“What’s going on?” I gestured around the park with my fork. “What’s this for?”
Stella laughed. “It’s for you, silly. Your ‘welcome to the pack’ feast.”
I stared at her for a few moments, unable to speak past the sudden tightness in my throat. I’d never so much as had a birthday party in my life. At most, Wesley and Mira would give me gifts and wish me happy birthday, but Dad had never seen much point in celebrating something that he saw as a mistake. No one else had bothered to take the time, either.
“This…” I paused, a sudden wave of emotion overwhelming me. It was too much. I’d never belonged to this extent before. I still could hardly believe it. I was part of the Ophiuchus pack, and I had a family now.
Stella seemed to understand what I was feeling, because she locked arms with me and led me over to a quieter part of the park, away from most of the people. “I’m sorry I wasn’t able to tell you about the test. I felt so bad, just sending you into that without any warning. And then you were attacked... I should have been there."
"It's all right." Now that the anger had faded, I understood Kaden's actions a little better. Kaden's priority was the pack, and he had to make sure I was loyal before he could completely trust me to be a part of it. He'd given me the option to run away, and I suspected he'd remained behind during the test so I wouldn't be swayed in any way by him being there. "I'm just glad no one got injured."
"Usually there would have been even more tests, you know," she said. "It usually takes a year or two to get an invite to the pack. But since you defended the others and saved Harper's life, Kaden told the pack elders that no further tests were required."
I tilted my head as I considered what she'd said. The Cancer pack had elders too, which were supposed to advise my father, though he usually ignored them. It sounded like the Ophiuchus elders might have more sway here. But the more pressing question was, had Kaden known we might be attacked? Had he planned it this way all along so I'd get accepted into the pack faster?
“I'm so happy you get to join us,” Stella said, reaching forward and squeezing my hand.
“Me too."
Another group of shifters came forward, and I recognized Clayton’s mate, Grant, among them. “Welcome to the pack,” he said and shook my hand as if this was a job interview. "I knew you'd pass the tests too."
I remembered that he'd been an outsider too, and wondered how long it had taken him. Before I could ask about his own tests, other shifters came forward to say hello to me, and I flashed big smiles at all of them, trying to remember everyone's names.
I could get used to this, I decided after a few more people came up to introduce themselves. Their enthusiasm was a bit overwhelming, but it was so nice feeling like I belonged somewhere. Somewhere where no one had ever even mentioned my half-human side, or my red hair, or treated me like dirt. Yes, I could definitely get used to this.
"So am I an official member, just like that?" I asked once we had a moment alone again.
"Not yet. You need to go through the initiation ritual. Then you'll be a true member of the pack."
“What is the ritual?” I asked, my heartbeat picking up at the thought. How did they do it, with no Sun Witches to perform the spell?
Stella just gave me a mysterious smile. “You'll see. It’s nothing bad, don’t worry.”
Anytime someone told me not to worry it only made me worry more. I sighed and finished up my food, but this time when I looked up I found Kaden staring at me. I hadn't seen him up until now, and when he turned away to talk to Clayton, I let my eyes linger on his profile. Need fluttered inside my stomach, but it was different from the other night. There was no heat forcing it this time. It was all me.
He looked back and I held his gaze, even as I felt my cheeks color at getting caught staring. Even from this distance, sparks flew between us, and I suddenly found it harder to breathe. Or sit still. I forced myself to look away again, even as I felt his gaze on the back of my neck. Heart pounding, I found myself glancing back, my eyes drawn back to him without fail, even as I conversed with several other shifters.
We were drawn to each other, there was no question about it. I wanted to go to him, to figure out exactly what he was thinking as he stared at me like that, but there wasn’t time in between all of the conversations. Stella thankfully stayed by my side and helped me not get overwhelmed. I glanced over at Kaden as Stella finished introducing me to the mother of one of her students.
Too bad he isn’t my true mate, I thought again, and a wave of sadness rolled through me at the realization. He was everything an alpha should be, and I couldn't deny the way I felt about him. But no, I’d gotten that psychopath Jordan instead. The world really isn’t fair, is it? I thought with a sigh and then turned back when a small hand tugged at my own.
I grinned down at the little shifter beaming up at me and shoved the sadness away. Now wasn’t the time to be thinking about that. I’d gotten everything else I wanted—a family, a home, and a pack where I could feel accepted and safe. I should be celebrating, not pining for the one thing I didn’t get.
Finally, after what seemed like hours of endless introductions and a wash of faces that all blended into one, Kaden called for silence. The moon was high in the night sky, still almost full, and it cast enough light over everyone gathered. He held something in his hands, a long object that looked kind of like a staff. The pack gathered around, and Kaden stopped in front of me.
“Ayla Beros, do you wish to become a true member of the Ophiuchus pack?” he asked.
I took a closer look at the staff. It was made of metal and there was a strange ridge on it, spiraling all the way down. A snake, I realized as he tilted it up. I swallowed hard and said, "Yes, I do."
At my words, the bronze began shifting, and I took an involuntary step back as the snake came alive. I could tell it wasn’t real, something born of magic, but I didn’t want it coming anywhere near me.
“What’s that?” I asked as Kaden brought it closer to me. “No, thank you. I don't do snakes."
Kaden gave me a hard look. “Don’t be a chicken. Hold out your arm.”
I grimaced and held my arm out. He touched the staff to my palm and the snake slithered onto it. It felt cool, like the metal it was made from. He guided the snake to wrap around my arm, and then let the tail end of it coil around his own arm. It was almost like the ritual with the Sun Witches, where they tied the mated pairs together. I doubted the cloth felt like cold snakeskin, though. I shuddered, and then Kaden began speaking. I forgot my discomfort as he began the oath.
“Do you swear to uphold loyalty to the Ophiuchus Pack until your last breath?” he asked. “To become one with the pack and its members, giving up your birth pack, never to look back to them for guidance or support?”
Not a problem, I thought, before I said, “I do."
Kaden's voice was low as he continued the ritual. “Repeat after me: I, Ayla Beros, accept the offering of the snake.”
I repeated his words, and the snake tightened its hold around me, pressing Kaden’s fingers into my arm almost hard enough to bruise. The snake looked up at me, eyes dull and clearly not alive, but I had the sense that something in there was giving me an appraising look. Then, faster than I could think to pull away, it struck, sinking its fangs into my upper arm. I jumped and let out a surprised, "Ow!"
Kaden’s fingers tightened against my arm, him this time, not the snake. “Hold still.” A moment later, the snake drew back and flicked a tongue out at me before sliding back down my arm. “You’re a part of the pack now.”
Kaden released me, and I watched as the twin bites faded into a glowing Ophiuchus symbol, the same mark that adorned every other shifter in the pack. At the same time, I felt the poison from the snake’s bite seeping into my veins, and I had a moment of panic before I realized it didn’t hurt. I could feel it merging into my bloodstream, making me stronger.
I twisted my arm to look at the pack mark better. I glanced up to meet Kade
n’s eyes, and there was nothing but satisfaction in his gaze.
I was one of the snake bearers now.
Chapter Twenty-Eight
It was late into the night when the party finally began to wind down. Shifters loved to party at night under the moon, but eventually, most people headed to bed, and now it was our turn.
"Let's go home," Stella said, covering her mouth with a yawn. "I feel like my feet might fall off after all that dancing."
Home. It certainly felt like it now. Although things would change now that I was a full member of the pack. I wouldn't need guards trailing after me anymore, and I would probably have to find another place to live at some point. I couldn't imagine Kaden would want me there for much longer.
“I'm so excited you're one of us now," Stella said, as we walked back to the house. "I’ll have to show you how your poison bite and healing work.”
I blushed as I remembered Kaden’s tongue licking my wound closed. “I know a bit about those already."
"Right, of course. I'm sorry I bit you at the Convergence, but I made sure not to give you too much poison. I just wanted to knock you out, not kill you.”
I almost opened my mouth to correct her but thought better of it. What had happened between Kaden and me should remain between us. I wasn’t sure how much everyone else knew, but I knew that Kaden probably didn’t want it all broadcasted.
“Oh, another good thing," Stella continued. "Becoming a pack member will also stop you from going into heat every month. I know you had some issues with that at the last full moon. Now you'll only have to worry about that once a year.”
"That's a relief." Once a year was much more manageable. Except... Was that why Kaden had rushed to make me a pack member, to avoid having to deal with me going into heat again? My chest tightened at the thought that this was the real reason he'd fought for me to join so quickly. Not because I deserved it, or because I'd proved myself loyal, but because he didn't want to have to fuck me again next month.
We made it back to the house, and there was no sign of Kaden anywhere, though he'd left the party a while before we did. I wondered where Kaden had gone off to, if he was busy sulking in his room or taking a brooding walk through the forest, doing whatever alphas did to mark the park territory.
I sat on my bed after saying goodnight to Stella and touched the pack mark on my arm. I’d never carried the Cancer symbol, nor had access to the crab armor, but now I felt power running through my veins from the Ophiuchus healing lick and poison bite. I was really one of them, though I had a feeling I would never like snakes the way some of them did.
But did I truly deserve to be one of them?
A thump on my roof startled me. My mind immediately flew to an attack, and my heart started pounding. It came again, and I ran out of my room to see if either Stella or Kaden had heard it. Neither of their doors was open. I looked at Stella’s door and then turned to Kaden’s. I walked up to the door and knocked. “Kaden? Are you in there?”
No answer. I tried the handle. I had never been in his room since I was forbidden to even clean it. The door was unlocked, and I held my breath as I opened it just a crack. No one was inside. I looked around, finding it surprisingly clean and spare, without many personal touches like Stella’s room had. I did see a picture of what must have been his parents sitting on the desk next to a closed laptop.
“Kaden?” I asked again, just to be sure. The sliding door onto the patio was open, and I peered outside. Why was his door open? I walked out onto the balcony and looked up. It was a cloudless night, the stars glimmering brightly, and the moon still cast a pleasant glow over everything. I stared at it for a few moments before something caught my eye. A ladder. I remembered Kaden saying he had a telescope on the roof, and felt silly for thinking an attacker would be able to make it up there without alerting anyone.
I moved to the other side of the balcony where I could see him sitting on a flatter portion of the roof, his eye pressed to the lens of the telescope. On impulse, I climbed up to join him. I had to ask him about the real reason he'd made me a pack member, or I'd never be able to get any sleep.
He didn’t look up at me until I’d settled right beside him, though he must have heard me coming from a mile away. "I told you not to enter my room."
"I heard something and went to investigate." When he only grunted in response, I asked, “What are you looking at?”
“The Ophiuchus constellation is bright tonight." He motioned me forward and leaned away so I could peer through the telescope.
I didn’t know exactly what I was looking for and pulled back. It was just a jumble of bright stars to me. "Pretty."
He shook his head with a scowl. “It’s right underneath the Hercules constellation, which I’m sure you’re more familiar with. Ophiuchus comes from the Greek word that means serpent-bearer. It looks like a man holding a snake.”
“Right." I looked back into the telescope, squinting at the stars and trying to see anything that resembled a man. Kaden was close enough that I felt the heat of his body in the few inches of space that separated us, and it was hard for me to focus on anything else. The fact that he was my alpha now should have made me hesitant, but instead, it only made me crave him more.
When I looked at Kaden, his eyes were fixed on me, their dark depths glittering in the light of the moon. "How does it feel to be one of us now?"
"It feels good," I said. "But Stella told me that now that I'm in the pack I won't go into heat every month."
"That's true."
I lifted my chin and held his gaze. "Kaden, I have to know. Is that the only reason you made me a member of the pack? To stop me from going into heat so often?”
Kaden's jaw clenched as if he hadn’t expected me to be that blunt. “Not the only reason. I’d planned to test you from the moment we captured you, but the full moon did bring the timetable up.”
I huffed. “I knew it was a little too convenient. Would I even be a member now if not for my heat?"
“I did it to protect you,” Kaden growled.
I let out a bitter laugh. "Was it really so bad? What happened between us? Is my body really so repulsive to you?”
Kaden closed his eyes and inhaled sharply. “No. It’s not what you think.”
“Then what?” I reached out and captured Kaden’s jaw in my hand, needing him to open his eyes. I wanted to see the truth in them. He flinched as if my touch had hurt him, and I quickly drew my hand back, my heart breaking at the sight.
I stood up, unable to bear being around his rejection for another second. But as I started to walk away, he rose and took a step toward me.
"Ayla." His hand closed around my wrist, and I turned back to face him. Inside his eyes, I saw my own feelings reflected. Guilt, lust, and no small amount of need. He dragged me closer, and before I even knew what was happening, his lips crashed against mine.
His hand slid up to cup the back of my head, and he pulled me close so our bodies were flush. I groaned into the kiss, melting against him as his lips moved across mine. He held me like I belonged to him, while his tongue stroked my own, an erotic dance that sent heat to my core. Even during our frenzied night of sex, he’d never once kissed me, and now I knew I’d been missing out on something incredible.
I could drown in this forever, I thought as his mouth claimed mine over and over. I couldn't breathe, couldn't think, couldn't move—and couldn't care less. He kissed me like he'd been dying to do this for years, gripping my hair to tilt my head exactly the way he wanted me. He kissed me like he'd fucked me, like he couldn't control himself, like an animal driven by instinct alone—and I kissed him back the same way.
Then Kaden suddenly jerked back, breaking our connection while putting distance between us like he'd been burned. “No. I can't."
I blinked and touched my lips, still tasting him on them. “Can’t, or won’t?”
“Won’t,” Kaden said, shaking his head. “I refuse to be with someone who is mated to someone else. I’ve gone throu
gh that once before, and I will never do it again. It nearly killed me the first time.”
I sucked in a deep breath at the revelation. “I don’t feel anything for my mate. Please, trust me when I say that. I don’t want him. I'd rather die than be with him.”
“It doesn’t matter, the bond will always be there. If Jordan showed up right now and snapped his fingers, you’d run right to his side. It isn’t a matter of wanting him or not.”
I winced. “I wish you had more faith in me than that."
Kaden pinched the bridge of his nose between his fingers before looking back at me, his face haunted. “I was in love once with a girl named Eileen. We were childhood sweethearts, and everyone expected that we’d be mates when we became adults. But the mate bond never appeared between us.” He shook his head. “We decided that it didn’t matter. We’d make it work, and she would be the future alpha female.
“One day we went to trade with the Sagittarius pack. They're the only pack who has ever treated us kindly, and I've worked hard to build a good relationship with them. When the beta of their pack shifted, a mating bond appeared between him and Eileen. She fought it for as long as she could because she wanted to be with me, but it didn’t matter. Our love wasn't enough, in the end. She had to go to her mate.” Kaden looked me dead in the eye, and even though the words were vulnerable, his voice was hard. “It tore us apart, and it got to the point where it hurt for us to even look at each other. She joined the Sagittarius pack and I haven’t seen her since. So no, Ayla, it isn’t that I don’t have faith in you. I’ve been down this road before and I’m never going down it again.”
With those words, he walked past me toward the edge of the roof, while my heart pounded in my throat.
"Kaden, wait—" I said, but he was already gone.
He leaped off the edge of the roof and landed on the grass as if the drop was nothing, then disappeared into the forest behind the house. All I could do was watch him go, while my soul was shattered into a million pieces. What could I have said to him anyway? It was clear he would never believe that I wanted only him. Worst of all, if I was completely honest with myself, I wasn't sure what would happen if I saw Jordan again. The mate bond had faded to a dull hum that I managed to ignore on a daily basis, but I had a feeling if Jordan appeared in front of me it would be a lot harder to resist. I couldn't blame Kaden for not wanting to risk that chance.
Moon Touched (Zodiac Wolves: The Lost Pack Book 1) Page 21
