She scrutinized Callen, noting his posture and his eyes. He was hiding something, but the shifter had the best poker face she’d ever seen. Tess entered Damien’s house, turned on the lights, and stopped. It smelled different, which immediately frustrated the hell out of her because right now she really wanted her wolf’s sense of smell to tell her what was different.
So much for accepting life as a human.
If she had her abilities, she’d have a good idea of who had been through here lately, what they’d eaten, even what they were feeling emotionally. It was more than the smell that had changed. She couldn’t explain it other than to say it no longer felt like home.
A woman’s jacket was hanging by the door, and below the jacket rested a pair of sexy, strappy shoes that were as practical in the middle of the woods as using a fly swatter to combat the WSSO.
In that instant, Tess knew a woman had moved in with Damien. Had they blood-bonded yet? Somehow, Tess always thought she would feel it in her soul when Damien blood-bonded another. A heavy steel door would permanently slam shut on any chance of her having a future with him. Yet the evidence was all around her.
As Tess made her way to the kitchen, she noticed subtle changes. The picture Damien had of his family remained on the mantel, but it had been moved to the end, partially obscured by a plant, as if someone didn’t care to see it. The kitchen was a mess, too. Well, whomever Damien had found to blood-bond didn’t seem to have any pride in maintaining a clean house. Maybe she had a job that kept her busy, such as teaching the younger kids. No, Tess had met Kai, the teacher for the younger grades, and there was no way that small jacket would fit her.
Tess sank into a chair by the coffee table. It didn’t matter who Damien had blood-bonded. He had found someone, and that’s what mattered. Instead of feeling relief that Damien had finally calmed his wolf, however, Tess felt like a knife had been driven through her heart.
Coming back here had been a mistake, except she had no choice. Damien and his team were Anna’s best chance, and she couldn’t walk away from Anna. Tess would tell Damien about Anna, and then Tess would leave and never return, like she had originally planned.
“What are you doing here?” A naked shifter, brown hair, brown eyes, and big boobs walked through the door. “Get out!”
Tess rose, slightly stunned. The woman Millie? Jillie? Whatever. The shifter had never had a kind word to say to Tess, and many others. Millie took her frustrations out on anyone she deemed beneath her, which had included Tess. The shifter certainly wasn’t someone Tess had ever envisioned Damien with.
“I said, get out, now, human scum.”
And so it began. Tess took a deep breath, leaned back on the sofa, and crossed her legs. “Millie, I’m staying until he gets here.”
“It’s Tillie. You can’t even get that right. Last warning. Leave.”
“No.”
To Tess’s surprise, Tillie started shifting, slowly. Tess had more than enough time to run to the kitchen and grab a long knife and shove a second one into her back pocket. She could have taken advantage of Tillie’s slow shift by clocking her once or twice during mid-shift, but the memory of how Ian had tortured Tess, taking advantage of mid-shift, still haunted her. She wouldn’t do that to another, not even someone as obnoxious and mean as Tillie.
When Tillie finished shifting, finally, a rather unimpressive brown wolf stood before Tess. The wolf growled and bared her teeth.
Nope, Tess had no pity at all for how slow or painful that shift had been. Tess yawned.
The wolf lowered her head in typical stalking fashion.
Tess held out her knife. “You may get a good swipe or two in, but I guarantee I will gut you in the process. Oh, and I know how to do maximum damage in a very brief amount of time—the type that never quite heals right, that will leave a nasty scar across that pretty stomach of yours, maybe even across your breasts. I’ve spent the last month at Drake’s camp. I learned from experts, Tillie. So go ahead, try me.”
The wolf stopped advancing, but she continued baring her teeth and growling.
“Just like I thought. All bark and no bite. You might as well get your slutty ass up to his bed and wait there because I’m not leaving here until I talk with him.”
Tess hated herself right now. She should be showing Damien’s mate some respect, for his sake if nothing else. Tess had been with Drake and his pack too long, apparently, putting the nastiness of the past six weeks in play all too easily. The wolf stopped growling as if she wasn’t sure what to do.
“Seriously, Tillie, I have pack business that can’t wait. Then I’ll be gone, off pack territory. You won’t ever see me again.”
The wolf slowly moved up the stairs. A short time later, Tess could hear the yelps and cries that came with a painful shift. That made her feel even worse. She had held no compassion for the shifter, a shifter who technically was protecting her home and her mate from someone she saw as a threat.
The door flung open. “What the hell? Tess!” Hayden greeted her with a huge smile and even bigger hug. “I thought I scented you nearby.”
She had waited so long to see a friendly face. Callen had been a welcome sight, but Hayden was like a brother. Warm, welcoming, someone she felt relaxed around. He was Damien’s best friend, the shifter Damien trusted more than anyone.
“What are you doing here?” Hayden asked as he grabbed a pair of sweats from the stash by the door and got dressed. “I know you didn’t plan to return, but we still hoped you would. We had men posted along the border, just in case you decided to come back, but the deadline came and went.”
“Ravirez needed my help an extra few days. Four days turned into ten. Drake wasn’t in a good mood. I thought it best to keep quiet and not remind him that he’d agreed to thirty.”
“I’ve never known him to break a promise, which I guess he didn’t in the long run. You did the right thing, though. Best not to aggravate him when he’s in a shitty mood.”
“At least the extra time there was worth it. Ravirez developed a cure, and Drake said he’d share it with Damien, despite him harboring a traitor. Sorry. I guess I shouldn’t have said that last part. It’s been a tough few weeks. I guess I lost my ability to filter.”
Hayden’s smile had disappeared. After a deep breath, he plastered a new one on, except this one didn’t reach his eyes. Someday she would ask Damien about the history between Hayden and his brother.
“How effective is the cure?”
“Close to eighty percent survival rate, which is higher than Ravirez expected, but he says he’s working with too small of a pool of infected for the number to be considered accurate. It could be higher or lower, depending on conditions. I don’t know what that means exactly, but again, I tried not to ask too many questions.”
“This is good news, really good. It means we have a chance of combatting the virus. It’s nice having good news for a change.”
“What do you mean?”
“Never mind,” Hayden said, quickly shutting her down. That was fine. She’d had enough of the WSSO for more than one lifetime, and she was certainly prepared to leave that part of her life behind. As soon as Tess told Damien about Anna, she would leave.
“You staying for good, Tess?”
“I’ll be gone in the morning. I need to talk to Damien.”
“About what?”
She hesitated then realized this was Hayden. Damien trusted Hayden like no other, and he wouldn’t hide anything from Damien, especially when the situation involved Drake. “The reason I came back. Drake’s holding a human. Her name’s Anna. She’s in real trouble, Hayden.”
“She’s none of—.”
“Real trouble, Hayden. I don’t think she’ll last much longer.”
Hayden reflected for a moment, then nodded as if he understood. “Why is he holding her?”
She hesitated. “I’m not sure, except it has to do with the WSSO.”
“You’re a lousy liar, Tess. Try again.”
�
��I can’t. But I’m asking you to trust me. She needs help.”
“Hell no,” Blade said as he entered. “Why would we want to start a war with Drake just to save a human?”
“Because she needs help.” Suddenly, every scar on Tess’s back seemed to hurt, and the room seemed to fade away. She flashed back to when the WSSO had kept her prisoner.
Instantly, Blade appeared in front of her, holding her by her shoulders, calling her name. She wanted Damien. The panic, the pain, and all the bad memories always disappeared when he held her.
“Are you okay?” Blade asked, his voice suddenly soft.
Finally, she found her voice and the ability to move. She pulled away from Blade and wrapped her arms around herself, trying to calm the rising panic. She couldn’t leave Anna there. Damien. Tess needed Damien. He’d understand.
“They’re torturing Anna.”
“There’s nothing to be gained by going in for one of them,” Blade said.
Tess’s head shot up. “I guess I wasn’t worth it either.”
“I never said that.” Blade winced. “Fine, at first, I did. But you’re shifter. We just didn’t know it at the time.”
Hell, why was she arguing with Blade of all people? He was usually the easy-going one. Now, he sounded more serious, like Damien. What was going on around here, and where was Damien?
“Settle down, both of you,” Hayden ordered.
“Hayden?” Tillie called from upstairs. “Put the human trash out and come to bed.”
Hayden’s face fell. “Sorry about that.”
Relief flowed through Tess. The tart upstairs was Hayden’s latest fling, not Damien’s blood-bond. That was good. Damien deserved better. Hayden did too, for that matter. But Hayden didn’t seem to be interested in blood-bonding anyone, so Tillie was nothing more than the flavor of the month. Wait. Why were Tillie and Hayden sleeping in Damien’s house?
Breathing became harder, again. “Hayden, where’s Damien?” Tess forced the words out.
Hayden took her hand in his. “Damien? Ah, hell, there’s no easy way to say this. Damien went feral. He disappeared days ago, and we have no idea where he is.”
Chapter Twenty-Three
TESS
“Feral… feral! What do you mean he went feral?”
Before she knew it, Blade was sitting next to her, trying to calm her down. Frank took a chair across from her, but said nothing. She hadn’t seen him enter.
“His decline was more rapid than we expected,” Hayden said.
“When you stayed with Drake, Damien pretty much gave up,” Blade said. “Never thought I’d see the day.”
“No, Damien does not give up,” she said, springing to her feet. This was not happening. The only reason she agreed to stay with Drake, aside from helping cure his shifters, was so Damien would be forced to move on, forget about her and find a shifter to blood-bond. And they were saying he just gave up? That made no sense.
“What of the other shifters here? There are plenty of single females. Aloe told me he dated here and there and the relationships ended amicably. Damien isn’t the type to use women. He…”
All those times he had touched her, he’d done so with reverence. Even when he’d been rough, in Frank’s cabin, there was still an underlying concern for her, never pushing her beyond what she could handle, what she wanted but wasn’t ready to admit. There had to have been at least one woman who would have agreed to blood-bond him.
Hayden shrugged. “Several of the females approached Damien, but he turned them away. And then he shut down completely. Stopped talking except when absolutely necessary, and even then, it was a few words mixed in with mostly growling.”
“When you have nothing to fight for, it’s hard to keep fighting your wolf,” Blade said, already pacing the length of the room. “Damien stopped fighting. Never should have happened, but it did.”
Tess shook her head. “There has to be something you’re not telling me. Damien fights for what he believes in.”
“It wasn’t his plan,” Frank spoke up finally. He had been sitting there this whole time, without saying a word.
“Plan? What plan?”
“Damien decided a while back that if you didn’t blood-bond him he’d go on a suicide mission against the WSSO before he went completely feral. But something must have gone wrong. Perhaps he waited too long, and he lost all control to his wolf.”
“He never considered blood-bonding another? Why didn’t he tell me?” she shouted. She couldn’t believe this was happening.
“He said it had to be your choice. He didn’t want to burden you,” Hayden said.
“Damien believed in you,” Frank added.
She stared at them, not sure what to say. Frank approached, his amber eyes soulful, his voice calm. “Don’t you get it, Tess? He wouldn’t even consider another because since the day he freed you, everything he’s done has been for you. He was fighting for you this whole time. When the thirty days were up, Damien crossed into Drake’s territory to check on you and make sure Drake wouldn’t renege on his promise.”
“Oh, God. Damien saw me there, didn’t he? No guards, no prison. Just me roaming about, blending in with Drake’s pack, as if I was one of them, as if I’d chosen to stay.”
Blade crossed his arms over his chest. “Did you?”
“The cure seemed to be working, and Ravirez told Drake he needed my help a little bit longer. I’ve seen what happens when people say no to Drake.” She wrapped her arms around her midsection, feeling as if she were going to be sick. “It was only supposed to be four extra days, but he kept me for ten.”
“Damien kept running along Drake’s border for you. Spent days there,” Frank began. “Damien didn’t even return for the Running of the Moon. He must have realized you weren’t coming back. I think that’s when he gave up.”
Frank’s words struck her like a hammer in the face. Her world spun as every encounter, every word Damien had ever uttered flooded her head, her heart, her soul. Hayden’s hand fell to her shoulder. She shrugged him off. Just the feel of another’s touch, even a friend’s, felt wrong right now, as if she were betraying Damien. Damien who had believed in her and had never once entertained the idea of blood-bonding another. Damien who had waited for her to return even though she had sworn she wouldn’t. Damien, a shifter who would rather go feral than betray her by blood-bonding another. Damien who wasn’t here because she had not taken the leap of faith required to save him.
“How long ago did he leave?” she demanded. Feral or not, she needed to see him.
“Two days ago, after attacking Alex,” Hayden said, his voice heavy.
“Alex? Why Alex? Is he okay?”
“He healed, but he’s freaked out, threatening to leave if Damien returns. And we need Alex, Tess. He’s working on the vaccine.”
“Damien didn’t mean to—” she tried defending him.
“Yeah, he did,” Blade said. “We were there. Damien was fine one moment, and then Alex walked by, smelling of you.”
“Me?”
“He had been working with your blood samples, spilled some on a lab coat.”
Smell was one of the strongest catalysts for memory recall. Her scent could have been the final trigger. “I need to find Damien.” Her panic returned. She couldn’t shift. How was she going to find him?
“Will you help me?”
“Damien’s mind is too far gone.” This was from Frank, the one who was, generally speaking, the optimist of the bunch. “But I’ll help you find him.”
“No one’s going,” Hayden said. “It’s too dangerous. Damien’s feral. He’ll attack anyone who approaches.”
“I have to try,” she said again.
“To what end? He can’t just put aside his drive to kill because you show up trying to soothe his wolf. The Damien we know is gone, and there’s nothing any of us can do about it.”
“If I blood-bond him…”
“It’s too late for that. It won’t work.”
“How do you know?”
“You can’t blood-bond a feral shifter. It only results in turning the female feral as well. A shifter has to be in his human form to blood-bond. Once shifters go feral, they never shift back.”
“How can you be so callous, Hayden?”
“Me, callous? You’re the one who refused to blood-bond Damien, to save him from this end.”
She had never seen Hayden so upset, even when Damien had banned him from meetings that involved Drake. Hayden took a lot of emotional abuse from those around him and processed it without lashing out at others. Hayden was in pain. He lost Damien just as she had.
“Hayden,” Frank said, his voice edgy.
“No, she has to hear this. I’m not trying to blame you, Tess. You had your reasons, and that’s between you and Damien ultimately, but you have to understand, Damien’s feral now. There’s no going back for him. If I could get him back, I would. I may be alpha now, but this is his pack.”
“I was wrong. I thought he’d find another. I have to try, Hayden.” She couldn’t believe there was no getting Damien back, despite what these shifters said. Damien was inside that wolf, but Hayden could be right. It might already be too late, but if it wasn’t... certainly the longer Damien stayed in wolf form the harder it would be for him to return to her. His wolf could simply become too strong, forever burying Damien.
“It’s already out of my hands, Tess.”
Her stomach dropped, like being in an elevator that suddenly lurches down, skipping floor after floor until it finally stopped. “You sent someone after him, to kill him!”
“Pack law. Feral wolves are put down without exception. Damien himself made up that rule when he took over as alpha. He has to be put down. For all of our sakes. Damien would be the first to agree.”
She charged at Hayden and slapped him across the face. “How dare you! He considers you a brother, and this is how you show your loyalty to him?”
Hayden said nothing.
“Hayden had no choice, Tess,” said Blade. “It’s done.”
Tess pushed by Hayden and headed to the door. She didn’t want their excuses. The hell with them, all of them. Before she reached the door, Blade intercepted her, barring her exit. “I said it’s done, not that it’s hopeless. Frank and I will take you.”
Damien’s Dilemma Page 32
