“What about Lucille?” I asked as I stood.
“They won’t do anything until tomorrow, after the doctor your uncle sent for arrives and examines her and evaluates the tests and pictures they’ve taken. Come on.”
He held his arm out for me, and we left the lobby and stepped into the parking lot. A nurse was helping Uncle Perry guide Daddy comfortably into the car.
“Okay,” Uncle Perry said as we approached. “I’ll follow you guys. Dr. Moffet and the nurse should be there when we arrive.”
We got in, and I turned to look at Daddy lying there with a pillow behind his head and a light blanket. His eyes were closed.
“Are you comfortable, Dad?” Ethan asked.
“Yeah, I’m fine. This is unreal,” he said without opening his eyes. “This is a nightmare.”
“That it is,” Ethan said. He started the engine and drove out slowly.
“Maybe it’s all been a nightmare,” I said. I think I was talking mostly to myself. “Maybe I’ll wake up, and Mother will still be alive, and so will Cassie.”
Daddy moaned.
Ethan glanced at him in the rearview mirror and then at me. I thought I could read his thoughts.
Look at this rich and powerful family, broken, in great physical and emotional pain. Money can do only so much for you in this world. It really can’t buy you love, and without love, you can’t have happiness, no matter how big your bank account.
We drove on in silence. Dr. Moffet and the nurse he had brought were waiting for us when we arrived. Uncle Perry was right behind us. While he and Ethan helped get Daddy up to his room, I went to the kitchen to finish cleaning up from our dinner. The De Stagens wouldn’t be back until morning, but I thought I heard Gerad moving about down by his room. I left the kitchen to see. I heard his music, Edith Piaf, and for a moment remembered when Ethan and I had heard her “La Vie en Rose” and vowed to make it our love song. These songs Gerad was playing, however, were different and seemed appropriately sad. I knocked on his door.
“Just a moment, s’il vous plaît,” he said, and opened the door after he had put on his robe. “Ah, yes?”
“I’m sorry to bother you,” I said, “but I thought you should know my father and Lucille were in a very bad car accident tonight.”
“No.”
“Yes, and Lucille is not coming home.”
His face seemed to sink inside his skull for a moment. “What are you saying, please?”
“She had very serious head injuries, and they are not holding out much hope. My father is upstairs with our doctor, a private-duty nurse, my uncle, and my husband. My father has a broken arm and a slight concussion. We’ll have to send up his breakfast in the morning.”
He stood speechless.
“I’m sorry,” I said, “but everything is going to change here now.”
I turned and walked away. He stepped out to look after me, perhaps to be sure he wasn’t dreaming, too. I met Ethan and Uncle Perry in the hallway, talking. The way they both looked at me as I approached convinced me that they had been talking about me and not about Daddy.
“How are you doing, Sam?” Uncle Perry asked.
“Okay,” I said. “Is Dr. Moffet with Daddy?”
“Yes.”
“He’s more than our doctor. He’s an old friend,” I said.
“The nurse’s name is Lila Millard. She says she’ll be fine sleeping on the sofa in the bedroom suite. I’ll be back in the morning. You’re going to the office, right?” he asked Ethan.
“Yes. I’ll get what I can organized and join you at the hospital.”
“I’m sure Teddy will insist on going back, too,” Uncle Perry said. He looked at me for a long moment before speaking. “You should get some rest now, Sam. It’s going to be a difficult few days.”
“She’ll be okay,” Ethan told him, and looked at me. “You want to go up to say good night to your father now and then go to bed yourself, honey. You look pretty tired.”
“Do I? Okay,” I said.
Uncle Perry hugged me and whispered, “I’m going to spend more time with you, Sam. I promise.”
“That’ll be nice,” I told him.
He kissed my cheek, nodded at Ethan, and left.
“You won’t wear your sister’s clothes tomorrow, will you, Semantha?”
“No, I don’t have to.”
“You don’t have to? Why did you have to now?”
I just smiled at him.
“Will you let me send for a stylist to repair what you’ve done to your hair?”
“I can go to the salon myself, Ethan,” I said. “Stop worrying about me so much.”
I started for the stairway. He hurried to catch up and take my arm to make me pause.
“Don’t let your father feel or think you’re happy about Lucille, Semantha. That would be a terrible, terrible mistake.”
“I think I know how to talk to my father, Ethan. I love my father, and he loves me. I wouldn’t do anything to hurt him or bring him more sorrow.”
“All right,” he said. “I’m going to sleep. Your uncle is right. It’s going to be a very difficult few days ahead.”
He walked past me and up the stairs. I followed slowly and then turned to Daddy’s bedroom. Dr. Moffet was just leaving.
“Ah, Semantha, another tragedy befalls Heaven-stone. I’m sorry,” he said.
“The Heaven-stone family is used to tragedy and knows how to overcome it,” I said. I was sure I was repeating something Cassie had said, perhaps even to him after Mother’s death.
“Yes. Well, best to take each day as it comes.” He patted me on the arm and continued out.
I smiled to myself. Old Dr. Moffet, oblivious to the obvious things sometimes but with microscope eyes when it came to analyzing illness. Were we all doctors that way, oblivious to the obvious, too narrowly focused? I waited to hear Cassie’s response, but there was nothing but silence.
“Where are you?” I called down the hallway. Then I went to Daddy’s bedroom. The nurse was taking his blood pressure. She looked up as I entered. Daddy was lying there with his eyes closed.
“He’s exhausted,” she said. “Just a few minutes.”
I ignored her just as Cassie would and went right to Daddy’s side.
“You’re home and in your own bed, Daddy,” I said, taking his hand.
He opened his eyes and looked at me. “We’re going to lose our Lucille,” he said. His lips quivered.
“We’ll be fine, Daddy. We have each other.”
“She was good for us, Semantha, for all of us.”
Tears came to my eyes, not for Lucille but for Daddy, who was suffering from grief already.
“Take my advice and cherish one another, Semantha. Snap out of your doldrums or whatever is wrong with you, and enjoy your husband and your marriage. I’m depending on you more than ever now.”
“I will, Daddy. I promise,” I said.
“You’d better let him rest,” the nurse said. She was practically hovering over me.
“Good night, Daddy. I’ll be here as soon as I wake up,” I said, and kissed him. He held my hand longer, held it as if he never wanted to let it go.
Daddy’s back, I thought. I didn’t need Cassie to tell me.
Ethan was already in bed when I entered our bedroom. I moved about as quietly as I could. When I was in the bathroom, I looked at myself in the mirror and admitted to myself that I had made a terrible mess of my hair. I would call the salon first thing after breakfast. I was confident they’d fit me in. Everyone in this community would hear about Daddy’s accident. It would be breaking news on television and radio.
When I crawled under the blanket, I expected Ethan would turn to talk to me, but he was apparently in a deep sleep already. I didn’t want to wake him, but I couldn’t fall asleep quickly. I lay there staring up into the darkness. Flashing on the ceiling were scenes from the past, mostly happy scenes, memories of Mother and me taking a walk or cleaning house together. It was easy to picture her smi
ling; she had done it so often.
Cassie had used to say Mother behaved more like an innocent, unsophisticated young girl. She’d had so much faith in people and had a stubborn insistence on believing things would turn out all right.
“Our mother lives in a Santa Claus world,” Cassie would say. “She thinks ice on the road is a layer of diamonds, most crime is accidental, and death is a commercial interruption. Happiness will always survive and return.”
“I like that, Cassie. I want to be the same way and believe in the same things.”
“You would. If you’re not careful, you’ll end up just like her, a prisoner of delusion.”
“A happy prisoner, though.”
“Christmas trees. Talking to you is like talking to the wall.”
“You said these walls have ears,” I would remind her.
“Ancestral ears. Heaven-stone is history. Oh, forget it,” she would say. “You’re giving me a headache.”
Like two conspirators, Mother and I would smile after Cassie had said something unpleasant.
“She’s too smart to be sour forever,” Mother would tell me. In time, I had to admit to myself that was a delusion.
The pictures on the ceiling began to diminish as I grew more tired. I didn’t want to fall asleep without seeing or hearing Cassie, but I couldn’t wait much longer. Maybe she’ll be in my dreams, I thought, and finally closed my eyes.
She wasn’t. In fact, I slept more like someone under anesthesia. One moment, it was dark, and the next, it was light. Ethan was already up and gone. I sprang out of bed, rushed to get on some clothes, and hurried down to Daddy’s bedroom. I was shocked to see Mia De Stagen remaking Daddy’s empty bed.
“Where’s my father?” I asked. She paused, her face full of sorrow.
“He went to the hospital with your husband.” She reached into her apron to pluck out a tissue to dab her eyes. “Mrs. Heaven-stone is very bad. He went to say good-bye, I’m afraid.”
“Where’s the nurse?”
“She went with them to look after your father.”
“Why didn’t anyone wake me?”
She had no answer, of course. I went down to get some coffee and then went to the phone and called Ethan on his cell phone. He didn’t answer, so I left a message that I was surprised he hadn’t woken me and that after breakfast, I intended to go to the salon. I told him to call me on my cell phone. Then I called the salon and made an appointment.
Gerad waited in the kitchen for orders. I was surprised that I had a big appetite and asked him to prepare one of his famous omelettes. Like most people awash in sorrow, he was grateful for something to do. Catherine De Stagen was the same way and hovered about me at the dining-room table, practically lunging to get me the pepper when I started to reach for it. She wore the same mask of sorrow Mia wore. It was hard for me to believe they were so emotionally tied to Lucille, but maybe they were. Maybe she was the sort of employer they admired, or maybe they wondered now if they would be retained much longer.
Ethan had still not called me before I left for the salon. I kept expecting him to as I sat in the chair and my stylist began to repair my chop job. She didn’t pursue how my hair had come to be so badly mangled once I told her I had gone overboard trying to do it myself. She didn’t ask why. I thought she did a remarkably good job of rescuing it. I didn’t look like Cassie or myself, but it was an interesting new look for me. Ethan would be happy, I thought. Just toward the end, my phone finally rang.
“It’s over,” he began. “There was nothing the doctor your uncle brought in could do that would have made any sort of difference. Your father made the decision to cut off the life support.”
“How is he?”
“Devastated. He’s with your uncle and the minister. Where are you?”
“Finishing up in the salon. You’ll love what she’s done.”
“Good. I’ve got to go help with the funeral planning. We want to take as much of this off your father’s shoulders as we can.”
“Okay,” I said. “Should I come there or go home?”
“Go home. I’m sure we’ll be headed that way soon. Are you all right, Semantha?” I could feel the tension in his voice. He was surely holding his breath.
“I’m fine, Ethan. Everything’s okay. Don’t worry about me now.”
“That’s good, Semantha. I need you to be strong. Now you sound like a real Heaven-stone.”
I nearly laughed. “Of course. That’s who I’ve been and always will be, Ethan. And Ethan?”
“Yes?”
“I didn’t take any birth control pills, and I won’t anymore,” I said.
He was silent so long that I thought he might have hung up. “That’s good,” he finally said.
I arrived at Heaven-stone before they did and waited nervously for Daddy. I paced and stood by one of the windows in the living room that faced the front and finally saw the limousine coming up the driveway. I rushed to the front door and out onto the portico as Ethan helped Daddy out. I noticed the nurse wasn’t with them. Daddy looked up at me. I hurried down to him and embraced him.
While I had been waiting for him, I thought about Mother and how she would greet him and behave. Something she either had said or surely would say kept repeating itself in my mind: “Your happiness should never depend on someone else’s unhappiness, Semantha. Daddy is truly in pain.”
“I’m so sorry, Daddy,” I said. “I know how happy you were.”
“Thank you, honey,” he said, and kissed me.
Along with Ethan, I helped him up the stairs.
“Where’s your nurse?”
“I don’t need someone hovering over me. I’ll be all right. People get around with broken arms and slight concussions.”
“Especially Heaven-stones,” I said, and he nodded.
He looked at me. “Glad you had your hair fixed,” he said, “and you’re wearing your own clothes.”
“I’m sorry, Daddy. I didn’t mean to upset you.”
He nodded. When we entered the house, he insisted on going to his office instead of up to his bedroom.
“I can rest there as well, and there are things we just have to get done,” he told Ethan.
We accompanied him to the office. He sat behind his desk and for a moment just stared ahead. He reminded me of the African American lady in the emergency room, stunned by her sadness and fear.
“You’re sure you don’t want to lie down for a while, Daddy?”
“I’m okay. I’ll lie down in a little while.” He picked up the phone and began to make his calls.
Ethan looked at me and gestured for us to leave.
“I’ll look in on him in a moment or so,” he told me as we left the office. “It’s better for him to keep busy.” He paused. “You’re right. I like this new hairstyle on you.”
“Thank you.”
“Let’s get some lunch,” he suggested.
Again, Gerad was more than happy to accommodate us, as were both De Stagens. Ethan told them to bring my father something to eat.
“This funeral is going to seem as big as their wedding,” Ethan told me.
He had to give Lucille one last compliment, one that I might very well have sincerely given her myself.
“Fortunately for your father, we discovered she had thought out and planned for everything,” he told me. “I guess it’s logical that someone who was so in control of her life would be sure to be in control of her death. It’s like some road map all laid out to follow. There’s nothing for us to do but bear witness and comfort your father.”
I didn’t need Cassie beside me to whisper the right thing to say.
“I’ve done that before,” I said.
He nodded and reached for my hand.
We sat there listening to the sound of silence that had seized Heaven-stone and held us hypnotized.
Epilogue
ETHAN WAS RIGHT about Lucille’s funeral. It ran like a Swiss clock, and the number of people who wanted to attend was so great that
he, with Daddy overseeing him, had to create a preferred guest list. There were actually people at the church door checking off names. They set up speakers for the crowd that gathered outside the church, and of course, anyone who wanted to could attend at the cemetery.
It was the cemetery decision more than anything else Lucille had done that won my respect. She had not changed her desire to be buried alongside her first husband. Daddy would lie next to Mother. I was sure that set some tongues wagging, but I could just imagine Lucille staring them down with that condescending expression that said, “How dare you question one of my decisions?”
There was a seemingly endless parade of sympathetic mourners at Heaven-stone during the days that followed. Gerad and the De Stagens worked harder than ever. Ethan was right alongside Daddy and Uncle Perry, greeting people and thanking them for their condolences. I wasn’t as out front as they were, but there was no hiding. In an ironic way, Lucille’s funeral and the aftermath did more to bring me out in public than anything she had tried. Daddy actually complimented me, telling me he was proud of the way I was conducting myself. Both Ethan and Uncle Perry followed up with their compliments as well. In the end, there were the four of us, sitting quietly together, all feeling as if we had just been through a great battle.
Daddy proudly rattled off some of the messages he had received from high government officials and important businesspeople, as well as journalists and television personalities from our area. After we had heard most of it, Uncle Perry said Lucille had impressed many people and was highly respected.
“Maybe there’s just a curse on Heaven-stone wives,” Daddy said. “Our grandmother died at an early age.”
“I won’t have that problem,” Uncle Perry muttered. It was just a thought that had come to him, but after he said it, he looked up at us as if he had blurted out something terrible. It was the first time Daddy had laughed for days.
“You will if they legalize gay marriage,” Daddy quipped, and Uncle Perry’s face turned into a ripe apple. Ethan smiled, and I thought to myself that Cassie would have enjoyed this.
As soon as Daddy was able to get around more comfortably, he was back at his office. Sometimes Ethan would drive him, and sometimes he would use the Heaven-stone limousine. I decided to drive over and drop in on Daddy and Ethan from time to time. I saw how much it pleased them, as well as Uncle Perry. He spent almost every weekend with us during the months that followed.
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