The Shadow of a Dream

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The Shadow of a Dream Page 4

by Molly Lavenza


  “You again!”

  The vice principal suddenly appeared in front of us, and I turned my head at the sound of his annoyed voice. He was pointing at Declan, who kept his hold on me.

  “Should I let you go now?” he whispered, and I glanced back at him, unable to hold back a smile. I was completely and utterly confused, but thrilled to know what a boy’s arms around me felt like now. Not just any boy’s. Declan’s. Whatever else was going on around us was so vastly unimportant compared to what was going on between us.

  Which I could not define in the least.

  Did I want him to let me go? The way he was staring at me, as if I was something worth saving rather than someone in his way, made me want to scream NO.

  “Mr. Foster, it has been ten minutes since I last saw you lurking in the halls without a pass, and now you’re groping one of the female students. Unacceptable!”

  The vice principal’s bark pulled me from my cozy little bubble where only Declan and I existed, where I threw all my anxiety aside and dove into the comfort of his arms. I had known him for exactly three hours and now, covered in dripping ice cream and with complete faith in the safety of his embrace, I was crushing way too hard.

  My first crush. So sad that it took me seventeen years to get to this developmental milestone.

  “Come with me right now. And Miss. Lampers, I’ll expect to see you in the office as well. You’ll need a change of clothes after your, uh, mishap.”

  When Mr. Catan turned to the side, his stern expression still visible, I stuttered as I stepped away from Declan.

  “Thanks, I’m sorry you’re such a mess, too.”

  He tilted his head, either in recognition of my thanks or because he wasn’t happy that I had moved away from him. We needed to follow Mr. C or there would be trouble, and besides, I had to explain that Declan had helped me, and that it was another student who was responsible for assaulting me with the bowl of ice cream.

  It wasn’t the first time I had been singled out for harassment at school, and it wouldn’t be the last, not with nearly nine months left before graduation. No one had been incredibly creative with their bullying tactics in the past, but there was no way to predict what was in store for me.

  “We better get moving,” I suggested, ignoring the voices around me. Since Mr. C had moved away from the two of us, other kids crowded closer, and Melissa’s voice rang out, her sneering laughter standing out among the giggles and snickers.

  “Aren’t you allergic to dairy, Hopeless? Why aren’t you shriveling up to die?”

  Declan looked towards her, his face a mask of disbelief. I reached out to touch his arm, something I never did in my ongoing quest to maintain a distance between myself and other human beings, and stopped myself as he took a few steps in Melissa’s direction.

  She was smiling, her arms crossed over her chest smugly, and her friend who was responsible for the ice cream attack lurked beside her, imitating Melissa’s stance so well that it was comical.

  Unfortunately for them both, Declan wasn’t laughing, and it took all of three seconds for them to realize it and wipe the satisfaction from their faces.

  “You are not worthy, and will not come near her again.”

  Not worthy? As I frowned, unsure what he meant, Melissa grunted, moving her hands to her hips, and her cohort followed her actions exactly.

  “You don’t know who you’re talking to, but since you’re new and don’t understand how things work around her, I’ll give you a pass. This once.”

  Melissa pursed her lips together and stared at Declan, as if she was waiting for his apology. I couldn’t see his expression, only the back of his head, but his bearing was unyielding, almost regal. A surge of pride rushed through me, although I hardly knew this boy and surely had no claim to feel so strongly about him.

  “I can’t believe those bitches! Are you okay?”

  Corrie’s words cut into my thoughts, and I managed a small, unenthusiastic laugh as I looked down at my shirt. Old, worn, but comfortable, it had a pattern of colorful V shaped stripes, now soaked with thinning brown ooze.

  “Just makes me wish I could eat ice cream, you know?”

  She shook her head, not impressed with my lame joke.

  “But he touched you . . . are you sure you’re fine, even after that?”

  I didn’t blame her for being curious. Isolation was part of my very identity, and everyone knew that handling me for any reason would result in a reaction that wouldn’t just be embarrassing for me, but terrifying for anyone who witnessed it, especially the person who had made contact.

  Declan’s voice boomed over our conversation, silencing the entire room with a tone that contrasted sharply with the reassurance he had offered me in our private moments only a short time ago.

  “My concern is not for your opinion, or for you at all. Anyone who threatens Hope again will answer to me, and I assure you,” he paused, his voice deepening as he lifted his head, “accounting for your actions will not be pleasant.”

  Chapter Eight

  The silence stretched out, and I glanced around, catching the confused expressions of the other kids. Most of them just stared, looking from Melissa to Declan, but others just gazed adoringly at the boy who had come to my rescue.

  Granted, it was a little too late to prevent the sticky mess I had to deal with, but if he hadn’t caught me, my annoying headache would have turned into a skull cracking.

  Enter ambulance, drama, and more stress for my parents, not to mention the unwanted attention. I had been just fine huddling in corners and staying out of the way since middle school, but Declan’s appearance had left me on unsteady ground in a spotlight I didn’t want or need.

  “What did you just say to me?” Melissa whined, her own confusion barely concealed within her sneer.

  Corrie snorted beside me.

  “Like it was hard to understand?” she murmured sarcastically, her slur meant for me alone. I looked at her briefly, a small grin offering my approval, then turned back to watch Declan in action.

  “I am speaking English. Is that not your mother tongue?”

  His words and delivery seemed sincere rather than mocking, but the chorus of ooooohhhhs that immediately followed his question made it clear that our audience perceived them otherwise.

  Melissa stomped forward a couple of feet, then stopped, leaning forward as her face bloomed bright red.

  “What did you say about my mother?”

  Declan shook his head and looked down, turning away from her and lifting his gaze to mine.

  “Damn, girl,” Corrie breathed. “You’re sure you never met this guy before? He totally has it bad for you.”

  I opened my mouth but with no idea what to say, stood there gaping like an idiot as he approached. He nodded politely to Corrie, as if they were meeting for tea rather than under circumstances that could only be explained by a popular teen film.

  “I admit that for a minute there I wanted to start yelling Lana got coned but, you know, totally different circumstances.”

  Corrie’s response to Declan’s gesture made me laugh, and the sound seemed to unlock whatever spell was cast of the room that kept everyone quiet. The other kids began to walk around, talk together, and eat just as they had before Melissa’s henchman had approached me.

  Declan looked from Corrie to me, as if he didn’t understand why I was laughing.

  “But, yeah, there was no cone involved and Hope isn’t a secret princess or anything.”

  Corrie’s hand waved in the air in imitation of royalty, and she smiled at Declan encouragingly. Clearly he didn’t catch the Princess Diaries reference, but somehow I wasn’t surprised.

  “Excuse me, what did you just say?”

  His politeness didn’t mask the fact that his words were an echo of Melissa’s only moments earlier, in completely different circumstances, and there was an edge to his that spoke of more than confusion.

  “Hey, Corrie, Declan and I better get to Mr. C’s office, and I
have to grab my gym shirt from my locker to change into. Obviously.”

  I stopped speaking and sighed, wishing for more than a clean shirt. A shower, more sleep, some sort of explanation for whatever in the world was going on today. Any or all would have been welcome.

  “Yes, this Mr. C seemed rather upset. I don’t want to cause any problems for you, Hope, so I agree that we should get this straightened out.”

  His formality was growing on me, but I worried that it would just annoy the vice principal, or any other adult Declan might have to deal with. He had been looking out for me all morning, so maybe this was my chance to return the favor.

  “Stay away from the soft serve machine if you know what’s good for you,” I waved to Corrie as I attempted a joke, and she shook her head slowly, smiling and wiggling her fingers at me as I followed Declan through the cafeteria doorway.

  “NEW STUDENTS ARE EXPECTED to familiarize themselves with the student handbook and rules right away, so there really is no excuse for failure to adhere to them.”

  Mr. C sounded like he had been studying a thesaurus, but Declan maintained his air of respect while I wrestled with my desire to roll my eyes.

  “I understand, sir. My goal is to keep Hope from harm, and as such, your rules may have to remain secondary when necessary.”

  I frowned, and the vice principal turned his focus to me as he gripped his hands together in front of him, swiveling a little in his rolling chair. Declan was saying stuff that made no sense, yet again, and I didn’t have any idea how to explain it away to anyone, including the person who gave out detentions sitting across the desk from us.

  “Clearly you two know each other. Hope, I expect you to help Declan understand how we do things here at Castle Heights High.”

  As if we were some fancy private school and not a random public one, I thought, forcing myself to smile in agreement.

  “Of course.”

  Declan was looking around the room, stopping momentarily on what I thought might be items that intrigued him. A framed certificate behind Mr. C’s head. A colorful family photo on the desk. A Castle Heights High banner tacked up over the door.

  “Do you have recording devices in this building?”

  The vice principal and I both stared at Declan, unsure where he was going with his question.

  “Absolutely. Not in the restrooms or locker rooms, however. There are laws, you know.”

  It dawned on me that Declan was going to push for a punishment for Melissa’s friend. Bringing up any sort of bullying incident to the adults in my life only resulted in further torment, but Declan didn’t know this.

  “We’re going to be late for next period if we don’t get going, and we wouldn’t want to miss anything on the first day. I still have to change my shirt.”

  Declan stared at Mr. C, and the vice principal smushed his lips together and leaned back in his chair.

  “Uh, yes, Hope, you’re right, and I’m glad to see that you’ll be a good influence on Declan here. This is the second time you’ve avoided a detention, boy, and a third strike means you’re out.”

  Declan’s eyebrows rose.

  “Out where?”

  I put a hand over my face to cover my smile, sucking in a breath to prevent a giggle from escaping. Princess Diaries references notwithstanding, there was no way Declan didn’t understand a baseball saying.

  “Don’t get smart with me, young man. Both of you may go, and if I have to talk to either of you again, it will be an automatic detention.”

  Mr. C stood up and brushed off the front of his pants as if he had spilled something on them. I stood up as well, but Declan remained in his chair.

  “Your idioms make no sense to me, but that is beside the point. A recording of the incident in the cafeteria earlier will prove that another girl accosted Hope and nearly caused her great physical harm. I am aware that this behavior has gone on for years and the school administration has done nothing to stop it.”

  I wasn’t sure which of those statements to consider first. Was Declan from another country, with another language primary so he had difficulty with English that wasn’t right from a book? How did he know how I had been treated most of my life when we had only just met?

  How did he know anything about me at all?

  The longer the day went on, the more Declan revealed how much he knew about me. He wasn’t trying to hide it, and what he said often made no sense. Why would he want to protect me, and from what? A bunch of obnoxious kids who needed to boost their self-esteem by harassing me?

  A flash of tall grass and wildflowers, a fresh, clean scent, and Declan’s sad stare rose in my memory. That was beyond anything I could deal with right then, with Declan calling out the vice principal in reality.

  Usually my visions of the future meant horrifying images of someone I knew facing painful death, or a great loss. Never had I experienced a refreshing wood, clear skies, or the attention of a beautiful boy.

  A beautiful boy who, by his own account in the vision, was leading me to my own death.

  “We have a zero tolerance for bullying in this school system, I will have you know. Zero tolerance.”

  Mr. C slammed his fist on his desk to punctuate his words, but Declan stared at him without flinching.

  “Then I expect you’ll prevent this sort of attack from happening again.”

  Dismissing the vice principal with those words, Declan turned to me and held out his arm, gesturing for me to step out of the office ahead of him. The office helpers, along with the school secretary, looked up from their huddle, where they were most likely whispering about what they thought was going on between the three of us.

  I smiled, aware that Declan’s focus was entirely on me, and allowed my grin to grow wide as I turned away from the office workers.

  Chapter Nine

  “So, Declan,” I started as soon as we left office and the audience we always seemed to collect.

  Always, I thought. As if we hadn’t known each other for just a handful of hours. I had so many questions, and not a few about my own sanity. My medicine cabinet at home held a collection of prescription bottles, not all ones that I opened on a regular basis but enough for me to wonder if my current cocktail was causing hallucinations.

  How often had I daydreamed about a dashing prince on a white horse who came to rescue me from . . . myself? If I wasn’t a weak, pale, pathetic girl to begin with, I would have more friends and an actual social life. I wouldn’t be a financial and emotional burden to my parents, and I wouldn’t get bullied.

  I knew that being bullied wasn’t my fault, not according to all the rhetoric surrounding zero tolerance, as the vice principal spouted, but that’s not how it felt in the midst of it. It was hard not to internalize the responsibility for being treated like garbage after it became an expected part of my everyday life.

  My dreams were nightmares, but at least I could control what I fantasized about. Never in my wildest fantasies had I imagined the boy who hovered beside me now.

  “Uh, I have some questions,” I managed to sputter as we rounded the corner to the hallway where my locker stood. “Most of them have to do with how much you know about me.”

  He nodded when I looked over at him as we reached my locker, and I fumbled around on the top shelf underneath some books to pull out my ratty old string backpack, which I used for my gym clothes.

  “And I have much to tell you. My questions, however, are based in pure curiosity, and as such, not worth your time or effort to entertain.”

  What kind of school did this boy come from? I wondered. He spoke like someone’s butler in a PBS period drama.

  I took my shirt out and shoved the bag back in my locker on top of the books. Declan watched my every move.

  “Powerpuff Girls. I get to wear it while I watch everyone else exercise and play sports during gym.”

  Shrugging, I slammed the locker door shut, because there was no other way to get it to latch properly. If he didn’t know Powerpuffs, there was r
eally no explaining them.

  “You should go to class. I’ll change and be right there.”

  Somehow I knew that he wouldn’t like that idea, but I was determined not to let him get into any more trouble because of me. Everything he had done that morning, for a complete stranger, had been so much more than anyone who had known me my whole life had bothered to do.

  Corrie did what she could, but without knowing exactly what was wrong, she had little to work with, and I didn’t want her to get drawn into my personal drama unnecessarily.

  Declan followed me quietly, and I held back from asking any questions to keep him with me. We didn’t have hall passes or late passes from the office, and while some teachers were okay with being late on the first day, with our luck so far, both of us would end up back under Mr. C’s scrutiny.

  “Precalculus, room 218. I am taking a wild guess that you’re in there with me.”

  He smiled slowly, inciting a slow burn in the pit of my stomach. If I leaned into him just a few inches, our lips would meet, and the temptation was physically overpowering. While he was gorgeous, a fact confirmed by every other gaze drawn to him that day, there was something else that pulled me towards him, something more than simple lust.

  “Your wild guess is accurate. I would prefer, however, to wait for you and enter the classroom together.”

  I sighed, unwilling to let his unfortunate relationship with the vice principal deteriorate further on my account.

  “Please, Declan? I already feel guilty about everything that’s happened. I don’t know who you are or why you’re fixated on me, but I’m not worth getting in trouble over. Seriously.”

  He closed the distance between us with one step, and the clean, relaxing fragrance of a grassy field enveloped me. Before he could respond, my memory of the meadow and woods, of his sad expression in my vision pushed me to continue.

  “Who is she, and why does she want to kill us?”

 

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