I want them to be true, I want him to not need anything or anybody else but me. I want to believe every single thing he’s telling me.
“What you do give me is all I need. I don’t need anything else.”
His words repeat in my head as I look up at him, into his chocolate eyes. Whatever this is between us, its fate, it has to be. Fate three years in the making.
If I tell him no, if I tell him to leave, I might miss out on the most wonderful thing to ever happen to me. I’ve wanted it, wanted him, for three years. He’s here, and he’s offering me exactly what I want this time—him. All of him.
“Hey, Hattie,” a deep voice says from behind me.
I turn slowly and widen my eyes at the man walking up the staircase. He’s huge, like linebacker huge, with a beard. His arms are bigger around than my waist.
He’s gigantic.
I recognize him from the party Johnny took me to, but I don’t remember his name, just that he’s married to Brentlee. I never saw him up close. I didn’t know he was as big as a brick wall.
“Uhhh,” I say, unsure as to why he knows my name.
“This is Sniper, one of my brothers, remember?” Johnny mutters behind me.
“Hello,” I say, offering my hand out to shake his.
“I’m heading inside,” he grins as he shakes my hand and gives me a wink before he’s gone, slipping through the front door of my apartment.
“He’s married,” Johnny grunts behind me. I turn to face him again and can tell that something’s wrong. He looks angry.
“Okay...”
“So you can put your fuckin’ eyes back in your head,” he growls.
I can’t help myself. I laugh. It isn’t a giggle, it’s a full on laugh a clutch my stomach and almost fall to the floor kind of laugh. I feel delirious and light headed but I can’t help it.
He’s jealous.
I find it the most amusing thing in the entire world. Johnny. Jealous. I suck in a breath trying to stop my uncontrollable laughter but I can’t seem to calm down.
“I’m s-s-s-sorry,” I stutter.
After all of the drama and fear that I’ve faced over the past twenty-four hours, it feels good to laugh, even if Johnny’s head looks like it’s about to explode.
He turns to leave me where I am, but I grab his wrist and pull him off balance. Then I jump into his arms, wrapping my own around his neck, and I kiss him.
I press my mouth to his and slide my tongue between his lips. He stands stock still for a moment and then his hand tangles in my hair at the back of my head, and his other one grabs a handful of my ass. I moan pressing myself closer to him.
“I only want you, Johnny,” I murmur against his lips.
“You get only me, Hattie,” he grunts before he takes my mouth again.
“Sorry to interrupt, but we got three fuckheads we need to question. Prospects are on their way in a van to cleanup. Your girl needs to pack her shit up,” a big, tall, handsome, blonde man says.
I remember him from the party, too. He’s Kentlee’s husband, but again, I’ve forgotten his name.
“You get that situation outta her room?” Johnny asks.
“You mean that dead asshole?” I ask, arching a brow.
The big blonde man chuckles before he turns to Johnny and nods.
“Don’t look in your dining area, you’ll be all right,” he grins.
“Well, now I’ll want to look,” I say, furrowing my brow.
“Princess, don’t be a smartass,” Johnny grumbles.
“I like her, Dirty. Liked her the other night, like her even more now. She’ll get along with the Old Ladies, no problem,” he says before he winks his blue eye at me and turns away.
“You need to pack up your shit. Take what’s the most important to you because you probably won’t ever be back here,” he announces.
“What about my furniture and dishes and stuff like that?” I ask in confusion as he set’s me down on my feet. I follow behind him through the men loitering around my small living area.
“Present to your landlord.”
“I spent my own hard earned money on all this stuff, Johnny. I can’t just leave it here,” I inform him as we enter my room.
There’s one of my favorite blankets, soaked with blood, covering where the man who held me hostage was murdered.
“Whatever you want, Hattie, it’s yours. That means, you want a kitchen full of dishes and shit, you pick it out and I’ll buy it for you. Whatever you want, you’ll have the best,” he mutters.
“I can’t let you do that,” I whisper.
Johnny’s head dips down and he presses his lips to mine.
“Princess, you deserve it all and more. Whatever I can give you, it’s yours,” he murmurs before he places his lips gently against mine.
“I’m feeling like this is all happening so fast,” I mutter.
“Warp-speed, princess, get used to that. It’s kind of how I operate,” he grins with a wink. “Now, pack up your personal shit and I’ll be right back. Got to talk to the guys.”
I watch as he walks out of the room, leaving me alone with a pool of blood and a smile playing on my lips, my heart beating ridiculously out of control. I try to ignore the blood, and think about everything he’s said the past few minutes.
He’s offering my dream on a silver platter, every single part of it. Desserts and him. I’ve never wanted anything else. I don’t know him completely yet.
I could hate him, but there’s something that screams at me to trust my gut. Trust my sixteen-year-old self who trusted him completely.
He’s had my back more than once. He’s protected me, and now he’s saved me.
Not only has he saved me from the men who held me hostage, but also from being essentially homeless, and he doesn’t even know it.
“Leap, Hattie. Jump and don’t look back,” I whisper to myself as I open my duffle bag and start to shove clothes inside.
I don’t have a ton of personal things or mementos. My parents have everything from my childhood still at home, so clothes and shoes are the only things I’m packing, aside from my laptop. I rush around the room as quickly as possible, and then freeze when I get to my dresser.
There is a picture of Willa and me with our arms around each other. We’re fifteen, maybe sixteen in the photo. I’m smiling huge, all goofy and bright eyed. She has a smirk on her face, but she doesn’t look happy. Not that she ever has.
“You talk to her?” Johnny asks as he rests his chin on my shoulder. I jump slightly, startled by his entrance.
“No, not since that day in front of my apartment with you,” I admit, not taking my eyes from the photograph.
“This shit settles down, we’ll get you two handled,” he whispers before his lips touch right below my ear.
“I don’t think I want us handled, Johnny,” I admit.
“Why’s that? You’ve been friends your whole life, princess,” he murmurs against my neck as his hands rest on my hips.
“I don’t think she’s a true friend. She ditches me in unsafe situations after putting me there in the first place. She put me down in front of you to make herself look better and she aided in me losing my job. That’s just in the past two weeks. It’s run its course,” I murmur.
“Whatever you want, Hattie. If something changes and you want to mend that fence, I’m cool with it,” he says. A smile forms on my lips.
I don’t know that I’ll ever get tired of Johnny offering me whatever I want. To a girl who has been told what to do her entire life, doing whatever I want feels—liberating.
Though I’m under no illusion that he won’t freak out if I try to do something he doesn’t approve of, he’s still offering me a support I’ve never had before. I find it intriguing.
“Van’s here, baby,” he says.
“My bag’s ready,” I say, pointing at the stuffed full duffle.
“What else you need?” he asks, stepping away from me and looking from the bag to me.
“Nothing,” I shrug.
“You sure?” he asks.
“Just my bathroom stuff, which I’m going to put in this backpack,” I mutter.
“Go ahead, then we’ll get you outta here,” he says as he throws my bag over his shoulder. “Oh, hey, you’re going to be riding on the bike back to Bonners Ferry. Do you have something you can change into?”
“Yeah,” I say.
I quickly run to my closet and pull down a pair of faded, holey jeans, a tank top, and a sweater. I wasn’t planning on taking the jeans because they’ve seen better days, but they’ll be perfect for a long ride on the back of Johnny’s bike.
I run to the bathroom with my clothes and my backpack. I quickly change and throw everything I could possibly need in the backpack—my curing iron, my makeup, shampoo, and conditioner.
I don’t know when I’ll be to the store again, or when I’ll have money to buy more, so I want to make sure I take anything I’ll need in the near future.
Once I step out of my bathroom, I hurry back to the bedroom and grab an old pair of converse tennis shoes that haven’t seen the light of day since high school.
I quickly slip them on and hurry out of my bedroom. The pool of blood is still there, and it’s becoming too familiar. I need to leave.
“Ready?” Johnny asks, looking up from his phone.
The apartment is empty, no more good or bad bikers. It’s now just me and Johnny. I look up at him and smile as I nod. I’m ready. I’m ready for it all. Ready to start the new chapter of my life. A new chapter that apparently my mother is accepting—which I still don’t understand.
Closing the door behind me, with no intentions of ever going back, seems final. Really final. Then I look at Johnny’s hand wrapped around mine and his concerned chocolate eyes, which are focused completely on me, and I know I’ve made the right decision for me.
Three years in the making, and I’m getting my fantasy come to life.
Johnny.
DIRTY JOHNNY
Hattie’s lookin’ up at me like I’m the center of her whole world. I guess, at this point—I am.
I just want her to be happy, and I’m going to make that possible. Being without her, and then fearing that I could have lost her forever, that was the kick in the ass I needed to get my woman back.
Three years I fantasized about her. Three long, fucking years. I only had her for a week, and I managed to fuck it all up.
Now that I have a second chance, I’m taking her with me, and I’m going to be what she needs. I already know that she’s all I need. Being without her proved that. Now, I just have to keep her. I have to figure out how to not fuck it up again.
“I’m ready,” she says quietly, so faintly that I almost don’t hear her.
“Gonna make you happy, Hattie,” I murmur.
She doesn’t respond with words. Instead, she rises onto her tip toes and places a gentle kiss on my lips before she starts to walk toward the van in her parking lot.
“Ready?” Torch asks, looking from me to Hattie.
“Yeah,” I say with a nod.
“She gonna ride shotgun in the van, or on the back of your bike?” Fury asks as he slams the back of the van doors closed. It’s chilly and it’s getting on into the end of fall, but I need her close to me.
“Bike,” Hattie announces with a giant grin on her face.
“Gimmie the bag then, sweetheart,” Fury murmurs. I watch as Hattie hands him her backpack.
“It’s gonna be cold Hattie, are you sure?” I ask in concern.
She’s only got on a sweater and some holey ass, ratty jeans. I mean, they look fucking hot as shit, but she won’t be protected from the cold.
I don’t know why I’m suddenly so fucking concerned, but I want to keep her protected from—everything.
“I want to be with you, Johnny,” she says, looking up at me.
I see a little of that fear from earlier creep into her eyes and I know that she needs to feel safe. She won’t feel that way in an enclosed van with the men who held her hostage.
I wrap my hand around her waist and tuck her into my side. Her body immediately relaxes, and her head rests on my shoulder.
A few minutes later, the van leaves and we walk down the street and around the corner toward the parked motorcycles. Hattie climbs on behind me and fits herself to my back.
Three years ago, she was frightened and held on for dear fucking life as we rode away from that gas station. Now, she’s probably just as scared, except she trusts me.
“Ready, princess?” I ask as I tap her hands that are wrapped around my middle.
“Yeah,” she calls out in my ear, over the rumbling engine of the bike.
I signal to my brothers that we’re good to go. We pull out, one by one, following each other. Hattie has shit to deal with, her parents and her brother, but for now—she’s safe. Her safety is all that matters at this point.
I can keep her safe, I can protect her, and I can help her.
Chapter Seventeen
HATTIE
I should have gone in the van.
I’m freezing my ass off and trying to crawl into Johnny’s skin. It’s so damn cold on this ride back to Bonners Ferry.
My fingers feel like icicles.
The road is long, and although the bikes are moving fast down the stretch, it’s still an hour ride, and it’s freaking freezing. I wouldn’t be surprised one bit if it started to snow. Winter is officially here.
I say a prayer of thanks as soon as the clubhouse comes into view. I notice that we’ve bypassed the town completely by taking the back roads through the country.
I can’t wait to get off of the bike and inside. When we step off of Johnny’s motorcycle, I look around and notice that the parking lot is completely full of bikes and cars.
“Is there a party?” I ask. I rub my hands over my arms in a sad effort to warm up.
“Lockdown,” he grunts.
“Lockdown?” I ask in confusion.
“There was a reason you were held hostage, princess,” he starts to explain.
I suck in a breath when he wraps his arms around me. Then he pulls me into his body as he rubs his warm hands up and down my back.
“What was the reason?” I ask, looking up into his dark eyes.
“Blackmail,” he says as his way of explanation.
“For?”
I hope he’ll give me more.
“That is not anything for you to worry about,” he murmurs before he brushes his lips against mine.
“If these guys are after me, I think I have a right to know why,” I say, narrowing my eyes on him.
“I’m seein’ you don’t know anything about the life, so I’ll school you a bit. The rest you can learn from the other Old Lady’s. You don’t get to know anything about the workings of the club. You know what I tell you, and you don’t ask any questions,” he explains.
“I’m not allowed to know anything?” I ask in disbelief.
“Not a single fuckin’ thing. That includes where I go, or what I do. If I say it’s business, then that’s more than some Old Lady’s get to know,” he informs, completely unapologetically.
“So if you’re with another woman, I’ll never know?” I ask, chewing on my bottom lip before I add, “which means we’re exactly where we left off.”
Johnny sighs and looks away from me; then he quickly moves his hand to cup my cheek, and his thumb pulls my lip from between my teeth before his forehead rests against mine.
We stay like this for several breaths before he speaks. When he does, it’s low and rumbly, full of what I can only describe as tremendous emotion—something he thinks he doesn’t possess, but I see it in him.
“Just you, Hattie. Only you,” he exhales. “I know what it’s like to have you, even if it was only for a short time—but I also know what it’s like to lose you, and, princess, I can’t lose you again.”
I close my eyes and let his words sink in. His beautiful words. Well, beautiful for him. This ma
n, this hard and dangerous man, this man that only follows the rules of his club, not society or convention—he wants me. He wants only me, and he wants to give me my fantasy come to life.
Will being his be difficult? Yes.
Will it be worth it? I hope.
Will I know unless I give in and try? Absolutely not.
“Okay,” I whisper.
Without hesitation his lips crash against mine and he takes me in a hard, relentless, owning kiss. I feel his tongue sweep against the seam of my lips and I open for him, taking him inside of me.
It’s as if he’s telling me everything he can’t verbalize in this kiss, showing me and owning me all at once.
I wrap my arms around his neck and pull myself closer to him. When his big hands wrap around my ass, I’m done—completely done.
I whimper when he breaks the kiss, but instead of lifting his head, he kisses my jawline, all the way to my ear. He nips the lobe of my ear before he speaks.
“Come inside, Hattie, before I fuck you out here in the cold.”
I don’t say a word. I shiver. Yes, it’s cold, but more importantly, I want that. I want him.
Without saying anything else, Johnny picks me up. I quickly wrap my legs around his waist and look at him in the eyes. They’re focused, dark, but not angry, instead very intense.
As soon as we walk through the doors of the clubhouse, I hear cheering. I bury my face in Johnny’s neck as his body shakes with laughter.
I peek one eye out to look at the room and notice that there aren’t any naked bodies, not one. The room is filled with men, women, and children.
The whores are nowhere to be seen, and it just looks like a family party, not a motorcycle club hangout. Lockdown. This is what he meant. All of the women and children are brought to safety until whatever the threat is is gone.
Johnny quickly carries me to his room, and once we’re locked inside, he takes me over to the bed and lays me down. I wait for him to slide off of me and start to undress, but he doesn’t.
His hips are fitted between my thighs, and his elbows are propped up on either side of my face. Instead of kissing me or trying to touch me, he just stares at me.
Notorious Devils MC Complete Collection: BoxSet Page 71
