"We need a better name than that. Transition matrix tech is such a mouthful."
Paul grinned, easily falling into their familiar banter. "How about ‘transport tech' or TMT?"
"Remind me not to let you name anything. Now, back to more important things."
Van instructed the tech to initiate the sequence and watched the front viewer, magnified to a particular spot on a small, floating chunk of rock. It took a few seconds, but then the metal cylinder slowly materialized over a thousand kilometers away. Van had secretly worried the process would deform the object, a frightful omen for someone unlucky enough to stand on the dais.
The few techies on the bridge cheered, but she quickly squelched the enthusiasm. "All right, people. It's one thing to send an inanimate object from here to there, but the real test is in the retrieval. Commander Byra, would you do the honors?"
"Cheerfully."
Van smiled as she watched him. Paul seemed so happy with such a simple task and her smile slowly evaporated. She felt tears prick her eyes as she considered how hard his life was before now. Farming Celestas land was an unforgiving enterprise, the soil rarely yielding enough to make the backbreaking labor worthwhile. Then he'd lost his entire family to Gothoan invaders, receiving a permanent reminder each time he looked in a mirror. She tracked the scar on his face with her eyes. Barely a man, he'd almost died during that attack and lost everything that mattered. When he was finally healthy enough to leave the battlefield hospital, he'd already been gang-pressed into military service. Though the choice to enlist hadn't been his, he'd served honorably and Van wouldn't know what to do without him.
"Transfer back to the ship is successful, Captain. The tech says the object is fully intact."
"Fine," she said softly, surreptitiously clearing her throat. "Have someone run a microscopic analysis. Let's make sure it's really unaltered before we send a person through."
"Sure thing."
Facing forward, she instructed the navigator to resume their previous course. Pandora broke away from the asteroid field and the front portal cleared, presenting the depths of space. They travelled at a leisurely pace within the solar system, using only sublight that offered an amazing view but she wasn't interested in the scenery. Van was more curious concerning her uncharacteristic bout of sentimentality. She and Paul had worked together for a long time. He was like family, but she didn't remember ever being so mushy about his past before.
Maybe that's what love did to a person.
Her eyes widened and she swallowed hard as the full impact of her thoughts struck home. Van tensed and her hands fisted, but the expected sense of panic never materialized. If anything, a quiet acceptance permeated her soul and for the briefest instant, she felt lighter than air. Then the questions came, flooding her consciousness. Was she sure what she felt for Cade was love? She had no basis for comparison, having never felt the emotion. Oh, she loved Paul and her job, but that was different.
What if Cade didn't feel the same way? Just because she was physically attracted didn't mean she'd want anything long-term.
Long-term? What was she thinking? Van didn't do long-term relationships of any kind.
The previously anticipated reaction finally happened and she felt her breathing come fast and shallow. Her hands started to shake and she felt sweat break out over her body. Feeling sick, she told herself to breathe, but everything seemed out of focus. Van mumbled something about having work waiting in her office and stumbled from the bridge.
The doors had barely closed before she started pacing her office like a caged tiger, trying to convince herself it wasn't true. She couldn't be in love. Love was for suckers, people who deluded themselves into believing in happily ever after.
Van stopped in mid-step, trying to think things through. Maybe it wasn't really love. Maybe she was just really, really sexually attracted to Cade. That was probably it. It was just a bad case of lust. Van just needed to get hold of her libido and not do anything stupid in front of Cade.
Since avoiding Cade completely was off the table, she'd just have to get control of her raging libido. She planned to spend the next few hours focusing on boring Coalition paperwork and reinforcing her willpower. By the time she had to show up for dinner, Van intended to be back to her normal solitary self.
She checked the chronometer, dismayed to see that only four hours remained until dinner. Why did there have to be so many meals in one day?
WHEN VAN ARRIVED for dinner, Cade surprised her with a dirty martini. Although she personally compared the Earth concoction to the taste of rocket fuel, she'd noticed Van drinking them at the banquet.
"Thank you." Van frowned and looked around the room. "I thought we were having dinner."
"We are, but I thought we could relax for a few minutes first. Come, sit down with me."
Cade led her into the sitting area. The curved sofa was the only large piece of furniture and she waited for Van to choose a spot before sitting a couple of feet away. She wanted to be close enough to encourage an intimate atmosphere without encroaching on Van's personal space. Deeply interested in pursuing a personal relationship, Cade intended to take things slowly. To catch her, she couldn't let Van know she was pursuing.
"How was your first day at the helm?"
"Fine." Van nodded once and took a long taste of her drink.
Not good, Cade thought. Monosyllabic answers. She could sympathize with Van's unease, having felt the same way at lunch. Yet despite both their discomfort at the noon meal, they'd reached out to one another. Clearly, Van had time to pull away again, but Cade wasn't going to let her go too far. She smiled and shifted to her side, facing Van and drawing one knee up between them as she leaned back against the sofa. The relaxed posture moved her a little closer without making it obvious.
Cade sipped her juice, trying to think of something to break the ice. "How did the test go? Did the transition matrix function properly?"
Talk of such mundane things seemed the right approach. Van's tension dissipated. "Surprisingly, there weren't any problems. I had one of the engineers run a particle scan after we retrieved the container and it checked out all right."
"Why is that so shocking? You step onto the platform at the planetary transfer stations without a second thought."
"True," Van said, after taking another healthy swig of her drink, "but those machines are hard-wired into a stationary system on a much larger scale. There are tons of safety measures in place and staff on hand around the clock to monitor the slightest variance."
"I'm sure the Alaran and Coalition scientists have taken every precaution, Van. I don't think engineers would've installed the unit onto our fleet vessels if they weren't sure it was safe."
"Maybe, but we don't have anyone permanently assigned to that station unless the system is in use. That means there's no one around to notice any abnormalities. Right now, we barely even have a skeleton crew, much less someone to keep an eye on things."
She seemed really concerned and Cade sought a way to reassure her. "There's nothing to say a captain can't reorder her crew as she sees fit. Once your people arrive onboard, you could make the transition station a permanent post."
"I hadn't thought of that. Maybe I will, thanks."
Taking her empty glass, Cade stood and offered her a refill. "Are you hungry," she asked, walking over to the kitchenette.
"Famished. What are we having?" Van started to get up, but Cade stopped her.
"You can stay there. I thought it would be nice if we could be a little less formal for dinner. It's nothing fancy."
Van's expression tightened again and Cade thought she detected a hint of panic, but Van followed her suggestion and leaned back against the sofa. "Sounds good to me."
Cade retrieved a platter of sliced meats and vegetables from the warmer and another piled high with Thuban flatbread. She thought Van looked a little tired and wanted her to unwind and enjoy her meal. As the evening progressed, she kept the conversation focused on everyday topics such as ship's op
erations and Van's latest mission to patrol the sector's outer border. Hours later, Cade glanced at her chronometer and couldn't believe how late it was.
"I should probably let you get some sleep."
Van didn't seem very enthusiastic and Cade realized how nice it had been for both of them to just sit and talk without any pressure, but it was time to say goodnight. Now she had to figure out how to forward her agenda without completely scaring Van away.
"I really enjoyed dinner with you tonight." Cade kept her tone soft and held Van's eyes as they stood by the door.
"Uh, yeah. Me too."
"I'll see you for breakfast?"
Van stammered and said, "I might have to be on the bridge early."
"Now, none of that." She took Van's hand, feeling her tremble slightly. "You know the rules of diplomatic contact."
"C...contact? But Cade, it's not like we don't know each other so do the rules really apply to us?"
It was a perfect opening and she couldn't resist. Cade smiled and said, "I couldn't agree more. They don't."
She bent down slowly, giving Van plenty of time to pull away if that was what she wanted. When she didn't, Cade kissed her gently. She stepped closer and slid her arms around Van's waist, concerned she might suddenly change her mind and back away. Instead, her lips opened and Van's tongue touched hers. The kiss deepened and Cade moaned at the heady sensations spiraling through her body.
Van's fingers threaded her hair and tugged her closer. Cade had intended to woo her gently, to prove to her over time that the universe wouldn't end if they were together, but the taste of Van's lips made her forget all that. She lost track of everything but the feel of Van's body pressed tightly against her own. Strong hands roamed over her back, stoking the fire and Cade wanted to feel Van under her.
She kept her hold on Van but started in the direction of the bedroom, encouraging her to walk backward slowly. Van broke the kiss and took the skin of Cade's throat into her mouth, sucking lightly. Cade gasped and stumbled a little but they finally crossed the threshold. Hands pulled at the hem of her shirt, one slid underneath to touch her stomach. Cade's muscles clenched, driving her desire up another notch. Now beside the bed, she reached for the front closure of Van's uniform.
Unexpectedly, Van grasped her hands to stop her. "I can't, I'm sorry."
"I know you want me. Why are you resisting?"
The apprehension in the green eyes faded. "Because if we do this, I'm not going to be able to walk away."
"Good, I don't want you to walk away. Don't you know how I feel about you, how much I care?"
Vulnerability wasn't an emotion a Coalition commander did very well and Cade was no exception. The admission cost her, but was well worth the price when Van relented. Silently, she reached for the bottom of Cade's shirt again and slid it over her head. Her eyes fixated on Cade's breasts, pupils dilated and her breath came in short bursts.
"You're so beautiful."
"You've seen it before," Cade pointed out shyly.
Van's gaze met hers. "Not like this. Before it was instinct and I was half asleep."
"And now?"
"Now, I want to remember every second, every touch and every taste."
Cade had no words to respond so she did the only thing that she could think of. She kissed her. Clothing disappeared and Van pulled back the covers, lying on the sheets to wait for Cade. When she settled down onto Van, the warm breath against her neck caused her to shiver. Van's body was soft but strong, yielding as Cade pressed down from above. Her scent drew Cade in and the love she felt seized her, driving the breath from her lungs. She took a shuddering breath in reaction to such a powerful emotion and kissed Van again.
Van surged up against her, returning the kiss, never once showing signs of hesitation. The contact gentle and unhurried, Cade poured all of her heart into the caress and Van responded. Cade's tongue stroked along the soft upper lip before nipping and kissing her way to Van's neck. She touched the small, firm breasts for the first time, feeling the nipples harden against her palm before she took one into her mouth. Groaning, Van arched her back and placed a hand behind Cade's head, encouraging firmer contact.
Her thighs parted as Van opened to her. Fingers tangled in her hair urging her lower and Cade released her breast. Brushing her skin lightly, Cade explored the body beneath her. Unhurried in her lovemaking she sought only to release the truth of her feelings without words, tasting as she slipped farther down until she rested between Van's legs. No thoughts remained to her except rampant, hungry desire.
"Cade."
The single word, spoken so breathlessly, caused a rush of desire that Cade felt in the form of moisture at her core. Gently, she brushed her fingers through the obvious signs of Van's pleasure, spreading her moisture over sensitive flesh. Cries of arousal issued from her throat as she pressed against Cade, her fingers tightening on her shoulders as Cade nipped her thigh. One finger slipped inside and she heard Van gasp. Cade lowered her head and tasted Van for the first time, moaning in need. Caressing with her tongue, she moved suggestively over the tender knot of flesh at the apex. Van began to shudder, her head moving from side to side.
Her cries, tremors and taste began to overwhelm Cade and she found herself moving against Van's leg. Unconsciously, she mimicked the synchronous rhythm of the light thrusting against her mouth. Van's body suddenly went rigid with the intensity of her climax and Cade was helpless to resist. She joined her in that infinite moment of ecstasy.
For long hours, they made love to each other, giving and receiving with equal ardor. When Van finally fell asleep, she lay curled against Cade with her arms holding tightly. Cade didn't know what tomorrow would bring, but she would do everything in her power to keep Van beside her. It wouldn't be easy and she acknowledged the possibility that Van would withdraw. Cade had never felt like this for anyone and she vowed not to give up. No matter what.
Chapter Fifteen
VAN SAT QUIETLY in her command chair though internally, her heart ricocheted randomly around her ribcage. She'd awakened snuggled against Cade's naked body, one hand trapped between powerful thighs. Managing to extricate herself without waking the other woman, Van had escaped to the safety of her own quarters. Yet after a shower and cup of coffee, she had to admit she was more confused than ever.
Loving Cade was like nothing she'd ever before experienced. The strength of the desire to return to her bed left Van reeling. It was so hard to admit her true feelings, even to herself, but she'd known she couldn't share the morning meal with Cade. The thought of food made her feel sick so she'd reported to duty early. Cade had arrived an hour later, shortly after the day crew, and taken her customary seat to Van's right. She didn't mention Van's absence from her cabin, for which Van was eternally grateful.
"Helm, what's our position?" Van asked more for something to do than anything.
"One point four light-years from Celestas, Captain."
Van huffed in irritation. They weren't quite halfway to Psmanth and she chaffed at the delay. She needed time to herself to think and that wasn't possible with Cade aboard. She wondered if Cade would permit her to use the ramjet engines. After all, they needed to test the FTL drive, didn't they? Van glanced at Cade from the corner of her eye and dismissed the notion. The shortest burn would send them hurtling out of the system, far beyond their destination. Even if it didn't, she wanted to be with Cade, although it was driving her crazy.
Push, pull...back and forth. Van needed to make up her mind. Either she loved Cade or she didn't. But how could what she felt be love? She hadn't really known Cade for very long.
Regardless of the internal struggle, Van feared she already had the answer. She just wasn't ready to face the truth.
"Captain," a man whose name she didn't know spoke from a nearby station. "Long-range sensors are picking up another ship on an intercept course."
"How long range?" When he blinked in confusion, she clarified by asking, "How far away are they, Lieutenant?"
"Five million kilometers."
"That is certainly a long way," Cade supplied helpfully.
"It is. I'm impressed the sensors can detect anything at that distance. Are you sure it's a craft, Lieutenant, and not a floating piece of space rock?"
"No mistake, ma'am. It's definitely a vessel, a big one if my instruments are right."
"Well let's hope they are since they're brand new." Van considered what to do next, pleased that Cade didn't jump in and try to run the show. At their current distance, the vessel didn't present an immediate concern. "Try hailing them."
A few moments later he said, "No response."
"If I may?" Van nodded for Cade to continue. "Maybe their systems aren't as advanced. It could be an old cargo barge or something."
"Good point. Notify me when they're within conventional communications range."
"Aye, Captain."
Van turned her gaze forward again. The welcome distraction hadn't lasted nearly long enough. She wondered if she could turn the bridge over to Cade and retreat to her own office, as Paul had done. Probably not. If she tried it, one of two things would happen. Either Cade would remind her she had passenger status on this trip or Cade would remember how much she liked being in charge and take over completely.
Why did Van have to like bossy women?
"Van."
Still frowning, she looked over and met Cade's gaze. She had a smile on her full lips and the artificial lights shone off her indigo hair. Van longed for another taste of Cade's kisses and forgot about wanting space.
"What?"
"I said we need to talk. You can't avoid me forever."
Van glanced around, sure she would find the crew listening but no one could've heard Cade's low voice. "I know, but now isn't the time."
"Then perhaps lunch in my quarters will provide..."
"Captain."
Startled, and annoyed for being so, Van looked at the crewman. "What is it, Lieutenant? I told you to let me know when they're in conventional hailing range."
"That's just it, ma'am. They are." He looked slightly panicked.
Destination Alara Page 15
