When I got to the set, it was alive with activity. Set dressers were putting on the final touches, the director and producers were in a heated conversation, and all manner of other people were running around and completing their jobs before the shooting began.
Dan, Court, Mary Alice, Allison, and Lucas were standing in a loose group off to the side, out of the way, and talking. I took a deep breath and headed in their direction. They were the people I’d be doing most of the scenes from here on out with, and there was no need to be nervous. I knew them all and liked them. Despite the fact that most everything I had shot had just been me and Dan since the season began didn’t mean that I wouldn’t be welcomed into their huddle.
Dan’s face lit up when he saw me, his trademark open grin blooming across his face. “Aaron, dahling!” He called out, putting on airs and making everyone laugh. “What’s up, man?”
I grinned in response. “Nothing much. Waiting around. How is everyone?”
There were the expected murmurs of “good” and “ready to get started.” Lucas shifted casually away from the wall, meandered just a little closer, so that when I stopped beside the group, I was right next to him. His gaze caught mine briefly, his blue eyes betraying his emotions for a moment, before his expression settled back into one of polite neutrality. I knew I didn’t imagine the slight and subtle shoulder bump. Nor was it an accident the way the back of his hand brushed against mine. I fought not to react because we hadn’t talked about anything, and he’d been silent for more than four days.
Whatever else might have happened was interrupted when Connie called for places, her impatient voice ringing out above the din. I was glad she was back for this episode, because I really liked working with her. I started to move toward the set along with everyone else, when I felt hot breath on my ear.
“You look fuckable in that uniform.”
Years of practice let me keep the shiver from escaping at the seductive whisper. Fuck. Why’d he have to be so sexy? I shook my head and walked a little faster. I was fine with our encounter being a one-night stand. I was not going to play games. That wasn’t my style, and I wasn’t going to put up with it.
The day’s shoot went well, even if it was long. Despite the scene being nothing more than about ten minutes of airtime, whenever there was a large cast of characters things were bound to go wrong. Someone always inevitably messed up a line and things had to be reset. There were a lot of extras in the scene, bustling around, and shit happened. MA and Allison caught a case of the giggles, and they almost had it under control when Dan broke and joined in. Connie called for one of her ten-minute breaks so the wayward laughers could get themselves under control. The day moved along much the same, and it was nearly eight before Connie finally called it and said she had enough to piece something together.
I could tell by her hint of a smile that she was pleased with what she’d gotten that day. I had no doubt the final result would be perfect.
I was grateful for the opportunity to get out of these clothes and these shoes. When everyone started to disperse, I made a beeline for my dressing room. Court and I tried to give each other space to change in peace, and I’d seen him heading in that direction already. But today, I didn’t care. I wanted to get changed and get out of here. I felt emotional in a way I couldn’t understand and I just wanted the comfort of home and my cat.
I kept my head down while walking down the corridor. My need to get home was my entire focus, and I didn’t want to be waylaid by well-meaning but irritating people. My focus was so intent on my shoes, that when I felt a hand grab my arm and tug, I actually yelped. I listed sideways into the pressure and only glanced up at the last second.
Lucas.
He pulled me right into his dressing room, his gaze hot, hungry, and fixed on my mouth. I sucked in a breath, my blood heating at his stare. With his focus entirely on me, he shut the door with a snap and then herded me against it. His body was like a furnace, further serving to ratchet up my arousal, and when he pressed himself along the entire length of me, I actually gasped.
Lucas took it as an invitation to seal his lips to mine. I hesitated for the briefest of seconds before I melted against him. I lifted my arms to circle his shoulders and buried my fingers in his hair. What the man could do with his mouth was sinful, and within seconds, he had me panting and writhing against him, desperate to get closer and needing more.
It was that feeling that actually got my brain to engage. I let my hands drift down over his shoulders and to his chest, and then, with a strength I didn’t know I possessed, shoved him off of me.
He stumbled back, and his gaze snapped to mine. He was breathing heavily, and his expression was full of arousal mixed with confusion.
I took a deep breath and leaned more firmly against the door. “Okay,” I said slowly, not taking my eyes off him. “Hi. Wonderful greeting. But we’re not doing this.”
Lucas’s gaze wasn’t really focused, and he shook his head. “What?”
I had wanted to have a conversation about where we stood and what was going on between us. I’d wanted to take it slow and really try to feel out where Lucas’s head was at before jumping into the deep conversation. But with the way he was looking at me, like he wanted to eat me alive and couldn’t understand why I didn’t want to be dinner, I knew it was better to just dive in.
“If you want to keep seeing me, we can do that. But if you’re going to ignore me and then attack whenever you’re in the mood? Nope. Not going to happen.”
Lucas’s body gave a tiny jerk, and his eyes cleared in an instant. He took a deep breath and then another. When he focused on me again, I saw suspicion in their bright blue depths. “I told you that—”
I held up a hand to cut him off, but I kept my voice soft because I could see the anguish in his face. “Lucas, I’m not going to…” I took a deep breath, trying to sort out my jumbled thoughts. “Look. It can be quiet and discreet. You can all but ignore me in public if that’s what you want. I don’t have a problem with that at all. What I do have a problem with is being ignored by you and then you wanting me to want you when you want it.”
Lucas stilled, and I could tell he was trying to make sense of my confusing sentence. Then he really looked at me, and I could see he still didn’t understand. “So what are you saying exactly?”
I had to remind myself that Lucas hadn’t done this in a long while, if ever, and that he might need guidance. He wanted me to spell it out? I could do that.
“What I’m saying is that we can have a sexual relationship and keep it as quiet as you want. Friends with benefits, more, whatever. Or we can be just friends, without any perks. But I can’t do the hot and cold. We need to define this thing between us, and we both need to be involved in it. Or we need to be nothing at all. You need to decide what you want.”
Lucas nodded, and his shoulders slumped. The confidence I usually saw from him was gone. I wanted to comfort him, or take it back, or do something to help him. But I didn’t push. I just waited.
Lucas’s exhale was explosive. “I don’t…know. I’m sorry. I just…don’t know.”
“It’s okay,” I said quietly. I closed the distance between us and then gently took his face in my hands. I tilted his face until I could place a soft, chaste kiss on his lips. “Think about it. Take your time and really decide what you want. I can wait.”
His eyes closed, and the tension left his muscles. He looked relieved. I knew then that I had made the right choice. This needed to be on Lucas’s shoulders. He had to be in control of this. I stroked my thumbs along his cheekbones for just a second, and then I made to step back. Lucas’s hands reached up and circled my wrists, keeping me in place.
His eyes, when they opened, were filled with heat. He licked his lips. “What do you want?”
I hesitated for a fraction of a second, trying to figure out how I wanted to play this. But I wasn’t in the habit of lying, not to the people I cared about, and so I took a deep breath and went with the tru
th. “You. More of you. More of what we had the other night. I promise I’m fine with that being on your terms. As long as you’re not stringing me along. As long as it’s a real thing between us.”
Lucas nodded slowly. He blew out another breath and then rested his forehead against mine. His arms circled around my back, and he just stood there, breathing and holding me. I didn’t know how long had passed before he finally spoke.
“Okay. I hear you. I just need to think.”
I could respect that. This was a big departure from what he’d had for years, and what he thought he could have with me. If he needed time to figure out what he was willing to give, I could give him that.
It was a big risk, but I’d learned long ago that sometimes the risk was worth the reward. Problem was, I didn’t quite know if Lucas was worth that. If he chose to push me away, to say he couldn’t do this, it was going to fucking hurt.
Chapter 8
I let Lucas have all the space he needed. I didn’t call. I didn’t text. I spoke to him when we were on set together, and I was jovial and friendly. Lucas was the same. But he never once gave me any indication about what he was thinking or feeling. I was an actor for fuck’s sake, but I was finding it hard to pretend. Truthfully, I was desperate to know what he wanted. It was on my mind all the time. It was a miracle I was even able to focus on my lines.
Shooting was going remarkably well, though. A couple of people noticed Lucas and my new camaraderie. It garnered looks and a few comments. Mostly because the lack of animosity between us was making the workday more pleasant. No one said anything directly to me though, and I thought everyone was just going to accept it and let it go.
I should have known better.
We were on the set for Geary’s apartment, and Dan and I were snuggled on the couch. The man was like a furnace and I was starting to sweat between his body heat and the lights. It was the last shoot for the episode and I wanted it done. Once it was in the can, we could all get out of here and go celebrate at DeLorio’s. That tradition was fast becoming a favorite of mine.
The director, Vincent Stevens, was a harsh taskmaster. He demanded perfection. He barked loudly, and everyone always jumped to do his bidding. But he was amazing at what he did and had a reputation for excellence. The thing was, though, he wasn’t difficult to work with. As long as we did what he asked, we almost always got ahead of schedule. In fact, we were ahead today, and if we could just finish this scene, I’d have enough time for a long shower and a short nap before dinner at DeLorio’s with the cast and crew.
Vincent was currently in consultation with the director of photography. Remy Janes lit damn near every shot in the show, and he was exceedingly good. It was a big coup when the producers managed to snag him to work on the show. I knew whatever change they were about to make would improve the shot. But while they talked, we were forced to wait in our places because Vincent wouldn’t let us move.
So Dan and I were pressed together on the couch, I was sweating my balls off, and Lucas was making faces at us through the doorway. I was ignoring him, but Dan was laughing. His mirth was shaking my whole body. I couldn’t stop the scowl. That just made Dan laugh all the harder and then lean in so his lips were right at my ear.
“You and Lucas seemed to have worked things out.”
I fought the blush that threatened with everything I had. I kept my voice low. “Yeah.”
Dan paused and then quirked an eyebrow. “Do I want to know how?”
I choked on air, and Dan sat me up a little to help me breathe better. In my peripheral vision, I saw Lucas start forward, but I quickly waved him away. Not only didn’t I want him to ask what happened, but I didn’t want him to get in trouble with Vincent for moving. Lucas slouched back against the doorframe, but I could see the concern in his eyes. That was nice.
“Aaron?” Dan queried softly.
“I’m okay,” I managed. I took a few more deep breaths, and then finally settled back against him, just as I was supposed to be. “And no. You don’t want to know.”
It took him a second to understand, but I saw the moment that it did. His eyes widened, and then his gaze flicked back and forth between Lucas and me. He took a slow deep breath and then leaned forward enough to press his lips right to my ear.
“Are you seeing him?”
I didn’t know how to answer. Dan had become a really good friend, and I didn’t want to lie to him. But I also would never out Lucas, and I had no idea if Dan knew the truth about Lucas’s orientation. They were close, I knew that. But Lucas was so paranoid about his sexuality getting out that I didn’t know if he would have shared that information even with Dan.
When I took too long to answer, Dan spoke again. He was so quiet, I wouldn’t have heard him if he hadn’t spoken directly into my ear. “I know he’s gay. He told me. But he didn’t tell me about you. Are you dating him?”
My lips barely moved as I whispered back, “Not sure yet.”
“Okay, people!” Vincent’s booming voice made me jerk in Dan’s arms, and if he hadn’t been holding me, I might have lurched right off the couch. That broke our tense mood, and Dan laughed as he hugged me tight. I managed a chuckle.
“Places, you fools,” Vincent shouted, but his voice was full of affection. “Let’s get this shit in the can, yeah? One take and we’re done. I know you won’t disappoint me.”
There was a general scrambling as everyone jumped to do Vincent’s bidding. Not a single one of us wanted to be treated to Vincent’s wrath by disappointing him. Within moments we were ready, and Vincent called for quiet. A hush fell over the set. The cameras started rolling, and a PA marked the scene. He practically leaped over the coffee table in his haste to get out of the way.
We waited for Vincent’s call. It was a short scene. A few lines of dialogue. We could do this.
“Action!”
I started rubbing my hand along Dan’s arm, my gaze fixed on the blank TV where post would put in whatever inane television show we were supposed to be watching. The knock was a sharp rap on the plywood door—sound would fix the noise later—and then the door opened. Lucas strode onto the set like he owned the place. He took in the scene before him, and I kept my attention fixed to the TV. At this point, Lucas’s character still didn’t understand what Dan’s saw in mine. Riley Cates and Murphy Rourke did not get along anymore. I thought it was fitting before, but now I was glad that was about to change.
“Frank, man, we got a call.”
I started to move, just as I was supposed to, but Dan’s arms kept me in place. I looked up at him, but his attention was fixed on Lucas. The silence stretched, the tension building, and then Dan quirked an eyebrow.
“Dammit, Frank. Get your ass in gear. He struck again, and he’s getting bolder. We’ve got to catch this guy.”
“I’m off duty,” Dan said slowly and purposefully. He tightened his arms around me and pulled me closer.
Lucas sucked in a breath and rage filled his features. If I hadn’t known he was acting, I would have thought he was truly pissed.
“You should go,” I said, just loudly enough for the boom mike to pick it up. When Dan didn’t move, I added, “Frank, really. Go. You have to.”
The tension was thick, and the silence went on for a good sixty seconds. This was going to make for some damn good TV. Finally, Dan shifted our position so that he could stand. He kissed my cheek, shot a glare at Lucas, and headed off through the doorway to the left that was supposed to be his bedroom. I turned my attention back to that blank TV, resolutely ignoring Lucas.
“Thanks, Riley.”
I lifted my gaze just enough to shoot a glare at Lucas. “I didn’t do it for you, Rourke.” There was just a hint of venom in my words.
Lucas blinked, and then he smirked. “Might as well call me Murph. Seeing as how you’re going to be around.”
More silence. I waited, counting it out in my head. When I got to thirty, I gave the barest hint of a smile.
“Cut!”
And just like that, the energy of the scene dissipated. Dan emerged from where he’d been hiding behind the wall. We all turned to look at Vincent. He was staring back. He was the only director I’d ever worked with who didn’t utilize the monitors to watch the action. He liked to see it firsthand, he’d told me once. His face was blank, and he let the tension sit there for a minute. Then he smiled and relief washed through my veins.
“That’s a wrap! Good work people. Get the fuck out of here.”
It was as much of a direction as anything else he’d said for the last eight days. And just like always, we were quick to obey.
* * * *
The private room at DeLorio’s was large and could more than adequately handle the fifty or sixty people currently milling about inside. The alcohol flowed freely, but I hadn’t indulged in more than one beer since that first party. I’d had it shortly after I arrived and was now sipping on soda. The table where I sat was filled with the principle cast members. It was just how it ended up for the moment. One of the things I adored about the cast and crew of this show was that there weren’t any cliques. Eventually people would get up to mingle and others would take their place.
I was content and happy. Another episode was in the can, and we’d done a great job. When the season three finale had aired a few weeks ago, the fan response had been phenomenal. Twitter had come alive with thousands of tweets demanding that Riley Cates live through his ordeal. The fan fiction sites had exploded with Friley—which was what Frank/Riley shippers called our pairing—fics that had Frank Geary realizing his true love as Riley lay bleeding. If only they knew. So far there hadn’t been any leaks about what was going to happen this season, and that in and of itself was a miracle. Right now the producers were happy with that, as it was at least three months before the new season aired.
I had no doubt they’d start leaking it before the new season aired, just to generate buzz.
But I wasn’t going to worry about any of that tonight. Everyone was in an exceedingly good mood, and Lucas hadn’t left my side all night. He’d been really subtle about it, and I don’t think anyone but Dan and I noticed. And the only reason Dan paid attention was because he now knew to look. He shot me a few suggestive glances from across the table. I slid down in my chair enough so that I could kick his shin.
Something Like Hope Page 6
