by Katy Kaylee
My brows threatened to fly off my face that the nonchalance that drenched Maggie’s voice, but she only watched me expectantly. For such a small-looking girl, she thought about some big things. Pursing my lips tightly, I wondered how much of Eric’s ‘we’re not getting married’ speech actually trickled into that fast-moving brain of hers.
“I think Sasha would be very happy that you like Delainne so much, Maggie -” Spoiling the silence, Eric struggled not to grimace out of the corner of my eye, and blood rushed to my face. Twisting back to peer out the windshield, I twiddled my thumbs in my lap as his sigh filled the cabin. “However, we don’t have any plans to get married. She’s just helping us by watching you when I’m at work. Sometimes, we’ll go out and do things- like we’re doing right now, right? We’re going bowling, and it was a nice idea to invite Delainne because it’ll be more fun.”
“I’ve never been bowling, so I’ll need you to teach me how to do it, Maggie.” Relief slumped my shoulders as the conversation ebbed away on a wave of pins and needles, and a loud clap echoed through the car from the back seat. Twisting back, I blushed furiously at the gob smacked expression Maggie wore. “My dad worked a lot- kind of like your dad. He let me work with him during the summers.”
“Is your dad, like, Daddy’s boss? Was working fun? I want to go to work with him, but Daddy’s boss always says ‘no’.” Smiling when she pouted thickly, I shook my head before turning forward again. My mind flew back to that period of awkwardness directly following my dad’s marriage to my step-mother. Greg went to summer camp, so it was usually just Lana and I, and I got very uncomfortable very fast.
“It was fun for me, yeah. I liked it a lot, and I miss him sometimes… but- you know, I don’t think it’ll be as fun as bowling.” A pang tore through my chest, and I shook my head hard against the terrible emotions clinging to my ribs. I didn’t tell my dad that I was leaving- that Greg had tried to barge into my apartment and assault me. There wasn’t any time, and the longer I went without contacting my father, the harder it became. “Uh, so, I was wondering- if you want to learn how to do a backflip, maybe we can go see if you can get into a gymnastics’ program. That’s how I learned to do a backflip.”
That set Maggie off on an excited tangent that filled the car and pushed out everything else. Staring out the windshield at the day that had only just begun to shift to evening, I gnawed absently on my bottom lip.
My dad- he’d enrolled me in so many programs after my mom died that I had initially thought it was because he couldn’t stand to look at me anymore. I looked so much like her, and he’d taken her death so hard even though we knew it’d been coming for a long time. Gymnastics was fun enough, and I was good at it, but it wasn’t the only thing I’d learned in those miserable, four years. That time haunted me with crystal clarity; I’d taken up three foreign languages, and my father took me on trips abroad every summer, all summer.
“Delainne, you okay?” Blinking hard at the call, my gaze flew to Eric before I realized we’d parked, and I nodded. Warmth blossomed in my chest at the concern in his eyes, and he pursed his lips tightly. “Let’s have fun, okay?”
“Yes. We’re going to have a lot of fun.” Pushing away my past in favor of the present, I glanced over my shoulder as Maggie unbuckled herself. “You ready, Maggie?”
The bowling alley was nice, situated inside a huge warehouse with enough room for a bar, a large seating area, and an arcade. The lanes sat between it all, and nervousness and excitement swirled in my chest. Holding Maggie’s hand on the way to the shoe counter, prickles shot up my arm and into my chest at how surreal this was.
I’d never, ever thought that this day would turn out the way it did.
Taking the lane assigned to us, Maggie, Eric and I changed shoes and picked out balls, and I nearly dropped the first one I picked up. Maggie’s giggling burned my face, and I shot her a playful glare as I carefully set the weighted ball back on the rack.
“Okay- so, do you want to use gutter rails, Delainne?” Heat billowed up my neck at the tease in Eric’s tone as he poised over the podium, and I held my ball tightly this time. My voice failed me, and Maggie patted my side when all I could do was nod dumbly.
“It’s okay, Delainne. I use the rails, too.” Embarrassment flooded my chest even as I smiled down at her, and she grinned back with a twinkle in her bright, brown eyes. “I get to go first, so you can watch me.”
“You can go last, Delainne- sound good?” Programming our lane expertly, Eric rolled his shoulders as I set my moderately heavy ball on the deposit. Sitting to watch them from behind the safety line, I clasped my hands tightly and burn the clamminess away with friction.
Eric was such a good father- he was such a good man- and I pursed my lips to hold back a sigh of content. His broad shoulders strained against his t-shirt as he knelt down, and the thick ropes of muscles wrapped around his arm flexed as he rubbed Maggie’s back. Everywhere he went, he drew eyes, but I was the only one that got to see that he was just as attractive inside as he was outside.
He nodded to his daughter, and the fine hairs on my back stood up when Eric strode over to drop down heavily next to me. So close that his body heat seeped through my jeans and blouse, he leaned over to nudge me with his elbow, and my ears burned.
“I’m sorry about earlier. I never realized that everything was new to you, Delainne.” Deepening from his obvious regret, Eric’s tone rippled across my face and neck, and I rolled my lips between my teeth. A few feet away, Maggie moved with an ease of practice to send the ball hurtling towards the pins, and my heart leaped into my throat in expectation. “I didn’t mean to be inconsiderate of your feelings about me.”
“Can we just… not talk about it right now, Eric? I already feel bad enough that Maggie heard us fighting. I don’t want to ruin this, too.” Anxiety tightened my gut and my voice, and I winced when the ball hit the pins with a loud, abrasive crack. Six of the pins went down hard, but the distraction only worked so much with Eric so close. “We’ll talk about it later, okay?”
“Next time, be prepared, alright? Because it won’t be an argument- it’ll be a discussion.” With that firm, ominous declaration, Eric pushed himself up as Maggie let her second ball fly, and I held my own hands in a vice. How was I supposed to prepare for a conversation like that? The question had no answer that I could find, and I forcefully threw back my shoulders and straightened my spine.
Delainne
“So, what should we make for dinner tonight?” Posing my question as I hoisted Maggie into the cart bed, affection burrowed deep in my chest at her extremely serious expression. I had a few ideas, but she was the one with the final say.
Even if that final say typically involved hotdogs and mac-n-cheese, and I had to steer her away from it. This time, though, she thought about it long and hard, and I started the push the cart towards the vegetables before she spoke up.
“Dad says that Tony likes steak because he’s a barbarian.” A laugh burst from my throat at that, and Maggie grinned happily as she folded her legs underneath her. “We can do that, right?”
“Of course, we can. You know, I also like steak a lot- does that make me a barbarian?” Giggling wildly as she shook her head, Maggie looked around excitedly as we walked leisurely through the grocery store. The place was close enough to Eric’s house that we could walk, and we’d brought an insolated bag that she sat on. Early morning was definitely the best time to go shopping; there were only elderly people around us, and the place was quiet.
“Tony and my dad have been friends for a long time. Every time he comes back, he brings me a present. My dad says that Tony is a better uncle than Uncle Martin because Uncle Martin doesn’t know when to shut up.” Bopping my head and humming as we neared the potatoes, I listened as Maggie relayed to me everything she’d ever eavesdropped on. She talked, and talked, and talked, and not once did she ask for my input. Holding the Russet potatoes in her lap, she pet the bag like it was a cat as she regaled me with stories a
bout Tony and how ‘awesome’ he was.
Eric was excited, and he’d also given me the rundown of his relationship with Tony. They’d served together three times, and they were very close as a result. When Sasha died, Tony was the one that suggested Eric be stationed here. Tony was the one that Eric called when things were bad.
As much as Maggie talked about Uncle Martin, I got the feeling that she didn’t like him; she was just trying to find out why she didn’t like him. Tony, on the other hand, she was clearly very fond of even though they spent a fraction of time together by comparison.
“Daddy says that when Tony decides to come back for good, he can live with us. The last time he was here, he gave me ice cream for breakfast while my dad was at work, and it was supposed to be a secret… but you know, now, so don’t tell Daddy.” Snatching a bag of carrots off the refrigerated shelf, I nodded firmly as the mental image brought a smile to my face. In the cart, Maggie twisted around, scrunching up her face when she didn’t see what she expected. “Can we get corn, too?”
“Of course, Maggie. I was just about to get over that way.” Expectation radiated from her little body, and I took this moment of silence with relief. Things had calmed down considerably since the night we went bowling, and Maggie had stopped talking about her mother or marriage. We’d started looking for gymnastics programs for her, but almost everything was full- which we’d expected, but it was a bit of a letdown.
Still, it didn’t stop her from using the living room as a practice space.
Slowly, I pushed Maggie around the store to get the things we needed, and she piped up every so often. We went down the cake aisle for a box of brownie mix and chocolate frosting. The trip took less than 20 minutes before we were in line behind an elderly woman, and I idled as she was rung up.
This is so much better than what I was doing before. Working at a place I didn’t like- constantly looking over my shoulder- being alone- my life had been dismal since I stepped off that bus. The knowledge that Greg was in town always lingered in the back of my mind, but I still felt safe. Eric would drop everything to help me, just as he promised he would when we were in his hotel room.
“… Maybe, Tony might get you a present, too- it’s not fair. You live with us, so you should get something.” Her thoughtfulness filled my heart, and I leaned on the front of the carriage to caress Maggie’s cheek. The older lady in front of us smiled a wrinkly smile, and Maggie blushed brightly and ducked her head. Untamable curls bounced around to hide her flaming cheeks, and my own grin widened.
A soft tap on my shoulder popped my bubble, and I twisted only to be speared by dread. There, only two feet away, was Greg, and my eyes widened in horror as the cool temperature of the store became frigid. He smiled tenderly, dark eyes twinkling when mine met them, and tension locked my muscles as some circuit in my brain misfired.
“Hey, Delainne- I’m glad I finally caught up with you. Your dad’s really worried about you, you know.” Greg wasn’t the kind of guy one would look at and instantly think creep- but that only made him more dangerous, in my opinion. His voice laced with relief, and I blinked furiously until a tiny, barely audible voice in my head whispered a single word.
Run.
For once, I was inconsolably glad that Maggie was so small as I snatched her, and the pile of stuff in her lap rattled against the cart bed loudly. My heart lodged in my throat, making it impossible to breathe, and I only faintly registered Greg trying to talk to me. A cold sweat broke out on my back, and my knees wobbled threateningly as I backed up right into the shelves of candy and miscellaneous items.
A large, unfamiliar hand grabbed my bicep, and I crushed Maggie to my opposite side as I kicked out my leg. My sneakered foot hit Greg right in the crotch, and the impact rattled my entire body as I crashed into the poor, old lady in front of me. I hit the floor, and Greg smacked his head on the handlebar of the cart when he doubled over. Scooting into the unused register, I wrapped my arms and legs around as much of Maggie as I could and squeezed my eyes shut.
This couldn’t be happening. This couldn’t be happening! Barely daring to breathe, blood pounded in my ear drums to drown out the sound of the girl manning the register as she called her boss. Fear welted my skin as my oxygen-deprived brain raced viciously, and tears leaked from my eyes to dampen Maggie’s crown.
Greg really was watching me; he knew enough about my habits to follow me to the store in the same neighborhood that I lived in.
Time seemed to stop as I rocked back and forth, holding Maggie as tightly as I could. Memories flashed behind my tightly shuttered eyelids, and I ground my teeth hard as despair flooded my chest. Why couldn’t Greg just leave me alone? Why wouldn’t he get the hint?
But those questions didn’t have any answers, and the hairs all over my body stood up as a singular thought popped into my bedraggled mind. My hands shook as I wrestled my phone from my pocket, and I forced one eye open. The speed dial tone bashed around against my skull, and I sniffled hard as I stroked Maggie’s head. She didn’t move, didn’t make a sound, and my heart threatened to burst through my ribs. Sharp pains rippled through my body from the stiffness, but I ignored it when the speaker gave a faint click.
“He’s here! He’s here! He- he tried to g- grab me! Help- help us!” My shrieking echoed around the entire store, and I managed shallow, gasping breaths that only stoked the fire inside me. The sounds of Eric jumping from his seat and knocking into people sent waves of relief through me, but he didn’t verbally answer. Shivering violently, I dared a glance around just as Greg was being picked up by two, burly looking boys in green aprons.
Joints popping snapped my attention in two, and I tensed with a sharp hiss of an inhale. The old lady I’d bumped into crouched down in front of me, and the cashier peered worriedly over her frail shoulder. Gnarled, arthritic fingers held out a packaged peanut butter cup, and her lipstick stained her teeth noticeably when she smiled gently.
“Oh, my God- are you okay?” My knocking into her rushed to the forefront of my mind, and I winced at the force and volume of my own squeal. The wrinkles on her face deepened, and she nudged Maggie’s back. Plastic crinkling filled the small space, and the tiny girl in my lap struggled to twist before I realized how hard I was holding her. “Maggie- Maggie- are you okay?”
“My knee hurts-“ Horror threatened to drown me at her muffled, uncomfortable grumble, and I wiped my tears away furiously. Her jeans were ripped, and a thin, shallow scrape glowed red angrily; there was even a little blood, but not enough to drip. My lungs stopped working completely, and my hyperventilating caused black spots to float at the edge of my vision.
I hurt her- I might’ve hurt the elderly person in front of me, calming holding out a peanut butter cup. I definitely hurt Greg when I kicked him and caused him to hit his head.
My back hurt from my fall.
“No- no- no- no!” Fisting my hand in my hair, I flopped my head back against the register drawer as a mortified sob wrenched from my chest.
“Should I call the police or something?” The cashier couldn’t have been much younger than myself, and her voice wobbled as I finally managed to get some semblance of control over myself. Somehow, I achieved a semi-deep breath, and it burned my raw throat even as it cooled my hysteria.
“No- he already ran away. They’ll just tell us that kicking him out was the right thing to do, and to keep a lookout if he comes back.” Gulping down the dense lump in my throat as the stocker spoke up- like this had happened to him before- I exhaled slowly through trembling lips. Cupping Maggie’s cheeks in clammy palms, I examined her face and as much of her as I could see. She was shaken up, red-faced and wide-eyed, but she was okay aside from the scrape on her knee.
“Here you go, little girl.” The old lady nudged Maggie again, and her voice crackled from age. Wise, faded eyes flickered to me, and she held out her other hand to reveal a second peanut butter cup. “And for you, because you’re just a little girl, too.”
What stability I’
d managed crumpled at that, and I sniffled hard as I reached for the singularly wrapped piece of candy. Just then, in that moment, the sound of stomping rattled the worn linoleum, and goosebumps washed my body when Eric shouldered his way past the stock boys. His hair stood up awkwardly from how many times he’d raked his hand through it, and his uniform had some sort of small, light stain on the left side.
“Hey- hey- what happened, sweetheart?” I surprised even myself when I didn’t burst into tears, and Eric cupped my cheeks as the tension seeped from my body. The security that turned my bones to jelly weighed down my eyelids, and I sniffled hard as he stroked my rough, hot skin. On his knees, he stared at me levelly, but the rage that swirled in his eyes betrayed his calm expression.
“She kicked him in his no-no place!” Answering for me, Maggie twisted and climbed out from the sandwich of my legs and chest, and I shivered from the ice that lodged in my chest. Jumping up, she flung out her leg and fisted her peanut butter cup hard enough to smush it. “And then he fell like this-!”
“It was so cool! I got this- now I’m just like you, Daddy.” Pointing at the scrape on her knee that didn’t even bleed, Maggie beamed brightly, and some of the pressure eased off my chest. “I did what you said- I was really quiet, and I didn’t distract Delainne- and she took care of the bad guy! It was so awesome! I want to be like her when I grow up- I bet Sasha will be so proud of me!”
“You know, Mags-“ Examining the scrape with far too much interest as I worked to calm down, Eric smiled as he patted Maggie’s sides. “When people get hurt taking care of bad guys, they get medals. Why don’t you come with me to the base, and we’ll get you a medal?”
