T: Bitch a little more for me.
R: Oh, I can.
N: Me too! Ella puked on me earlier, and I’m not talking a little bit of spit-up. She went full-on exorcist style. Her head legit spun around. I sympathy-puked. I haven’t done that since Kels was pregnant.
I’m laughing as I work on my reports for the night.
T: There’s no way that sweet little girl is a demon.
N: Man, you didn’t see what came out of her body.
R: You keep that over at your own house, bro. This is what I’m dealing with.
He sends me a picture of Keegan sitting against Rambo, the two of them watching TV.
T: Looks like your dog is doing the watching, and you’re just spending your time bitching.
R: Screw you, man.
T: You’ll be thanking me when your wives have had a nice, relaxing time and are ready to have some fun with you when they get home.
N: We’ll see. Right now Kels refuses to do anything with me after D caught us.
R: Oh shit!
N: Yeah, this house is a nookie-free zone.
A new text comes through. It’s a picture of the three girls, smiles on their faces.
K: We’re ready to go, Tuck. If you’re ready go come get us.
T: Be right there, babe.
I switch back over to the group text.
T: Look alive boys, the ladies requested a pick up.
R: Okay, time to get this baby down!
N: Right? Just told D I have to take a shower.
T: What? No thank you?
R: Fuck you.
N: I’m nicer, we’ll see how the rest of the night goes. IF you’re owed a thank you, you’ll get it tomorrow.
I chuckle, thinking about how different their lives are from when I met them. I don’t think any of us would have it any other way.
Chapter Seventeen
Karsyn
“Thanks for coming with me today.” I get into Tucker’s truck, smoothing my skirt down.
I took a half-day at work, because I’m going to go meet with my new victim advocate. Smarter than I ever gave him credit for, Tucker’s idea of looking through the LSERT got me an attorney who took my case as soon as she heard my problem. Today, I’m going to meet Shelby Bruce.
“No problem.” He reaches over, grabbing my hand with his. “You know I’ll be with you every step of the way.”
“I know, but I’m still nervous.” I worry with my hair, twirling a strand of it around my finger.
“It’s understandable. What are you most nervous about?”
How do I explain to him that I think I’m going to have to relive what happened to me this time? “Telling my story. Previously, the people in Tennessee knew what happened. They remembered it vividly, I never truly had to tell the story. Here, I think most people aren’t going to know, and I’ll have to explain in great detail. Then what if they don’t believe me?”
“They’re going to believe you.”
“It seems like more often than not, the people in jail have more rights than the victim.” I swallow roughly. “I know as an officer of the law, it hurts you to hear that, but it’s true.”
“No, I mean, I get you. Sometimes it does seem like that, but I get the feeling whatever you’re going to talk about, is going to resonate with whoever hears it. You’re so good at conveying your feelings.”
“Not about this.” I run my free hand along my skirt again. “It’s super hard to talk about this, even when I’m prepared. It completely changed my life.”
“Look I’m not going to pretend that I understand, even a little bit, of what you’ve gone through. What I can tell you with confidence is that you’re an amazing woman who speaks eloquently and with a sureness of herself that not many people have these days. You’ve got this, although I’m surprised your parents aren’t here.”
The words bring tears to my eyes. “I hope I do, and I asked them not to come. They still don’t know everything that happened to me, and I just don’t want to break their hearts. They’ve been through enough.”
“First of all, they would still be there for you if you let them, Syn. And secondly, I know you do, because I believe in you, and if I have to do it for the both of us, then that’s fine. I will.”
Who is this Tucker? He’s the one I wanted in the beginning, and he’d disappointed me so much when I opened my heart to him. This is the man I’ve wanted the entire time, the one I need so much right now. “I can’t even begin to tell you how much I appreciate you.”
“This is what a man who loves the woman beside him does, Karsyn, and I’m sorry I made you question that about us.”
I don’t say anything this time, because I can’t. There’s nothing to say that won’t make me cry like a baby. Instead, I hold his hand tighter, looking out the window as we travel into downtown Laurel Springs.
“Where did she say she was?” he asks as he enters the downtown square.
“In the old Fischer Building.” I point to a sign reading Shelby Bruce Attorney At Law.
He gets a parking spot at the front of the building, walking over to help me out.
“We can make a run for it,” he jokes, causing me to grin.
Instead I grab him around the neck, pulling him into me, hugging tightly. “We could, but then he would win.”
“And we can’t let him win,” he finishes.
“We can’t.”
He helps me down, and with our fingers entwined we walk up to her office, entering together.
There are moments of your life when you know something is going to change, a feeling of not only dread but of knowing you don’t have control of a situation. That feeling engulfs me as I walk into this office. At the same time, I get an overwhelming sense that this is where I’m supposed to be.
Before we can sit down, a woman comes out of the office. She’s what I would call movie-star gorgeous. Long blonde hair, tall, tan, her makeup perfect, her nails manicured. She gives me a welcoming smile, holding out her hand. “Karsyn? I’m Shelby.”
“Nice to meet you.” I shake it gratefully. She gives off an air of knowing exactly what to do in every situation and getting exactly what she wants, when she wants it. “This is Tucker, my boyfriend.”
She shakes his hand just like she did with mine, escorting us into her office. When we get in there, I take a moment to look at the plaques. She graduated from the University of Mississippi School of Law two years ago, and judging by the pictures, she has a family who adores her.
“It’s good to have the two of you here today. Since I’ve never represented you before, and this is the first time we’ve met, I’ll tell you a little about myself. I graduated in the top five percent of my class. For the past two years I worked as a public defender for the state of Mississippi. When my contract was over, I landed here, opening this law firm. I’ve only been in town a few months, but I got connected with the LSERT a few weeks ago, and you’re the first case I’ve taken through the team. Knowing you’re a member just like me makes me excited to be helping you out.”
“Thank you for helping.” Tucker situates himself next to me, putting his arm behind my chair.
“Now why don’t you tell me a little about your case? I’ve pulled some articles, but I haven’t been able to get fully acquainted. I will before his parole hearing, make no mistake about that.”
“I understand.” I lean forward, rubbing my neck. “You just found out about this yesterday. Thank you for taking me on so quickly.”
“I’m excited to be in a community that helps each other.” She smiles brightly.
There’s a notepad in front of her, pen poised to take down what I’m about to tell her. Slowly I recount the story I previously told Tucker.
“Wow.” She shakes her head. “And they’re contemplating giving him parole? This is exactly why I had to leave the public defender’s office. Now I know this may be a little harder, but I need to know what happened when you were with him? There are two days unaccounted for.”
<
br /> Those days I was in his car, traveling the state of Tennessee, trying to evade police. Those forty-eight hours are ingrained in my brain. Sometimes they play like a movie that I’m not actually a part of. Other times they roll through like a timeline of my life.
“Did he threaten you?” she asks carefully.
“Many times. The few times I defied him, he said he would kill me. When I told him to go ahead, because I knew I’d meet God, he threatened to rape me.” This is harder for me to talk about. The part I didn’t tell Tucker. “Said he’d ruin me for other men. He described in great detail about how he’d mutilate my body, and take my virginity. It was those words that kept me doing what he asked of me,” I admit, my throat getting clogged. “You have to understand as a girl my age, that was terrifying.”
“It would be terrifying to anyone, no matter the age, Karsyn.” She shakes her head as she takes a few more notes. “Anything else I need to know?”
“He’s tattooed,” I whisper.
This is important, because it proves he exposed himself to me. It proves I saw more than I ever wanted to.
“Where?” Her pen stays poised on the paper.
“His penis.” I lick my suddenly dry lips. “You can’t read it unless it’s erect, though.”
Her lips are thin as I finish my sentence.
“What does it say?”
The phrase will always be there at the back of my mind, even if I want to forget it. It’s one of those memories I’ll never be able to completely let go of.
“Poison.”
Tucker and I are quiet as we sit in his truck after leaving the appointment. Both of us are lost in our respective thoughts, but there’s one thing I need to know.
“Do you think of me any differently?”
“What the fuck, Karsyn? What makes you think I think of you differently?”
“You’re quiet, and you have been since we left Shelby’s office.”
He pulls the truck over to the side of the road, turning to face me after he puts his hazards on.
“I’m fucking pissed, Karsyn. Not because of anything you did, but because of everything he did. You were a kid, someone who was scared to death, and he did whatever it took to assert himself over you. I can only imagine how long it took you to overcome issues with looking at guys and their dicks.”
I flinch, not because of what he said, but because it’s true. “I was a virgin until my senior year of college. I never had good sex until you.”
“Never?” He raises his eyebrows.
“I never let myself go until you. Didn’t have an orgasm until you. There was something about the way you made me feel protected. I knew you wouldn’t hurt me.” I shrug. I can’t explain exactly the way he makes me feel, and I feel like I would come up empty if I did.
He grabs my hands. “I will always make sure you’re protected, Karsyn. Nobody will hurt you on my fuckin’ watch. It’s me or them.”
And I know without a doubt he’s telling me the truth.
Chapter Eighteen
Tucker
Normally I don’t attack my workouts with the ferociousness I’m attacking this one with today. Most of the guys I typically get in the department gym with will tell you I’m level. I jog at a consistent pace; I don’t go fast then slow, I don’t lift heavy then light. Always level-headed, always the median. That’s me.
Today though? Today all the fucking anger about what happened to Karsyn is coming out. I’m looking to completely exhaust my body, because I don’t want to have another night of tossing and turning, trying to get what I learned happen to her out of my head. I’d thought I’d been prepared to hear, being the tough guy I am, seeing what I’ve seen.
None of that prepared me for how I felt when I listened to what happened to her. As a cop, I can definitely separate myself from the victims I help every day. This situation taught me I can’t separate myself from Karsyn.
“You may wanna slow it down,” Ransom says as he starts on the treadmill next to me. “You’re gonna stomp a hole in the machine.”
It’s then I realize I’m pounding harder than I meant to. So far in my zone I hadn’t even heard the loud noises I was making. “Sorry.” I put my feet on either side of the treadmill and turn it to a slower speed. “Just trying to work out some frustration.”
I have to give it to Ransom, he doesn’t crack a joke, which I know is hard for him. He’s very much a jokester in almost every situation. “Anything you want to talk about?”
“Not right now.” I grab my water bottle, draining it dry. “No disrespect to you, but I need to wrap my own head around what’s going on before I can explain it to anyone else. And honestly it’s not my secret to tell.”
“Just know I’m here if you need me.”
I nod as I do my cool-down. It means a lot to know he’s there, but it also reminds me that Karsyn had to suffer with most of this possibly without others to help her. When I’m done, I head to the locker room area, getting ready to go on-shift. Major is laying right where I left him - in front of my locker. “Let me take a shower, and then we can do work.”
He barks like he completely understands what I’m saying to him. He gets me in ways I’m not sure many people get me. “Love ya, Major.” I reach down rubbing his nose. He barks again, which I take for he loves me too.
We’ve made a few laps around Laurel Springs, but nothing seems to be happening so far tonight, which I’m thankful for. My mind isn’t where it should be at all. I’m still angry, upset, and a million other things about what Karsyn’s being put through.
My phone chimes with an incoming text.
K: This may be a weird question, but do you mind if I stay at your house tonight? I just, don’t want to be at my apartment.
T: No, I want you there, if that’s where you want to be. Want to meet me to get the key?
K: If it’s not a problem, I know you’re at work.
T: Nothing’s ever a problem for you.
K: Thanks, Tuck.
T: Let me know when you’re ready to leave and I’ll tell you where I am.
K: I’m ready now.
For some reason that makes me laugh, and it’s welcome, because I feel like there’s been precious little to laugh at since she told me what the hell is going on with her.
T: I’m taking speed out at the bottoms.
K: Setting up a trap aren’t ya, Officer Williams?
T: It got me you, didn’t it?
K: LOL! Busted! I’ll be there in a few.
Mentioning it, reminds me of the day I pulled Karsyn over. I’d seen her in town a few times. Laurel Springs is small enough that you tend to see the same people over and over again. But that day, when I pulled over the sleek, black Charger, I had no idea there was a woman behind the wheel, and I obviously didn’t know how beautiful she was.
* * *
“Is there a problem, Officer?”
I do my best to keep the irritation off my face. Why does everyone ask that question first? If there wasn’t a problem, would I be stopping them?
“You were going sixty-five back there. It’s a fifty mile an hour posted limit. License and registration, please.”
It’s then I see her, the eyes, the hair, the innocent freaking face.
She reaches over into her glovebox. “I’m so sorry, I’m new in town. Well actually I’ve lived in the area for the past few years, but I just moved into Laurel Springs about six months ago, and I’m learning the layout. Graduated, moved out, and became an adult and all,” she laughs as she explains, handing me what I’ve asked for.
“Well, Ms. Fallaway?” I question, waiting for her to correct me. I don’t see a wedding ring, but these days that doesn’t mean much.
“Yes,” she confirms.
“I’d love to let you go with a warning, but fifteen miles is too much for me to do that. If everything comes back okay, you’ll be getting a ticket, but I’ll knock it down for you.”
There are tears in her eyes, but I’m not sure if that’s because s
he’s trying to get me to go easier on her, or if that’s how she reacts to aspects of her life. She nods, stiffening her lip, and I know without a doubt this girl is strong. She’s slightly pissed, I can tell by the way her jaw tightens, and the fire that accompanies those tears in her eyes.
* * *
Glancing at my watch, I know she’ll be here sooner rather than later. I miss her, even though it’s only been a few hours. Letting her into my life has been more encompassing than I ever imagined it would be.
Major barks slightly, alerting me that someone is pulling in behind me. When I look back, I see Karsyn, waving as she gets out. Just seeing her causes me to grin.
“Hey,” I greet her as I get out of the driver’s seat.
“Hey.” She grins back, meeting me in the middle.
Our arms go around each other, clasping in a hug that warms me to my soul. I didn’t know how much I needed this hug until she was here in my arms. She makes a small sound in her throat, and immediately my mind goes to dirtier places than where we are right now.
Pulling back slightly, I look down, grab her chin in my fingers and lean in for a kiss. It’s one of barely-leashed passion with a touch of possession. Fuck if I’m on the side of the road wearing my uniform. This woman does it for me, and I want not only her, but anyone else who cares to be watching, to know it.
We separate slowly. I open my eyes just as slowly, watching as she runs her tongue along her lips. Her eyes open and she stares at me, smirking. “You taste good, Tuck.”
A groan works its way past my throat. “You think so?”
“I do.”
I move her around to the back of my SUV, leaning her up against the bumper. Crowding into her personal space, I let her scent and the aura that is Karsyn Fallaway wash all over me. “Wish I didn’t have to work the rest of the night.” I grab a piece of her hair, twirling it around my finger before letting it fall.
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