I jammed the phone into his hands.
He did a lot of ‘Mm-hmming’ and ‘Okaying,’ and with one final ‘Mm-hmm’ he hung up.
He clapped his hands. “Let’s go.”
“Really?” Joe and I said in unison.
“Let me get my rifle.”
“Rifle?” we said and watched him rummage through his coat closet.
“I don’t suppose either of you brought a weapon?” he asked from beneath a few jackets. He stood up and scowled at his volunteer posse.
Let’s face it—I was totally useless. And Joe? He might be good back up in a barroom brawl at Mandy’s, but everyone in town knew Josiah Wylie does not do guns.
“My father’s over there with his rifle,” I said.
Oliver blinked. “He ever use it?”
“Umm,” I answered, but Joe said it didn’t matter anyway.
“Bobby’s gun isn’t loaded.”
“Oh, that reminds me.” Oliver started rummaging through his kitchen drawers. “Where are my bullets?”
“Bullets?” Joe asked.
“You’re actually loading it?” I asked.
Oliver looked up from actually loading it. “Sarah said to.” He focused on me. “I’m depending on you two to do exactly what I say.” He focused on me again. “You understand?”
“We’ll be very helpful,” I promised.
“That’s what I’m afraid of.”
He hurried out the door, and as Joe and I raced after him, I wondered if there were any rules against high bailiffs making arrests in their pajamas.
Chapter 51
Joe drove, Oliver rode shot-gun—no pun intended—and I gladly hopped in the back seat.
We hit a pot hole about the size of the Echo Space Crater at the exact same moment Sterling called.
Through heavy static I think I caught on that he had the search warrants and was wondering why I kept calling him.
“What’s this text message about my fanny?”
“Not your fanny. Our Fanny!” I shouted through the terrible reception. “It’s an emergency. Meet us at Fanny Baumgarten’s.”
“What?” Static, static, static. “Emerg—”
Joe rounded a curve and headed toward Mallard Cove.
“Meet us at Fanny Baumgarten’s,” I shouted into the phone.
“What?”
“Fanny Baumgarten! Fanny Baumgarten!“
“You found a bomb in your garden?”
I hung up and told the guys Sterling was on his way.
***
I was thinking we might actually make it to Mallard Cove sometime before the next millennium when Joe slammed on the brakes. “You really have to wonder,” he said, and Oliver asked if that would help.
I poked my head between the front seats and peered out the windshield. Rose and Ruby peered back.
“Oh, for Pete’s sake!” I screamed.
I hopped out, and coaxed, cajoled, and prodded the stupid beasts. But ended up cursing the stupid beasts. I swear they laughed at me. The stupid beasts in the car were also enjoying themselves.
Oliver poked his head out the window. “You want I should I shoot them, Cassie?”
I made a gesture I don’t use very often, and had gone back to tugging and pushing, when lightning struck nearby. A downpour began, and I was immediately drenched. But the thunderclap startled Ruby, and she ran off with her sidekick in tow, and we finally, finally, made it to Fanny’s.
Oliver ordered me to wait in the car. “You follow me,” he told Joe, and they hopped out.
Yeah, right. I waited a whole split second before running to catch up, and our high bailiff informed me I was under arrest.
“Would you get in there, already!” I pushed him forward, and the three of us stumbled through the doorway.
***
“What’s going on here?” Oliver asked.
A very good question.
I’ll get to all the guns in a minute, but let’s start with Fanny. She sat on her couch between Evert Osgood and Oden Poquette. They were holding hands and all three were in their nightclothes. For Fanny that meant a royal blue bathrobe with matching slippers. Oden’s pajamas sported a maple leaf print, and Evert wore those same plaid pajamas I’d already seen him in.
“I’m glad he doesn’t sleep in the nude,” I whispered, and Joe shot me a confused glance. I pointed to the dog sitting at Evert’s bare feet. “Miss Rusty’s here, too,” I said.
Of course my father and Charlie were also present. I expected them. But Maxine Tibbitts was kind of a shocker. She wore polka dot pajamas and was toting a shotgun. Like I said—kind of a shocker.
Maxine, my father, and Charlie stood in a corner opposite the couch, and Dad and Maxine had their rifles aimed at Gabe.
Which brings me to the most important point. Gabe Cleghorn stood in another corner. And yes, he had a gun. His was much smaller than everyone else’s, but it looked a lot more lethal. It was aimed at Fanny.
Oliver pointed his gun at Gabe, and the sheriff look
ed at Fanny. “You expecting anyone else?” he asked.
Evert nudged her to respond, and her blind eyes scanned the room. “May I take attendance, please?”
***
Let’s face it, Mrs. Baumgarten had taught half the room about attendance. Her former students called out their names, and the rest of us quickly caught on. Miss Rusty barked when it was her turn, and my father spoke up for Charlie.
“We must be very crowded,” Fanny concluded, and Oliver asked how her living room had gotten quite so crowded.
“It’s interesting,” she said. “I was all alone until Cassie called a while ago.” She turned in my direction. “I’m sorry I hung up on you, dear. But that’s when Gabe arrived. He seemed quite upset.”
Gabe shifted slightly.
“He started badgering me about what I heard the night Travis was killed.”
“I wasn’t badgering,” he said. “I was interviewing.”
“With a gun?” the rest of us asked.
“She didn’t hear anything.” That was me. “She wasn’t even here.”
Gabe’s mouth dropped open.
“That’s right,” Fanny said. “I was in Woodstock. Lindsey had her big art show that night. It went so well! Love met a very exclusive dealer from Boston and sold seven of her vases right then and there. And Mr. Prather put in orders for tea sets, and serving trays, and fruit bowl—”
“Fanny,” Oliver interrupted. “What about tonight? What about Gabe?”
“Oh, yes. As I was saying, he was quite belligerent.” She spoke to me again. “That’s when I remembered our earlier conversation. Remember? About Sheriff Gabe?”
“Yep,” I said.
“Yep, indeed. I figured it out right then and there. ‘Fanny, you old fool,’ I said to myself. ‘It’s Gabe. That’s what Cassie was getting at.’”
“They’re both nuts,” Gabe said. “Fanny’s got it all wrong.”
Oliver ignored him. “Go on, Fanny, we’re listening.”
“Well now, I asked Gabe, didn’t I?” she said. “I asked him if he killed Travis, and he told me I should be grateful. ‘The kid was scum,’ he told me.” She stopped and closed her eyes.
Evert patted her knee. “That’s when Miss Rusty and me came in.” He looked up and explained his little piece of the puzzle to the rest of us. I’ll spare you the details of Evert and Miss Rusty’s nightly routine, but evidently they were getting ready for bed when Evert noticed Gabe’s car at Fanny’s.
Unbelievable Page 23
