He thought he should tell the bishop what was on his heart. “To be totally open with you, I didn’t like how some people treated my father. I was angry about that and that’s why I left. I just couldn’t understand it.”
“When he was shunned?” the bishop asked.
“When he was shunned and then before and after he was shunned. Pretty much all the time. I just thought people were treating us as if we weren’t good enough, or were somehow different and separate to them.”
“Maybe they were scared of being affected by what your vadder was doing.”
Nathan didn’t think that was true. “I don’t know. It was more like they were being judgmental and a bit nasty.” He scratched his head, hoping he hadn’t offended the bishop or overstepped the mark.
“None of us is perfect, Nathan. And by judging them, you yourself become judgmental.”
Nathan had to chuckle. “I hadn’t thought of it like that.”
“We’re each responsible for our own walk with God. And that’s too important to take your eyes off Gott to look around to see what others are doing. Keep focused on what you’re doing because that’s what’s important. Think of things this way. It doesn’t matter what men say or think about us and if they treat us badly it’s okay. As long as we’re in right standing with Gott, none of the rest matters.” He patted Nathan on the back.
“I understand.” Nathan looked down at the dirt on the ground underneath his black shoes. For the first time, it didn’t matter what others said or thought about him. What the bishop had said had changed his point of view completely. Maybe those people were scared or maybe they were just plain mean, but he wouldn’t let them affect his walk with God. Maybe he could return to the community. Maybe he could have the life that his mother had always hoped for him. Before his eyes, standing right there talking to the bishop, he had a flash of a future—a happy one with Violet and loads of children.
* * *
Valerie had gone on with someone else and Ed had stayed behind to bring Nathan to the meal afterward. With everyone going to so much effort, Nathan couldn't say that the people in the community didn't care.
Violet made herself busy helping the ladies set the food out on two long tables.
When Nathan eventually walked into the house, his face looked as white as a sheet.
It seemed Violet was not the only one who had noticed because, before she could make a move, Valerie was by his side, pulling him over to sit on one of the chairs that lined the walls.
Someone else passed Nathan a glass of soda and Violet decided to leave it awhile before she went over to him, but she still never took her eyes from him. Later, when he looked up and saw her, he smiled and she was drawn to him.
She sat down on the seat beside him. “I was going to come and talk to you earlier, but everyone else had the same idea.”
He chuckled and looked down at the drink in his hands.
“Everyone's been good, especially you, Valerie, and the bishop. I'll never forget how good you all have been to me. This is the hardest thing I've had to deal with in my life.”
“I saw you talking to the bishop earlier.”
“Yes, I told him what’s in my heart and he had some answers that I hadn’t expected. He made me look at things differently.”
“That’s good.”
Nathan nodded. “What he said made a lot of sense.”
Violet hoped that the contact with the community members would prompt Nathan to re-attend the gatherings. “Anything you want to share with me?”
He chuckled. “Not today.”
When other people approached Nathan, Violet excused herself and went to help Valerie in the kitchen.
As the day of the funeral drew to a close and people started to leave Valerie’s house, Violet’s parents came to tell her it was time to go.
“I’ll be home soon. I’m just going to help Valerie clean up.” Violet hoped her voice was firm enough so they wouldn’t argue with her. “Maybe I’ll walk home later.”
“That isn’t your job; you aren’t his fraa.” Her father frowned at her. “Get your things and come with us; there are plenty of ladies here to help clean up.”
“Dat, I’m helping Valerie.”
“Let’s go,” her father said in a hushed tone.
“Okay. I’ll just say goodbye to a few people.” Not wanting to make her parents upset, she hurried over to Nathan.
“I have to go home, Nathan. I wanted to stay and help Valerie, but …”
“I understand. You’ve been wonderful today. Thank you. I hope I’ll see you again soon.”
“Violet, come on,” her father urged.
“I must go.” Violet hurried back to her father. “I’ll just tell Valerie I’m going.”
He nodded and didn’t look happy.
She found Valerie in the kitchen. “I wanted to stay on and help, but I’m told I must go home and go home now.”
Valerie chuckled. “Bye, Violet. You’ve been a good help today. I’m sure Nathan appreciated it.”
“Bye, Valerie.” She hurried to her parents, who had already walked out of the house.
Violet was silent on the ride home, struggling to understand why her parents had made her leave.
“We allowed you to help that man while he was grieving, but now that the funeral is over, I don’t want you anywhere near him,” her mother said.
Violet knew she should never argue with her mother when she used that tone, but she felt compelled to speak her mind. “Mamm, I mean no disrespect, but I’m no longer a child. I can speak to whomever I want. Nathan still needs help. The funeral being over doesn’t mean he’ll forget how hard it is to lose his mudder.”
Her mother turned around and wagged her finger at her. “I’ll not have you take that tone with me. You’re still my dochder.”
Her father took over the lecture. “Spending time with that man has already had an ill effect on you. The Scripture says that you should be mindful of those you spend time with. He is not a member of our community and shows no sign of returning.”
“He could come back and I don’t want people standing in his way. The bishop has been nice to him. Nathan told me he had a good talk with him today and if the bishop is nice to him, shouldn’t both of you be? Or you could be judged for standing in a sinner’s way.”
From the back seat of the buggy, she could see the tips of her vadder’s ears turning beet red. Perhaps she should’ve thought through her words before she said them. “Forgive me, Dat.”
“As long as you’re an unmarried woman, still living in our haus, you will not see that man again. Your mudder told me how you sneaked out of the house yesterday to see him and had young Toby Yoder passing secret letters. This is a small community, and I’ll not allow you to embarrass us.”
Her mudder nodded in agreement and turned around to stare at her. Violet nodded and then her mother turned back around.
Exactly how was she embarrassing them by associating with Nathan? She knew she risked her father’s wrath if she continued on the subject, but nevertheless, she forged ahead. “Dat, he isn’t a criminal. How am I embarrassing you?”
“He’s an outcast, as gut as shunned, and as long as you are seen with him, you will be too.”
“He can’t be shunned if he’s never been baptized. He’s never made the decision to join us.”
Her mother turned around, stared at her, and said, “Why don’t you listen to your own words?”
“What do you mean?” Violet felt sick with this confrontation, but she felt she had to stick up for Nathan.
Her father bought into the conversation. “You just said he’s never made the decision to join us.”
“Jah, I know.”
Her father continued, “Don’t you see a problem with that? He’s had enough time and he’s done nothing.”
“Well, have you ever wondered why he left and stopped coming to the gatherings?” Violet asked, risking more of her vadder’s anger.
“Nee, I’ve too much to do to wonder
about what others think.”
It was no use talking to her father. Maybe her parents were amongst the people who had let Nathan down in the past. That was a horrible thought. She tried to clear Nathan from her mind. She tried to erase the feelings that had grown in her during the brief moments she had spent with him.
There was no way Violet could forget Nathan. Violet was falling in love with him, and she believed he felt the same—he had to have those same feelings. She could see it in the way he looked at her, especially today at the funeral. There was no way she could just pretend that he no longer existed. She closed her eyes tightly and right there in the back seat of the buggy, she prayed that he would return. And if and when he did, she hoped that her parents wouldn’t stand in his way of feeling comfortable and a part of the community.
Chapter 7
The next day, Violet’s life returned to normal. She got up early to deliver flowers to the markets as she did three days a week. On the mornings she was working, she loaded a wagon with flowers from the Walkers’ greenhouses and took them to the markets.
Violet’s workday was split into a morning shift and an evening one, and she had free time in the middle of the day. Lily worked in the flower stall at the markets five and a half days a week. The Walkers ran a wholesale flower business. They lived next door to her Aunt Nancy, and it seemed each of her cousins had worked there at one time or another.
As Violet unloaded the flowers that morning, Lily arrived.
“Gut mayrie, Lily.”
“Hi there. I’m so looking forward to the dinner.”
“What dinner is this?” Violet asked.
“It’s the dinner for Dat’s birthday. Everyone’s coming. I don’t know why you haven’t heard about it. It’s next Thursday.”
“Your vadder doesn’t normally have a big birthday.”
“I know, but for some reason Mamm and Aunt Nerida are making this one a special one.”
Violet stopped what she was doing and straightened up. “Is he having a birthday that ends with a zero?”
“Nee. He’s fifty eight.”
“Hmmm.” Violet had to wonder whether this dinner was solely for her benefit.
“Hey, what’s wrong?”
Violet shook her head. “It’s nothing.” Violet turned away and continued lifting the buckets of flowers onto the display.
“I know you’re all invited. Mamm was talking to Aunt Nerida about it just yesterday.”
“It’s not that. I wasn’t thinking that we weren’t invited. It’s just that …”
“What?”
“Nothing. I’m just having a hard time at the moment with Mamm and Dat. They’re being really strict.”
“Do you want to come and stay with me for a while?” Lily asked.
“Could I?”
“Jah, if you want to. Elijah won’t mind and it’ll give me someone to sit with of an evening. Elijah always goes to bed so early and I’m by myself now that Bruno and Daisy are away with Bruno’s familye in Ohio.”
The identical twins, Daisy and Lily, lived in houses side by side on the same piece of land. And now Violet knew they also spent a lot of time in each other’s houses. They were still as close as they could be.
“Denke, Lily. I’d love that. I hope I’m allowed.”
“Of course you will be. Do you want me to ask Aunt Nerida? I’ll say I’m lonely and I need you around for some company.” Lily giggled. “And it’s the truth. I think if I ask Aunt Nerida, she’ll say you can stay.”
This was just what Violet needed, time away from her parents. “I’d be so grateful if you would do that.”
“Gut. That’s settled. I’ll call her when I’m having my morning break.”
“It’s her day to come to the markets, so you might see her soon.”
“Even better. Don’t worry about a thing. We all need a break from our parents every now and again.”
“I could certainly use time away from them right now. We haven’t been getting along too well.” Glancing over at the remaining buckets of flowers, Violet said, “Willow mightn’t be too happy about me going.”
“Just be concerned about yourself for the moment. Willow will survive. You probably need a break from her too.”
Violet nodded, thinking she needed time away from everyone. “Maybe. Are you sure Elijah won’t mind?”
“He’ll be fine. He never says no to anything I want and you can use my buggy while I’m at work and go anywhere you want.”
“Really?”
“Jah.”
Happiness flooded through Violet’s body as she thought of the total freedom she’d have without having to tell her parents where she was at every moment of every day. “Denke, Lily. You’re so kind.”
“It’s more for me than it is for you. I told you I need the company. You’ll have to talk to me a lot of the evenings because Elijah says I talk too much.”
Violet giggled. “I can talk to you and I’ll listen to what you say too.”
Lily threw her arms around Violet’s waist and hugged her tight. “I can’t wait.”
“Me either. Let me know what my mudder says.”
“I’ll try to have an answer by the time you get back this afternoon.”
“Denke.”
Violet invested her energy into unloading the rest of the flowers. A break at Lily’s house away from her parents sounded like just the thing she needed.
* * *
“Have you told her about the birthday party yet?” Nerida asked as she breathlessly burst into Nancy’s kitchen later that day.
Nancy had been humming while kneading bread on the kitchen table.
Nancy jumped. “Oh, you gave me a fright.” Her sister often barged into the house without knocking. It annoyed Nancy, but she didn’t say anything. She was just pleased that they were back on speaking terms again after the dreadful rift they’d had that lasted years.
“Sorry, I didn’t mean to scare you. I saw the door open and came right in.”
“That’s all right. I was just lost in my own world. Were you talking about telling Violet about Hezekiah’s birthday dinner?”
“Jah. That’s right.”
“Nee. She’s your dochder. You should tell her about it.”
“Nee, because then she’d think of a reason not to come if I mentioned it. John and I haven’t been getting along with her very well at the moment. John doesn’t like all the attention she’s been giving Nathan. If she thought we wanted her to go somewhere, she probably wouldn’t. You know how stubborn she is, don’t you?”
“Jah, it runs in the familye.” Nancy frowned at her sister, trying to make sense of what she’d just said, then she added, “You tell her, only don’t call it a party. If she thinks a lot of people will be there, or that it’s a party, she won’t want to come. She’d want to come to her onkel’s birthday dinner.”
“That’s a good idea, so sensible. I’ll tell everyone to call it a dinner. I don’t know why we started calling it a party. Anyway, I stopped by to tell you that our plans might already be heading south.” Nerida’s body trembled.
“What do you mean?” Nancy asked.
“I was at the markets and Lily said she’d asked Violet if she could stay at her haus for a few weeks while Daisy’s away.”
Nancy tapped a finger on her chin. “If she was any other girl, I’d think she’d organized that with Lily so she would be closer to a man.”
Nerida took a step closer to her sister. “You mean she might have an ulterior motive for staying with Lily?”
“Exactly,” Nancy said, turning her attention back to the dough. Once again, she dusted her hands lightly with flour and then she arranged the dough into loaf tins.
“Nee, she’s not like that,” Nerida said, looking annoyed that Nancy would think such a thing of her daughter.
Nancy shut the oven door and stood straight. “What are your thoughts on Nathan Beiler?”
Nerida gasped and put a hand on her chest. “You don’t think she’s sne
aking away to see him, do you? She’s already done that once. At least she admitted to it, I suppose, so she couldn’t have been doing anything bad.”
“Nee. I’m not saying that, Nerida. You do get carried away by things.”
Nerida shook her head. “I told her to keep away from Nathan and so did John. She wouldn’t disobey us. We had a big talk with her about him.”
“Tell me what you think is wrong with him.”
“We told her not to talk to him unless he comes back to the community properly. There’s nothing exactly wrong with him as a person; it’s just that is not one of us. He’s not a member of the community. You see, he’s had plenty of time to return, but he hasn’t bothered.”
“Why does she want to stay with Lily? Maybe a man is involved and it could be someone other than Nathan.”
Nerida tapped a finger on her chin. “Violet’s not a devious girl. She wouldn’t have a reason other than Lily asked her to stay there. Lily told me Elijah goes to bed early and she stays up alone. She's missing Daisy, she said. That could be right and there could be nothing more to it.”
Nancy sighed. “Where does that leave our plans?”
“You’re the expert, Nancy. You tell me.”
“We’ll work out who’s a good match for her and we’ll plan things from there. We’ll turn it to our advantage that she’s staying with Lily. She’ll be out of our way and she won’t suspect a thing.” Nancy chuckled.
“I wish I had your confidence.”
“Trust me. I managed to get all four of my dochders married, even the twins.”
Nerida nodded. “That was impressive. I don’t mean to be rude about the twins, but before they were married they were a little …”
“A little unfocused?”
“Jah. That wasn’t quite what I was going to say, but I didn’t think they would get married until they were a lot older.”
“Marriage matured them.”
“Jah, and it’s nice that the two of them found a way to stay close.”
“Gott always blesses us with what we want when we’re following His ways.”
“Jah, they are blessed. I hope my girls find lovely men too. What’s your secret with matching people together?”
Amish Violet Page 5
