That Sunday, Daddy and Uncle Perry arrived after noon. They had flown in on the private jet Daddy rented. To my surprise, Lucille Bennet was with them. I had been waiting at my dorm-room window and saw them driven up in a limo. The driver opened the door, and Daddy stepped out first, turned, and offered his hand to a tall woman who looked only a few inches shorter than he was. She had light auburn hair in a medium cut, layered in a semistraight style I couldn’t help but think was very attractive.
There was something elegant about her. Dressed in what looked like an expensive bright white designer outfit, a cardigan with three-quarter-length sleeves and a skirt, she had a very self-confident posture. The cardigan had black piping and a floral pattern at the left shoulder. Daddy wore one of his black suits with a ruby tie, and Uncle Perry, who stepped out quickly behind them, looked as handsome as ever in a light blue suit and tie.
I rushed down the hall to the lobby to greet them. Daddy opened the door for Lucille and Uncle Perry and followed them into the dorm.
“Hey, Sam,” I heard Uncle Perry cry. As far back as I could recall, he had called me that.
“Hi,” I said, and moved quickly to embrace and kiss Daddy and then him.
“Our graduate,” Uncle Perry said, smiling.
“Semantha, I’d like to introduce you to Lucille. She was nice enough to want to travel with us to attend your graduation,” Daddy said.
“Nice enough?” Cassie whispered. “ What a sacrifice. She traveled here in a private jet and a limousine. It’s clear what she’s after.”
“Hi,” I said, and she held out her hand very slowly, her eyes scouring my face as if she were looking for some blemish. Of course, I had no idea how much, if anything, Daddy had told her about me and what had happened. Of course, she had to know about my pregnancy, but what details had he told her?
“I’m so happy to meet you, Semantha. Your father has told me so much about you. Congratulations on your graduation.”
“Thank you.”
Because of how hard she was looking at me, I shifted my eyes quickly to Uncle Perry, whose obvious excitement at seeing me warmed my heart and helped me feel more at ease.
“You do look wiser,” he said, smiling.
“I don’t feel wiser.”
“You will,” he insisted.
“You all packed to leave immediately afterward?” Daddy asked.
“I bet she’s been packed for days,” Uncle Perry said.
I laughed and nodded. I didn’t have to say it. He could see in my eyes how true it was. Then I glanced at my watch and looked at the front, hoping to see Ethan drive up. I still felt Lucille’s eyes on me, studying every movement in my face. She was making me feel very self-conscious.
“Look right back at her,” Cassie whispered. “Don’t let her intimidate you.”
I looked at her, trying to be as hard as Cassie would be, hardly blinking.
But that didn’t drive her eyes from me. She had almond-shaped grayish blue eyes that telegraphed self-confidence reinforced with her firm but feminine lips. She was not as pretty as Mother was, but she was very attractive and had a beautiful, stately figure. I hated to admit it, and Cassie certainly never would, but she looked as if she complemented Daddy well. It was easy to believe that people would see them as a power couple. Everything about her said, “I take charge, and I support the man I’m with.”
“I’ll never forget my college graduation ceremony,” she said. “I had partied so much the night before that I nearly fell asleep on the stage.”
“Then how can you say you’ll never forget it? How do you remember anything about it?” Cassie urged me to ask.
“Well, I hope we have time for some lunch,” Daddy said, looking at his watch. “What time do you have to be in the auditorium?”
“Three-thirty.”
“That gives us a few hours. Know somewhere nice not too far away?” he asked.
I thought of the coffee and sandwich shop Ethan had taken me to just last week and nodded.
“Wasn’t there someone you wanted us to meet?” Uncle Perry asked with an impish grin.
“I was hoping he’d be here early, but he had an urgent family matter, and I’m not sure if he’s going to make it,” I said.
“Too bad, but you have me,” Uncle Perry added, offering his arm.
“Should we put her things in the limousine now, Teddy?” Lucille asked. “To save time?”
“Good idea. Let’s do that, Semantha,” he said.
I glanced at Lucille and saw how pleased she was to have her suggestion followed. I led them back to my room. Some of the other girls looked with interest at my family. None of them had much to do with me after Ellie and the others were expelled, so I didn’t introduce anyone to my father. They turned away quickly anyway, showing me their backs and acting more interested in themselves. Actually, they weren’t acting.
“Sorry you had such an unpleasant finish to your school years,” Lucille commented, looking toward the other girls. “I can only imagine how difficult it was for you to have a roommate like that.”
“What doesn’t Daddy tell her?” Cassie whispered.
I said nothing and continued leading them to my room.
“How nice,” Lucille said. “I can tell you this is head and shoulders above what I had at my finishing school.”
“We paid enough for it,” Daddy told her. “One year here is equivalent to my whole college education, and that’s not just because of inflation.”
“She deserves it,” Lucille said, smiling at me.
“Oh, brother, give me a break,” Cassie whispered. “She probably slides instead of walks half the time.”
I put a few more things into my carry-on bag. Uncle Perry went for my two suitcases, and I took one last look through the closets and dresser drawers. When I looked into the bathroom cabinet, I saw the birthday candle. I stared at it a moment and then closed the cabinet.
Lucille came up behind me. It was as if she didn’t want to miss a thing I did.
“Have everything?”
“Yes,” I said quickly. Had she seen the candle?
“Despite how cozy and well furnished this is,” she said, “if you’re anything like me, I’m sure you don’t regret leaving.”
“I’m looking forward to going home.”
“Have you thought about what you want to do next?” she asked as we walked down the corridor to the lobby.
“No,” I told her.
“If you had, you wouldn’t tell her before you told Daddy and Uncle Perry anyway,” Cassie whispered. “What nerve!”
Lucille slipped her arm through my father’s and said, “Young people today take so much longer to settle down than we did.”
“That’s because we were always in a rush,” Uncle Perry offered.
“I wouldn’t call it a rush, Perry. I’d call it a sense of responsibility, ambition.”
“Semantha is one of the most responsible young women I know,” he said. “I’d trust her with the keys to the kingdom any day, hey, Sam?”
I simply smiled. If I were Cassie, I thought, the keys to the kingdom would fit neatly in my hands, but I doubted I knew more about our business than the average customer.
“How sweet,” Lucille said. “You have quite a cheerleader in your uncle.”
“And her father,” Uncle Perry said. “Right, Teddy?”
“Absolutely. She’s my girl,” Daddy said.
I hope so, I thought. How I hoped so.
I anticipated some complaint about the restaurant because it wasn’t anything special, but even Lucille thought it was “delightfully quaint,” whatever that meant. I was surprised at how much control she had over what Daddy wanted to eat. She seemed already to know what agreed with him and what didn’t, what was good for him and what wasn’t.
“She’s after me to lose the ten pounds Dr. Moffet wants me to lose,” Daddy told me when she advised him not to have the heavy garlic-bread club sandwich and fries. He ended up eating the same salad she
ordered. Uncle Perry and I had the hamburgers I told him the restaurant was well known for. When I explained that I had been there with Ethan Hunter, Lucille began to ask questions about him. She wanted to know where he came from, what his family was like, what he was going to do after graduation, and what sort of student he had been.
“She’s acting like your mother already,” Cassie whispered angrily.
I could see that my answers were quite vague and unsatisfactory to her.
“It doesn’t sound like you were all that involved with him,” she said.
“I was involved with him more than I’ve been with any other boy,” I snapped.
Daddy looked up sharply, surprised at my tone. I could almost read his thoughts. You sounded just like your sister just now.
“ Well, I don’t imagine you’ll see him too often now, anyway,” Lucille said. “If there is one thing I’d advise young women today, it’s not to rush into romantic relationships. That was my mistake.”
“You’re too hard on yourself, Lucille,” Uncle Perry told her. I couldn’t tell if he was serious. Uncle Perry always had that way about him, balancing what he really thought with what he had to say and therefore never sounding completely sincere. Cassie hated it.
“Maybe,” she said, “but I still give any young women I know that advice, even William’s nieces, who still talk to me more than they talked to him.”
“They’re lucky to have you as a mentor,” Daddy told her.
“He’s drooling over her. We have a lot of work to do,” Cassie whispered.
When we returned to campus, I looked for Ethan in the crowd of relatives and close friends that was gathering. I didn’t see him, but I still had high hopes. I went backstage to get my cap and gown and listen to last-minute instructions from Mrs. Hathaway. It wasn’t going to be a long ceremony. There were only thirty-four of us graduating, and that included some early graduates as well. The speaker was Helen Fleming, a graduate of the class of 1995 who was now a New York State senator.
My eyes panned the audience as we marched down the aisle to take our seats on the stage. Ethan was still nowhere in sight, so my expectations dwindled, and even though this was supposed to be a very happy day for me, I felt a thick cloud of disappointment drift over me. I barely listened to any of the speakers and nearly didn’t hear my name called when it was time to go up and get my diploma. Mrs. Hathaway held my hand a little longer than she had held the hands of the others.
“You can be very, very proud of yourself, Semantha,” she said. “You overcame a great many obstacles to get to this place. Good luck, dear.”
“Thank you,” I said, and looked out at Daddy, Uncle Perry, and Lucille. Uncle Perry was waving. Daddy looked lost in thought, and Lucille looked pleased and kept whispering something in his ear. Daddy finally nodded and smiled at me as I walked around to return to my seat. Only Uncle Perry snapped a picture.
Afterward, I introduced the three of them to some of my teachers, and then Lucille reminded Daddy of the time. With one more desperate search of the crowd, I looked for Ethan but didn’t see him. If he had been there, he would have come over, I thought.
“Forget about him,” Cassie said. “We’ll find someone worthy of a Heaven-stone.”
“So, how does it feel?” Uncle Perry asked when we were all in the limousine heading for the airport. He reached for my hand and gently squeezed it.
“Not much different,” I said.
It was true. It was almost as if someone else had been on that stage. I didn’t have any girlfriends to hug and cry with. Other than my times with Ethan, there were no great memories, nothing about the school to cherish and tell my children about in years to come. Now my years at Collier and even these past weeks felt more like a dream. Soon I would wake up and find myself back in my own bed at home.
Maybe it had all been a long, bad dream. Maybe when I woke up, I’d hear Mother coming down the hallway to wake me up and Cassie complaining that she was babying me too much.
“If she’s late for school, it’s her own fault,” Cassie would say.
And Mother would respond, “That’s why I’m here. To make sure she’s not, and you should be, too, Cassie. We have to look after each other in this world.”
“There’s a limit to that, Mother. She’ll become too dependent on us and weak.”
“Nonsense,” Mother would tell her with a short but soft laugh. “A Heaven-stone can never be too weak, remember?”
“She’s not a Heaven-stone yet,” Cassie would reply and leave it at that, whatever it meant.
I could hear them bantering so clearly. It really was as if no time had passed.
Oh, please, please let it be true, I prayed.
“Don’t be an idiot,” Cassie muttered in my ear. “Open your eyes and look at Daddy and his Lucille. We have no time for dreaming.”
Cassie was right. They were behaving like two teenagers, giggling and whispering and sitting so tightly against each other that they could surely feel the blood moving in each other’s veins. I looked at Uncle Perry to see what he thought of them. He smiled and shook his head. Then he leaned over to whisper in the ear Cassie favored.
“Your dad’s finally coming back to life, Sam,” he said. “That’s good. Things will be better for you, for us all, if he’s happy again.”
I looked at him with surprise. Didn’t he see what I saw? Didn’t he see how controlling Lucille was, and how self-centered?
“See?” Cassie said. “I told you he was a lamebrain.”
For most of the remainder of the trip, Uncle Perry was the only one talking to me. Daddy was on the phone with some of his store managers, and when she wasn’t talking with him, Lucille read fashion magazines. Uncle Perry described some of the changes he had been making in the Heaven-stone fashion line. Despite some cutbacks Daddy had made when Cassie was working with him, Uncle Perry had held on to what interested him most and eventually brought it back to where it was.
“Maybe you’ll come work with me,” he suggested a little before we landed. “I always welcomed your opinion and advice, Sam, and it’s a lot more interesting than the work your father does.”
“Maybe,” I said.
I thought Uncle Perry might stay over after we landed, but he said he had work to do in the morning and promised he would try to get up on the weekend. I expected Daddy would want to take Lucille home first, but nothing was said, and he didn’t give any other directions to our driver.
I really hadn’t given much thought at all to what I would do now. Once I had thought I might go into teaching, but the idea of facing so many different personalities and dealing with them all had turned terrifying. I didn’t want to be in front of any audience, no matter how small or how young.
I was tired from the day and the journey, but the sight of our historic family home silhouetted against the night sky bright with stars filled me with new energy. Daddy wasn’t exaggerating when he carried on about our heritage and our ties to our past through this grand house, our Heaven-stone. It was comforting and safe, a world unto itself. The voices, laughter, and even tears of sadness and tears of joy still echoed within, as did the footsteps of our grandparents, great-grandparents, and what Cassie used to call our triple great-grandparents.
Growing up there, I often felt as if the house were truly alive, beating with a heart of its own, its lifeblood flowing through the pipes and wires. Every light was another eye, every creak in the stairways or floors another moan. Both Cassie and I had always felt guilty and ashamed if we scratched a wall or a floorboard, broke a dish or a glass. Repairs were like medical treatments. It was never permissible to injure Heaven-stone in any way. Few, if any, of our peers had similar feelings about their homes. Most families in our school moved from place to place, house to house, periodically, their parents viewing their homes as investments and not gardens in which to grow families.
I always felt closer to Mother and even to Cassie in the house than I did at the cemetery. I vividly remembered where my mot
her had stood or sat when she had said something wonderful or when she had looked beautiful and happy. I loved to sit in her favorite chairs or look out the windows she had looked out to see the world through her eyes. Being there, touching things she had touched, holding things she had held, and using things she had used helped me to feel her presence even now. She was still in our mansion and still giving me a sense of security and a sense of great love. I could never, ever be alone in Heaven-stone. The memories would always surround me and comfort me. Lucille Bennet wouldn’t understand this, I thought. Cassie wasn’t all wrong. How could anyone but a Heaven-stone understand?
Of course, there were other, darker memories that were continually resurrected in our house. After Cassie had made sure that Mother overdosed on her sleeping pills, she had tried to erase any and all traces of her death by changing our parents’ bedroom. She could replace the furniture, the flooring, and the curtains, but nothing would ever erase the image of Mother asleep forever in her bed. Nothing would drown out my screams and tears. I could never look at the stairway to the attic and not see Cassie tumbling down. And it was certainly impossible for me to fall asleep in my own bed and not, as I had told Ethan, occasionally revisit my rape.
Once, when Daddy and I had one of our painful conversations after it was all over and done, he said, “As hard as it will be, Semantha, we must face our demons here. We cannot let them drive us from our home and our history. We’ll never be who we really are if we leave. Be strong. Face them down.”
I promised I would, and I was confident I could, but that was before Cassie had returned from her grave to haunt me. That had become more and more intense this last year of private high school, so I couldn’t help being a little more apprehensive than usual as we approached Heaven-stone.
“Home sweet home,” Daddy said as we drove up our long driveway.
Our Gothic Revival mansion had been built in the Bluegrass region of Kentucky because this was where Daddy’s ancestors had come to live when they left England. The house had ten rooms. Five were downstairs: the large living room with the original fieldstone fireplace with stone up to the ceiling; a large dining room with a grand teardrop chandelier that had been imported years ago from France; a kitchen that had been renovated five times to provide for more modern appliances, twice alone after Daddy and Mother married; a dark oakwood den that was our entertainment center; and Daddy’s home office with its library of leather-bound first editions.
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