“You didn’t tell me we’d be mountain climbing,” she’d said during a more strenuous part of the trail.
“Now who’s the slacker?”
She laughed. “Touché, Sloane.”
An hour later, we rounded a corner and came to the view of the waterfall. She gasped. “Mitch, it’s beautiful.”
I draped an arm around her. “Isn’t it?”
We stood in silence, listening to the sound of water falling and birds chirping. “Come on. I’ve got a secret spot.”
I led her off the path.
“There aren’t’ snakes are there?” She asked, following me through the foliage.
“Not if you watch where you step.” I finally reached the secret spot I’d often come when I needed to think and reflect. It was off the trail, secluded and hidden from other hikers. The view was even more spectacular than from the lookout point on the trail.
“We’re not going to the river?” she asked.
“We can later.” I took my pack off, pulling out a blanket, water, and some snacks.
“Were you a boy scout?” she asked as I unfurled the blanket. “You’re so prepared.”
“Tiger Cub was as far as I got in Scouting. I liked soccer better, and with four boys in my family, we each got only one activity until we were old enough to take the bus by ourselves or drive.”
Once the blanket was down, I held her hand and helped her down. I sat next to her, handing her a bottle of water.
“Do you come here a lot?” she asked, opening her bottle and drinking.
“At least once a month. This is the place where I decided to sell my company rather than go public.”
“Oh.” She sat quietly looking out over the waterfall.
“It’s also where I decided not to fight for Gwen.”
She looked at me. “That was an option?”
I shrugged. “Goals and plans are a good thing unless they lock you into a path you don’t like. I’d been locked into going public and marrying her. I didn’t know if I could or how I could get out of it.”
“I’m glad you did. You deserve so much better than them.”
I reclined back on my elbows. “Something about this place opened my mind. My initial thought was to chuck it all and walk away, which I immediately dismissed. But then I thought, why not? I remembered the many offers I’d gotten over the years to buy the company. The longer I sat there, the more clarity I got in my life. All I wanted was this.” I nodded toward the waterfall. “Natural beauty. Calm. Peace. Easy living.”
I expected her to ask me if it was still enough and didn’t I want more, but she leaned back on her elbows next to me.
“That’s a pretty insightful waterfall.”
I laughed. “Natures full of answers, if you’re willing to turn off the autoplay in your head.”
“You should be a self-help guru.”
“I know it’s corny, but—”
“It’s not corny.” She turned to her side. “Thank you for sharing this place. And that piece of you.”
I was glad she understood where I was coming from and appreciated why I couldn’t go after goals the way she was. I also hoped she realized that a part of me wished I could be different, because if I were, perhaps she and I would have a future. Not that I would say that to her, but maybe in this beautiful sacred place, she’d feel it.
“Have you ever had sex outside?” I asked her.
Her brow rose. “You want to have sex here? Is that your usual pick up line when you bring your dates here.”
“You’re the only person I’ve brought here.”
Her breath hitched, and I hoped that meant she understood that I thought she was special.
“No, I haven’t.” She said. “We won’t be seen or arrested?”
“We can’t be seen from the trail.” I drew the back of my fingers over her soft cheek.
“I guess you came prepared for that too?” She smiled.
I reached over and pulled out a strip of condom packets from the backpack.
“You are prepared.”
“Only when you’re around.” I tugged her to me, lying face to face on the blanket. I pulled her into a soft, slow kiss, turning the heat up by slow degrees. Time was running out, and so I wanted to take my time, make this moment last. Whatever came in the future, I wanted her to remember this day, this moment, my touch.
Hope—He Loves Me Not
Hope
I tried to figure out a way to prolong my stay for the full month, but I just couldn’t make it work without it being obvious that I was hanging on. I knew Mitch cared for me, but I also knew nothing would come of it. He was set in his ways. He was determined to live a simple life that didn’t involve risking his heart again. As much as it hurt me, I had to respect that. So, I told him I’d be leaving at the end of the week, and then buried myself in my work to start the weaning process.
When he asked for time together, the practical part of me said I should say, “no.” But my heart wanted to have as much time with him as he’d give me. So I went with him to his special spot.
The location was beautiful, and I could see why he’d love it. But I hadn’t been prepared for him to open up and tell me the significance of what had happened there. I understood that he wanted me to know why he was the way he was now. This place had helped him find freedom from the obligations he felt he had to his partner and Gwen, even though they’d betrayed him. In my mind, he wasn’t as free as he thought he was. He was able to leave them behind, which I agreed was good, but he wasn’t free of them. The scars they left on his heart kept him from fully living.
I’d told him all this before. I didn’t want to ruin his special place by bringing it up again, so instead, I accepted his words. And then I accepted his embrace, his kiss, his body.
During my time with Mitch, the sex was usually playful or desperate. For me, in particular, I was always in a hurry to feel him inside me. But I could tell from Mitch’s kiss that this time, it would be different. He took the kiss slowly, turning up the heat in little increments. Then he nibbled on my lips, trailed kisses along my jaw, sucked in my ear. He didn’t touch or press his arousal against me. He just kissed until I couldn’t take it and I needed more.
I ran my hands under his shirt, feeling his strong back as I tugged it off. He pulled it over his head and set it on his pack. His gaze held mine as his hand trailed along my jaw, down my collarbone, and between my breasts. One by one, he undid the snaps on my shirt, letting his fingers gently brush against my skin. It was like he was setting me on fire with little sparks.
Finally, my shirt and bra were off, but he still held my gaze as the palm of his hand rolled over my nipple, making me moan.
“You have perfect tits, Hope.”
I arched into his hand, wanting more. Needing so much more. “Mitch.” My tone was pleading. I’d beg if I had to.
He smiled and then leaned over, licking the tip of my nipple.
“Don’t tease me.” I ran my fingers through his dark hair, pulling his mouth to my breast.
He cupped my breast and then wrapped his mouth around my nipple and suckled.
“Yes, Mitch.” Pleasure radiated down to my center, causing my hips to move, seeking his body in return.
I reached between us, slipping my fingers in the waistband of his jeans, and brushing the tip of his dick. He hissed out a breath, moving away.
“I want you naked,” I said. “I want to feel your body against mine.”
He groaned, and thank goodness, he gave in, and in a short time, we were naked, lying side by side on the blanket.
“The ground his hard,” he said. “You should be on top.” He pulled me until I was over his body, his hard dick pressed between our bellies.
I sat up and ran my hands down his chest, over his beautiful dove tattoo and then lower. I liked the feeling of being in charge.
“There’s no hurry,” he said, as if he knew what I wanted most was to sink over him and ride him until my cry echoed in the w
oods.
He was right, of course. Our time was running out, so I needed to go slow and to savor this moment. I needed to savor this man. The one that I loved.
Tears stung my eyes for a moment as the magnitude of my feelings swept over me. I loved him. I was sure I always loved him even when I thought I hated him. And like nine years ago, I had to let him go. This time I wouldn’t be angry though. This time I’d remember this day and hope that he remembered it too.
He reached for the strip of condoms, tearing one off, and opening it.
“Can I roll it on?” I asked.
“Sure.” He gave it to me.
I held the tip as my mother once told me to do when she was giving me the sex talk and rolled it over his length. He moaned, and his hips rose as I covered him.
I rose up on my knees and gripped him, positioning him at my entrance. His hands caressed my thighs as I lowered down over him until he was seeped inside me. I didn’t move. Our gazes caught and held. At that moment, I felt closer to him than I'd ever felt to anyone.
He levered up, his hand going behind my neck and pulling my mouth to his. His kiss was sweet and tender. I wrapped my arms around his shoulders, and held on to him, wishing it could be forever.
My body instinctively contracted and massaged him, forcing him to break the kiss.
“Fuck…your pussy…” he buried his face in my neck as his hands wrapped around my body.
I started to rock. “I feel you pulsing inside me, Mitch.”
“So good, Hope. God, you feel so good.” He looked into my face, our gazes catching again as we moved together in a perfect dance. Slowly the need built, and still, we continued to watch each other.
His hands rubbed my back, then roamed my body, squeezing my breasts, tweaking my nipples. But our gazes never broke contact.
“I need to come.” His voice was strained.
I moved faster, riding him harder. He felt so good inside me. The friction grew and grew until I was on edge. I desperately needed to come, and yet, I didn’t want the moment to end.
Ultimately, my body had the final say. I sank down on him, and my entire world shattered into a million bits of bliss. I cried out, squeezing him hard, throwing my head back as my orgasm raced through my body.
He growled and then yelled out as his own release followed mine. His hands on my hips, moving them to the speed and pace he needed to draw out his pleasure. Together we moved like a boat on stormy water until finally, I collapsed on him.
His hands wrapped around me, holding me tight against him. He kissed my temple, but no words were said. What could be said? The only thing that came to mind was, “I love you,” but I knew I couldn’t tell him that. So, I lay with my head on his chest, feeling the beat of his heart against my cheek, and wishing it beat with love for me.
“Hope?”
“Hmm?” I lifted my head and looked down into his dark eyes, hoping beyond hope that he was going to tell me he loved me or ask me to stay.
His fingers ran through my hair and held my face. I thought I saw emotion in his eyes, and my breath caught.
He looked like he was going to say something, but instead, he pulled me in for a kiss. My heart broke a little bit at that moment, but I knew it would be worse when I got into my car in a few days and drove away.
After a few moments, he reached between us to hold the condom as our bodies parted. “Oh, fuck.”
“What?” I moved off of him, and it was then I noticed there was semen dripping from me. Oh no.
He sat up, removing the condom. “Fuck it broke.” He turned to me, and I saw horror in his eyes. That too broke my heart a little bit even though the situation scared me also.
“Tell me you’re on the pill.”
I shook my head. “But I think it will be okay,” I said, although I didn’t know why. I started calculating where I was in my cycle. My period would be arriving shortly, so surely I was past ovulation.
“My cum is in your body,” he looked at me incredulously.
“Yes, but I think I’m past the optimum time.”
He simply stared.
“In my cycle. I think it’s past the time that conception would occur.”
“Are you sure?”
No. “Pretty sure. I’m supposed to start my period in a few days.”
He looked toward the waterfall, but I wondered if he really saw it. Finally, he turned back. “If you’re wrong, and you get pregnant—”
“I’m sure that won’t happen. It will be fine.” Feeling nervous, I reached for my clothes. I wasn’t sure what he was going to stay, and so I was afraid to hear it.
“I’ll be there for you and the baby. Whatever you need.”
I was relieved to hear that and yet sad too. He’d be there, but we wouldn’t be a family.
“Like I said, I’m sure it’s okay.”
“You’ll let me know? Since you’ll be gone?”
God, how many times could my heart split? Of all the time to ask me to stay, and yet he was still going to let me go. “Yes, of course.”
He reached for me, tugging me closer. “I’m sorry, Hope.”
“It happens.”
He shook his head. “Not with me, it doesn’t. At least it never has. You?”
“No.” But then, I didn’t have a lot of experience.
The hike back to the car was less enjoyable than the trip up. We tried to act normal for the rest of the night, but I could see the weight of what happened hung heavy on him. I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t concerned about the possibility of being pregnant, but what was painfully clear was that my worry would be non-existent if he loved me. The idea of having his child appealed to me in a way that surprised me. I could envision me running my business and Mitch being an at-home dad. I could probably work from home some, at least in the beginning since I had no staff. Hell, he could help me with the business. We could be partners, which would make sense because he’d created software that I was sure could make a fortune.
It was his insistence to never love again that made this situation difficult and made me hope that I was right in that it was too late for me to get pregnant. I believed him when he said he’d be there for me and a baby. I suspected he’d even suggest we get married. But that wasn’t how I wanted things to be with us. I wanted him to love me and want me for me.
In hindsight, I should have known that this wouldn’t end well. He’d been clear the whole time about how he planned to live out his life. Initially, I’d thought I was okay with this no-strings-attached affair, but in retrospect, I think I’d hoped he’d change his mind.
At this point, I really only had two choices. I could tell him how I felt and hope that knowing I loved him, he’d be willing to trust me and let me in his life. The other option was to walk away as planned. I could stick within the parameters of our agreement and move on with my life. I hated that option, but as it turned out, he wasn’t the only one who wanted to avoid being hurt. Confessing my love and having him tell me that he didn’t feel the same, would devastate me. Especially since I suspected he’d feel bad about it.
Nope. Walking away was the answer. I felt fortunate that I had something to fill my time. Getting my business off the ground would distract me from any feelings of loss about leaving him.
Mitch—Fucked Up Again
Mitch
The hike to the waterfall didn’t go as planned. Wasn’t there a saying about best-laid plans? The trip had been a way to let her know that I thought she was special. Instead, I had a condom malfunction, the ramifications of which could change both our lives forever. A month-long no-strings affair wasn’t possible if it ended in a pregnancy. Babies were forever, or at least eighteen years.
Truth be told, as scary as being a father seemed if she was pregnant, I thought I’d be okay. I didn’t know how it would work between Hope and me, but the idea of her carrying my child had a certain appeal. It proved to me that in different circumstances if I was a different man that hadn’t been changed by betrayal, she and I
might have had a future together.
But it was clear to me that having a child and being saddled to me wasn’t what she wanted. I wasn’t sure if she was right or if it was wishful thinking on her part that it was too late in her cycle to get pregnant. I remembered learning health in school, but not paying that much attention to the female reproductive system short of staring at the tits. Whatever it was, a child didn’t fit into her plans. She had a business to build. It was going to take long hours, lots of work, meetings, and other things that would be more difficult during pregnancy and having a baby. So, I tried not to take it personally that she was upset at what happened.
What really got to me was that it was supposed to be a beautiful last hurrah with Hope, but it failed miserably. It appeared that despite my best efforts, we were going to part ways and we would not be much better off than we had been nine years ago. I wondered if it was something about her or me, or the combination of us together that always had us ending in disaster. It was a reminder that the fairy tale that two of my brothers seemed to be living wasn’t in the cards for me.
That evening was awkward, and I didn’t fight it when Hope decided to spend the time working. I hung out with Duke and then went to bed. She wasn’t there when I woke first thing in the morning, and I suspected she hadn’t come to bed, at least in my bed, during the night.
Sighing, I got up and did my regular morning routine. When she didn’t join me in the kitchen, I decided on a morning run instead of a walk. Feeling unsettled, I decided on a longer route. I ran for nearly an hour, arriving back thirsty and still feeling off-kilter.
Hope was in the kitchen having coffee. “You left without me.”
“When you didn’t come to bed last night and weren't here this morning, I figured you didn’t want to come.” How was this unraveling so spectacularly?
“I feel asleep working.”
I poured myself some coffee and sat across from her. “I’m sorry. I guess I should have come looking for you. I just thought…”
Her Mountain Hero Page 12
