Wham!

by Carol Marrs Phipps

  She stood shyly, gingerly touching at her newly pierced lower lip as she looked this way and that at her Mohawk hair-do, then tugged uncertainly at the crop-top Maxi had insisted on giving her, wondering if it was too revealing. “I look like such a troll- punk, Maxi!”

  “You had me all thinky-thinked you wanted to.”

  “Oh yeh. That's just what I wanted.”

  “And you be so pretty pretty that you be the first first one to look good that way. You do be fit in, but baby girl, you stand out by you own self.”

  Tess looked at her toes. She could tell that her ears were hot.

  “And I scratchy-head wondered you come by you self,” he said as he squatted to remove from an ice chest a chunk of something wrapped in white paper. “Now there be no way you make it home without be all punk jumped. So I walky-walk by you pretty side.”

  “You don't have to...”

  “Oh but I do for a certain fact.”

  “Well I guess I would feel better,” she said, nodding at his parcel. “What's that?”

  “Cow,” he said. “Nice roast. Something to soften up this Maud Baxter dame.”

  “Where'd you get it?”

  “I go hunting.”

  “For a cow?”

  “Yeh. Had to unwire the gate first. Had to butcher quick quick cause of the helicopter. So. You be ready to walk?”

  The moon was about to set in the Illusion Mountains west of Gollsport as they set out, but it still bathed the trash strewn streets with its pale white light, so that Tess was just able to make out some of their surroundings. Without warning, someone stepped out of the black shadows and slapped Maxi on the behind as she overtook them. “Maxi Thunderman,” she cooed as she tramped by, slowing to throw her heavy rump from side to side as she vanished into the darkness ahead of them.

  “Not even, Fnadirr-vanna!” hooted Maxi, stopping short to give his chest a couple of sharp thumps with his knuckles. “You boom boom steato-pig,” he said under his breath.

  “Ew!” said Tess. “What was that?”

  “Pew-gas!” he said. “She throw her big buttock each way cause she be after me.”

  “You don't like her?”

  “Hoof!” he said with a chinless hoot as he slapped his beetle brow. “I tattoo spider on her dirty rear end and she be after me every single ever since...”

  “But she likes you...”

  “And I wait for troll-dame with behind like you behind. You have pretty pretty behind, even if you do be different species. There be troll-dame with behind like you behind, come in and lick my foot any time. I just wait.”

  Poor Tess only swallowed and cleared her throat. She knew that Maxi was a perfect gentleman, but there was no way she could manage any sort of reply until it was far too late to make one.

  The moon was now setting, and there certainly were no stars. As Maxi padded along in barefoot silence, Tess scuffled her way into the rubble of the collapsed wall of the bank at the stair down to its basement. “Ow!” she cried, kicking a large piece of brick skittering down the steps. “I just can't see any more.”

  “I could cut hair in this light,” said Maxi as he gently put her hand on his arm and led her down the steps into the throbbing echoes of the tunnel which led out of the troll ward.

  When they found their way out of the building on the far side, Tess could see a faint glow in the east over the ocean. A ship gave a deep hoot. It was not long until they came to the barracks. A light was on in the kitchen. Tess had not thought to bring a key, so she knocked.

  Maud opened the door against the chain. “Tess!” she gasped. “My stars! That's you.” At the sight of Maxi, she closed the door, got her handbag from the chair by her bed and took her .45 pistol out of it in such a way that it could not be seen by the skinny as she quietly unlatched the door again and stepped outside with it. “Where in all thunderation have you been, girl?”

  “I'm sorry!” said Tess. “This is...”

  “What's that troll brute doing with you? Has he hurt you in some way?”

  “No Maud. This is Maxi. He walked me all the way home so I'd be safe...”

  “Yeh?” said Maud over her angry jowls. “Do you know what could happen to you, running off in the night like that? You didn't go by yourself to the stinking troll ward, did you? Did he take you out the bathroom window?”

  “Here be for you...” said Maxi with an encouraging nod as he held out the roast.

  “Do you have any idea what they would do to me, if you turned up missing?” said Maud, flinging her free hand so as not to wave her pistol about. “You had us fit to be tied! Did he have anything to do with cutting off all your beautiful hair?”

  They could hear a car coming, and in the next moment a pair of headlights came to a stop in the roadway. Maxi dropped his package of meat and vanished up the burr oak as Maud quickly hid her gun in her bag and set it inside. Doors slammed on each side of the car as a man and woman dressed in hospital garb came up the walk and into the light.

  “Are you Maud Baxter?” said the woman.

  “Yes,” said Maud as she steadied herself with the doorknob.

  “I'm afraid that your husband Mort has had an accident,” said the man.

  “No!” gasped Maud. “Is he all right?”

  “He's going into surgery now,” said the man. “They found him pinned under his sprayer in the herbicide from its tanks, out at University Farms.”

  “Is he going to be all right?”

  “We're here to take you to see him,” said the woman. “We'll wait if you want to change your clothes...”

  “Tess,” said Maud, grabbing her arm. “I want you inside this minute. And you'd jolly well better be here when I get back.” And with a whimper, she turned and ran to the car.

  Tess stepped inside long enough to hear doors slam and the engine start. When the car sped away, she stepped back outside. “Maxi?” she called out.

  “Here be,” he said, dropping out of the tree. “You be safe inside by you self?”

  “Of course.”

  “Then you cook you cow for Maud,” he said, picking up the roast and handing it to her. “And I be cutting hair any when you need me.” And with that, he donned his sunglasses and hurried away.

  Chapter 3

  Nia was having no difficulty whatsoever talking to Mr. Humpage, the head teacher of Gollsport High School, even though she was heartbroken beyond anything she had ever known and was quite out of breath from running to keep up with him. He was his familiar dour self, except that his distended abdomen was now an unzipped differential housing and his legs were spinning car tires, furiously pushing a wagon away from her that she desperately wanted to catch up with. “We all are most disappointed, Miss Greenwood,” he said. “I'm afraid that writing is simply an activity for subversives, even if you were suffering from female problems. And you are the one who used up your WC passes.”

  “But I was wearing white!” she said. “Drake!” she cried. “I'll always love you! Mom! Dad!”

  They were watching from the wagon, but none of them seemed to hear her.

  “They were the ones who taught you, Miss Greenwood,” said Humpage. “Weren't they?”

  Suddenly she found herself tied down somewhere, lunging against her restraints.

  “Drake! I love you!” she screamed, spitting at Humpage as he beat her with a flesh colored hose in all the places where the police had struck her in the kitchen. Suddenly Humpage was a mature fashion model of a woman, tucking the smelly flesh hose under her arm as some sort of valise.

  “So,” said the woman, leaning over her for a look. “Awake at last, I see.” She straightened up at once. “I'm Mistress Bodine, but you may call me Sam. For Samantha of course.”

  Nia threw her head from side to side in a panic. She could see guards. A device wired to her began beeping. “What is this place?” she said. “Why am I in restraints?”

  “Why you’re in the capitol,” said Sam, switching off Nia's monitor. “Don’t you remember bein
g chosen for this honor?”

  “The capitol!” cried Nia, struggling against the straps which held her. “Chosen! Is that what you call it when you abduct someone to be a toy for the monsters who've taken over the world?”

  “Your having spirit makes you a good choice, Nia. But you need to be warned to never again say anything derogatory about those in charge if you want to live.

  Cooperation and compliance will serve you well here and guarantee that when your five- year service has ended, you'll be given a most comfortable retirement wherever you choose. You'll even be able to pursue another career at that time, if you wish, or you can marry and have a family,” she said with a twitch of a smile as she ran her hand along the rail on Nia's bed. “There's no other position in the entire unified world which offers these benefits. When it sinks in, I can't imagine you not considering yourself chosen.”

  “As if I had a say.”

  “Of course you have a say. You can serve your government like a good and loyal world citizen, or you can refuse and be executed as a traitor. So,” she said, giving the railing a conclusive pat. “Now that you understand the terms of your service, shall we undo your restraints so that I can show you about? And then after a nice breakfast, we'll see you to your quarters for a nice hot bath and some rest.” And with that, she reached for a control under the bed's carriage.

  “Right,” said Nia, sitting up at once at the pop of the first straps. “As if I'd rather go through with all this than be executed. What about my dignity?”

  Sam gave a sigh. “I've been in charge here for twelve years, Nia. And in all that time not one young lady has chosen to die. Now I’ll allow that some might have entered service planning to escape at the first opportunity, but they all chose to cooperate.”

  “All of them?”

  “Certainly. Retirement or death are the only ways out, Nia. It's only a few moments until that's quite clear to every last one of them. And those who forget do pay the price.” She straightened up with a bland smile. “There. You're free. You've been unconscious for a while. Be careful. You might be dizzy.”

  “You mean drugged, don't you?”

  “Very well. They gave you Slumber. It's a morphine derivative for those who are out of control. For your safety.”

  “That's considerate.”

  “And you'd do well to begin thinking of it that way,” she said with a shrug. “It shouldn't matter. You’ve been out of it. Now let's go. I've a busy day ahead.”

  “Why don't you go on, then? I'd far rather look about on my own. I'll let you know if I decide to stay.”

  “You'll decide this minute, I'm afraid,” said Sam in a tone that swept through Nia with a sudden scald. “Your compliance begins now or I will have you terminated this morning.”

  Nia nodded, avoiding her eyes.

  “Much better,” said Sam, brightening at once as she led her out into a grand hallway of polished grey terrazzo, hushed with dense black carpet and potted cycads all the long way to the doors in the tall glass wall at the front of the building. “This is Atlantis,” she said with a wave of her valise, the moment they stepped outside.

  “The sky!” said Nia with a gasp. “What happened to it?”

  “It's a long way away,” said Sam. “You're looking at it through the thick acrylic glass of an enormous dome under ocean water. And those rows upon rows of specks up there are huge beacons, computer controlled to light up according to the position of the sun outside.”

  “Which ocean?”

  “That's not something you want to know if you expect to leave here at the end of your service.”

  “And green grass! And trees and flowers everywhere,” said Nia. “No dead trees. I don't see a bare yard or dying garden anywhere.”

  “And we even have songbirds which they say have been extinct for years up top, though I don't know one from another,” said Sam.

  “Those out there in the grass, are they blackbirds? I've never seen any like them before. And that brilliant red one. Could it be a cardinal? Mom always talked about them.”

  “I have no idea,” she said, peering under her hand. “But I do know about most of the buildings which you can see from here. That one rising above all the others at the far end of the boulevard is Orbis Terrae, the capitol building.”

  “The enormous glass ball in that white scallop shell?”

  “Yes. The entire top is the potentate's private residence. Very few people have ever had the privilege of being allowed inside.”

  “Have you?” said Nia.

  Sam shifted her valise to her other arm. “Once,” she said, pausing to look into the distance. “Shortly after I arrived. It was... I was very young.”

  Nia almost asked her if she had not liked it, but quickly thought better of it.

  Anyone who could order her death for mere insolence could be dangerous, taken by surprise. “These buildings between here and there,” she said instead, “they look like rich people might live in them.”

  “Rich?” said Sam as though the thought had never occurred to her. “Well I suppose. I tend to think of them as powerful. These are the official mansions of the potentate's corporate advisors. Perhaps every one of them also has residences elsewhere.”

  “That sounds rich enough to... I'm sorry. I meant nothing. I'm just used to not having heat all winter.”

  “Good!” said Sam as if Nia's survival suddenly mattered. “You're beginning to see how it all is. You're much too attractive to terminate. And you sound as though you're starting to recognize your good fortune. And you may indeed be right about 'rich.' After all, most of them were once international bankers and the like. They're the ones who took possession of the land and spent enormous sums subduing the old governments without bloodshed...”

  Nia had stopped listening to close her eyes as she pressed her face into a fragrant spray of lilac. She was listening to an oriole, but she had no idea at all what it was.

  Sam rolled her eyes. “So,” she said as if that were done. “On the far side of Orbis Terrae are the residential flats and cottages for those in the government service, such as yourself.”

  “Barracks, then...”

  “Not at all. They're practically opulent.”

  “No, I mean where I'll live.”

  “I'm sure you'll be pleased. Those who are chosen are given the very choicest...”

  “So where do you live, mistress?”

  “There is no need for you to know that. And it's Sam, Nia. We are expected to be close enough for familiar references. You're required to call me Sam.”

  Nia gave a wide-eyed nod.

  “Besides, we'll be in hourly contact by skinweler throughout the day...”

  “Skinweler?”

  “Skinny then, if you must,” said Sam. “I know 'skinweler' was 'skinny' when I was up top. 'Skinweler' is proper.”

  In spite of enjoying the flowers and the calls of the birds Nia nearly stopped short at the sight of a street sign bearing only the word “Eat,” but resumed her pace at once to hide her having read it.

  “Yes Nia. It does say, 'Eat.' I already know that you can read. You won't need to hide it. In fact all government service entitled to live in the residences are tutored. You'll be required to read amongst other things.”

  “So the school did turn us in!” thought Nia, stumbling on the sole of her worn sandal. “And how on earth did my nightmare know such a thing when no one told me?”

  “And Eat Street is indeed a restaurant district,” said Sam with a wave of invitation. “What type of food do you prefer?”

  “Fresh and untainted... Oh Fates! I forgot. I meant no derogatory...”

  “There's an adjustment period for all the chosen girls,” said Sam with a sunny flourish as she squeezed Nia's arm. “But you surely don't believe in the Fates, do you? They were cancelled ages ago.”

  “I was just using an expression.”

  “Of course. Now my favorite is Darkland cuisine. Shall I take us to the Feathered Dragon?”

&
nbsp; “You're buying.”

  Sam threw back her head with a tinkling and most artificial laugh. “Not at all, Nia. The chosen never have to buy any sort of food, clothing or medical care. Eat anywhere or anything your heart desires, but your clothing is strictly a professional matter. You'll have classes.”

  The Feathered Dragon awaited not far away at all, with its revolving glass door inside the gaping dragon's mouth. They were shown at once to an elegantly set table by a striking blue-eyed waiter wearing his jet black hair in a waist length braid. Nia stared at her bird of paradise decorated plate, silverware and linen napkin, waiting for her tea and shortly thereafter, her toast, toad in a hole and grits. It was wonderful. She found herself gobbling it down in a most unladylike fashion before she thought better of it and checked herself.

  Sam produced a magnetized plastic card from her flesh-colored valise. “Here,” she said. “Show this card for everything. It's your account. It accrues from your salary. Deductions are made for everything you buy except for food, clothing and medicine. Well. Your flat and its utilities are also free.”

  Nia nodded. The word 'salary' sent another white hot flush through her. She could guess what the work was going to be. It was the end of her appetite. She wiped her mouth and stared at her hands in her lap. Sam saw her to her new flat, telling her all about the classes she would take over the next several days as they walked. And indeed, when the door clicked and swung open, Nia gasped at the sumptuous appointments of her new and very lonely flat. Sam was late for her next appointment and did not come in. When the latch clicked shut, Nia sobbed: “Oh Drake!” and slid to the floor to wail and shake with despair.

  * * *

  The man and woman who found Maud took her to Critical Care and vanished without warning, leaving her standing by herself at the nurses' station rather than seeing her the whole way to Mort's bedside. After an astonished look both ways, she stepped up to the counter. “Where can I find Mort Baxter?” she said.