by Katy Kaylee
“Thank you, Donald.” The conversation stalled comfortably, and I glanced out the window as we weaved through the outer part of the city. We were less than 10 minutes from the hotel, now, and the line between downtown and suburb was strikingly clear. On my right were cookie-cut houses- their only deviance being color- and on my left was three-family apartments that seemed more rundown.
When we reached the hotel, the staff had graciously coned off a section of the lot close to the back end of the building. Hopping out of the truck, I shoved my hands into my jean pockets as I glanced around. The service entrance door flung open, and a man holding two, huge, trash bags appeared. Despite his burden, he dressed in a nice, slim suit, and he flashed deep dimples when he smiled broadly.
Donald shook hands with the guy who’s take read Assistant Manager, and I turned my gaze to the clear, blue sky. In the shadow of the large hotel, the heat wasn’t too unbearable, and the cloudless expanse seemed to ripple from the rays.
“So, if you need anything, don’t hesitate to let me know. I’ll just be up at the front desk.” Nerves tingled my fingertips as Donald gestured me to follow him, and the assistant manager went about his way to the dumpsters.
The truck bed was full of small, colorful flowers that thrived in sunlight- supposedly, and I stared at them through wide, apprehensive eyes. Donald’s assurance from the day before rang in my head, and I pursed my lips tightly. All I had to do was dig a hole, put the plant in the hole, and cover it up.
Simple. Hopefully.
Delainne
Huffing softly as I shuffled along the decorative bricks outlining the flower bed, I reached to swipe sweat from my forehead and cheeks. The dampness was only replaced with dirt, but I didn’t care about how I looked or the holes that were wearing in the knees of my jeans.
It felt amazing to get dirty- to do something productive that I’d never attempted before. An act so simple as planting flowers… Who’d have thought it would be so fulfilling. Smiling to myself, I gingerly grabbed a singular, purple flower from the plastic container by my side. Achievement blossomed in my chest, steadying my movements, and I sighed in content.
“Happy you tagged along, Delainne?” Glancing up, I only grinned as Donald nodded with a grunt of haughtiness. “It’s time to take a break. We’re making good time.”
“Okay.” Pushing myself up, I hoisted up what flowers I had left to plant to follow Donald back towards the trucks. “This is a lot of fun- I don’t know why I was so nervous.”
“I’m glad you’re having a good time.” I let Donald have this moment of arrogance, and I tilted my head to look back at my work with pride. Just before we rounded the corner to the back of the hotel, I paused with a mournful sigh; even if it was only for 20 minutes, I could appreciate myself.
Which was a weird feeling in itself, and I scrunched up my face at my own vanity.
“It’s a night and day difference, you know- just a few hours ago, and right now. I don’t think I’ve seen you look so content, yet.” Donald threatened to take my attention, but he was beaten to the punch when a familiar face appeared at the end of the wide walkway. A few patrons were milling around, smoking or on the phone, but they all became faceless as my heart dropped to my ankles. Anxiety slammed into my gut, and my throat closed as I watched in horror while my step-brother himself made his way to the hotel entrance.
Dropping the plants, my hands instantly went to my hair before my shocked brain remembered that I’d dyed it heavily. Greg didn’t notice me, and the irony of it made me sick to my stomach. Whipping around on my sneakered heel, I hoovered up a loud, shallow breath through clogged nostrils and rubbed my face furiously.
Without sparing Donald a glance, I rushed past him to slip through the service entrance, and apprehension zinged up and down my spine. Tears of frustration and worry stung my eyes, and I practically sprinted towards the hallway that led to the elevators. A shrill ping only piled on the panic, and my heart threatened to burst from its cage as I ran for the suspended, metal box.
The doors closed on my arm, and I winced as the cold metal seared my skin. My mind worked furiously- too fast- and I jabbed the button that closed the doors until my thumb hurt. Finally, in this tiny, confined space, I could breathe, and I leaned on the reflective wall to slide heavily to my butt.
Greg was here. If he’d found out the city, he could easily find out where I worked. He could find out where I lived. Oh God…
“Are you okay?” The slow, soft question caused welts to wash my skin, and my head whipped up to find a man in full military uniform staring down at me. Dread sent shivers down my spine, and my heart beat too hard to work properly as I stood on the verge of hyperventilating. All the while, my mind was blank- like a loop playback that worked too fast, and the images had disappeared.
Kneeling down, the man stared at me with intense, baby blue eyes, and I blinked hard to beat back the sting of my own. He didn’t try to touch me, and he sat against the opposite wall to prop his forearms on his knees. For the first time, I realized what I must’ve looked like covered in dirt, crying, and hiding in an elevator.
“It’s not what it looks like-“ The croak only earned me raised brows, and I forced myself to take a deep breath. “I was planting flowers.”
“I know. I saw you out front.” Matter-of-factly, the man’s tone sent heat billowing up my neck and into my face, and he clasped his hands together. The silence stretched on, but I took the time to gain control of myself. Closing my eyes, I leaned back against the wall, and only when my shoulders slumped some did he speak up. “Do you want to talk about it?”
“… Not really, no.” Slowly, my memories began to sort themselves, and I groaned in dismay. Covering my face in my palms, I shook my head at the images that flashed behind my eyelids. “I’m gunna be fired…”
“For what?” Dragging my fingers up through my hair, I fisted the strands to heave a sigh. Self-disgust roiled in my belly, and regret soured my tongue. These past few months- telling myself that I wasn’t afraid of Greg- seemed like a fantastic dream now that I’d seen him again.
“I dropped them… I dropped them, and… I should’ve known this was too good to last. I can’t believe he came after me.”
“Your husband?” Flickering to the man only three feet away from me, I licked my dry lips heavily as they twisted in confusion. He tilted his head, tapping his ring finger silently, and I untangled my left hand from my hair. My mom’s engagement ring to my dad glistened beautifully, and my whole body ached as I took in the elegant, moderately sized diamond.
“No… this is my mom’s… was- was my mom’s…” Staring at my ring helped me calm down, and I heaved a shaking sigh. Fiddling with it, I glanced over at the man to catch his gaze, but he made no attempt to hide his staring. “It’s nothing- I’ll get fired, and it’ll only be easier to find somewhere else to go.”
“That’s a terrible idea, and I think you know it.” The elevator gave another shrill ping, and I ducked my head as the nameless face across from me stood up swiftly, easily. “He’ll probably need to get on the elevator. You wanna come with me and wash your face off and stuff?”
Alarm rang in my head as it whipped up, and he held out his hand for me as he kept the doors open with his other arm. Anxiety formed a pit in my gut and tightened my ribs, and I pushed myself up without his help. His uniform looked perfect, without a single crease or stain, and he let me off the elevator first.
“Uh- uh- so- you’re in the military, right?” I winced at how stupid I sounded, and fire licked my cheeks under the thin coating of dirt and sweat on my face. The man smiled, glancing down, and I reached to rub the back of my neck awkwardly. “I mean- well…”
“I work logistic support at the base the next town over. I’m here for a conference. By the way- my name’s Eric.” Surprise rocketed through me, and an uncomfortable laugh burst from my throat. Tearing my eyes off him, I threaded my fingers through my hair to tug on the ends as my vision grew blurry. Eric wore a ful
l military uniform- complete with medals- so why was his acknowledgment so shocking?
“Hey…” His soft, coaxing tone drew my stinging gaze like a siren song, and my heart thundered hard. The smile he’d worn was gone, replaced with a seriousness that intensified the blood drumming in my ears. “Do you need help?”
“… I don’t know.” My voice cracked, and shame burned my cheeks as the past few months caught up with me. “I don’t know.”
“Do you want me to go get your boss or whoever’s in charge?” Nodding dumbly, I opened my mouth only for the elevator to ping, and panic slammed into my gut. Eric grabbed me before I could even think to move, and the air rushed from my lungs when he shuffled into the alcove of a room entryway. My body locked, muscles tense and froze with dread even as he grabbed my thighs to hoist me up. His smell flooded my brain as it swam, and I blinked hard to find him so close that his slight stubble ground against my jaw.
Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Greg’s profile as he breezed past us, and my breath hitched loudly. He didn’t so much as glance over from under his deeply furrowed brows, and seconds ticked by on pins and needles. Refusing to blink, to breathe, to do anything to shatter the moment, I held myself as still as possible before his room door opened and shut.
“Are you okay?” The question uncorked the stopper lodged in my throat, and I gasped for air as Eric pulled back. In the adequately lit alcove, he scanned me intently, and he adjusted his grip on my outer thighs with a low grunt. “Just breathe.”
“I’m so sorry- your- your uniform- I’ll p-“ Eric cut me off with a brush of his nose against mine, and the shock of it jolted my heart. Staring at him, wide-eyed and open mouthed, my words dissolved on my dry tongue. Taking his attention off me, he glanced at the room number before carefully setting me on my feet. Hooking his arm around my waist- so I didn’t run, or just to keep me close, I wasn’t sure- he pulled out his key card to open the door easily.
“Stay here. What’s your boss’s name?” The room was plain, barely above motel standards, and I rubbed my face as disbelief made everything spin.
“Delainne… that’s my name- my boss- Donald… he should be downstairs, maybe. I don’t- the trucks are out back…”
Delainne
“Wow… that’s a wild story.” Sitting on the floor, at the end of the perfectly made bed, I pulled my knees up to my chin as Eric’s voice echoed in my ears. “You never told your father about how you felt about your step-brother?”
“My dad told me to avoid him- which was easier the older I grew up… but… he doesn’t know about Greg going into my room and stuff. When I moved out, he broke into my apartment and put a camera in my bathroom- my dad doesn’t know about that either. I already thought he was creepy, but… that was not even on my list of reasons why. When Greg found out that I took out the camera, he showed up at my place and tried to kiss me. And now, here I am… and here he is.” Heaving a massive, exhausted sigh, I rested my cheek on my dirty knees to stare at the overly used carpet. “I think it’s because I’ve never had a boyfriend.”
“Why would that have anything to do with it…?” Glancing up dully at Eric, leaning on the desk opposite me, I watched as understanding flickered across his face. He grimaced, crossing his arms over his broad chest, and I offered him a grim, shallow smile. “Oh- yeah… that would definitely make it worse…”
“So… yeah- that’s the story.” The silence stretched as Eric stared at me from under tightly knitted brows, and I sighed heavily again. Even my bones were tired, and my mind worked slowly to process the past few minutes. Greg had appeared, ruining what I thought would be an amazing day, and I was reduced to hiding in a stranger’s hotel room.
How pathetic. How stupid am I to think that I wasn’t afraid of Greg.
“You know- my parents somehow got the idea that I had a girlfriend, so they spread the rumor that I was engaged. I’m not sure why, but I’ve never contradicted them. It’s just easier to go along with it, and I don’t have a lot of contact with them anyway. It’s difficult to date with a kid.” Confusion welled in my chest even as my brows shot up in surprise, and I lifted my head to catch Eric’s frown deepen. “Not to say it’s anything like what you’re going through, but everyone’s got their problems. Sometimes, it’s good to talk about it with someone you don’t know. There’s no judgment or bias. A lot of my family doesn’t understand why I have a hard time dating.”
“Why do you?” Relief that the spotlight wasn’t on me anymore flooded my veins, and I pursed my lips thinly. Eric shrugged, pushing himself off the edge of the desk to sit next to me. He radiated warmth beyond his white, perfectly starched button-down, and the fine hairs on the right side of my body stood up.
“She’s six- my daughter, Maggie. I work 7-3:30 every day, and she always wants to do things. Every minute of the day is packed. Being a single parent, there’s this stereotype that single dads get a lot of attention, but Maggie wouldn’t understand the concept of a friend with benefits or something. She’s at that stage where things are black and white. I can’t bring anyone around unless they’re going to stay, and I can’t get to that point because I just don’t have the time. It’s like getting a job- can’t get a job without experience, can’t get experience without a job.” Eric didn’t seem at all sour about the fact that he couldn’t date, and a smile wormed onto my face. “Her mother was a woman I dated when I wasn’t overseas. She died giving birth, and I was transferred to logistical support. We weren’t super close, and I knew she regretted her confidence in the pull-out method.”
“… My mom died from cancer when I was 8. We all knew it was coming- had been for a long time- but my dad just… he admitted when I was older than he’d contemplated suicide, and he would’ve done it if I wasn’t there to stop him. He married my step-mom when I was 12, but he doesn’t love her like he loved my mom. They’re more like friends. I don’t think they’ve even had sex- I think they’re married because they’re both afraid of being alone. She’s actually a really lovely person. She never tried to take my mom’s place, but she was more like a stand-in, and she knew it.” Eric took my hand to squeeze firmly, and my smile grew a fraction as I looked at my life without my step-brother in it. “So… it wasn’t all bad, I guess. It’s easy to think it is because my step-brother just creeps me out so much.”
“I know the feeling. When Maggie was born, I had no idea what I was doing. I had to have my parents move in with me, but that was a disaster. They tried to raise her without me. It lasted a couple of months, maybe, before I couldn’t take it anymore and forced them to leave again. At first, it was dreadful- taking care of a baby by myself with almost no support. I started getting the hang of it, though, and things got so good so fast.” Fiddling with the ring on my finger absently, Eric stared at his dress shoes intently- like they were the most interesting thing in the world. The uniqueness of the situation struck a chord in me, and I relished this intimacy with who was virtually a stranger. There was a certain comfort in knowing that I might never see Eric again after today, but it clashed with the desire to keep this bubble intact.
“I’m going to my cousin’s wedding in a few weeks, and my parents want to meet a fiancée that they made up. I don’t know what I’m going to do. I want to go, you know- because he’s my closest cousin, and we’ve been through some shit together. I just don’t want to be a laughingstock, and I refuse to let Maggie go through that confusion and negativity.” As he spoke, Eric stroked the diamond centerpiece of my mom’s ring, and my heart ached for him. It was an impossible spot to be in, and he clearly agonized over the decision. A low chuckle filled the room, and he leaned his head back against the edge of the mattress to catch my eye. “I mean- this is about as close to a woman I’ve been in seven years.”
A feathery sensation tickled my brain, and our gaze grew intense with expectation. Eric’s pupils narrowed into fine points, and his jaw ticked with his need to say whatever it was he wanted to say. My heart rate slowed, and I tilted my head in a
bare, almost imperceptible nod before he licked his lips. Flickering down, my eyes followed the tip of his tongue, and my abdomen clenched at the exact moment he finally spoke up.
“I don’t want to sound like a creep, Delainne, but maybe… we can solve each other’s problems? You pretend to be my fiancée for this wedding, and I’ll protect you from your step-brother.” Tearing my gaze from his mouth, my breath hitched at the graveness set deep in Eric’s expression. “We don’t have to have sex or go on dates or anything if it makes you uncomfortable. You can say ‘no’, and I’ll still help you out. I just figured- if you were looking not to be alone anymore, it could be mutually beneficial.”
At no point in Eric’s explanation did my mind interpret him as saying ‘I’ll save you if I get something out of it’, and my heart ached fiercely in appreciation. Reaching to cup his cheek, I found myself unable to look away from his brilliant gaze even as it drew closer and distorted. The faint pulsing in my abdomen grew more intense, and I sucked up a sharp breath before leaning in to him.
“I want to…” My mumble earned me a surprised, soft grunt, and I shuffled to sit on my knees. Suddenly, I was glad that I’d washed myself up, and not once did Eric indicate that he thought I smelled bad. “I’ll do it. And I’ll have sex with you- because… no matter what I might feel about giving my virginity to a stranger, at least it’s not my step-brother.”
“Trust me- it’s not nearly as forbidding as it seems. Do you place high value on something like that?” Shaking my head, I thought back to that conversation my step-mom had with me when I first got my period. Eric dragged his fingertips up my arm and over my shoulder, and he twisted as our lips hovered just a millimeter apart. Goosebumps pocked my skin, and I exhaled a shaky breath before speaking up in a mere whisper.
