“You never need a filter,” Leslie said.
“Aw...thanks. I like those three best,” she said, pointing to the same ones Leslie would have chosen.
“Yeah, they are really nice, but are you sure your team is going to want these more candid shots going on your site and audition material?”
Selena scoffed. “After neglecting to inform me of how much danger I was in before, I think I’ll be taking over more of the decisions regarding my career moving forward.”
Well, good for her. Still, Leslie was self-conscious about the images. It wouldn’t just be Selena putting herself out there with this new look. Leslie’s photography had always been private. Now millions of people would see it. “Okay, but maybe we should take new ones, here in LA. On the beach maybe?”
Selena shook her head, her long brown braid swishing back and forth. “These are perfect.”
A message icon popped up on the screen and Leslie’s heart all but stopped.
A new message from Levi.
“Is that Levi, my Levi?” she asked, staring at the name on the screen.
Selena shot her a look with one perfectly arched eyebrow raised. “Oh, so he’s your Levi, now?”
She flushed. “You know what I mean.” She hesitated. Selena and Levi corresponding was none of her business. She knew the star had “friended” most of the people she’d met in Wild River as well. Hell, she’d Skyped with Kaia two days ago. She was an extrovert and liked connecting with people. And staying in touch with the man who’d helped them out was completely natural, expected even. So why was Leslie jealous again? “You’re still in contact with him?” she asked.
“Of course. I told him to reach out if he needed advice or had any questions regarding foundation stuff,” Selena said, casually.
So he was still working on that. Good. That was good. She was glad she hadn’t gotten between him and Mrs. Powell. “Oh, right. That’s good.” She paused. “How... How is he?” Did that sound casual?
“Good. I’ve set up a GoFundMe page for the foundation on the new website. It will help them collect donations throughout the year, not just during events.”
“Wow. Does he ever mention—I mean, does he ask about me?” Damn, why had she asked that? What did it matter? And if he wanted to check in with her, he could text or call anytime.
She’d answer the phone, wouldn’t she?
She’d definitely answer a text.
“Don’t answer that,” she said quickly.
Selena did anyway. “He does. Every single time we chat.”
Her heart had lodged itself in her throat and she nodded casually. “So, these three photos, then?”
“You’re in love with him.”
She swung toward her with a scoff designed to make people keep their distance. “No... I’m...”
Selena eyed her. “I’m the expert on love, remember?”
“You’re the expert on fake love,” Leslie argued, but her words were only half-hearted.
“I spent a week and a half glued to your side and the only time you were even remotely relaxed or happy was when things started getting friendly with Levi. And the tension between you both was full of sexual chemistry even in the beginning. You were different with him.”
“Okay, fine... I love him.” It was the first time she’d even admitted it to herself and she knew it was true. “But you know why it’s complicated.”
Selena shot her a look. “You want complicated? Try dating your on-set intimacy coordinator.”
Leslie almost laughed. Leave it to Selena to find the most awkward situation to put herself in. “Well, so you get it.” She hadn’t been able to erase thoughts of Levi from her mind in weeks; she really didn’t want to talk about him. It hurt too much.
But the star was adamant. “No, I don’t get it. He loves you. You love him. As much as you adore me, I’m not enough to keep you in LA. Neither is this job. You want to make a real difference in the world, maybe start by making a difference in Levi’s.”
Leslie studied her. “I don’t remember that line from any of your movies.”
Selena slapped her arm. “That’s because it’s not. It’s from the heart. Look, I know I can be a pain in the ass and out of touch with reality, but what I saw between you and Levi? That shit’s real. The pain you both went through connects you.”
“Right. We’re connected by my fiancé’s death.” How could they both move forward together with Dawson’s ghost overshadowing their future? And if Levi was continuing with the foundation, then obviously he and Mrs. Powell were okay again and Leslie didn’t want to come between them or cause unnecessary conflict.
“No. You both knew Dawson. You both loved Dawson. But you both lost Dawson. And as hard as that was and no matter how much you both still miss him and want to respect his memory, no one would fault either of you for moving on. And I truly believe that Dawson would be happier knowing you’d found one another in a true connection, than for both of you to blame him for not taking the chance on what you both want most. More than that—what you both deserve.”
“I don’t know. It’s been a long time.” Really only a few weeks, but the longer the silence grew between them, the harder it seemed to get back to any kind of progress they may have made during their time together.
“You have to stop running when faced with conflict,” Selena said.
“What are you talking about? I face conflict all the time. It’s my life. My career.”
“Right. When you’re protecting other people. But when it comes to your own personal conflicts—your fears—you run. You ran when you and your mom couldn’t see eye to eye, you ran after Dawson died...now you’re running from this. Running from Levi.”
It was so true. But how did she stop running when it was her way of self-preservation all these years?
It would be so easy to listen to Selena. To use her friend’s words as permission to go for it with Levi. But she still wasn’t sure she could do it. “I don’t know. I need more time to think about everything that happened... With some distance comes perspective, right?”
Selena nodded. “I thought you’d say that, so...” Reaching into her purse, she took out an envelope and handed it to Leslie.
A plane ticket for Anchorage. Leslie’s eyes widened as she saw the date and time on the ticket. “This leaves in two hours.”
Selena nodded. “In my experience, impulsive decisions are always the right ones.”
Leslie raised an eyebrow. “Yeah, I don’t think so.”
“When it comes to matters of the heart—absolutely. Stop overthinking this. Remember how you felt when you were with him.”
She did. It was all she could think about.
“Hold on to that feeling and go get him, before you throw yourself back into work and once again try to hide who you are and what you really want. You don’t want to keep living this shell of an existence, Leslie.”
She hesitated.
“That line was from a movie,” Selena said, getting up and easing Leslie up from her chair. “My driver’s waiting for you.”
Her heart raced. Oh God. Could she actually do this? “What about you? I can’t just leave you. I’m your security detail.”
“I called an agency already. They are sending a guy over right away.”
“So, you fight to get me my job back, and now you’re firing me?”
Selena hugged her. “I just wanted more time to turn you into a friend. Some people say, I’m an acquired taste.”
Leslie laughed, then sobered, staring at the plane ticket in her hand. “What do I say to him?”
“Tell him you love him and that’s enough. After all,” Selena said with a wink, “this isn’t some cheesy rom-com.”
CHAPTER TWENTY-THREE
STARING AT HER family home the next day, Leslie couldn’t help but wonder if maybe not all famili
es could resolve their issues, overcome their differences. So many years had passed and a lot of life had happened. They’d never been able to bring up the past without arguing. Maybe they were too late?
The only way she’d know was if she went inside.
“You don’t have to go in,” Eddie said, putting his van in Park and turning to face her.
Didn’t she? Since this whole mess had happened, the weight of her past mistakes and unresolved issues weighed heavier on her now that she was acknowledging them. She’d never find peace if she kept running. Selena had been right to call her out on her usual way of handling uncomfortable situations.
“She’s probably seen the van by now,” Leslie said.
“I can run in and make up some excuse for stopping by,” Eddie said. “She doesn’t know you’re back in town yet.”
She’d crashed at his place the night before but could she be back permanently in Wild River and not have this heart-to-heart? Family gatherings had always been stressful. Everyone always suffered because of the tension between them. It had to stop. If there was some way to come to a truce, it would benefit everyone she cared about.
“Thanks, but I think I need to do this.” Even if they could never see eye to eye or have a close mother-daughter relationship, Leslie needed to offer the olive branch. Her mother had hurt her, but she’d hurt her as well and forgiveness couldn’t start, healing couldn’t start, until someone said they were sorry.
And if she was moving back to Wild River, she didn’t want the strained relationship or the what-ifs plaguing her new future...whatever that may look like.
She unbuckled her seat belt and gave Eddie a quick hug. “Thanks for the ride.”
“No problem...want me to wait?”
A getaway driver would only make it easier for her to escape if things went sideways. No more running. She was facing conflict head-on. One step at a time. “No. I’ll be okay.” If things didn’t go well, she could jog back into town to let off steam.
“Okay. Don’t forget Kaia’s school play is tonight at seven at the junior high school.”
“I’ll be there,” she said, climbing out of the van. She shut the door and took several deep, calming breaths as she walked up the stairs to the front door.
Knock? Or just go in?
She still had her old house key on her key ring. So many times she’d thought she should get rid of it, but could never bring herself to.
She knocked.
Her mother’s look of surprise quickly evaporated, replaced by one of tremendous relief as she stepped out onto the porch and wrapped Leslie in a hug.
The lump in her throat was so thick she could barely breathe. This had to be the first real hug she’d gotten from her mother...in years. She couldn’t even remember the last one. Even at Christmas, they’d do an awkward one-arm, shoulder squeeze thing. Never a full hug. Realizing her arms still hung at her sides, she lifted them slowly and hugged her mom back.
From the corner of her eye, she saw Eddie watching from the van and waved him on. Their rare display of affection for one another wasn’t a spectator sport. She heard the van drive away as she pulled back slowly.
Her mother wiped an eye quickly and then scanned Leslie’s face. Her black eye had faded to a yellowish hue, but the look of concern on her mother’s face was still there. “I’m so grateful you’re okay,” she said, sounding slightly choked.
She wasn’t the only one. “I’m fine. Just a few bruises, that’s all.” And a fractured cheekbone and third degree burns still healing on her hand, but she wasn’t there to talk about the craziness of the last month. Injuries were part of their chosen careers. “I’m moving back home,” she said. Then realizing her word choice, she said, “I mean to Wild River...not home...home.”
Her mother nodded slowly. “I mean you could. I mean if you wanted to... Just temporarily obviously, we’re not going to be permanent roommates or anything. That would be weird. But until you find a place of your own.”
To say the offer came as a shock would be an understatement and she couldn’t find the right words.
“I’m just putting it out there that you could stay here—if you want,” her mother added awkwardly.
Could she though? She hadn’t lived with her mother in over twelve years. Would they be able to put their differences aside that easily? Had it really only taken this experience for them to realize life was far too short to shut out the people who loved them? She’d done a lot of thinking in the last few days and she understood now everything her mother had been trying to do. She didn’t agree with all of it, but she suspected her mother regretted some of it as well. And she was finally able to acknowledge her own part in everything. “I’m not sure that’s the best idea... It’s not a terrible idea,” she said quickly when her mother looked disappointed, “but I think maybe we start slow? Baby steps.”
Her mother nodded eagerly. “Like brunch?”
Leslie laughed. “Like brunch.”
An awkward silence hung over them. “Um...should we hug again or...?”
“I think one was enough,” she said.
Her mother looked relieved. Baby steps. “Did you want to come in? Were you here to visit?”
“Yeah, if you’re not busy.”
“Not at all. Actually, I received a bit of a surprise the other day.” She moved back into the house and Leslie followed her inside. The usual gripping feeling in her chest she normally experienced upon being in her former family home, around her mother, didn’t appear and she took it as a good sign.
In the kitchen, her mother handed her an envelope.
“What’s this?” Leslie took it and read the return address. LA. Selena’s address. She frowned. “Selena sent you a letter?” That was old school. Leslie had assumed Selena wouldn’t have known what to do with a stamp.
Then again, she’d underestimated her quite a bit. If she was being completely honest, she missed the woman already. Which was unexpected—the star had driven her insane.
“Yes,” her mother said. “And um...she’s right about everything she says.”
Oh no. “What did she say?” she asked slowly.
“Just that family was too important to throw away because of differences. That a bond between mother and daughter should be stronger than anger and hurt.”
Leslie took a breath. “I’m sure she stole that line from a recent script,” she said with a teasing grin.
“She also sent this,” her mother said, taking a check out of the envelope. “To cover the cost of the cabin.”
Leslie’s eyes widened at the number of zeros. Holy shit! This was quite the apology.
The sticky note attached read “Hoping this will help with the rebuild. Still lots of memories to be made.”
“Wow.” This amount of money could build two cabins. “This was generous of her.”
“Yep.” Her mother leaned against the counter and stared at her for a long moment. “I mean, I was thinking of just sending it back... We can’t really accept it, can we?”
“If I know Selena, she’d just hire someone to come build the cabin for us. She’s a little headstrong when she cares about something.”
“Oh...okay. So, we should keep this gift from her?”
Leslie nodded. “She’d be offended otherwise.”
“But do we even want to rebuild the cabin?”
Suddenly, Leslie wanted to rebuild so much more. So many aspects of her life had been put on hold the last few years while she buried her feelings and held on to a past that no longer let her choose her own happiness.
“I definitely think we should rebuild,” she said. “Selena’s right—there are still more memories to be made.”
* * *
THE JUNIOR HIGH school gym was standing room only by the time the play was about to start that evening. Leslie scanned the auditorium from the second-row seat they
’d been able to snag because Eddie had insisted on getting there two hours early. Her brother’s affection for his girlfriend’s daughter was obvious and it didn’t surprise Leslie how wonderful he was at this future stepdad role. Eddie really knew how to step up to responsibilities and seeing the three of them together, Leslie knew the admiration they all held for one another was mutual.
“I think there’s more people here than at Selena’s movie premiere,” she said.
“I heard that,” Selena said, as her face appeared on Leslie’s phone via FaceTime. She was filming on set, but had insisted on being there remotely to see Kaia’s performance. Leslie wouldn’t admit how much that meant to her. Since leaving LA the day before, Selena had texted six times. And Leslie had texted back.
“Seriously, check it out,” she said, holding the phone up and scanning the auditorium for Selena to see the crowd.
“Holy shit, that’s awesome. Is Kaia nervous?” she asked.
Leslie had seen the little girl only momentarily when she’d arrived with Tank and Cassie, to wish her good luck with her performance, but she’d been almost vibrating. “I think she’s excited.” Leslie scanned all the parents around her. They were the ones who looked nervous. It had to be every parent’s worst fear that their kid would embarrass themself or feel disappointed in their performance, especially after working so hard...but Kaia was so lucky to have her brother and Montana and Tank and Cassie so invested in her. She was a lucky kid.
The school’s drama teacher appeared on stage at the microphone and a silence fell over the crowd as she welcomed everyone to the performance. A round of applause later and the red velvet curtain lifted.
The set was really well done and the familiar balcony from Romeo and Juliet had Leslie’s emotions acting up even before the iconic, romantic tragedy began.
What was wrong with her? These were preteens acting out Shakespeare and yet her heart was in her throat throughout the entire play. Lovers that weren’t destined to be together. Lives lost, wasted because of young love...
Stars Over Alaska Page 27
