Still confused, I decide to see if Loki is willing to reschedule my appointment. As much as I want to get it done, I’m not in the right headspace to lay there, unmoving, while he does the finishing touches he said I needed. I send him a text then head into the kitchen to fix myself something to eat.
Loki
We’re in church, going over everything, when my phone chimes. Since Lilli and Gia are out and about, we’ve got our phones on hand. I glance down to see CeeCee’s text and frown, wondering if she’s okay. I quickly respond that I’ll call her later to set something up even though I think I’ll drive over to see her instead.
“Everything okay, brother?” Poseidon asks when he sees me responding to the text.
“Not really sure, Pres,” I admit. “CeeCee wants to reschedule her last appointment.”
“I may know something about that,” Specks interjects, looking over at Poseidon. At his nod, he continues. “Since we all know it’s only a matter of time before you make her your old lady, I ran a background check.” At my raised brow and glare, he puts his hands up. “Whoa, brother, it’s not like that. You know we decided that we were going to start doing that to prevent any shit like what Lillianna and Gianna went through with their exes.” I nod then motion for him to continue. “I know you’ve said that she went into the foster care system when she was six, correct?”
“Yeah, what of it? I’ve met her foster mom and also her foster sister, who’s also her best friend.”
“Well, it seems that her biological mother isn’t all that great, which we’re all well aware of because of the injuries CeeCee sustained as a child. Anyhow, her name popped up. Seems that she’s got cancer and is now in hospice. Your woman may have been informed of that news, brother. Even with what she did to her as a child, that might have thrown her for a loop, y’know?”
“Maybe so. I’ll check with her once we’re done. By the way, Kaya used the program you created on another new client. Have you got the patent shit started?” I ask.
“Already filed. Waiting on the official paperwork so we can start marketing it. Thinking once we do, we should consider making a donation each time we get a sale to a group that helps abused kids,” he replies.
I look around the table to see my brothers nodding. “Let’s vote on it,” Poseidon decrees. “All in favor, say aye.” The ‘ayes’ ring throughout the room and I watch as Specks notes the decision. “Okay, Specks, you’re charged with finding the best place for our donations. Get the information and bring it back to the table.”
“That works,” Specks murmurs.
Business carries on; Orion and Brooks got another skip trace in that brought quite a a few pennies to add to our coffers, the shop has increased walk-in traffic since Kaya and Canyon joined us, the auto shop has a backlog of both bikes and cars. Sounds like payday is going to be nice once again. “Anyone that can spare some time to help us clear out the bikes, that’d be great,” Atlas states.
“Since my afternoon has freed up, I’ll gladly turn a wrench for a bit,” I reply.
“Thanks, brother,” he says, giving me a chin lift. I’ll stop by CeeCee’s after putting in a few hours. She needs to know I’m in her corner and have her back no matter what.
Several hours later, with most of us helping Atlas get a handle on the backlog, I head back to the clubhouse to get cleaned up before I go see CeeCee. I’m worried since she wouldn’t answer my call earlier. I suspect she’s in her head right now and while I can’t remotely understand what she endured as a child, I don’t want her by herself. One quick shower later, I head back out then over to her favorite restaurant where I pick up takeout for dinner. With everything packed safely in my saddlebags, I make my way to her house.
For the first time in my life, I’m unsure of the reception I’ll receive. Pulling into her driveway, I see that her car is there, but Patsy’s isn’t. Knocking on the door, I wait long minutes before she finally opens it. Seeing her swollen eyes, I realize that she probably heard about her mother, so I gently move her inside then once the door is closed, I hug her tightly. “You okay?” I ask, kissing her forehead.
“How did you know I needed you?” she replies, her voice breaking. I can feel my shirt getting wet and know she’s crying once again.
Picking her up, I carry her over to the couch then cradle her in my arms before I try to stem the flow of tears. “I knew something was off because you’ve been excited about finishing up the tattoo. We were in church when your text came through and while this may tick you off, Specks shared what was going on.”
“How on earth does he know?” she inquires.
“Because with all the shit that Lilli and Gia went through, Specks now runs a background check on anyone we get involved with apparently,” I reply. “Since I’ve made no secret about the fact that I want you as my old lady, he went ahead and ran one on you. Your mother’s name came up along with the fact she’s in hospice. My question to you is, are you okay? What do you need from me?” I know she’s not okay based on her tears, but right now, I’ll do whatever she needs me to do in order for her to feel safe.
“Just hold me. I don’t know how I feel about it, Loki. I-I called Momma M when I found out. Part of me feels as though I should go see her so she can see that she didn’t break me, but another part thinks that she doesn’t deserve that knowledge, you know?”
“I can’t pretend to know how you feel, Angel. Her behavior toward her only child is something I’ll never comprehend as kids are a blessing, yet she treated you as though you were a curse.” Even as much of a spaz as I was growing up thanks to my ADHD, my parents were always loving toward me. I can’t think of a time that I really got into trouble that required any sort of discipline, so knowing that her mother willfully hurt her ‘just because’ is beyond my comprehension.
“According to her, I was a curse,” she murmurs against my chest. “I ruined her life. I ruined her body. I ruined everything, according to her.” My heart breaks for what she endured so I pull her close and hold her as tears continue to wrack her body.
“I’ve got you, CeeCee. Never letting you go if you’ll have me,” I promise. “Want you as my old lady then my wife. I want it all with you.” Is it too soon? My heart and mind say it’s not, and she needs to know where she stands with me.
“Not sure I want kids, Loki,” she warns. My heart breaks at her words, but it won’t stop me from keeping her as mine.
“Not a dealbreaker, Angel,” I tell her, smoothing the hair away from her face. “While I’d love to see you carrying a baby we’ve made, if it’s just us and any other pets we end up adopting, that’s fine too.”
“You see us going that far?” she asks, still sniffling a bit from her crying jag.
“I love you, CeeCee. And as I just told you, I see you as not only my old lady, but someday as my wife. You’re it for me,” I admit, using my T-shirt to swipe at her face. Right now, she’s a beautiful hot mess but she’s perfect for me and that’s all I want.
I feel the shudder course through her before she looks up at me and says, “I love you too, Loki.”
Chapter Fourteen
Loki
“Did you eat? I brought food,” I say. Even with her eyes all swollen and red, she’s still the prettiest woman I’ve ever seen.
“I could eat,” she admits.
“Then let’s get you fed. Hop up, sweetheart.” I stand and move over to where the bag of food I brought in was dropped so I could hold her. Carrying it over to the table, I quickly pull everything out while she grabs drinks and paper plates.
“It looks so good. And now I’m starving.” She giggles when her stomach rumbles, which has me chuckling. We sit in companionable silence, the only noise the rustling sounds of the containers as we refill our plates. “I think I should go see her. Let her know she didn’t destroy me, you know?”
Personally, I wouldn’t give that piece of shit bitch the time of day. Instead of saying that, I reply, “Whatever you think you need to do, I’ll support y
ou, Angel.”
“How did I get so damn lucky?” she muses. “Things like this don’t happen for people like me.”
“Why shouldn’t they? You’re beautiful, caring, loving. I’m glad no one captured your heart before we met.” Despite everything she endured as a child, she didn’t become a bitter person. Yes, she’s shy and introverted, but only around those she doesn’t know well.
“Sweet talker,” she teases. I’m glad to see her mood has improved. Her face still shows the evidence of her earlier tears, but her eyes are sparkling again as she jokes around with me.
“Only for you,” I reply. “And don’t let that get out since I’m a biker, after all.”
“How are Thelma and Louise?” she asks. I let her change the subject, not wanting to push the issue so instead, I regale her with their latest shenanigans. They’ve completely ‘renovated’ their new habitat, something that has her laughing when I pull up the pictures. Gone is the orderly environment that Atlas and I built. Now, they’ve got little hidey-holes in the bedding, they’ve nudged the sunning rocks together, and they regularly hide their treats. Whether that’s from me or each other, I have no clue. I just like their unique personalities.
“I think it’s neat how animals develop such unique personalities, don’t you?” she muses. “The boys are the same way. They both still like to perch on my computer monitor, but after a bit, Moose will fly over and sit on the perch I put up next to the window and engage in a monologue with the birds who are outside at the bird feeder. Sometimes I make up conversations out loud depending on the sound of his chirp.”
I chuckle at her visual. “I bet they each have their ‘own voice’ too, don’t they?”
Giggling, she nods. “What are you doing out there?” she asks, her voice lower and kind of squeaky. “Us? Why, we’re partaking of the finest bird seed,” she replies, her voice now high and feminine. By now, I’m laughing as she mimics the things that ‘the boys’ will say, not just to the birds outside but also to her. I know they’ll eventually start speaking and look forward to when they say their first words, much like a parent does with a child.
Seeing that we’re both finished eating, I stand and clear the table then help her with the dishes. “How about we just go chill, Angel? Curl up and watch mindless television.” I need to hold her, give her a safe place to break down more if she needs to.
“I was thinking of taking a bubble bath,” she admits. I watch her face pinken before she asks, “Would you like to join me?”
I’m a shower kind of guy. Get in, do my thing, rinse, get out. But for her, I’ll always give her what she needs. “I’d love to, sweetheart. You go get it started while I lock up then check to make sure the boys are good for the night.”
She leans up to kiss me. “Thank you. I needed this, needed you, tonight. Love you.”
“Love you more, Angel. Whatever is in my power to do for you, that’s what I plan to do as long as I draw breath.”
“I don’t think I’ve taken a bath since I was a kid,” I admit once we’re snuggled under the covers. The past hour was relaxing as hell so while I took it for her, I ended up benefiting as well since my shoulders aren’t as tense. While we’ve had a few steamy showers, tonight wasn’t about that and I find myself perfectly okay with that fact. Even now with her wrapped around me, despite the constant desire I have for her, I’m more interested in holding her and talking than sex. She needs this more than either of us need a physical release. Tomorrow morning may be another story, however.
“I like taking them at least once a week,” she says. “There’s something about soaking in a tub with bath salts that carries the day’s stress away.”
“You needed it today, Angel,” I murmur before kissing her temple. She fits so perfectly in my arms it’s as if we’ve been together for years. That probably makes it sound as if we’re in a rut, which we most definitely aren’t. I think it speaks to how well our souls have meshed.
“I guess so, Loki.” She pauses for a second then asks, “Were you serious when you said if we didn’t have kids that would be okay?” I can hear the worry in her tone, but want to make sure she understands that at the end of the day, I just want her. Whether or not we have kids no matter how that comes about, naturally or by fostering then adopting, I don’t give that first fuck.
“Told you, CeeCee, having kids isn’t a deal breaker. Would I love to see you swollen with a child we’ve created from the love we share? I’d be lying if I said no because the thought of that is intoxicating to me. But, if you truly don’t want to have children, I’m okay with that. If you’d rather foster or adopt, we can do that as well. Hell, we can do it in addition to having our own, or we can remain a couple, a duet. I want you, plain and simple.”
CeeCee
As he talks, I relax further into his embrace. Hearing him say that I’m enough for him settles something deep inside my soul. I never thought I was enough after my mother’s abysmal treatment of me. I know I went through therapy, but I was a kid with a child’s rationale. Now that I’m an adult, I think I need to see a therapist as a grown woman just to make sure there are no other lingering issues that I was too young to relate to, such as having kids. “Thank you for saying that, Loki. I’m going to find a therapist so I can address this since as a little girl, having children of my own wasn’t on my radar at all.” He chuckles slightly while squeezing me to let me know he understands.
“I wouldn’t think they would be, sweetheart. I’ve got some time tomorrow if you want to finish up your tat. Just let me know. Shouldn’t take too long at all.” I love that he’s so easy going about everything. Don’t get me wrong, he can definitely be intense but with me, he’s laid back while still being protective.
I mentally go through what I’ve got for the week. I busted my ass to get all my work current, so I should be good for a few days. I’ve found that the day after, I don’t feel as comfortable sitting at my desk for long periods of time. “That sounds good to me. I’m sorry I didn’t come in today.”
He turns my face so I’m looking up at him and kisses me. It’s not a long kiss, but the sweetness behind it brings tears to my eyes. “Sweetheart, you don’t need to apologize. I just hate that you were so upset. When you go to see your mother, do you want me to come with you?” The thought that he’s willing to put himself in the line of fire is humbling. My mother is not a nice person. Momma M and Patsy don’t know it, but I ran into her a few years ago. Her vicious, vile comments she hurled at me wounded my soul, something I thought wouldn’t be possible. I didn’t let her see it, not wanting to give her the satisfaction that she got under my skin, but I came home and cried for hours.
“I think I might need you to be there,” I admit. “But, Loki, she’s extremely unpleasant. I suspect her illness has exacerbated that fact, so I’ll understand if you decide not to come with me.”
“By your side, CeeCee. Thick or thin, good or bad, I’ll be by your side.” He turns so we’re facing each other then cups my face in his hand. His calloused touch is gentle as his thumb swipes across my cheek. “I love you for who you are, sweetheart. We’re a team now, a partnership. Someday, you’re going to wear my rings, and my ink as I’ll wear you on me.”
“Your ink?” I inquire. “I don’t understand.”
“I’ll put a tattoo on you that says ‘Loki’s Angel’ and have Kaya put one on me with whatever you want it to say,” he replies.
I grin at him when he says that because his idea for wings on my tattoo to cover my scars already kind of says I’m his. “So, I could have ‘CeeCee’s Savior’?” I teasingly ask.
“If that’s what you want, Angel,” he replies, winking at me. “Although I think you saved yourself, sweetheart.”
“We’ll think of something, I’m sure.” My mind wanders again to my mother. I really don’t want to see her, yet I know that for my own peace of mind, I will. I just hope I’m strong enough to handle whatever shit she tries to throw at me.
Chapter Fifteen
/> Loki
Despite CeeCee’s distress, we eventually did make love last night. I didn’t expect it, I wouldn’t have pushed for it either, but she said she wasn’t allowing her mother to steal anything else from her. While watching a movie, she started playing then one thing led to another. Lying here now with her asleep in my arms, I marvel that this woman loves me. Not that I think I’m unlovable, that’s not the case at all. It’s more that I never expected to meet my one. I was truthful, however, when I told her that if it ends up just being us, I was good. Because I am. As much as I would love kids, our kids, I’d rather have her, plain and simple.
“Mmm, good morning,” she says, her voice husky with sleep.
“Morning, Angel,” I reply, leaning in to kiss her. She tries to pull away, but I won’t let her. “Baby, I had my mouth on your pussy last night while you sucked my dick. Do you honestly think I care about morning breath?” I whisper. “Because I don’t give that first flying fuck.”
She tries to glare at me but ends up giggling when I start placing open-mouth kisses on her face and chest. “Fine, fine,” she mock grumbles, reaching up to pull me to her. One soft sweet kiss later, I’m rolling her so she’s on top of me, her hot core against my pulsing morning wood.
“Now, before we head down to the shop, we need to take care of this,” I tease, thrusting up.
“Insatiable. You’re turning me into a wanton hussy,” she claims, sliding onto my dick. As her heat engulfs me, I lose all sense of time.
Loki's Angel: A Poseidon's Warriors MC novel - Book 3 Page 11
