by S. W. Frank
Inside, he spotted the evidence of their little business. Boxes were stacked on the dining table with cards and an order sheet which he scanned. He recognized names of rich families and gourmet bakeries even several high end restaurants. He made a mental note to keep abreast of Shanda’s clients, he told himself for safety precautions although that may have been a lie. “Mama!” he shouted.
Shanda slammed the door. “She’s not here Mr. Ghetto Ass!”
“Where is she?”
“Your mother has gone out sire,” Shanda said sarcastically and then strolled to the kitchen to check off names on an invoice with Giuseppe breathing over her shoulder. She stuck the pencil in her hair when she finished. “Carlo’s with her, so call next time.”
His forehead wrinkled. “Call?”
Shanda spun around and the pencil fell, rolled near his foot and he crushed it –on purpose. He splintered the wood into the marble. “I do not call when I want to visit my son bella. Do not have delusions that I am the calling kind!”
Shanda didn’t flinch during the tantrum. “Suit yourself,” she said and walked out the kitchen.
Giuseppe followed, talking to her back. “I do not like you lifting, let the staff work, capisce donna?”
Shanda was climbing the stairs. “Do not have any delusions that I care about what you want!”
He took the steps by twos to march on her heels through the long corridor. The soft humming of a vacuum cleaner told him they were not alone. The maid undoubtedly was listening but he did not care. Many of the staff knew Giuseppe since childhood and were accustomed to his tirades. He seizedShanda’s arm and made her halt. “You will not dictate rules with mio figlio. Carlo is not part of this game you play.”
“Game…me?” She tsked. “You really don’t get it, do you?”
“Sí, I am not dense. I have disappointed you.”
“Disappointed me, how about lied?” She jerked her arm free and entered the bedroom.
She went to slam the door but he pushed it open and stepped inside his childhood domain. Giuseppe tired of the squabble. Perhaps, he had exaggerated many things but not how much he loved her. “Ti amo. That is not a lie.” Why were her eyes watering, he wondered?
Americanos!
“I came back because of you dammit. I gave up my family. You said you wouldn’t hurt me, that’s what you said on the plane…you liar!”
Giuseppe scoffed; he had said that, hadn’t he? “I did not mean to hurt you. What I have done is hurt myself.” He shrugged. “But, the past cannot be undone. My love is unwavering bella that will remain constant.”
She sniffled. “That is not enough for me Geo. Maybe, for other women it’s okay but I can’t share…I’m greedy…I want you all to myself.”
“That I cannot promise…then I will have lied.”
“Well, I guess there’s nothing else to talk about.” She wiped her eye and examined her watery fingers. She couldn’t believe she was crying over this man. “Can you leave now so I can get dressed?”
“I will come back for Carlo.” He turned, put his hand on the doorknob and then remembered something. “Since you are doing quite well in business, I expect repayment for the damage to my car, ciao!”
“What?” Shanda asked incredulously.
Giuseppe grinned at her shocked expression. “Sí, you must take responsibility for what you break.”
“I’m not paying for anything you sonovabitch!” She shouted at his back.
Giuseppe smirked. “Oh you will pay bella. Everyone who owes me eventually settles their debts one way or another.”
CHAPTER NINE
Nico sat there oblivious to his son gulping juice from the container. Engrossed with Semira he sang Itsy Bitsy Spider in Italian as his fingers traveled up her plump neck. In a heavy bass he exclaimed, “Che hai!”
Semira’s eyes sparkled and she giggled at her silly pop.
Ari trudged through the kitchen, snatched the empty container from Aaron’s mouth and returned the bottle to the fridge. “Keep your mouth off of community items. How many times do I have to say nobody wants your backwash?”
Aaron wiped his mouth. “I don’t have germs mom.”
“We all have germs,” an irritable mother chastised before collecting a cup for her tea.
“Morning sweetheart, still not feeling well?” Nico enquired.
“Terrible.”
Nico chuckled as Aaron made horns with his fingers behind his mother’s head. “Yeah. Why don’t you go back to bed and I’ll bring you something to eat.”
Ari joined him at the table, cupping the ginger smelling brew and taking a long sip. This acting gig was rough. Gabriela was best suited for playacting. To the point was always her approach with Nico but where had that gotten her over the years? Damsel in distress worked well and that’s the role she enacted to keep Nico’s ass home for the past two days and away from temptation. Except Nico ruined the plan when he announced he had to go out of town on business but would return before Christmas. She hoped so because her parents were scheduled to arrive on Christmas Eve. “In a minute.” She smiled and waved a finger at her daughter. “Hi there sweetheart, daddy has you up early doesn’t he?”
Aaron plopped down at the table with too many waffles and sausages. “Dad cooked. I guess she smelled the food in her sleep.”
“You mean you did,” Nico corrected and removed a sausage without asking to eat. “Greedy ass.”
“Growing boys need proper nutrition,” Aaron said between a mouthful of bread drenched with cinnamon and syrup.
“Keep quoting justifications until you’re fat.”
“I work out.”
“With your mouth?”
Semira giggled and Ari shook her head. This was the norm in their house. Apparently Semira had learned this as well in the short time with her family.
Darren appeared in the doorway yawning without a shirt. His long arms gripped the frame, young muscles bulging in a miniature version of his dad. “What’s up family?”
Ari rolled her eyes at the boy. “The sky. A simple good morning will do.”
Darren’s long legs were encased in flannel pajama bottoms. He sauntered over to give his sister and mother a kiss on the cheek, in that order. “Buona famiglia mattina!”
“Morning,” Nico said rising tall above the youth by several inches. “Watch your sister boys while I put your mom back to bed.” He bent over Ari, took the cup out of her hands and placed it on the table and then hoisted her out the chair. “Bedtime love.”
Nico kissed her and there was smacking sound when their lips detached. One of their smart mouth kids said, “I’m glad I’m going away to college. I cannot wait!”
“Me either!” Nico smirked as he carried his wife out the kitchen.
Ari held on to his neck. “I thought you said you were bringing me food.”
“You’ll eat when I’m done.”
Ari’s bottom bounced as Nico ascended the stairs. Her voice was low. “I love you sweetheart.”
The hard eyes looking down were unusually tender. “Why do you love me beautiful?”
She stroked the back of Nico’s neck. “So many reasons. The list is long.”
“You’re fantastic too you know. Ti amo,” he said, nudging the door to the bedroom open with his foot and kicking it closed once they were inside.
Ari’s eyes were naughty when he bypassed the bed and placed her on the window seat cushion. He raised the hem of her gown as he slowly kneeled like a knight before his queen. She inched back when his fingers found no material obstruction and inserted with ease to find her welcoming as always. His dark head lowered after a moment and the sweetest oral kiss was bestowed upon her sensitive skin. Ari wilted from the lingual invasion. The firmness of hi
s tongue circled the roofing of her outer vaginal doors; suckling began which sent her fingers through Nico’s slick strands of hair to land on solid shoulders. There was tenderness to his delivery of pleasure, almost as if he was saying sorry without words and pled forgiveness. She’d been here before, this strange place of knowing and pretending. Once, an experienced enforcer comforted a woman who by appearances followed the law, but was lawless. Imperfections were what they shared, yet Nico never used the past to bargain away his wrongs.
She held his shoulders and closed her eyes to the sensation occurring below. The boys were actually quiet; perhaps they knew mommy needed a reprieve from snowy days and heartache. Her mind drifted through time, to an hour their love showed its face. Young, wild and carefree is what she considered herself until Nico intervened in a young woman’s path of destruction. Her fingers dug hard in muscle and bone. The silence of an action had carried on too long. She stiffened. They could not go on this way; at least she could not. Nico’s motto of ‘no regrets’ was tossed out the door. She had regrets as well as a conscience. Every saint has a past and every sinner has a future is a quote she read somewhere, but to have a future the past must be a lesson or the journey leads to nowhere. She was those women Nico saved, but she’s the one he chose to marry –twice. Sex could not bandage wounds and the time had come to let the sores air.
With determined hands, she gripped Nico’s face and brought it up to see her now, not as a damsel but a woman he'd pledged solemn vows. “Wait.”
Nico’s hands slid up her thighs and stopped at her waist. “Ari, what’s wrong?”
“Us.”
His head drooped to her breast. Nico seemed tired and sought rest. His baritone whisper asked, “What about us, love?”
“Did you think we would last?”
A silence.
Then he stood with a brooding expression, when emotionless is often what others saw, but Ari knew him better. He took a seat beside her; reclined with an exhalation as his head touched the frosted windowpane that she was certain was cold.
Ari frowned at herself for the doubts. They hadn’t spoken much about the past, sort of roared forward into the present. Marriage, two kids, a divorce, remarriage and then another child later they sat together in silence neither wanting to voice past shames.
Masculine fingers used for atrocities clasped Ari’s hand and held tight. He’d gone somewhere in the pause and when he answered his voice was solemn. “I never thought I’d live this long Ari…I never looked too far ahead and I still don’t.”
“If you were to look ahead who would you see?”
His head swiveled to gaze at his wife. “You.”
Ari closed her legs and sat upright. “I’m not that young woman anymore Nico. I’ve settled into this life with you, we’re no longer separate but partners. I thought my love was enough to heal your addiction, was I wrong?”
“Yes.”
Ari slapped his face with her free hand and he did not flinch. He released the other, maybe he sought this, maybe he enjoyed the self-flagellation but she had enough. “Wake up dammit, I love you!”
“Love doesn’t cure disease Ari and that’s what I am.”
Nico remained immobile as Ari’s rapid slaps bit skin like a thousand mating bees. His eyes blazed from the sudden reveal of a woman's pain. She called him out and made her demand known. "You better fight...fight this time Nico!"
The unspoken turned to full disclosure of the truth. “I warned you. So, stop the damn assault counselor because I never lied…not once!”
Ari’s eyes were ablaze. The young woman who agreed to love and stand by her man hadn’t fully understood then the emotional toll the years would take on her heart. “I want you to love me…and only me.”
“I do.” More strikes failed to budge a stone figure. He wanted Ari to bring the pain, whip his ass, bleed rock and crack him open. He begged for this and death at the sight of a strong woman's tear. “I’m dead Ari…I have no soul.”
“Stop saying that. Whatever lies you were told aren’t true. You’re not bad Nico…stop killing everyone who loves you.”
The jaw remained clenched. Dark eyes dulled. He stood. Ari followed suit. “Ari, don’t go there…don’t…I warn you love…keep the past closed.”
“Why not?” she asked. “Our pasts are standing in the way of a beautiful future.”
“Abbassateragazzi...standdowngirl!”
“No, not this time…not anymore.”
“Whatever is done can’t be talked undone. Leave the dead alone Ari.”
Nico’s delivery was as cold as a corpse. But, he failed to understand, their conversation wasn’t about sex anymore. They had a family and that young woman who’d sworn off commitment and enjoyed a variety of dangerous men had killed the reckless behavior on a night Nico intervened. He needed to recall; he had to understand how far they came and their destiny changed when they fell in love and had children. “When we spent time together in London and then exchanged numbers I walked away believing we’d never see each other again. The sex was great, but you were mysterious and I knew you weren’t the committal kind and neither was I. But then you suddenly appeared in New York a month later, remember that?”
“I remember,” Nico answered not liking the tale’s direction.
Ari continued. “You called that night and said you were in the area and wanted to take me out to dinner. I told you I couldn’t I had a guest. Maybe, you heard the distress call, maybe fates real because you were at my door thirty minutes later. I remember thinking, the timing was awful, but in hindsight, it was perfect. I would have gone to jail if you hadn’t given me a way out.”
Nico’s nostrils flared.
“I wasn’t going to let you in but you threatened to break down my door, remember that too?”
Nico gripped her arms. They hadn’t repeated this to anyone and she was breaking an unspoken deal, never to talk about the incident. “Silenzioso!”
Unafraid Ari refused to listen and forged ahead. “I opened the door and you saw the blood on my clothes. You didn’t ask questions, instead you stepped inside, shut the door, saw what I’d done and made it disappear. I tried to tell you what happened but you never wanted to hear the story, why is that?”
“Because the outcome would be the same. Your co-worker would still be dead. You weren’t crazy and often there’s a motive behind most things. Besides, I’m not stupid. I knew without you telling me. You spent a lot of money on expensive things and an apartment on the Upper East Side was living above your means. I study people for a living, and make it my business to know the people I deal with. I figured you liked expensive stuff and required extra financing. The Harrod’s bag was an indication. Either you were wealthy, had a benefactor or were involved in something illegal. Embezzlement is the conclusion I came to after striking the other two options off the list after more investigation.”
Ari shook her head. “Dan attempted to blackmail me that night. He said if I cooperated and gave him a little attention every so often he wouldn’t rat me out to the firm. I killed him not because I was afraid of going to jail but because he had the audacity to think sleeping with him was better than prison.”
“I’m not surprised. You weren’t a push-over then and you’re not one now.”
She stared blankly at his chest, thinking about the weeks after and Nico’s actions. “You cleaned up my mess Nico. You stayed to walk me through not getting caught. Go to work, act normal and when the news breaks about your co-worker’s disappearance and embezzling company funds, act shocked, talk about the scandal with the office gossips and then return home. I did all that for three weeks. Every day I came home, you were waiting with dinner and conversation about nothing related to murder. Soon I started to believe I never killed anyone.”
Nico hunched down to look her in the eye. “Ari, you’re not me. You had remorse. You cried yourself to sleep. I couldn’t leave…I wouldn’t let you rot in jail then and I still won’t as long as I’m alive.”
>
Watery eyes grew wide. “I fell in love with you Nico. In spite of everything you told me, I did. Not because you helped me but because I saw a man with so much love who believed his destiny was to remain loveless.”
“I lost my soul a long time ago Ari, you haven’t.”
Dainty palms turned crimson as her hands balled into small fists. Violent and impotent she shook them in his face. “Don’t saythat to me…me…because I know different. I have my skeletons just like you. You’ve relapsed with this addiction because you don’t believe in your worth. Take my soul Nico because I’m not letting go. We’ve made a family and I know you love us…that’s why you have to fight your afflictions…for once in your life…choose your wife and children dammit…choose us!”
Nico groaned, his chest heaved and the brute of a man who endured unspeakable abuse as a child seized his wife in a tight embrace. “I’ll fight love…I’ll fight…I choose you sweetheart…I do…I choose our family!” he said putting his chin on her hair. He closed his eyes, steeling himself. He had this last job to do. He needed a female to carry it out and Bianca was the only person he trusted to help get it done. The sexual relationship was over he decided days ago before Ari’s ultimatum. There was too much dark in his life and it was time to claim the light. He released Ari to retrieve an early Christmas gift hidden in the corner of the closet. He emerged holding the large canvass covered with muslin. Slowly he removed the cloth and Ari gasped. “I planned to give this to you on Christmas day, but I want you to have it now.”
Ari covered her mouth. She was taken aback by the beauty of the artwork. The drying oils were a depiction of their life and turmoil. At the base of the painting a dark man stood in a sea of black and red swirls. When her eye settled, she noticed the delicate lines were actually bodies.
Dark horror is what the figure represented but an outstretched hand reaching upward was his plea to be pulled out. The blinding light above the figure’s head is what caused tears to flow from a wife’s eyes. An illuminated woman clutched an infant to her breast with one hand and attached to her side like wings were identical boys, Aaron and Darren. The woman’s other hand reached downward to the black figure offering him their light.
