by Fuse
Veldora, looking none the worse for wear after Luminus’s punishment, was naturally the first to react. He was in fine shape, after all, not that I had been concerned.
“Hmm… If this is a feast, I imagine I am invited as well?”
Whoa! Luminus, out of nowhere, was standing right next to me. And she was invited, of course, but were things really square with her and Veldora?
“Well, sure, but um… What do I call you? Lord Luminus?”
“Don’t be weird. Luminus is fine.”
I suppose it was. We were fellow Octagram members.
“All right. Luminus, then. And you’re safe calling me Rimuru, too. But about Veldora—”
“I will not forgive him. That much is certain. I’ve come here today to atone for what my servants have done. In deference to you, Rimuru, I will give the lizard his full punishment another day.”
Oooh. She’s just calling me straight Rimuru. I thought she’d act more high and mighty, but I guess she’s a lot more unaffected than that.
I was thinking about how I might just get along with her when Veldora started acting out again. And Luminus took the bait, of course.
“What?! I’ve had more than enough punishment!”
“Silence, you! I’ve already given you my concessions. Or if you’d prefer, we could settle this right here!”
“Kwah-ha-ha-ha! Very well! Allow me to show you the sheer scale of my might—”
They fought like cats and dogs. I wasn’t so sure they were enemies at all, really. Maybe the term frenemies was invented to describe this.
“Stop it, you idiot. No violent rages within city limits.”
I had to put my foot down. Otherwise, they’d be apt to tear the whole place down.
Luminus, at least, seemed to be happy, no doubt appreciating all the magicule energy she had sucked out of Veldora’s body. It seemed like she was letting bygones be bygones for now, so maybe it was best not to needlessly prod her. If she’s joining in the party, let’s give her the time of her life.
“So about this party— I wouldn’t expect the kind of first-class dining you’d get at Walpurgis, but are you okay with that?”
Luminus nodded, thankfully. “I did not attend the last one because I had a bad feeling about it…but that was not the only reason. My own team of cooks produce delicacies similar in quality to what you found over there. And eating is already optional for me; one simply gets bored of it over time. But you have rare and uncommon spirits here, no? Given how that lizard is already licking his lips, I must have a lot to look forward to.”
“Lady Luminus, do you not feel that is too careless of you?” an elderly servant of hers interjected.
I say elderly strictly in terms of outward appearance. He had extraordinarily good posture, and from the general aura he presented, I could tell this wasn’t some guy off the street. No, this servant was more comparable to Louis, standing adjacent.
Luminus gave this servant a dissatisfied look. “Why do you insist on opening your mouth constantly, Gunther? This is exactly why I didn’t want to take you.”
“Because it is my duty, my lady.”
“Well, enough of that. Rimuru seems like a sensible person to me. I’m not about to settle things with Veldora right here. There’s nothing you need to worry about.”
“But—”
“I said enough! You have no right to boss around a demon lord as old as I am! I bid you to go back ahead of me!”
Gunther gave a tired sigh to this show of force from his master. But he couldn’t defy her. After a few moments of thought, he carried out her orders.
“…I will return now, in that case.”
Luminus smiled. “Very good. Thank you, Gunther. You worry far too much. We have Louis and Hinata here.”
“I cannot help but worry about my princess,” he replied, looking at Louis. “I leave her in your hands, Louis.”
“Understood.”
Louis wasn’t too enthused about this, either. His expression didn’t change, but I could sense it anyway. Maybe Luminus was in the habit of using and abusing them both on a regular basis…or at least, that’s what the conversation suggested to me.
Regardless, Gunther vanished the moment he heard Louis’s reply. Once she was sure he was gone, Luminus brightened up.
“And now that I’ve swatted that bothersome gnat away, we have a party to enjoy!”
Thus, Hinata and everyone under her on hand was joining the feast—whether they wanted to or not. Nobody dared voice any disagreement—nobody was foolish enough to rile Luminus. That was how spectacular her fight with Veldora had been, really. It might’ve been a little light sparring from their perspective, but if any of the paladins got too close, it would’ve spelled disaster for them.
It’s a good thing I was around to stop them just now, or the fallout around town would’ve been catastrophic. Some of them had turned pale, contemplating what they had just narrowly avoided, while others hadn’t even realized the gravity of it all yet. Which—yeah—if you were a paladin, today’s myriad of events must’ve been mind-blowing. My battle with Hinata was superhuman enough as it was, but then we extinguished the Seven Days Clergy, and then they found out the god they worshipped all along was a demon lord… Then, to cap it off, the Veldora fight. It seemed to me that their faith in Hinata was the only thing that allowed them to keep it together, but this would take time for them to fully accept.
But hey, let’s all relax for today, okay?
Rigurd, perhaps picking up on this, clapped his hands a few times and began barking out orders, sending the townspeople around him scurrying in all directions. Some collected everyone’s horses; some approached the paladins to accept their weapons and armor; some gave out potions to the wounded. And I guess the paladins really did believe in Hinata, because once she handed her gear over, the rest all followed. Some were even trying out our recovery potion, acting shocked at the results.
I thought this was going to be harder, for some reason. But this was actually pretty chill.
“Now, it will be some time before the meal is ready, so why not take a bath first to take the grime off your bodies? We have rooms prepared for all of you, of course, so you may feel free to relax as well.”
The paladins didn’t seem to understand what any of that meant.
I knew the people of Englesia were in the habit of bathing regularly. I think the words used were all familiar to them. Hinata’s team members were using inns along the way, apparently, and they all definitely had baths. Perhaps they never imagined monsters wanting a dip now and then, too.
Well, prepare to be amazed, guys! The baths we got here will beat anything you’ll see in your capital, trust me. Really more of a hot spring, in fact, and I’ve got everything from a large pool-like room to private open-air baths. Just like a hot-spring-resort town back in Japan, I’ve got all kinds of different types to try out. It makes for killer advertising, and besides, it just feels good when you’re all tired out.
They’d also need some new clothes to change into, wouldn’t they? The simple gear under their armor was battered and torn, a hopeless mess after all the fighting they’d been through. A change of clothes should be good PR, too, I thought. Maybe some of the hemp-based jinbei shirt-and-shorts outfits we’d just developed? We had the more kimono-like yukata for the women, too—in a pretty broad color selection, even.
“Oh, don’t you worry,” Haruna told me with a grin. “Lady Shuna is already underway with preparations.”
I guess I had nothing to worry about. Let’s get going, then.
“All right, everyone. Please, enjoy our baths, the pride of our nation. The water is all pumped in from a natural spring, and I guarantee you’ll find it rejuvenating. Does absolute wonders for your skin, too.”
The salesman side of me was in full swing. Luminus swiftly took the bait.
“Ah, a bath? And good for the skin? Fascinating. I imagine you have saved your finest private bath chamber for me, yes?”
Um, private chamber?
And then I remembered. In the Dwarven Kingdom, as advanced as their tech was, personal steam baths were the common custom. They didn’t have bathhouses meant for use by great numbers of people at once. Englesia had public facilities like that, but Blumund didn’t. If the common people wanted to keep clean, after all, there were household magic spells for that, no water required. Every town had people who’d cast them on you for a nominal fee.
What all this meant was that, in this world, there’s no common, unified custom of drawing a bath and just soaking in it for a while. A private bath was a grand luxury, something that would only be possessed by the upper class—and even then only in nations with a large population of otherworlders. I kept forgetting that, given how my home nation installed baths even in one-bedroom apartments.
Luminus must’ve been anticipating some nobleman’s grandiose gilded chamber of delights, but I was gonna have to disappoint her. There was no telling how angry she’d be if I just guided her to our regular baths without explanation. I decided to address her misconceptions before anything else.
“No, um, we have baths that everyone can go in. Separated by gender, of course, but there’s also a mixed bath if that’s more of what you’re into…?”
I thought that would’ve been enough. But others reacted before her.
“…?!”
“What was that?!”
“Ah-haaa…”
Arnaud and the other male paladins had stars in their eyes. Heh-heh. Must’ve piqued their curiosity.
“Well, if you’re interested, right over there we have—”
I stopped midway. Hinata’s frigid stare was pointed right at me. She wasn’t falling for it.
“Lady Luminus, let’s go to a women’s bath. This will be my first hot spring visit in a while, so this is a very exciting opportunity.”
“Oh? Well, if you say so, Hinata, I will not stop you.”
I expected as much. But ah well. And here I was hoping I could join Hinata and Luminus for a… Wait, hang on. I shouldn’t give up yet, maybe. Arnaud and his cohorts looked profoundly disappointed, but it was a fool’s errand to expect the women to join the men in there. But what if it was just me?
“All right,” I said, giving the paladins a suitably sheepish look, “let me guide you to the women’s bath.”
I tried to walk away as casually as possible. But it wasn’t going to be that easy.
“Wait one moment. Why are you trying to take us there?”
“Why? You’re gonna need a guide, Hinata.”
No need to panic yet. Just keep calm. Make it seem natural.
“You don’t know the way there, do you? We have baths with different compositions of minerals and stuff. There’s even a sauna. I just thought it’d be prudent to explain how it all worked.”
I had once guided two of the Three Lycanthropeers through it all, I explained to them, after they’d expressed an interest. They loved it, so that was now the custom I took.
“So yeah, I thought I could give you a better picture of how great all this stuff is, you know?”
“Let me handle that, Sir Rimuru!”
I really didn’t need Shion’s support right now, thanks. Gotta take a firm stand.
“Oh, I dunno if I can rely on you alone, Shion.”
“What?!”
“But hey, come on! No need to be a stick in the mud. I’ll even join you in there.”
I tried to sound as chill as possible. Now my going around the women’s bath wouldn’t seem odd at all. Hee-hee-hee… Perfect. The perfect plan. Now I could join her in the—
“No, wait. You used to be a man, didn’t you? Why are you acting like it’s completely normal for you to join us in there?”
Erk.
She saw through it?!
I shouldn’t be able to sweat, but I swore I could still feel a cold sensation running down my back. Luminus joined Hinata’s skepticism, giving me a “Hmm?” and a focused look.
“Well, no, I mean…”
I was starting to panic, but before I could formulate a coherent thought:
“What is the matter with it? Sir Rimuru is Sir Rimuru!”
Shion, the one person I thought I couldn’t count on here, swooped in to back me up. That’s right! Keep it going! I tried to mentally encourage her, but—in the end—Shion was Shion, too.
“But you can guide us around, too, right?”
“Of course!”
“In that case, I’d like to ask you a favor, would you mind?”
“But…”
“Wouldn’t this be a good opportunity to prove to your leader that you can be relied upon?”
“Oh, I see!”
In distressingly short order, Hinata had cajoled Shion to join her side. Even worse, the two Lycanthropeers joining us chose that moment to speak up.
“Don’t worry, Shion. We’ll be there, too, so if you forget anything, we can help!”
“Quite so. We’ve become regulars at this point, so we know how it all works.”
“Sir Rimuru,” Shion replied, her mind made up, “please let me handle this!”
“Uh… Sure. Make me proud.”
Aw. And here I was hoping to get a look at Hinata’s lovely naked body…but at this point, giving up was the only option left. I had just lost the chance of a lifetime, and I had to face up to that, as much as it distressed me.
Pulling myself back together, I turned toward Benimaru.
“Pfft. Ah well. I’ll pay the men’s bath a visit for the first time in a while.”
That’s one thing I like to give myself credit for—my ability to mentally switch gears fast.
“Okay, who wants to scrub my back? Nothing like letting water from deep in the mountains take the sweat and fatigue away.”
“Allow me, sir…”
Benimaru and the gang loved the hot spring we’d all built together. Going in as a group now and then wasn’t such a bad thing.
“Kwah-ha-ha! Will you do my back then, Rimuru?”
“Why do I have to do something like that?!”
I had no interest in dealing with Veldora. Brushing him off, I took the lead as we all headed over.
The majority of paladins were male, nearly a hundred in all, but that was no problem for my main bathhouse facility. If there was just one room, that would fill it up, but we had several, allowing them all to bathe at once. I could tell some of them were nervous—it must’ve been exciting for them. I’d love to give ’em a bit of a shock.
As I walked on, thinking this over, I ran into Shuna.
“I’ve prepared the clothing—but why are you together with the gentlemen, Sir Rimuru?”
The question was casual enough, but her eyes weren’t smiling. It gave me pause.
“Oh, I just thought I’d join them in the baths.”
Shuna gave me a cute little grin. Uh-oh. Doesn’t that mean she’s incredibly angry?
“How do you mean?” she asked, sizing us up before squaring her gaze upon Benimaru and Soei. “I’m sorry, Sir Rimuru has an errand to handle, so I’m afraid he cannot join you. Also, Benimaru and Soei, I would like to speak with you later.”
“Er, um—”
“…”
The two fell silent under Shuna’s pressure. I wasn’t sure what this was about, but they must’ve felt it wise to avoid stoking her rage any further.
Me, meanwhile? I was being assigned to the bath in my detached house. How could it be? What set off Shuna like that? I had no idea, even as Shuna pointed me straight back home.
After wrapping up a quick bath, I decided to check on how our prep work was going.
We’d be using the banquet hall for the festivities. With all the events we’d been hosting lately, I had this hall hastily built for us; it had only just been completed. Basically, it looked like a circular domed stadium, about the size of a gymnasium inside. Internally, it was wide open, the floor lined with tatami mats. It was meant to serve as an evacuation site in case of emergency, so it co
uld hold a fair number of people. We had a lot of space to work with, so we used steel frame to construct a building of a decent size and sturdiness, but over time, this was going to change to magisteel. Our nation, and all the powerful magic-born living in it, had a lot of natural advantages like that.
As I thought about this, food began to be delivered on serving trays, on a set of intricate-looking bowls like you’d see in a fancy restaurant. I had shown them how to knead clay into bowls like that, but then the children started imitating me, and nowadays you saw a lot of really impressive pieces. For colors, they made dyes out of herbal extracts or mixed weird ores into the clay, resulting in some dazzling work at times. The children’s output was being used in the homes of families across town.
It’s important to experiment with a lot of things, right? You never know what’s going to stick. The trays themselves were intricately detailed as well, made by Dold using processed wood from other projects. The kids started imitating that, too, and these days, handicraft sessions were part of regular recreation in Tempest.
Looking at it this way, from hot springs to the containers the food came in, my personal tastes were starting to show their presence everywhere. Compared with those first few days of chewing on grass, life had become unbelievably better for me. The food itself was really enjoyable now, too. I guess it’s easier to strive for something if you really feel like it’ll benefit you personally.
The main dish on tonight’s menu was tempura. Excellent. I mean, progressing this far was seriously moving to me. It looked perfect; it tasted amazing. All the work of Shuna in the galley. Definitely not Shion, it went without saying. Whether Shion had the Master Chef skill or not, one look at her attempts at cuisine and you knew she couldn’t be trusted with the responsibilities of a kitchen.
This tempura had also come about after I showed my memories to Shuna and we developed each component, piece by piece. And that wasn’t all. Fried chicken, hamburger, steak, croquettes, fried shrimp—I loved it all, and it went without saying that Milim did, too.
For someone like me, not that well versed in cooking, trying to explain the difference between fried shrimp and tempura was quite a challenge. In simple terms, all you’re doing is taking shrimp, coating it with batter, and frying it in oil—but the batter makes all the difference in texture and taste, you know? Frying can be done in a bunch of different ways, too, and trying to re-create that based on my (hazy) memories of look, and feel, and taste, proved fiendishly difficult. It took work, and now, thanks to Shuna’s efforts, it had come all the way here.
