It was too late to arrange a Sunday dinner for tonight, but I did call my parents and let them know I was home and to find out when I had to be out of the house. They told me I had to be out of the house in two weeks. Then I talked to them about getting together on Sundays as a family. My mother worried that Parker’s life was too busy for that, but I assured her that both her kids were never too busy for their parents.
As I lay in bed on Sunday night, I couldn’t stop the thoughts of Mitch filling my brain. Even on the nights we hadn’t had sex, being next to him in bed had been so lovely. I’d thought by not sleeping with him the last two nights, I’d wean myself from him, but now I just regretted the missed opportunity to have two more nights by his side.
I hoped that missing Mitch would get easier soon. Maybe once the week started, I’d be distracted enough that I wouldn’t think of him and wonder how he was doing or wish that I could see him again.
To a certain extent, being busy did work to distract me from thoughts of Mitch. Each day over the next week, I had appointments that required all my mental focus. I met with potential manufacturers and was able to weed one out immediately, but two others remained strong possibilities. I left a design with each of them asking for samples.
I met with the bank to have an interview as the final part of the loan process. The hiccup there was they asked about my dad’s business, and clearly had concerns that somehow his liabilities were mine. I assured them that that wasn’t the case, and crossed my fingers that all went well. Without money, all this work would be nothing. The heartbreak I was suffering because I went to the mountains to plan my dream would have been for nothing.
While my days were full, at night in bed, I still thought of Mitch. Was he happy now that he was back to his old life? Did he miss me at all? Was Lydia hitting on him and would he succumb to her young nubile body? Oh, Hope, just stop.
The next Sunday, I was at my parents’ house for dinner. No one grilled, but my mother did make a lovely ham. When we first sat at the table, my mother started crying.
“Oh, I’m sorry…blubbering like an old lady.”
“What’s wrong honey?” my father reached over and took her hand. Despite the financial strain, their marriage still seemed strong.
“Just having us all together like this. I didn’t realize how long it’s been. Or how much I needed it. Thank you, Hope, for arranging this.”
“Of course, mom.” I leaned over and gave her a side hug.
During the meal, we chatted. Parker shared about the goings ons at his firm, and I told them my progress on my business, leaving out the part about the potential issues with the bank. My father felt bad enough about his poor business decisions and their effect on the family. I didn’t want him to worry about the potential of it impacting my business.
“Oh honey, the new owners of the house want to get in and measure. Can you make time for that?” my mother said. “I hate to put you out.”
“No problem,” I said.
“Have you found a new place yet?” my father asked.
“No, not yet.” I’d found some possibilities, but hadn’t had time to check them out.
“Why don’t you come and stay with me,” Parker said. “You’ll save money for your business, and I’ve got the room.”
“I can’t invade your space,” I said.
“You won’t. It’s quiet during the day so you can work, and like I said, it will be one less thing for you to worry about.” Parker forked up some ham and ate it. “Can you cook?”
“A little.” I suppose it would be a fair trade. Room and board in exchange for cooking.
“You should do it, Hope. Get your business legs under you without having too many expenses,” my father said.
“If it won’t be too much trouble,” I said to Parker.
“Nah, it will be fun. Pack your stuff up. We can move you out next weekend if you want. What’s going to happen with the furniture in the river house?”
“You can take it, Hope,” my mother said.
“I don’t need all of that, especially going to Parker’s. He’s already got furniture.”
“I’ll arrange to have it put in storage,” Parker said.
That’s how on Saturday morning the following week I woke to my brother and Mitch at my door. Seeing Mitch again made my heart jump into my throat. I wanted to grab him and kiss him and tell him how much I missed him. Instead, I clasped my hands in front of me to make them behave.
“I roped Mitch into helping. What stuff do you need moved?” Parker said, entering the house.
“It’s not much,” I said, having a hard time keeping my eyes off Mitch. “Just boxes. I don’t think you needed to drag your friends here.”
Mitch flinched. “I don’t mind.”
“The more people we have, the faster this goes and the fewer trips we have to make,” Parker said.
“Most of the boxes are stacked there in the living room. The furniture stays. Did you get someone to store it?” I asked Parker.
“Yep. They’ll come on Monday.”
Parker yammered away as we carried boxes of my stuff out to the truck Parker had rented. I tried to avoid being alone with Mitch because I couldn’t trust myself not to do something crazy, like throw myself at him, especially since it was so important to Mitch that Parker never found out about us.
About midway through moving my stuff, Parker’s cell phone rang. “I’ve got to take this,” he said, heading out the back door along the river, leaving me alone with Mitch.
An awkward silence filled the air, until finally, he said, “How’s the startup going?”
“Good.” I opened a bottle of water and drank as my mouth had gotten dry. “Just trying to get through the final stages of the loan and waiting for samples from the manufacturers.”
Mitch frowned. “Is there a problem with the loan? I thought that was pre-approved.”
I shook my head. I didn’t need Mitch knowing more about my family’s issues. “No. You know how banks are. Wanting to make sure we can pay the loan back.”
He nodded.
“How are you? How’s Duke?”
“Duke is spending the day at my mother’s with George. Once I’m done here, I’ll be at Gabe and Sam’s place. They have some sort of home and garden dinner thing, and I told them that since I’d be in the area, I’d watch Annabelle for them.”
My heart broke a little more. He was such a loving man. How I wanted to see him taking care of his niece. It was probably the most adorable thing in the world. Why was he turning his back on having that sort of love for himself?
“Everything okay with you?” he asked me.
“Great. Perfect,” I lied.
“Sorry about that,” my brother said, coming back into the house. “Let’s finish up. I’ve got a date tonight.”
When we finally got all my stuff to Parker’s house and unloaded into the room he was letting me stay in, I was sad the time was over. As hard and awkward as it was, I liked being around Mitch. At the same time, I was going to be glad not to have to keep myself in check. I was sure Parker was going to wonder why I was ogling his friend.
As Mitch went to leave, he gave me a kiss on the cheek. “If you need anything, Hope, let me know.” I assumed he meant about my business, but he’d already given me enough.
He shook Parker’s hand.
“Want to get together soon at the links?” Parker asked. “I’m going to beat your score the next time.”
“You do know that I have a lot of free time to practice my swing and putting,” Mitch teased.
“If that idle leisure life doesn’t work out, maybe you can become a golf pro.”
Mitch thought about it. “That’s not a bad idea.” He waved as he headed out to his vehicle.
“He’s a good friend,” Parker said, draping an arm around me.
“Yes.”
Parker looked at me. “I’m trying not to take it so personally that you look so sad about moving in here.”
Did I?
“It’s not that, Parker. I really appreciate this. I’m just tired. It’s been a long few weeks.”
When I woke exhausted and feeling puny Monday morning was when I realized two things: One, Mitch’s comments about helping me if I needed anything were likely his way of asking if anything came of our condom malfunction, and two, I hadn’t had my period as I’d expected. I’d been so sure that I couldn’t be pregnant that I’d pushed it out of my head. But I was at least a week late.
I went to a store and bought a pregnancy test and brought it back to Parker’s house. Thankfully he was at work. In the bathroom he’d assigned me off the bedroom I was using, I read and followed the directions, then I sat on the toilet seat with my fingers and toes crossed that I wasn’t pregnant.
Five minutes later, when I looked at the stick, I couldn’t move.
'PREGNANT'
I leaned back against the tank. This wasn’t a good time, and Mitch was the wrong man. No, not wrong. But he didn’t want me or this. I knew he’d have to know, but since he didn’t love me and had decided to not have a family, was there something I could do to eliminate his obligation? I had no doubt he’d step up, but neither me nor my child needed someone acting out of duty but not being emotionally involved.
I tossed the box and the stick in the trash, and went to my room. I really needed to work on my business, but all my energy was now gone. I decided to give in to it for that day, and then tomorrow I’d start up again. My samples would be done soon, and then I’d need to choose a manufacturer, and assemble my first collection to use to sell to stores. Of course, I still needed the money from the bank.
The next day, I still felt puny and exhausted, but I dragged myself to the work area Parker gave me for an office. The good news that day was that the bank called and they approved my loan. I was sure I’d have to jump through more hoops, so I was surprised, but of course happy.
Wednesday was more of the same. I wondered if I was depressed or if the baby was what was making it so hard to get motivated. I was exhausted all the time. I lay in bed, rubbing my still flat belly.
“We’ll be alright.” I looked down, and it finally hit me what was going on. I had Mitch’s child inside me. All of a sudden, warmth and emotion filled me. He might not want a family, but I did. The time might not be right, and the man didn’t want this, but I was ready. I was thirty, after all. I didn’t have much time left.
When Parker got home that night, we had dinner, then he putzed around the house doing chores. When he was finished, he grabbed a beer and sat with me on his deck.
“What’s going on with you, Hope?” he asked.
“Just working hard on my business. My loan came through, did I tell you?”
He studied me over his beer bottle as he took a sip. “Yes, but you don’t seem yourself.”
I shrugged. “Just tired.”
“Could this have anything to do with it?” He held up the pregnancy test box.
“You’re going through my garbage?” I was incensed.
“I was emptying it.” He wasn’t apologetic at all that he invaded my privacy. “You’re pregnant? How? With whom?”
I couldn’t look at him. “You know how. The who doesn’t matter.”
“It does. He has responsibilities.”
I turned to Parker and took his hand. “This is news to me too, Parker and I need a little time to process it and decide how I’m going to manage this.”
“So, he’s not involved?”
“He will be, I’m sure, but this was an accident. Our lives are different.” I had no idea how I was going to tell Mitch or how he’d react. He’d do what needed to be done, but would he be mad? Apologetic? Happy? No, not happy.
“Who is it?” he asked again. I was glad he wasn’t putting two and two together and figuring out it was Mitch. Mitch was right in that Parker probably wouldn’t take it well. Right now it didn’t even occur to him that Mitch could be the father, even though I’d just spent three weeks living in his house.
“It’s just someone I know. Right now, my focus is on getting my business going, so I can take care of my baby,” I said, hoping he’d accept that for now.
He squeezed my hands. “You can stay here for as long as you need, Hope. I’m here for you.”
“Thank you. Can we keep this between us for now?” I didn’t need the news getting to my parents or Mitch yet.
“Yeah, sure.” He stood and pulled me up into a hug. “It’s going to be fine, Hope. I’m going to be the best uncle.”
I smiled, and for the first time since seeing that positive pregnancy test, I felt like I was going to be okay.
Mitch—She Loves Me Not
Mitch
I’d never envied my brothers growing up. We each had our own skills and interests. We’d all been popular in school and done well with the ladies.
In particular, I’d never envied Gabe. I’d always thought he was the spoiled baby who was the ultimate slacker. He was the only one of us that never went to college, and yet he was able to parlay his talent for construction into a successful YouTube channel and eventually a top rated DIY TV show and line of tools. He didn’t have the show anymore, but his YouTube channel and tool line still kept him in the billionaire status.
Today, I was envious of Gabe. As I sat in the nursery of the old Victorian that Gabe had renovated for Sam, rocking Annabelle, I was jealous of the life he’d built. Had things gone differently, Gwen and I would be married and perhaps have children, but we likely wouldn’t be happy. Not like Gabe and Sam. Or Nate and Hallie. Watching them together, I knew that I didn’t have with Gwen what they had with their wives.
It was odd that they kept asking about Hope, or Nate saying he could tell I liked her. I did like her. Hell, I was beginning to think I loved her. I didn’t have that “wham” Nate talked about, but I know that after weeks of her being gone, I still wished she was in my home, taking morning walks with me, and letting me touch her sweet body.
Did I look at her the way they looked at their women? Maybe. But Hope didn’t look at me the way Sam and Hallie looked at my brothers, and therein lay my envy. That and this precious sweet baby in my arms. It was amazing to me how someone so tiny could so completely steal my heart.
“You’re a beautiful baby, did you know that?” I said to her. Her eyes stared up at me as she sucked from the bottle.
This was something I wouldn’t have, and it broke my heart. I had the time and love to give a child, but no one to have one with. For a few days, the possibility of it with Hope existed, but now, weeks later, it was clear she wasn’t pregnant. That probably was my only opportunity, because I certainly wasn’t going to give my heart to another woman again. After Gwen and now Hope, I’d learned my lesson. True love wasn’t in the cards for me.
Maybe I could adopt. Or perhaps foster parent. There had to be plenty of children that could benefit from a stable home. I was single, but I’d heard single parents could be foster parents.
Seeing Hope today had made things worse when I’d hoped it would make things better. I’d hoped that by helping her move, I’d prove to myself that I was getting over her. After all, I was busy, back to the same routine I’d had before she came to stay with me. Sure, she was often in my dreams, and in my head during morning jerkoffs, but I thought I was just idealizing her. I missed her, but at the same time, I was living without her. But the minute she opened the door, I knew I’d been wrong. All I wanted to do was pull her in my arms and hold her. Then I wanted to pack her things and take them to my place, not Parker’s.
She was surprised to see me and clearly not happy about it. She did everything she could to avoid me. When we had a moment alone, she was polite but not overly friendly.
Despite my interest in being a father, the good news was that she wasn’t pregnant. Surely, she’d have told me if not today with Parker there, then some other time. So that was it. Any possible reason for me to see her again was gone. It was time to get over her. Again.
I put the bottle down an
d moved Annabelle to my shoulder and lightly patted.
“Who’s your favorite uncle?” I said. When she burped, I took that to mean that I was her favorite. I put her in her bed, covering her with a blanket my mother made from all our boys' childhood clothes. Then I turned on her music box. “Good night sweetie pie.”
I made sure the baby monitor was on, and then I turned off the lights and shut the door, heading downstairs to the kitchen. I made a sandwich and then went to the library to read. Except for a few snorts and sounds, Annabelle was quiet.
At ten, Gabe and Sam returned home.
“How was she?” Sam asked.
“Perfect, as always,” I responded.
“I’m going to go check on her. Not that I don’t think—”
“I understand, Sam. I’d check on her too.”
“Come have a beer with me,” Gabe said to me as Sam headed upstairs.
“You don’t need to check too?” I teased him.
“Hell yeah, but I’ll do it later.”
I followed him to the kitchen, where he grabbed two beers and then went to the back covered porch, and out to the yard.
“Where are you going?” I asked following him out into the crisp, chilly October night.
“To the treehouse.”
“Will you ever grow up?” Even so, I followed him up.
“Never.”
We’d had a fantastic treehouse as kids, which Gabe replicated only better in his yard. I suspected Annabelle was conceived there but tried not to think about it as I made my way up the ladder.
“Everything alright?” I asked as I sat on the floor.
“You tell me.” He sat across from me, leaning against the wall and stretching his legs out.
“I’m good.” I sipped my beer worried I was going to get a talk like Nate tried to give me.
Gabe studied me over his beer, making me squirm. “Did you know I let Sam walk away from me twice?”
Shit. He was going to talk about relationships. “I knew about when you moved to Florida.”
Her Mountain Hero Page 14
