“You can’t be everywhere,” she said, still fighting back the tears. She was so overwhelmed. “As long as I can’t shift, I’m a liability to you.”
He remained quiet for a long time, letting her get her emotions out. Once she stopped talking, his face took on a commanding mien. This was what she was coming to know as his alpha face. She shuddered, but held it together because this was Damien, and she had nothing to fear from him.
“Do you care for me, Tess?”
“Yes, but—”
“No buts. It was a simple question, and you answered it. And it was all I needed to hear. I care for you, too, Tess, more than you realize. The rest will work out. Right now, I want to get you out of this alley, get you home, and take care of you.”
“I can’t—.”
“Yes, you can, and you will.”
“You’re not my alpha. I… I don’t have an alpha anymore. Or friends. My father and Lily… They’re all dead, Damien. Because of me. I don’t have anyone.”
“That’s where you’re wrong,” he said as he stormed out of the alley with her in his arms. “You have me.”
Chapter Eight
DAMIEN
Damien had sent Tess up to shower, to get the stench of Ian off of her, though she thought she stank from running. Sweat on a female was far from offensive. The smell of another male on her—especially a male who had attacked her—was downright maddening and had left both him and his wolf beyond angry.
While Tess showered, Damien sent for Callen. He wanted to know what information his enforcer had extracted from Ian, but Callen had discovered nothing new. While everyone was off searching for Tess, someone had broken into Ian’s cell in the cave the pack used to hold shifters and slit Ian’s throat. It was a good thing Damien had control of his wolf at the moment, for that news alone pushed him to his limits. Someone had taken it upon him or herself to exact justice, and that was not the way Damien ran his pack. Though Tess would be relieved that Ian was dead, it only raised more questions and left Damien feeling cheated. That should have been his kill. She was his to protect, his to avenge.
With a towel around her hair and wearing one of his gray t-shirts that was too large for her smaller frame, Tess descended the steps. A single tendril of brown-red hair escaped the white terrycloth towel and lay seductively over an exposed shoulder.
Her eyes, black and blue from when Ian had punched her, had swelled since he’d found her in Devil’s Peak. Damien focused all his energy on not growling. He didn’t want to scare her, let her see the anger festering within him. He’d fucking left her unprotected, and Ian had nearly killed her.
“Hungry?” he asked, trying to act casual for her sake, even though he had such a need to punch someone, Ian preferably, but the damn shifter was dead.
“Not really.” She surveyed the kitchen, living room, and dining room, as if she expected Ian to leap out at her.
Damien’s anger magnified. This was his home. Tess should feel safe here. “He’s dead,” Damien said, more bluntly than he intended, but she needed to know that filthy animal would never hurt her again.
“Did you… Never mind.” She shook her head, dismissing the question.
“You can speak your mind around me. In fact, I’d prefer it. Ask me whatever you want.”
“Why do you care, Damien?”
That wasn’t the question he expected to hear, and she wasn’t ready for the truth. “I just do.”
“Maybe you shouldn’t. I mean, about me. Ian was right.”
“You need to forget him and everything he said.”
“He said I’m a danger to you and your pack. That I shouldn’t be here.”
She couldn’t be more wrong. She was smart and witty and, most of all, full of compassion: a trait Damien sorely lacked, yet needed as a leader. His pack needed her. He needed her.
“I’ll decide what’s a danger to my pack,” he snapped. His damn wolf was making it hard to focus, forcing too much anger and pent-up energy to come out in ways it shouldn’t.
“I just meant…”
He tried to shove his wolf down, to dampen the anger resonating through his words. “I know what you meant. You don’t think you have a voice here, with me or my pack.”
“As you said, your pack, not mine,” she bit out.
She was still standing by the staircase, as if she didn’t feel safe getting any closer. Maybe she didn’t trust him. Hell, this wasn’t going well.
Damien softened his tone. “We could be your pack, if you let us, Tess.”
“Your pack doesn’t want me. Weren’t you paying attention, today? The ones who believe me think I’m pathetic because I can’t shift. And the rest, well, they either want to hand me over to the WSSO or kill me outright. I have nothing to offer anyone, especially you.”
He slammed his glass on the counter. “I won’t let anyone belittle you, especially you.”
“Why? Because you have a soft spot for broken shifters? I’m just another stray to you, someone you feel obligated to invite into the pack like Blade and Hayden. Unlike them, however, I have nothing to offer. The only reason you want me here is because you feel sorry for me. Well, here’s a newsflash for you. I don’t want your pity.”
In two long strides, he was standing in front of her, glaring. “If that’s what you think, then you know nothing about me. You think I look at you like you’re a stray? That that’s the way I look at Blade or Hayden or any of the others not originally from my pack? Hell, Tess, I don’t see strays. I see good shifters who need a home and a pack that benefits from having them.”
Her eyes flared with a passion he’d seen in her the day she had attacked Ian. Damien wanted to kiss her so badly right now, to make her see how much he wanted her to stay, but she wasn’t ready for that truth.
“You said you’d never lie to me.” Her voice held less punch now, and he could hear the uncertainty there. There was a frailty beneath her tough exterior, a part of her that couldn’t take any more pain.
“I’m not lying about any of it.” He stared at her, and then softened his voice, knowing that he’d raised it all-too-easily. “I’m not lying.”
Her bottom lip began to tremble. Seeing her standing there, the uncertainty in her eyes, knowing his pack hadn’t welcomed her… Damien didn’t know how to make her feel wanted. She had a place here, if she could find the courage to give his pack—to give him—a chance to prove themselves to her.
He ran a thumb over her cheek, enjoying the feel of her soft skin against his, wishing he could find a way to get through to her. When her eyes lifted to him, his heart soared.
“Can I have a do-over?”
Her entire body relaxed with one long sigh. She even smiled, tenuous though it was.
“I’d like that.”
“Tough day, huh?”
A tear slid down her cheek, and she nodded as she stifled a whimper. He drew her into a hug and stood there, holding her for several minutes. Then his stomach rumbled, loudly.
“Sorry. Kind of hungry after all that running.”
She started laughing, then placed her hand over her mouth.
“You think a starving shifter is funny?”
She nodded, green eyes vibrant. “Want me to make you something?”
“You know how to cook?”
“A few things. I used to work in a diner.”
“How about pancakes? I love pancakes.”
“I can try, but no guarantees you’ll survive. I was a waitress, not one of the cooks. But I watched them when I could.”
“Always an adventure with you, huh?” He kissed her forehead. “How about you sit and relax for a bit? Here,” he said, pulling out a chair for her. “Have a seat. I’m an expert at making pancakes.”
Within seconds he had butter melting on the griddle, the eggs cracked, and milk poured into a bowl of mix. He threw her his most charming grin, or at least he hoped it was charming, as he whisked the ingredients. Instead of sliding into the chair he’d pulled out for her, she sto
od there, trying to make the oversized t-shirt work for her. It hung loose on her shoulders and only covered the top of her thighs. His desire for pancakes was quickly waning, especially since he could see her breasts fairly well through the thin cotton.
“You’re staring at my boobs.”
“Yes.”
“Not fair.”
“Polite? No. Fair? Hell, yes. You’re wearing my shirt.”
“So that gives you the right to stare?”
“I feel like there’s no good answer here.”
“Actually, there is. The answer is ‘No’.”
“Ah, maybe that’s what was tripping me up. I was debating between ‘yes’ and ‘maybe’.”
She smacked him on his arm. “How would you like if I stared at your package after you shift, and you’re completely naked?”
Damien started unbuckling his pants.
“What are you doing?” she squeaked, her wide-eyes stirring him even more.
“Playing fair. Giving you the chance to stare.”
His pants dropped with a noticeable thud, and she averted her eyes. “Good grief. Male shifters are all exhibitionists.”
“It comes with the territory.” He waggled his brows. “Would you like to explore my territory?”
“Exhibitionist and cheesy,” she said, trying to hide her laugh by sucking in her cheeks. It was a look that went right to his cock.
“I’m an acquired taste, Sweetness. Care to taste?” Damien shook his hips, his erect cock swaying to and fro in a way that felt like a mating dance. This was right, natural, and his Tess was smiling, her eyes no longer averted but watching him intently, lowering to his cock.
Her laugh finally bubbled to the top, and she covered her mouth, fighting the laughter. He loved when she laughed. She looked so carefree and relaxed. She needed to do that more, enjoy herself. If it meant he’d have to fling cheesy lines at her, then so be it.
“Damien, I’m trying to be serious. Get dressed.”
“Only if you help me.”
“Like I’m going to fall for that. Nope, won’t happen.”
There it was. Her resolve had returned. “Worried that I’ll touch you?” he asked as he fastened his pants.
Her smile disappeared. “I’ve been touched enough, today.”
Slowly, Damien leaned his forehead against hers and simply breathed. He didn’t know what to say or do, how to return her sense of security, how to erase all the horrors she had suffered at the hands of the WSSO and one of his own shifters.
“Tell me what to do, Sweetness.”
He listened to her breathing, heard her swallow, hard, as if she was fighting her emotions. “Don’t hide from me. You’re safe here, Tess. Scream at me, or cry, or hit me if it helps. Just don’t hide from me.”
Her hand moved to his cheek. “I don’t want to hit you. Or cry. I’ve done enough of that, don’t you think?”
“You do what you need to do. And tell me what I should do because I don’t know. Being alpha doesn’t mean I have all the answers. It just means I get stuck making decisions in shitty situations.”
She pulled her head away and kissed his forehead. “I think you’re a wonderful alpha. And if you want to help me, just be you, okay?”
He lifted his eyes to her. “You’ll tell me if I scare you?”
“You don’t scare me, Damien,” she said, and then her brows pinched together. “You’re stuck, aren’t you? Not sure what to do, what to say?”
He nodded. He was lost. This was new territory for him, and he didn’t like feeling out of control.
“Follow your instincts.”
“What if my instincts are more than you can handle?”
“Then I’ll tell you, okay?”
Damien pressed his lips to hers. He couldn’t help himself. It was as much instinct to lay his claim on her as it was the need to reassure her that no one would touch her again. The kiss lasted long enough for his cock to harden. He slowly dragged the tip of his tongue from the base of her neck, over her delicate throat, along her jaw, and finally to right behind her ear.
She tasted of flowers and fresh, clean water, and smelled of him, not that bastard who tried to kill her. Ian’s scent clung to her the entire time Damien carried her home. Damien hadn’t said a word or dared to lick her then, though his wolf had howled at him to replace the offensive odor with his own scent, marking her as his. She’d been too shaken, too upset for any overt moves.
Even now he wasn’t sure if what he was doing would upset her, except he had to trust that she’d tell him if he pushed too hard, or too far. She had washed the bastard’s scent off of her and come down to the kitchen skittish, only to stand up to Damien moments later. Damien’s Tess was stronger than anyone gave her credit for.
With a palm directly against his face, Tess pushed him away, but she was definitely smiling again. “I’m not some chew toy you get to lick to ensure no one plays with me.”
“You almost had it right, Sweetness. You’re not a chew toy. But if you were, you’d be mine and mine alone. Understood?” There was no levity in his voice, now. He needed her to know that she was his. If she even touched another shifter, Damien would rip his head from his shoulders.
The smile slid from her face, replaced by a lost look that made him want to hold her and never let go.
“Why’d they kill my pack, Damien?”
That bastard Ian had told her. Damien should have told her about her pack right after the meeting. If he’d only come inside instead of going for a run, Ian would never have gotten near her.
“I think the WSSO didn’t want anyone searching for you.”
“My dad, my sister…” She turned her head away, trying to hide her tears.
There was no question in Damien’s mind. He’d kill the bastards for what they had done to her—for taking her family and pack from her, for torturing her and destroying her confidence, for every time she hesitated when he drew near.
“I can’t stay.”
Damien shoved his clenched fists behind him. “Give me one good reason why not.”
“What if they attack here too?”
“Then we’ll fight.”
“It’s not as simple as that.”
“It is, Sweetness. I protect what’s mine.” He let his wolf’s growl come through, loud and clear, so she’d know he meant her, and not just his pack. This time when he approached, she didn’t move.
Light-green eyes pleaded with him. “I don’t want anyone else to die because of me.”
As he cupped her face in his hands, he traced a thumb over her lips. “The shifters in the morgue and your pack… You didn’t touch a single one of them. That was all the WSSO’s doing. I’m not letting you go, Tess. So get that through your head. Nothing you do or say will change my mind.”
Her lips thinned, and Damien had a feeling he’d overplayed his hand, but he’d spoken the truth. Even if she wasn’t ready to admit it, she would be his, in every sense of the word.
“The Running of the Moon is coming up. I expect you to be there with the rest of the pack.”
“Wh-what if I can’t shift?”
“You’ll be able to shift. It’s a week away, and your wolf will feel the power of the pack. She’ll want to join in, even if she’s not quite ready.”
There it was again, doubt in her face. He had to admit he didn’t feel as confident as he sounded, but he wouldn’t let her know that. She had to believe her wolf would emerge. Her expression, that doubt about her wolf, her future, her very worth, crushed him. He couldn’t help Tess in the way she needed. The idea that she would never shift again caused a fear in him so deep his bones started moving and reforming on their own.
“Damien?” She stepped back.
Bones popped and slid, exceedingly slowly, because he was fighting the shift. Such immense pain. He hadn’t known this type of pain since his first shift at puberty.
“Don’t fight it! Focus, Damien!”
He was fighting his wolf, which was a problem. A b
ig problem. An alpha who couldn’t control his wolf was dangerous. Each time he gave in to his wolf, his wolf grew stronger. Give in enough times, and eventually the wolf seized full control, making returning to human form impossible.
Feral shifters were put down.
A gentle hand touched his snout. “Focus, Damien,” Tess’s soft voice urged. How anyone could think she wasn’t shifter was beyond him. No one else would have risked interfering, let alone understood what was happening and how to help him.
It took some effort, but he forced his wolf to submit. He hated treating his wolf like a damned dog, but as with any other challenger, the wolf had to know who the alpha was.
Damien found himself kneeling on the floor, sweaty and exhausted from having forced his wolf down. Damien had only shifted part way, but the fight for control had taken a lot out of him.
Tess’s hand sifted through his sweat-soaked hair and he let his head fall against her stomach.
“You can’t leave, Tess.”
With a hand on either side of his face, she tilted his head back. “I’ll stay for now.”
As he rose, he took her scent in and let his hands glide up her shapely hips, arms, shoulders, until once more he was peering into her lovely green eyes. He cradled her head in his hands, as he leaned in and kissed her.
He couldn’t imagine letting her go, but he needed to blood-bond a female with shifter abilities, to stabilize his wolf. Could he risk that enough of Tess was still shifter for a successful blood-bond? It was a dilemma that he feared had no solution.
Hard as it was, he broke the kiss and held out a chair for her. “How many pancakes do you want?”
“Are we going to ignore what just happened?”
“I kissed you. I can continue kissing you, if you insist, Sweetness.” He grinned, for her. Always for her.
“Before that. That partial unintentional shift back there.”
He shrugged his shoulders. “I’m tired, hungry and my wolf tried to take advantage, that’s all it was.”
Damien’s Dilemma Page 11
