When the night was over, Violet went back home with Elijah and Lily. When they walked in the door, she excused herself and went to bed.
She knew Lily would’ve only wanted to talk about Benjamin and ask why Nathan had suddenly disappeared from the party, and she wasn't up to explaining things that she didn't even fully understand herself.
Violet slowly changed out of her clothes, took off her glasses, and slipped on her nightgown. As she pulled the nightgown over her head, her kapp came off and fell to the floor. She stooped down to pick it up and then tossed it on one of the nightstands in readiness for the next day. Normally, she would’ve brushed out her hair, but tonight she left it in long braids and slipped between the sheets, still not able to get the horrible scene out of her mind.
Anger rose within Violet over Benjamin being the cause of Nathan leaving. He’d had no right to butt into her conversation with Nathan, and what’s more, he’d obviously been listening in on what they'd been saying from his spot around the corner. That fact lowered her opinion of him. Who was he to judge Nathan when he was doing the wrong thing in eavesdropping?
She had to wonder whether her heart longed for Nathan only because he was always just out of reach. Was she scared of having a real relationship, or did she feel safe longing for something that would never be?
Chapter 14
Nancy woke up and saw that Hezekiah was not beside her. She knew that she had overslept; she always woke before him and got up to make his breakfast.
“Hezekiah!” she yelled out. When there was no response, she knew that he had left without waking her. At first, she worried about his heart problem. Was he lying ill somewhere within the house, too weak to call out? Then a smiled tugged at the corners of her lips when she remembered he told her to sleep in after such a late night. He’d gotten up and made his own breakfast and judging by the silence in the house, he’d gotten himself to work. Although she liked to see him off with a hearty cooked breakfast, she didn’t like doing it after a late night. A late morning was far preferable.
There had been well over two hundred people at the dinner and that had meant a lot of cleaning, cooking, and preparation before, and plenty of work afterward. Today there’d still be loads of work to do with cleaning the haus after all the guests.
Nancy lay in bed for a while, soaking up the luxury of those few extra hours of sleep. Her thoughts soon turned to the person for whom the party had really been held, and that was Violet. The birthday dinner had been solely to invite young men who would be suitable for her unmarried niece.
The party had been almost a waste of time because it seemed that Benjamin and Violet were already getting along well, thanks to Elijah inviting him for dinner the week before.
Nathan Beiler presented a problem in the equation. If she had not seen how Violet and Nathan were talking to each other outside the kitchen window right after the party had started, she would've had no concerns. Although she could not hear what was said, she could certainly see how they had looked at one another. She’d only spied on them briefly, not wanting to be discovered. Nancy was sure those two were in love.
Perhaps Violet had said something to him that caused him to leave. Had she let him down gently and told him she didn’t have feelings for him? It had puzzled Nancy and had been on her mind the entire evening, all through the party. If Violet had told him with her mouth that she wasn’t interested, her eyes had said something quite different. If there was one thing Nancy knew about, that was love. She considered herself an excellent matchmaker. Benjamin was her choice for Violet, but did Violet’s heart already reside with another? And was that other man Nathan? What had her niece said that had sent the young man scurrying away from the birthday dinner?
The bigger question was, how could she find out? Recalling that Valerie had done most of the arranging for Nathan's mother's funeral and that she was close to Nathan, she figured Valerie would know a thing or two. Stopping by Valerie’s was as good a place as any to start. She would pay Valerie a visit as soon as she got herself dressed and organized for the day.
* * *
Nancy pushed open the door of Valerie's house and stuck her head through.
“Yoo-hoo. Valerie? Are you home?”
“Jah, I'm just in the kitchen. Come on through.”
She found Valerie in the kitchen, baking. “What on earth are you doing? It looks like quite a project.”
“Why is it so unusual that I'm making cookies? Ed and his boys like my cookies and I like to keep a good supply.”
“I can see the level of concentration on your face.”
“Oh, now, stop it. Sit down and I’ll make you a cup of kaffe.”
“No need. I just had one. I’ll help myself to a glass of water.” Nancy reached for a glass on the high shelf next to the sink and pulled one down. When she’d filled it with water from the tap, she took a sip and then sat down at the kitchen table with the glass clutched in her hands.
“That was a good dinner last night. I think everyone enjoyed themselves,” Valerie said.
“Jah, I hope so, but you know the real reason I had the birthday dinner, don't you?”
“It wasn't to celebrate Hezekiah’s fifty-something-or-other birthday?”
Nancy giggled. “Nerida asked me to find a man for Violet. I think you know that, and anyway, by the time the party came around she'd found one by herself.” Nancy didn't tell Valerie that she was responsible for that as well.
Valerie’s eyes widened as she stared at Nancy. “Jah, and I don't think he is the only one who likes her.”
Nancy leaned forward. “I’m guessing … Do you mean Nathan?”
“Ah. You noticed, too?”
Nancy leaned into the straight wooden back of the chair with both hands still clasped around the glass in front of her. “They were in deep conversation about something. I saw them outside when I looked out the kitchen window. They were by themselves talking, and then he suddenly left. Do you know what that was about?”
“I don't. She's not about to tell me what happened between the two of them.”
“I wasn't thinking of her telling you. I know you're quite close with Nathan.”
Valerie laughed. “Not that close.” She cut out the cookies while Nancy looked on. Then Valerie placed the tray of cookies in the heated oven and washed her hands. “There. Another chore done for the day.” When she sat opposite Nancy, she said, “And anyway, I don’t know if you’d say I was close to him at all. I don't think he would tell me what's on his mind, but I would say we’re friends on some level. He was grateful I helped out with his mudder's funeral. He thanked me several times.”
“Are you worried that he just left the party? Have you spoken with him?”
“I haven't had time. I was thinking of calling over to see him on my way through town. When he arrived, he told me he was coming back to the community. Are you thinking he’s changed his mind just because he left the dinner early?”
“It’s not just that. It was the way he left, so suddenly, as though he was upset by something.”
Valerie looked at her and raised her eyebrows.
“Why don’t we both visit him?” asked Nancy.
“Do you mean today?”
“Why not? Now that I've got no kinner left at home, my days are free.”
“Okay, but after we call in and see Nathan, do you want to come into town with me?”
“That sounds good. I have a few things I need to collect.”
“Can you wait until these cookies bake?” Valerie asked.
Nancy smiled. “I can, but I might need that cup of kaffe after all.”
While Valerie pushed the tray of cookies in the oven, she said, “Coming right up.”
Valerie went along in Nancy's buggy to visit Nathan. When they got there, they were surprised to see a man hammering a ‘for sale’ sign into the front yard.
Valerie got out of the buggy as soon as Nancy pulled it up and she scurried to the front door. Finding it slightly ajar, she p
ushed it open and called out for Nathan. Nancy was right behind her, and looked over her shoulder to see Nathan packing things into boxes.
“Nathan, where are you going?” Valerie asked.
He straightened up. “Hello, Valerie. I’m moving back into the house I was living in before.”
“I thought you were coming back here to stay in the community?” Nancy asked.
“Plans changed.” He scratched his head. “I’m sorry. I should’ve told you.”
* * *
Valerie walked over to him. “Let's sit down and talk about things.”
He shook his head. “It's no use talking about anything. Things have just never worked out for me in the community. I thought I'd give it another go …” He breathed out heavily. “I always seem to end up disappointed.”
Valerie looked over at Nancy, who moved closer, and asked, “Is there anything that we can do? Do you want to speak with the bishop or maybe Hezekiah?” Hezekiah was a deacon and many people found him easier to talk to than the bishop.
“I don't think so. Thank you both for everything you've done. You’ve been really good to me, helping with the funeral and everything.”
“When are you going?” Valerie asked.
“Soon. I’m heading off as soon as I finish packing these few things.”
“I wish you didn’t have to go,” Nancy said.
“You're always welcome back here. You know that, don't you?” Valerie asked.
Nancy could tell Valerie felt motherly toward the young man. Valerie had never had any children of her own, and now this young man had no parents. If he’d stayed on in the community, it might have been good for both of them.
Nancy guessed that him leaving had something to do with Violet, but she didn't like to ask, and besides he probably wouldn't have told her.
“At least let us help you with your packing,” Nancy said.
“I'm just about done. The realtor said he'd see that the rest of the things were cleared out. I’m just taking a few keepsakes, and that's all really. If you know of anyone who wants any furniture, they're welcome to come here and take it.”
“Are you sure, Nathan?”
“Why don’t you leave everything here like this, just for a few months? Your mother has only just gone and you mightn’t be thinking clearly about things in your time of grief. I know when my husband died, I thought about selling the farm and moving away from everything, but I stayed and just sold off the land and kept the haus. Later, I was glad I stayed where I knew people. My family was putting a lot of pressure on me to move.”
He nodded at what Valerie had to say. “I just need to make a clean start of everything.”
“I can understand that,” Valerie said. “If you come back, you don't need this house anyway.”
Nancy added, “You’re always welcome to stay with Hezekiah and me if you decide to return. We’ve got a big house and so many spare bedrooms that we don’t know what to do with them.”
“Thank you. I’ll keep that in mind. That’s very kind of you—both of you.”
“Do you have our addresses so you can write to us?”
“Forget writing, Valerie. Young people don’t do that these days. Stop by and see us sometime. Don't be a stranger, Nathan.”
“I will. I mean, I won’t.” He chuckled. “I will stop by and visit both of you.”
“That would be good.” Nancy stepped forward and gave him a quick hug, and Valerie did the same.
“We don't want you to go, but we’ll leave you to it if we can't talk you out of it,” Valerie said.
They walked to the door and he followed close behind them. When they reached the buggy, they looked back at Nathan, who was standing in the doorway.
Nancy whispered, “Look at him, Valerie. He's like a lost soul, a lost little boy. I just want to put my arms around him and hold him tight.”
Valerie looked back at him and then stepped into the buggy. “There's nothing we can do, Nancy. He wants to leave and there’s nothing we can do about it. We can pray for him and leave him in Gott's hands.”
“Jah, that's exactly what we'll do.” Nancy instructed the horse to move forward and they waved to Nathan as they drove away.
As the buggy made its way into town, Nancy’s thoughts drifted to her niece. She was glad now that Violet had Benjamin to occupy her, and hopefully, in time, she would forget about whatever feelings she’d had for Nathan.
Chapter 15
News in the Amish community travels fast, and when Lily came home and told Violet the news that Nathan had left for good, Violet was devastated. Although Nathan had told her he was going, she had hoped he might have changed his mind.
Violet blinked back tears as she sat opposite her cousin at the kitchen table. “He didn't even say goodbye to me. He can’t have thought I was an important person in his life not to do that. I mean … Oh, I don’t know.”
“It might be just the opposite, Violet. Maybe he thought so much of you that he couldn't bear to say goodbye.”
“That's nice of you to say. I don't know if it's true.”
“Anyway, perhaps you should forget about him. He seems to always make you sad.”
“Really?”
Lily nodded. “You seem much happier with Benjamin.”
“Have you been talking to Willow?”
Lily shook her head. “Nee.”
“She said the very same thing at your vadder’s birthday dinner.”
“Oh, well, perhaps you should listen to both of us.”
“Maybe.”
She didn't know why Nathan had a hold on her heart and if she couldn't explain that to herself, how would she explain it to anybody else? Benjamin had said unwise things to Nathan, but it just showed that Nathan was too easily swayed away from staying in the community and didn’t know what he wanted. Everybody was right about her needing to forget about him, and she decided to make a concentrated effort on doing just that.
* * *
The following Saturday came, the day that she had agreed for Benjamin to take her out somewhere. They were going on a picnic, and Lily had helped her fill a basket with goodies for the picnic. She was still flattered that out of all the other girls in the community he could have been seeing, Benjamin had chosen her. But she couldn't help comparing everything he did and said to Nathan.
If only Nathan had been prepared to overlook other people and realize that not everybody was perfect. Even people in the community weren’t perfect; it seemed like Nathan had expected everybody to be completely without fault, and that just wasn't realistic.
“It's a beautiful day, isn't it?” Benjamin said as the buggy horse clip-clopped his way down the tree-lined road.
The sky was the deepest blue, so blue that it seemed to have a purple tint to it. The fluffy white clouds were pushed along the sky by a cool breeze, which reached down to the tall grasses and wildflowers along the roadside and made them sway as the buggy passed by.
“Jah, it's a lovely day and I am looking forward to this picnic.”
He glanced over at her. “Me too.”
“Oh, did you bring a blanket? I think I remembered everything else but.”
“I've got a couple in the back that we can use.”
“Oh, good.”
“Now, where is this good picnic spot that you know?”
“It's back down by that creek that we were at the other day. The one where you were trying to find stones to skim across the water.” Violet giggled.
He grimaced. “I didn't see any nice grassy areas there for a picnic.”
“It's up further than that spot. It’s quite a distance. But it'll be worth it when we get there.”
He glanced over at her. “You know what?”
“What?”
“Something tells me it's going to be a very special day.”
She smiled when she looked into his handsome face. “Maybe it will be.”
She directed him to the spot she had told him about. When he pulled up the buggy, he secured
his horse, grabbed a blanket, and then lifted the picnic basket out of the back of the buggy.
“Lead the way,” he said.
She pointed over to a grassy spot. “It doesn't look as good as I remembered it. I haven’t been here for years.”
“Nee, I imagined something different when you told me about it.”
She gave a little giggle. “Last time I was here there was more grass. Probably because we haven't had much rain yet.”
He raised his eyebrows and said in a joking, light-hearted manner, “Were you here with another man? Should I be jealous?”
She laughed as they walked on. “Nee, nothing like that. My mudder used to bring my schweschder and me here when we were younger. This was our special place to come. Willow and I would run and run. I don't know why we’d run so much here when we never ran at home in the fields.”
When they reached a grassy patch, he placed the basket down and spread the blanket out. “I feel honored that you would bring me to a special place.”
She sat down on the blanket and opened the basket. “Are you hungry yet?”
“Not just yet. Let's just sit for a while and enjoy the sunshine.”
“Okay. I’ll pour us a glass of cider.”
“Nee, let me do it.” He pulled out the bottle, unscrewed it, and poured out two glasses.
He handed one to her and since he had such a large hand, she’d no choice but to touch his fingers, which he’d seemed to deliberately spread out on the glass.
“Denke,” she said as she took hold of the glass.
He leaned closer to her, and his grin widened into a smile. “It's really nice that I could come to this community and meet a girl like you.”
Not knowing what to say, she took a sip of cider. Seeing that he was waiting for an answer, she said, “Denke, but I’m nothing special.”
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