by Sharon Sala
Lily thought about waking her father just to vent her worry and then stopped herself. If she admitted she was worried, then she would have to admit why. It wasn’t possible. She couldn’t care for this man. The last man she’d cared for had let her down horribly. It hurt too much to face the possibility again.
She slammed the last fork back into place, shuffled the knives although they didn’t need shuffling, and then dropped the drawer and its contents onto the floor as the kitchen door suddenly opened.
An entire twelve-place setting of stainless steel cutlery went flying across the shiny linoleum.
As tired as he was, Case began to grin. “Best greeting I’ve had all day,” he said.
“You startled me,” she accused, and got down on her hands and knees and began grabbing at the knives, forks and spoons.
“I see that,” he said softly, as he knelt to help.
“I can do it,” Lily said. “I dropped it...I’ll clean it up.”
“Sometimes, Lily, two sets of hands are better than one. Don’t argue with me. I’m too damned tired to hear it.”
She swiftly relented as she saw the lines of weariness beneath his eyes and the tired droop to his lips. A thin layer of dust hung over his skin and clothing and his usually bright blue eyes were almost gray with fatigue.
She grabbed his hand and gently took the handful of cutlery from him
“Go take a bath,” she said softly. “I saved some supper for you.”
He leaned back on his heels, searching her face for more than concern. He sighed with defeat. It wasn’t there.
“I won’t be long,” he said quietly. And walked away.
Lily knew something more than fatigue was bothering him. She’d felt it ever since church this morning. Sometime between their arrival and their departure. Case had changed. She didn’t think it was a religious revelation that had overcome him. But for the life of her, she couldn’t quite put her finger on the problem.
If she’d only known to turn around and look in a mirror, Lily Brownfield would have been staring at Case’s problem. But if she had, she wouldn’t have known how to deal with it. She couldn’t even deal with her own.
* * *
Case walked back into the kitchen. Tiny droplets of water still beaded across his bare belly where he’d hurried to dry, knowing that Lily was waiting for him. One button was undone at the waistband of his blue jeans and his hair was wet and seal black against his neck as he dropped into his seat at the kitchen table.
“Sorry I didn’t dress for supper,” he said, trying to tease the look of shock off her face. “But as soon as I eat, I’m going to undress again and crawl into bed. Didn’t want to waste any time getting there.”
Lily tried to ignore all that expanse of bare skin as she filled his plate with food she’d kept warm from the evening meal.
“It doesn’t bother me,” she said quickly. “I have four brothers, remember?” But I never wanted to touch my brothers the way I want to touch you. Her wayward thoughts made her hands shake and she slopped bean juice down the side of the bowl as she carried it to the table.
“Sorry,” she said, as she set it down and went to get a cloth. “I kept the cornbread warm but I’m afraid it’s going to be a little tough. It just doesn’t heat up like other breads. I always think it’s a little...”
Case grabbed her hand. “Stop it, Lily,” he said quietly. “It’s fine just the way it is. Don’t fuss.” And when he feared that he’d hurt her feelings by being too abrupt, he finished by saying, “I’m not used to having anyone care whether I showed up late or even showed up at all.”
“Oh! I wasn’t...”
Her voice ceased at the look on his face. She couldn’t lie, not about that, and not now.
“Well,” she said. “I knew you were all right. I just didn’t want you to go to bed hungry.”
I could eat until morning, and I’d still be hungry...for you. “Thank you, Lily. I really appreciate it.”
She blushed, and turned to the counter, staring at the jumble of cutlery. “Now I’m going to have to wash this stuff all over again before I put it back,” she said.
“I won’t tell if you won’t,” Case said.
Lily turned around and gaped at the innocent look in his eyes. The thought of getting by with something like this was too good to pass.
“Promise?” Her lips twitched with delight at the thought.
“Promise,” Case said solemnly. “I never break my word, Lily. That’s something you should remember...for future reference, of course.”
Her hand jerked. She blushed and began sorting the cutlery back into the proper sections. It didn’t mean a thing that they were going to share a secret. This was such a silly thing. It didn’t mean anything, not anything at all.
She finished, while Case quietly ate. Unaware that every bite he took was followed by a long, contemplative look at her. It was only when she heard his chair scoot back from the table that she realized he was through.
“Well!” she said quickly. “I’ll just wash these up and then...”
“Leave it,” Case said. He set the dirty dishes in the sink, ran them full of water, and turned to face her.
Lily started to argue and then caught the expression in his eyes. She turned her face away and ducked, unconsciously shielding herself from his view.
“Damn it to hell, Lily. I wish you’d stop doing that to me.”
She looked up, stunned to see real anger spreading across his face.
“To you? You’re not the...”
“Yes, I am,” he argued. “Every time I look at you, I’m judged by another man’s actions. I don’t like it. I don’t like it one damned bit.”
She started to argue. But it was impossible to argue with the truth. She started to apologize. But it was impossible to talk with her mouth otherwise occupied.
The kiss came suddenly. But somewhere, in the back of her mind, she’d expected it. Maybe that was why she didn’t argue. Maybe that was why she didn’t move other than to take a step closer.
His arms slid around her, pulling her tightly against bare skin and corded muscles. Her hands moved across his chest and almost slipped up around his neck.
Almost...but not quite.
Case sighed as he relinquished his place. He lifted his head, started to step away, and then gave himself one more taste of Lily.
His lips were warm. The faint taste of hot bread and butter lingered as well as the last cup of coffee he’d consumed. Lily was suddenly hungry all over again but not for food. She shivered as his lips played havoc with her good intentions.
They coaxed and caressed. Firm and possessive, they moved across her face and down the side of her neck, lingering longer at the pulse point below her chin just to savor the knowledge that it raced when he tasted her.
“Case...”
He heard the hesitation in her voice. He also heard something else that gave him hope.
“What?” he asked, removing himself from her with supreme effort.
Lily stepped backwards in shock. What she’d been about to ask was impossible. She couldn’t allow herself to think of such things. But the thought still remained that she’d almost asked him to take her to bed.
“Never mind,” she said shortly. “It’s late. You’d better get your rest.”
Case doubled his hands into fists and resisted the urge to punch a hole in his kitchen wall. He closed his eyes, counted to ten, and when he opened them she was gone.
“Hell,” he said quietly. And that’s just where his dreams took him later that night.
* * *
He tossed and turned, lost in the knowledge that he loved a woman who hated men. Even though he felt her attraction, he knew she was fighting it with every ounce of strength she possessed. That’s what frightened him. Lily Brownfield was the strongest woman he’d ever met. He just had to find a way to channel that strength into confidence...not distrust.
* * *
Lily had felt it. The wanting...the n
eed. But it wasn’t possible. She’d made her decision a long time ago. No man was worth that kind of pain again. No man!
But her dreams took her into a world where a big man’s arms held her close. Where the sky and his eyes were one and the same...all open...all seeing...hiding nothing but the truth. Where the heat in her body focused on his touch, and her smile was as clear and smooth as the skin on her face.
And it was only a dream.
Chapter 6
“Buddy, you forgot these,” Lily yelled, as she took the stairs down two at a time with a shoe, a belt, and a hairbrush clutched to her breast.
Case came through the front door intent on carrying another load of luggage to the waiting vehicle, but as soon as he saw Lily flying down his staircase he forgot why he’d entered the house. He had an image of how wonderful it would be if he was met in this manner every time he came into his home. He wasn’t ready to give up even though Lily ignored every look he sent her way.
Her hair was braided in one thick twist and hung down the middle of her back like a king-size taffy. Her skin was shades browner than the day she’d arrived and made a startling contrast to the natural milk and honey shades of her sun-bleached hair. The yellow, no-nonsense sundress she was wearing added to the image she presented of sunbeams and vitality.
Case caught her as she hit the bottom step on the run.
“Whoa, Lily, love. You’ll take a header down those stairs if you’re not careful. Take it from one who knows.”
Lily turned several shades of red beneath her tan, turned away the side of her face that bore the scar, and wriggled out of his grasp in quick confusion.
She was still heartsick and confused from their late night interlude in the kitchen. She’d been so tempted to allow him what he’d wanted, and so certain that it would be the end of her if she did.
“Stop that,” she muttered. “Someone will see. And besides, I’m not your love.”
“Not my fault,” Case grumbled. “And I don’t give a damn if someone does see.”
He stalked back outside and left her standing where he’d turned her loose, unaware of the look of longing that followed his exit. Lily couldn’t get past the way it had felt to be gathered up in those strong arms and clasped against a cowboy’s heart. Los Angeles had not prepared her for a man like Case Longren.
Lily’s father and brothers were leaving today and she was nervous, but she couldn’t quite put her finger on the reason. At least she’d been unable to until Case Longren had caught her at the bottom of the stairs. Now she knew why she was nervous! She was going to be alone...again...in this house...with Case!
Before her family’s arrival she’d been able to keep him at arm’s length. Now she’d been in his arms more than she’d been out of them since their arrival. What was going to happen between them after her family left?
“Lilleee! We’re leaving!” Buddy yelled.
She moved toward the door on leaden feet. Oh God! Maybe she should just bolt and run. It wasn’t too late. She could leave now...with her family...they’d understand. And Pete could go back to being cook. After all, roundup was nearly over.
The moment Lily came outside clutching Buddy’s belongings, Case read the look of panic in her eyes. He wasn’t the only one.
“Thanks,” Buddy said, as he grabbed his stuff from Lily and tossed it into an already overflowing bag. “What would I do without you?”
It was the perfect opening. Lily started to agree when her father interrupted. He’d seen the look on her face, too, and knew that Cole had been right. Lily needed to see this thing through. She’d already had too many interruptions in her life to allow another. She needed to finish what she’d started.
“That’s what’s wrong with you, Buddy, my boy,” Morgan teased. “We took advantage of Lily much too long and look what we’ve become! We’re nothing but a bunch of moochers. It will be good for us to cope alone again. And, it will be good for Lily to have only herself to worry about. Right, honey?”
His words stopped her intention. Now what could she do? It was patently obvious that she wasn’t needed at home after all. Maybe not even wanted. She turned toward Cole and stared, knowing that the bond she had with her oldest brother was the strongest, praying that he’d know what she needed without asking.
Cole pulled her into a roughhouse embrace and whispered softly against her ear as he whirled her around in good-bye.
“You’re going to be fine, Lily Kate. Just let whatever your heart tells you to happen, happen. Don’t dwell on the past, girl. You’ve got too much to live for,” Cole said.
He put her down, planted a kiss on her surprised mouth, and tugged affectionately at her braid.
“I love you,” he said.
“I love you, too, Cole. I love you all,” Lily said with tears in her voice. “And I’m so glad you got nosey and came to check on me. I wouldn’t have missed J.D. and Dusty’s romp with Longren cattle for the world.”
Her teasing remarks brought the twins to life as one dug into his pocket and handed her an envelope.
“Here, sis,” J.D. said.
“It’s for Debbie Randall, your friend from Clinton,” Dusty continued.
Lily’s eyebrows rose a fraction. She knew that her friend from the grocery store had been at the barbecue and had noticed her brothers had had her in tow more than once during the evening. But she had no idea that their relationship had progressed into letters of good-bye.
“It’s not what you think,” J.D. grinned. “It’s the address of our agent and a letter of introduction for her. She’s interested in acting and thinking about making a trip to California. We’re just helping her along a bit.”
“Not another one,” Morgan muttered. “That’s not the most encouraging reason to come to California. Half the population of the Untied States thinks that it’s the Mecca for fame and glory.”
“Now, Dad,” Cole said, “J.D. and Dusty haven’t done half bad. Although that’s not to say everyone would automatically have their inborn instincts when it comes to telling stories. Hell, they’ve been lying for years. Now they’re getting paid to play make-believe. What’s the difference?”
Lily smiled at the banter that ensued as she stuck the envelope into her pocket. Debbie! Acting! She’d never have guessed!
Before she was ready, and before she could think of another reason to prolong their stay, they were heading down the long driveway toward Oklahoma City to catch their morning flight as Lily and Case waved good-bye.
“Are you all right?” Case asked, as he watched Lily swipe at a tear.
“Of course,” she said. “Why wouldn’t I be? After all, it’s not like I’ll never see them again. In less than a month roundup will be over and you’ll have no more need for a cook on the Bar L.”
Her words hurt. And so did the offhand manner in which they were spoken.
“Well, don’t be so damned happy about it,” Case growled, and stomped off toward the barns.
Lily’s mouth dropped. The morning sun hit her full force as she turned to stare at his retreating figure. Tiny beads of sweat popped out on her upper lip and down the middle of her back. Lily didn’t know whether it was from the impending heat, or the sight of his narrow hips and long legs stretching the distance between them. No matter what else she might admit about Case Longren, she couldn’t ignore the fact that he was one sexy man.
She lifted her hand to her forehead, shading her eyes as she watched Case walk away. What had prompted that reaction?
A little voice inside her heart told her she already knew the answer, but she ignored it. What did her heart know about anything? It had steered her wrong once before. It could do it again.
* * *
It was Sunday. Everyone’s day off. Lily had skipped church and slept in and was now bored. She wished she hadn’t been so lazy. She missed the services and the routine and, if she was honest with herself, she missed the people. Lily’s Sunday trips to the little country church less than two miles from the ranch had beco
me a habit. She’d been accepted openly. And , it had been good for her heart.
Before her accident, she’d been a people person. She’d always been the first to volunteer to host a party, or help a friend in need. Now she seemed to shy away from too much outside contact for fear of the reaction she imagined people would have at seeing her face. But going to church was easing her back into the public eye.
Lily walked through the downstairs of Case’s house, looking absently into each room, knowing that he was somewhere outside and she could roam at will.
She wandered into the den, taking note of the masculine furnishings. The walls of this room were the only ones in the entire house that weren’t painted white. Instead, they were paneled in aged, but polished, knotty pine and always made Lily feel comforted when she entered. There was something very homey about wood floors and walls and rock fireplaces.
Her gaze ran along the bookshelves on either side of the fireplace as she toyed with the idea of reading. It didn’t appeal. She ran her fingers along the glassed doors of the locked gun cabinet and counted off the number of guns she saw stored inside.
There was even a hunting rifle just like her brother Cole’s, and she laughed to herself as she remembered how sore her shoulder had been until she’d learned to shoot it to his satisfaction. She’d actually gotten quite good at target shooting, but hunting left her cold. She couldn’t bring herself to kill anything, even an animal that she knew would produce food for her family. She’d rather go to the market and buy something someone else had already dispatched. That way she didn’t have to think about how it got there, just how she was going to cook it.
“Miss Lily!”
She jumped as Duff’s strident shout broke her reverie. And then the tone of his voice penetrated and she moved out of the den on the run. What was wrong?
“Here,” she called, as she ran into the kitchen just as he was heading back outside.
“Oh, thank the Lord,” Duff muttered, as he yanked his ten gallon hat from his head and scratched at the sparse gray growth beneath. “I didn’t think you was here, Miss Lily.”
