My words came out muffled as I cursed into his chest. ‘What the hell are you doing?’
He pushed me away, pressing a single finger to my lips. ‘For once, be quiet, Girly.’
I shook my head, meaning to say no, but failing. His enthralling eyes had caught mine and with a pained, creased brow, he took my hand in his and gently began rubbing his thumb across my skin, tracing the raised veins.
‘I can’t promise you everything will be okay, because I know it won’t. I can’t promise that you will make it out of this human, because chances are you won’t. Time is running out and soon you’ll have to make the decision. You have to choose.’
‘Do I even get a choice?’ I murmured, still lost within the piercing eyes. He shrugged his shoulders half-heartedly.
‘Maybe.’
I closed my eyes, nodding solemnly. His cool breath tickled my ear, as his icy hands reached up and touched my burning, scarlet cheeks. He turned my head to face him, resting his forehead against mine. Outside the wind whistled and the permanently grey clouds of England rolled past. Inside there was deathly silence, shadows moving across us.
‘Girly … Violet,’ Kaspar whispered, choking on his own words. ‘I should have killed you in Trafalgar Square. I didn’t. And now you face the consequences and I-I’m sorry … so sorry,’ he breathed, a single fang biting at his lower lip.
I sucked in a breath, instinctively leaning in to the hand cradling my cheek. ‘You wish I was dead? Because I don’t.’
‘No.’
I exhaled sharply, pulling his hand away from my cheek, placing it again at his side. Fighting back tears I spoke. ‘Why are you like this? Why do you hate me one second, and then the next it seems like you care? For God’s sake, why?’
His fang broke through the skin of his lips and blood erupted from the wound, trickling across his lips. It coated his skin in a glossy layer, a salty stench making my nostrils flare, part in disgust, part in intrigue.
Leaning in, my hands worked their way towards his neck, tracing his collar, entwining themselves within his dark hair. I licked my lips in anticipation as forbidden emotions gushed within my system and my voice screamed.
Don’t do it! You’re not a bloody vampire yet!
But I didn’t stop. All I had was the desire to be wanted; to be cared about, and I had found that in Kaspar, just for a second.
We weren’t even an inch apart when I paused, my heart racing and leaping as I looked up to meet his eyes, which I thought for a moment, a single, brief moment had flashed to red, yet they were their usual emerald as his hands reached for my waist.
Leaning in, he murmured as his lips met mine. ‘I’m like this because I am just as torn up as you.’
With that he was gone, leaving me with his blood trickling from my lips.
I felt a cold breeze on my face and opening my eyes, I realized I was actually not in the car. A bitter wind whipped at my face, blowing my hair like it did the stormy clouds. I rested against the door, breathing deeply.
I slid my fingers across my chin, feeling the blood smear across my skin. Gagging, my legs lost their strength as horrific feelings filled my heart. What on earth just happened? I couldn’t believe I had just tried to kiss him. Kiss him!
Moreover, I was alone, cast off in the middle of nowhere – the car was parked at the side of an immaculately maintained drive surrounded by a long, low box hedge.
I didn’t have time to notice much more as several cars pulled up behind. I jerked my head towards the sound of dying engines and recognized the cars of the others, which Kaspar had overtaken on the motorway. Fabian jumped out of his Audi and darted towards me, pulling me into a tight hug. I collapsed into his arms, glad of the comfort they brought. He tugged me closer, until my face was buried in his jacket, muttering into my ear.
‘It’s okay. He shouldn’t have left you …’
I nodded obediently, deciding it would be better to not mention that that was not the source of my distress.
‘Where’s he gone?’ I murmured, looking up at him
His eyes flashed red. ‘You’re bleeding!’ he exclaimed.
My eyes widened as I remembered the sticky red liquid coating my lips and quickly reached up to wipe it away. But before I could get to it, Fabian had caught my wrist, holding it in midair. My fingers brushed his lips involuntarily as he sniffed at the air.
‘I-it’s not your blood, is it?’
I looked guiltily at the floor, unable to hide the truth, let alone meet his eyes.
‘Violet?’
I shook my head. ‘I’m sorry.’
There was the shifting of feet, the whispers of the wind and two heart-rending words. ‘Don’t be.’
I wrenched my head up. His face had fallen and his eyes were grey. He nodded. He nodded because he knew even before I did, that I had made one of my many decisions.
I’ve chosen Kaspar. Not even Fabian’s look of betrayal could change that. I didn’t even know what choosing one or the other meant, but it had to be done.
As I thought that, he turned away, walking back over to Lyla.
FORTY
Violet
‘Vampires take the tube? Seriously?’
‘Keep your voice down,’ Cain hissed, tugging me towards the ticket office. I tried to point out that we could use the machines, but he was having none of it. Reaching the glass of the office, we were faced with the accusing glare of a ticket woman, who I knew from experience was wondering why we hadn’t just gone to a machine.
‘Hi.’ Cain turned around and silently began counting everyone, then puzzling over the ticket types. ‘Could we have seven adult day anytime travelcards for Zone 1 and the same for a child, please.’
The woman peered cynically through the glass. ‘Who’s the child?’
Cain looked puzzled for a moment. ‘I am.’
I peered sideways at Cain. He was sixteen and should be paying an adult fare. He’s a millionaire vampire Prince and he is seriously trying to save a couple of quid on the tube?
‘ID, please,’ she droned. I frowned; I didn’t know many sixteen-year-olds that carried ID around. But sure enough, Cain pulled his wallet from his jeans pocket, flipped it open and revealed some sort of ID with a fake date of birth in the top corner. She didn’t hang around: taking the note Cain was offering her and printing off the tickets.
‘Sucker,’ Cain chuckled, allowing the ticket barrier to swallow his ticket. Sidestepping a hurried business woman, I followed.
‘You have fake ID that makes you younger?’ I quizzed, slightly shocked as we descended the elevator, keeping to the right to allow rushed commuters to pass.
He smirked. ‘Not only that makes me younger.’ He flipped the card over and there, on the back, was another ID pro-claiming that he was eighteen.
I shook my head in wonderment at what money could buy as I felt a familiar gust of cold air. Sure enough, a second later a tube emerged from the dark tunnel. Almost elbowing a man out of the way, I pulled Cain through the open doors, trusting the others to get on themselves.
As more and more people got on we were both thrust against a bin. In just seconds every inch of space was occupied and the sound of the racket of wheels in motion took over, save for the thumping bass of some inconsiderate soul who refused to turn their music down.
‘Man, it’s like being surrounded by a hundred-course dinner.’ Cain’s face was twisted slightly and he bit down hard on his lip, just like Kaspar did when he tried to resist temptation. I frowned and took a fairy step closer towards him. By this time we were accelerating, and out of practice using the tube I teetered off balance, almost crashing into Cathy, Lyla’s friend.
‘It’s okay,’ I murmured. ‘Oxford Circus is only three stops along.’
‘Suppose,’ he replied, clearly trying to control himself. He didn’t say another word for two stops, until we were just pulling away with a jolt from Warren Street.
A minute or two later we came to a halt and, grabbing Cain by the wrist, I
pulled him out onto the platform of Oxford Circus. Buffeted by hundreds of rushing commuters and tourists we headed towards the escalator, slipping up the left side this time. I tugged him through the ticket barrier behind me before he even had a chance to get his own ticket from his pocket, earning myself a disapproving look from one of the men supervising. Spotting an alcove, I headed for it.
‘You really need to hunt, don’t you?’ Spotting Fabian and the others dodging the crowd moving the other way, I suddenly had an idea.
He nodded weakly. ‘I’ve never been in a crowd like that.’
When Fabian arrived, I grabbed him. ‘Is there somewhere inconspicuous around here that you can go to, to you know?’ I jerked my head towards Cain. ‘Hunt,’ I finished in an undertone. Fabian nodded, refusing to meet my eyes. My heart seemed to fall a thousand feet: he could not even look at me now.
‘You boys go then and us girls will hit the shops.’ I grimaced. Talk about sacrifice.
Fabian agreed and started to walk away, but Cain hung back, pulling something from his wallet.
‘Here, you’ll need this.’
I looked down at the little rectangle of plastic in his palm. I raised an eyebrow. ‘Is that yours?’
He attempted a smile. ‘No. I borrowed it off a certain someone a while ago.’
Comprehension dawned. ‘Can I max that thing out?’ I asked, an understanding smirk broadening on my face.
‘You can try. But his account is pretty much bottomless,’ Cain explained. Taking a step forward he whispered the pin number into my ear. ‘Knock yourself out.’ He winked and set off in pursuit of the others.
I followed Lyla and Cathy out of the station, facing the prospect of a Kaspar-free day: a day free of his mind tricks and unavoidable attraction. It was liberating as I realized that now he was gone, my spirits had lifted. Whatever he was doing to me, whatever he was making me feel … I didn’t like it and it was frustratingly hard to resist.
Stepping out into the bustling streets of London, I inhaled the familiar stench of exhaust fumes and exotic food from every country imaginable. All around me people spoke in their own accents and native tongues and it was like music to my ears. I’d been surrounded by stiff-upper-lip posh accents for too long.
I beamed, feeling as though I was walking on air. I’m home.
Cain and Declan caught up with us outside Harrods, where Lyla and Cathy had spent endless hours. I had passed the time by donating to every single charity the department store supported, all using Kaspar’s debit card. At first it filled me with glee, but the thrill of revenge quickly waned and I started to feel bad – even if he had kissed me.
My stomach saved the two boys from having to view every one of Lyla’s purchases by growing loudly.
‘What the heck was that?’
I blushed. ‘That was my stomach. I’m hungry.’
Cain screwed up his face. ‘Human stomachs growl when they are hungry? Wow! They never taught us that one at Vampirs. So what do you want to eat? ’Cause we’re kind of full, if you catch my drift.’ He winked cheekily at me, and I thought for a moment.
I grinned. ‘I’d die for some chips.’
A few minutes later and I was opening up a greasy sheet of newspaper, the luscious smell of salt and vinegar filled my nostrils. Stepping out the takeaway I could still smell the stench of burning fat in the fryers and raw fish coated in batter. Waiting for the others, I took a single bite of one fat, crispy, piping-hot chip.
Now this was better than cheese sandwiches.
Trying not to burn my mouth I chewed the potato, swallowing and wincing as it burnt my throat instead. Cain stepped out into the fresh air closely followed by Fabian, both holding large portions.
‘Full, eh?’ I smiled, seeing the rest of the boys stepping out too with ridiculous amounts of food. It seemed as though Lyla and Cathy were boycotting the fat, each with a bottle of Diet Coke in hand and no food.
‘So, where do you want to go? Because I can’t eat standing up,’ I prompted.
Cain shrugged his shoulders. ‘Embankment?’
I nodded in agreement. Following Cain and not really focusing, I didn’t notice when Fabian fell in step beside me.
‘Can I talk to you? In private?’ he added, watching as Cain turned and glanced from one of us to the other.
‘Err, sure,’ I replied hesitantly, silently begging Cain with my eyes to object. He gave me one last apologetic look before walking off, closely followed by the other five. As Lyla passed she glared at me, arms crossed defensively across her chest.
Suddenly finding the pavement extremely interesting, I hid behind my hair, praying he would not see the fiery blush tainting my cheeks. Brushing my toe across a crack in the stone he spoke.
‘What happened earlier?’ His voice was unnaturally calm and controlled, as though he was barely containing his temper – something I suspected I had never truly seen.
‘Earlier?’
‘With Kaspar.’
I sighed. I should have known. Of course Fabian would want to know why I had his blood on my lips; why Kaspar had disappeared, which I did not even know the answer to myself. Hates the tube, my arse.
‘Nothing,’ I exhaled, knowing my ploy to lie would not last long.
He took a step closer, towering above me. And in the narrow side-street, surrounded by tall town buildings, the low hum of traffic just a few streets over, the grey, unexciting skies hovering above me, I felt extremely small. Extremely insignificant.
‘Just tell me, Violet.’
‘We stopped at that place and Kaspar, he seemed distracted, and suddenly he just pulled me towards him, a-and we talked, and then …’ I trailed off.
‘Go on.’
‘He cut his lip, and I sort of, well, we-we kissed,’ I said, surprised at how eager I was to tell someone; anyone. My head dropped to the floor because I knew I could not face seeing his expression at that moment. ‘But only for a second and then he disappeared.’
A small, strained voice cut through the silence. ‘Why?’
‘I-I don’t know … his blood just sort of … sent me crazy, and I couldn’t stop it.’ Taking a peep up towards him, I saw him too looking at the ground. ‘What happened to me, Fabian? I-I didn’t want that!’
Lies, my voice breathed.
‘I don’t know. But … tell me the truth. Do you feel anything when I do this?’
‘Do what?’
He took a step towards me and tilted my chin to the side.
‘This.’
Planting his lips on mine, everything forbidden, wrong and immoral came flooding back. And that was just me wishing it was not Fabian’s lips on mine, but Kaspar’s.
As my lips moved in time to his of their own accord I felt the wave of gushing love, longing, need and most of all happiness. Yet all the while … it just wasn’t the same.
I knew that when we broke apart, that would be it and I would return to thinking of him as nothing more than a friend. And I knew that I was hurting him by allowing him to kiss me. Yet still my hands snaked around his neck, clutching the little bag of chips, pulling him down, closer. All of a sudden he broke away, holding me at arms length, hope gleaming in his eyes.
‘Anything?’
‘Yes. But …’ I heard his breath quicken. ‘I’m sorry, but it’s only ever when I kiss you. I don’t … it’s not … I’m sorry, Fabian, but I never have and never will think of you as more than a friend, and I don’t know why because you’re so nice, and you treat me so well …’
And Kaspar doesn’t, my voice offered.
‘I just don’t love you. I’m sorry … I don’t know what happens when I kiss you.’
He closed his eyes. ‘You experience what every other human would when they kiss a vampire. It’s how we seduce our prey … sometimes. And no, it’s not love,’ he said. Impassively. Unemotionally. But underneath I could hear the strained tone in his voice, the true measure of how much he was hurting.
‘And not what a relationship should be
based on.’
Instantly, I regretted what I had said. Fabian’s expression dropped from unreadable to rage in mere seconds.
‘And what you and Kaspar have is? Should a relationship be based on lust, blood and desire? Is that what you want, Violet?!’ he thundered, taking a step closer to me as I did the same.
‘Who said anything about a relationship?’
‘No one. Nothing. Nothing but the way you act!’
‘I don’t want a relationship. Not with a vampire, not with anyone! I had enough of men when my last boyfriend cheated on me, remember?’ I screeched, breathing heavily, madly gesturing with my hands which were curled into fists, flinging the bag of chips around at precarious speed.
‘Don’t lie to me! You want him, and you know it.’ His eyes narrowed. ‘But hear me, Violet. When he breaks your heart, don’t come running to me, because I won’t have a heart to spare. Remember that.’
With that he turned and fled, leaving nothing behind but a whipped wind.
‘I won’t let my heart get broken, idiot,’ I murmured after him. I leaned up against the railings of a nearby house, undoubtedly split up into flats and allowed myself to cool down. After a few deep breaths, panic set in.
Why the hell do I prefer Kaspar when he was such an arse, plainly put? Okay, an arse with his moments, but cruel all the same?
You prefer him, because like you said, it’s not just because of the seduction that you kissed him, is it, Violet? my voice probed, in it’s usual taunting manner. Just follow your heart. What is the first name that comes into your head?
I sighed. ‘Kaspar.’
My voice chuckled. Then you made the right decision.
I closed my eyes, feeling stupid for seeking reassurance from a voice in my head. Yet I knew it was right. Because I knew I felt something for him, despite what he was, and despite the abuse I had put up with from all corners.
A shallow summary it was, but I wondered how I had rejected the good guy and found myself increasingly attracted to the jerk of a vampire prince. Who kidnapped me. My life is one messed up cliché of a story.
Dinner With a Vampire Page 23
