“You’ll save money by letting me and Mitch do it.”
“It’s okay. I’ve got it all arranged already.” I hoped I sounded calm and not desperate to avoid Mitch.
Parker sat back in his chair, studying me. “Did something happen between you and Mitch again?”
I swallowed hard and looked down at my spaghetti. “What do you mean?”
“When I saw you two up at his place, you seemed to be getting along. Now, it’s like before, where you don’t seem to like him.”
“I like him.” Hell, I loved him. My heart lurched into my throat, and tears threatened again. “I just don’t want to inconvenience him or you.”
“It’s no inconvenience, Hope. Not for me. And I bet not for Mitch either. He can do what he wants when he wants.”
I mustered a smile. “You can help me organize a housewarming party,” I said, hoping it would placate him.
It took him a minute to come around, but finally, he agreed.
That night as I lay in bed, I tried to work how and when I’d tell Mitch about the baby and wondered how he’d take it. One thing was for sure, the longer I waited, the worse it would be. I trusted Parker not to say anything about the baby to Mitch, but if my mother ran into Mitch’s mother, she’d probably gleefully tell her she was going to be a grandmother. If that got to Mitch before I told him, that would be a disaster.
Mitch—Stabbed in the Heart
Mitch
If I kept telling myself that my life was back to pre-Hope normal, eventually I’d believe it, right? It had been several weeks since she left, and yet I still often expected her to be in my bed when I woke in the morning or to join me for a walk.
“She’s like a fucking ghost,” I told Duke one morning after our run. Every day I went through the motions of my life, but she was always there, lingering in the back of my mind. The summer turned into fall, and now with the holidays around the corner, it would be cold soon. Time was marching by, but I was still stuck thinking about when Hope was here.
I wanted to know how her business was going. After she’d hinted at bank loan issues, I’d called her bank since I’d referred her there. I told them I’d back the loan, although I asked them not to tell her. I’m not sure it was legal. But it was funny how much one could get away with when he is rich. If I needed someone to jump or do me a favor, I could get it done. Good thing I wasn’t corrupt.
In the end, I knew she’d have the money to get going, but I didn’t know where she was in in the process. Did she have samples? Was she going to open a shop or just distribute through other stores? Would she follow up with Glynnis? Was she happy? Did she miss me?
No. She didn’t miss me. The last time I saw her, it was clear my being there made her uncomfortable. It both angered and saddened me. It didn’t feel fair that she’d be mad at me. I’d done everything I could to ease her concern about a possible pregnancy after our mishap. And since there clearly was no pregnancy, there was no issue. So why the cool attitude?
The only information I had about her progress was from the occasional call from Parker. He and I were working on getting together to play golf but hadn’t settled on a day yet. He’d said things were moving along. He hinted she could use some tech help, but didn’t come out and ask, and neither did Hope. I remembered I’d offered to do a website for her. Immediately, the idea appealed to me because it would be another thing I could do to help her reach her goal, as well as be another excuse to see her. Apparently, I was a glutton for punishment because the last time I saw her didn’t go so well.
Maybe I wouldn’t see her, but I could get in touch with her. Perhaps it was time to treat her like the woman I wanted to be with. Instead of hiding my feelings, maybe I needed to start showing them. I could start small, with email and texting. I could work my way up to phone calls and video chats. Then I could ask her on a date.
There was Parker to contend with, but if she responded and showed interest, I’d deal with him. The question was, would she show interest? My last encounter with her suggested she wouldn’t, but maybe it was just awkward because Parker was there.
The holidays would be here soon. Maybe I could give her a website as a Christmas gift. I got in touch with Parker to see if he could send me pictures of any of Hope’s clothes she’d designed that I could use as samples.
“What are you getting me for my birthday?” he asked after agreeing to see what he could get. He indicated he’d try to get them this week as Hope was moving into a townhome over the weekend. I’d offered to help, but he said she’s hired out. I wondered if that was so I didn’t come help.
“I’m going to let you win at golf,” I answered his question.
Parker laughed. “How about the weekend after next?”
“I’ll be there.”
I spent the next two weeks working on the website, trying to make it sleek and sophisticated like her, but also easy to use on the front end for the shopper, as well as on the back end for her or whoever she’d end up hiring to run her online store.
Parker emailed a few pictures, and I was so proud of her and how well the clothes were turning out. I wondered if she had stores signed up yet to sell them.
The next weekend, I drove down the mountain and met Parker for golf. I had most of the website done, so I gave him information about it and where I was hosting it to see if he could check it and give me feedback on what he thought Hope would like.
“You’re going to spoil her,” Parker said, as we walked up to the tee on the sixth hole. “Meanwhile, you’re kicking my ass in golf. I thought you were going to let me win.”
I laughed. “It’s not Christmas yet, man.” I stepped up to the tee and put my ball down.
“Well, she needs the help more than I need to win at golf,” he said.
“Oh?” I took my stance and did a practice swing. Then I hit the ball up the fairway. Perfect.
“Yeah, she’s got a lot going on.” Parker stepped up to the tee and put his ball down.
“Everything going okay with her startup?” I asked.
“Yeah, I think so.” He did a practice swing and then hit the ball. It stayed straight enough but fell a few yards short of mine. “But with a baby coming she’s got a lot going on.”
I hoisted my bag over my shoulder and started up the fairway and then stopped short. “What?”
Parker put his club in his bag and put it over his shoulder. He then looked at me. “Ah, fuck. I wasn’t supposed to say anything.”
Everything inside me went cold. She told him not to tell me? It didn’t make sense. If he thought I got her pregnant, he’d be beating me with one of his clubs.
“Listen, you can’t tell anyone. She’s not ready to have people know yet. She hasn’t even told the father yet.”
I felt physically sick but worked to keep my composure. “That doesn’t sound like Hope.” But clearly, I didn’t know her. It didn’t seem possible that someone else was the father, so why didn’t she tell me?
“She says she wants to get settled and her life sorted. Apparently, he’ll step up, but for some reason, she hasn’t wanted to tell him.”
I knew why. She thought I was a slacker. She didn't think I was good enough to be a father. Or maybe she was biding her time and then would come at me for money.
“Don’t tell anyone, okay. Hope would kill me if she knew I’d squealed on her.”
I didn’t say anything as we reached Parker’s ball in the fairway. Instead, I tried to keep my emotions together as we worked our way through the last twelve holes. I shanked many of my shots and missed easy putts as my anger rose during my game.
“I thought you weren’t going to let me win?” Parker said as we loaded our clubs up in each of our cars.
“I was feeling sorry for you,” I said, hoping I sounded lighthearted. Inside, my heart was hard and dark.
“I wish you’d feel that more often,” he laughed.
“Listen, maybe I should show Hope the website now so she can give me some feedback. Is she hom
e? Can you give me her new address?”
“Yeah, sure. I’m sure she’d love it. Just don’t mention anything about the baby.” Parker gave me Hope’s new address.
“Thanks.” As I drove to her new location, my mind was in a whirl. Should I give her a chance to tell me about the baby and not think she’s purposefully hiding it from me? Or should I confront her first thing? She's having my baby, and she didn’t fucking tell me. A powerful wave of emotion swept through me, and I had to pull over. Jesus, I was going to be a father.
I slammed my hand on the steering wheel, pissed at Hope, but even more so at myself. How had I so royally fucked up again? Why couldn’t I pick a woman who was honest and decent, and who valued me beyond my money? Never in a million years would I have guessed that Hope would betray me like this. This time I wouldn’t walk away, at least not from my child.
I put my SUV in gear and finished the drive to her house. I sat in my car a little bit longer, reining in my anger. I wouldn’t hurt her, but I didn’t want to scare her with how pissed off I was either.
I made my up the tidy walk and knocked on the door.
“Mitch?” she said when she opened it. There was surprise and something else in her eyes.
“Hope.”
“Parker said you might stop by. He said you had a surprise for me.”
I nodded, biting the inside of my mouth to keep from letting loose the anger I had right on her front stoop.
She opened the door to let me in. “I don’t have any beer or wine. I have water.”
Right, because pregnant women don’t drink. I let my gaze drift down to her belly. It didn’t look different, but I supposed it was still early.
“Water,” I finally said.
She stared up at me like she was trying to figure me out. No doubt she could note a difference in my demeanor.
“Come into the kitchen.” She led the way through her living room to a kitchen. There were boxes along the wall of each. “I haven’t finished unpacking yet.” She motioned for me to sit at the table, but I had too much pent-up energy to sit, so I leaned against the entry into the kitchen.
“How’s the business?” I asked as she got me a glass of water.
“Good. My loan came through. I’ve got my samples, and I’ve made appointments to meet with buyers and retailers.”
I nodded. “Everything else good?”
She handed me the water, and again, she looked up at me like she was trying to figure me out. “Yes.”
Fuck. I was giving her every opportunity to tell me about the baby, and she wasn’t taking it.
“The baby?”
She gasped and stepped back. “What?”
I continued to lean against the kitchen entryway wall, but I wanted to rage. “The baby. How is the baby?”
“Parker told you?”
I nodded. “He let it slip. The question is, why didn’t you tell me? What the fuck, Hope?”
“Mitch, I’m sorry.”
“What’s wrong with me that I choose women who want to shit all over me, huh? Am I not good enough for you?”
“No Mitch, that’s not it at all. I just—”
“It’s the money, right? Did you plan this all out?”
“What?” Hope jerked back.
“Did you plan to get stuck on the road and end up at my place?”
“No, my car broke down, you know that.”
“But when you realized I was there, you saw your chance, didn’t you? Maybe Mitch can fund my business or save my parents.”
“No.”
“With a baby, he’ll have to pay.”
Her eyes flashed with anger at my insinuation.
“You put the condom on that day. Did you somehow tamper with it? Was it your plan to get pregnant all the long to secure your financial future now that your folks were broke?”
Her hand came hard across my face. “You bastard.”
“Me? Are you kidding me? You’ve fucking ripped my heart out, Hope.”
Her expression morphed from anger to guilt. “Mitch, let me explain.”
“No.” I shoved the glass of water back at her. “I’m done. I came by hoping you’d tell me, but clearly, that wasn’t going to happen.”
“I was going to tell you,”
“When you needed money?” I looked around. “This is a nice place you’ve got.”
“Mitch.”
“I stand by what I said before. I expect to be involved in raising it and will provide for you both. You win.” I scoffed. “I thought Gwen fucked me over, but at least I came out free and clear. You played the game better than her.”
I turned to leave.
“Mitch, it’s not like that.”
I waved my hand telling her I didn’t want to hear it.
“I loved you,” she said as I reached the door.
I looked over my shoulder. “Funny, I loved you too.” I walked down the steps telling myself I wasn’t going to be swayed by desperate attempts. Gwen had told me she loved me, too, when she begged me to give her another chance.
“Mitch, please.” She followed me out the door. “Please let’s talk.”
I shook my head and opened the door to my SUV. “I don’t trust my judgment,” I said to her. “I can’t believe anything you say.” I got into my vehicle and slammed the door.
She came up to the window, tears were streaming down her face, and my heart ached to believe her, to comfort her. But I’d been screwed in the past. I wasn’t going to let it happen again.
I turned on the engine and waited for her to step before I pulled out of my parking spot and drove away. I’d made it about a mile before I had to pull over and get out of the SUV. I was sure I looked like a raving lunatic as I paced along the side of the road, trying to get my emotions under control. I wanted to go back and hash it out with her, but I didn’t want to end up giving in. I didn't want to have her succeed in duping me like others I’d trusted had before.
Finally, I felt calm enough to return home. I’d considered staying at Gabe’s that night since Sunday dinner was the next day, but knew I wouldn’t be good company. So I headed back up the mountain.
Hope—I Messed Up
Hope
My world had just ended. At least that’s what it felt like. Guilt brought me to my knees. Anguish crushed my heart. He had every right to be angry. He felt betrayed, and my words were too little too late. Any chance we might have had to be together was gone.
Why had Parker told him? I wanted to throttle him and yet I knew all the blame was mine. I’d kept the pregnancy from Mitch for too long. Why hadn’t I told him sooner? My reasoning didn’t seem nearly as sensible now as it had at the time.
But even as I felt guilt, I was angry too. Did he really think I was after his money all the long? He accused me of sabotaging a condom to get pregnant as a means to get his money. He couldn’t really believe that, could he? Clearly, he did, otherwise why say it.
While it made sense that he’d be more suspicious about people considering what Gwen and his partner had done, I wasn’t them. I wasn’t the type of person who’d do that and the fact that he thought I was proved that we weren’t compatible. Not telling about our baby right wasn’t the same type of betrayal, was it?
The question now was, what was I going to do? He said he’d take care of the baby and me. My sense was he’d love the child, but any support he gave me would obligatory. Would he sue for custody? He had rights, of course, and I would honor them. But would he punish me by trying to take my child? Mitch didn’t strike me as that sort of man, but he’d been so angry. He had the means and time to raise a child while I was going to be busy working to build a business. Could he convince a judge that his situation was better for a child, especially if he thought I had gotten pregnant on purpose to trap him? Why hadn’t I handled this differently?
Alone in my townhome, I was paralyzed by my emotions. I couldn’t figure out what to do. I needed to ask Parker what happened. Why had he betrayed my confidence, to Mitch of all p
eople? The fact that Parker hadn’t yet shown up at my place equally upset indicated Mitch hadn’t given away that he was my baby’s father to him. Did that mean he still didn’t want Parker to know about us? No. He said he was going to take care of the baby, which meant Parker would find out soon enough. Cripes, would Parker feel betrayed by me too?
What to do? A part of me felt like I should go see Mitch and try to talk to him. Even if he continued to hate me, we did have a baby coming, and we needed to make a plan. But he’d been so angry and hurtful. I didn’t think he’d strike out at me like I did to him, but I wasn’t in a place to hear him accuse me of trapping him for money. I didn’t have the emotional energy to withstand or defend myself from it.
Maybe I should talk to Parker first? He was a great brother, but once he realized Mitch was the father, would he be able to be so objective in his support and advice? What a mess.
Ultimately, I decided to go to bed. I was emotionally wrought, and I determined a good night sleep would give me the rest I’d need to have more clarity about my situation in the morning.
Unfortunately, I was wrong. The next morning, I felt as conflicted and confused as I had the night before. The day was going to be even more stressful since today was Sunday and I was supposed to have dinner at my parents. I wasn’t ready to share what had happened with Mitch, and I was sure I wouldn't be able to hide it. Then again, if I couldn’t tell my parents, who could I tell? I’m not sure they’d feel betrayed by Mitch as Parker might.
That evening I arrived at my parents’ house early so that I could talk to them while Parker wasn’t there.
“Hope, honey. Is everything alright? Is the baby okay?” My mother said when she saw me. Mom had always had a way of knowing when something was wrong with one of her children. Would I have that same superpower when my baby came?
“I need to talk to you.” I felt the tears coming but fought them. I didn’t want to be blubbering.
Her Mountain Hero Page 16
