Rose’s throat burned. “No,” she whispered.
“She’s okay, Ma. She’s just upset.”
Rose put her hands over her ears so she couldn’t hear Ama’s voice. Tears scalded her cheeks.
Iris got off the phone and turned away, pulling the sheet around her.
After a while, Rose could tell Iris was asleep.
Rose rehearsed her moves. Get up, grab the backpack, slip out of the apartment, rush down the hall, run across the parking lot, disappear into the shadows.
She ordered herself to get up and get going, but she lay as stiff and unmoving as a pencil.
Tears started again. She was trying to muffle her sobs when something moved along her side of the mattress and stopped. Rose gasped. Eyes shone in the darkness. Rose’s heart nearly jumped out of her chest.
She made out a silhouette of curls; then a small hand touched Rose’s side, right in the ticklish part of her ribs. Rose tried not to jump.
The hand patted over Rose’s bare arm, across her shoulder. When it touched Rose’s face, Rose smelled peanut butter. The baby crawled onto Rose’s body. It was unbelievably soft as Rose steadied it.
The small head came close, breath tickling Rose’s face.
They stayed nose to nose until the baby made kind of a nest out of Rose, tucking its head under Rose’s chin. Rose’s arms crossed over it.
·· ten ··
LOUD knocking woke Rose into a room bright with sun. Her eyes were swollen slits. She tried to remember where she was. She rolled over and saw a small head with a froth of dark curls.
The knocking was still going on. Rose sat up as Iris scrambled out of bed. As Iris left the room, she glanced back at Rose.
Rose panicked, knowing it was Ama knocking on the apartment door. The window air conditioner sent a river of cold over her as she rushed to wedge a chair under the doorknob. She couldn’t face her grandmother.
Soon, there was a tap on the bedroom door. “Rose? Can I come in? Please?”
Tears seeped out of Rose’s sore eyes at the sound of Ama’s voice. She longed to run into Ama’s arms, but Ama had broken her heart.
“Sweetheart, let me in.”
The door opened a crack before the chair stopped it. Rose froze behind the door, out of sight.
“Oh, Rose. Please. I need to explain.”
The baby on the bed, naked except for a diaper, sat up and began to jabber.
Ama gasped.
As the baby babbled, she waved her hands and arms. Her delicate winglike brows came together in a scowl. Rose couldn’t take her eyes off her.
She felt Ama on the other side of the door staring too. Then Ama said, “Oh no.” She sounded like she’d come across a two-headed calf in the pasture.
Ama went away from the door and she and Iris began to argue about the baby and how Iris lived, their voices rising.
The baby squirmed off the mattress and stumbled across the room, tripping over stuff. She stopped in front of Rose. Sweaty curls matted one cheek.
Rose touched the child’s dimpled hand. The child studied Rose’s finger, pale against her skin, then Rose’s face.
“What’s your name?” Rose said quietly, under the sound of the shouting.
The child looked away as if she were thinking. “Illy,” she decided.
“Lily?” Ama’s favorite flower. Why had Iris named her that? Rose touched her chest. “I’m Rose.”
Lily pressed her face to the crack in the door, then looked at Rose with worry as if to say What’s going on out there?
Rose shook her head. She didn’t want to hear what Ama and Iris were saying to each other, but she couldn’t help it. Gently, she put her hands over Lily’s ears.
Ama was accusing Iris of not taking charge of her life. Of not being responsible! Of barely managing day to day. And now of bringing another child into the world. A child she could no more take care of than the man in the moon. Did Iris expect Ama to raise that child too? Well, she wasn’t going to! Hearing Ama carry on like that broke Rose’s heart all over again. And Iris was yelling that she had tried to tell Ama about Lily, but Ama wouldn’t listen. And, of course, Ama didn’t understand that sometimes you didn’t have perfect control of your life. Things just happened! And Iris was sorry she wasn’t perfect, but neither was Ama.
“All I need, Ma, is a little help and understanding,” Iris said.
“You need way more than a little help and understanding. You need to grow up and take responsibility for your behavior!”
Rose’s head pounded.
Then Ama was outside the bedroom door again. “Rose Elizabeth Lovell, you open that door right now and let me in.”
Rose shrank back. Ama had never talked to her that way.
When Lily cowered beside Rose, Rose’s arm went around her.
“Rose!” Ama’s voice boomed.
Iris was crying. “Please, Ma. You’ll get me kicked out.”
“Rose!” Ama said again, but not as loudly. “Let me in! You’re going home with me right now.” Ama pushed against the door and the chair shifted, but it stayed wedged under the doorknob.
Wide-eyed and with her lip quivering, Lily looked up at Rose.
Even if Rose wanted to see Ama, which she didn’t, she couldn’t leave Lily. When you found an abandoned calf in the pasture, you took care of it. And Rose had found a baby sister.
Ama’s voice dropped to a whisper. “Rose, please, please, please. This is no place for you.”
“Lily’s really scared,” Rose said.
“Lily?”
“The baby. Her name is Lily.”
Rose could hear Ama breathing.
“Can we keep her?” Rose asked. “Just for a while?”
“No, we cannot,” Ama said.
“Then I’m staying.” Rose couldn’t believe she’d said that. Her heart was still broken, but she didn’t want to stay here in this dark, messy place. She wanted to go home.
When Ama started to cry, Rose’s hand went to the chair. She’d heard Ama cry only once before, and she couldn’t bear it. But Lily was looking at her with those dark eyes that said I don’t have a good mama. Please don’t leave me.
After a while, Ama moved away from the door.
Shortly, Iris said, “Ma’s gone. You can let me in.”
Her whole body trembling, Rose moved the chair.
Iris rushed in. “That went well,” she said in a tone that meant just the opposite. “I can’t believe you didn’t go with her.” She gathered up clothes and disappeared into the bathroom. The shower went on.
Rose knelt in front of Lily. “Don’t worry,” she said, “everything will be okay.” She didn’t understand how that could possibly be true, but she needed to sound encouraging.
Lily babbled something, then tugged at the sides of her diaper until it dropped to the floor. She walked around naked, pawing through boxes in the messiest room Rose had ever seen.
Rose found her backpack and dug through it for shorts and a T-shirt. She felt like Lily, rummaging through stuff, and it made her so sad she could hardly move. How could she not be going home with Ama? To Myrtle and fresh air and the wonder of her new room?
She took her clothes into Iris’s bedroom and changed. Lily had wriggled into one of Iris’s sparkly tops. She put her hands on her potbelly and smiled at Rose. The sequined shirt dragged on the floor as she stumbled down the hallway.
Rose followed. As she passed the room where the door had been partly shut last night, she stopped and stared. It was another shamble of boxes and piles. The only furniture was a stained, bare twin-sized mattress on the floor. Rose cringed at the idea of Lily sleeping on that.
In the living room, Lily plopped down in front of the silent TV.
Rose’s stomach rumbled.
The refrigerator was full of diet soft drinks and a fe
w cartons of takeout. Rose peered at the green mold inside one. Inside another was a half-eaten cheeseburger with pickles sticking out from under the bun. Rose loathed pickles. An empty milk carton lay on its side. It had dripped onto the shelf below and left a dried, yellow mess. The refrigerator smelled nasty. Rose shut the door and opened the cupboards.
They were empty.
The cupboards at home overflowed with interesting old stuff left by the Greats, plus Ama and Rose’s bowls and pots and pans and the everyday plates with blue flowers. Rose shoved those things to the back of her mind.
She explored the pile on the table. An empty cereal box. Moldy bread. Three kinds of chips, all open. A magazine. A little powdered-sugar-covered donut sliding around in the box. Scotch tape. Scorched hot pads. Parts for a blender. Orange flip-flops. A sticky saucepan. A black patent leather purse with a chain strap.
Why did Iris live like this? Rose had never seen such a thing.
Lily pushed a chair to the kitchen counter, clambered onto it, and tripped on the sparkly shirt. As she stumbled, Rose caught her.
“You’re standing on your fancy thing,” Rose said. “Lift your feet.”
Lily looked at Rose. She pointed. “Dat.”
Iris rushed into the kitchen and scooped Lily up. She laid her down on the floor and put a diaper on her in a blink, and Lily scrambled back onto the chair.
“Dat,” she said again, pointing harder.
“This?” Rose asked, touching the box of cereal.
Lily scowled. “Dat!” She jabbed her finger.
“What does she want?” Rose asked Iris.
“This?” Iris asked, touching a jar of peanut butter.
Lily beamed and clutched it between both hands after Iris slid it within reach. Lily held the peanut butter out to Rose.
“No, thank you.”
Lily scowled and jabbered something.
“What does she want?” Rose asked.
Iris opened the peanut butter jar and went back to her phone.
Lily looked at Rose as if she were stupid. She dipped her hand in the jar and brought up a wad of peanut butter. She opened and closed her fingers; then she began to lick them.
“Yuck,” Rose said. “Is that okay?” she asked Iris, who was glaring at her phone.
Iris glanced at Lily and shrugged, then returned to her phone. “These people are crazy. They want me at work half an hour ago. One of the other stylists called in sick.”
Iris twisted open a soft drink and looked at Rose. “I can’t believe you didn’t go with Ma, but since you didn’t, do you want a babysitting gig?”
She would be left alone with Lily? She didn’t know anything about babies.
“The girl who was here last night is as dependable as a squirrel. I can’t afford to pay you much, but you’d have food and a place to stay. You could share Lily’s room.” Iris sounded desperate.
Lily was sitting in front of the TV. The way she licked at the peanut butter made Rose think of Myrtle. Rose shoved the thought away.
This was the closest she’d ever been to a real baby. “I know the Heimlich maneuver,” she said.
Iris looked puzzled.
“But not CPR.”
Iris’s phone vibrated. She stared at the screen for a minute. Then she said, “Will you babysit just for now, at least? I gotta get to work. I can’t lose this gig.”
“Okay. I guess.”
In a couple of minutes, Iris flew past, wearing her llama look again with all the eyelashes. She grabbed her car keys from the counter.
“Here’s the door key.” She laid it on the counter. “You’ll need to buy milk. We’re out.” She dug in her purse again. “All I’ve got is a twenty. Don’t waste it.” She put the bill by the key. “See you later.” And she was gone.
Rose stared at the door. That was all?
Maddy had told Rose the proper procedures of babysitting. The parent was supposed to leave a paper with names and telephone numbers. And a time to expect the parent back. And a list of the child’s allergies, if any, along with favorite activities and what snack foods could be eaten. Her mother didn’t know much about parenting.
Lily was watching her. Lily’s face and hands were coated with peanut butter. Rose had an image of an enthusiastic Myrtle leaping on Lily and licking her clean. Tears sprang to Rose’s eyes.
She swallowed. “Maybe we should clean your hands and face, Lily.”
Lily looked at Rose, but without much interest.
“Come to the sink and let me wash you.”
Lily didn’t budge.
Rose moved the kitchen chair so it was in front of the sink. “Will you get on the chair so I can wash your hands under the faucet?”
Lily shook her head.
What should Rose do now? She could help move cows from one pasture to another, but she couldn’t move a baby. She wished Ama were here to show her how. Or Myrtle. Myrtle would love Lily.
She picked up the peanut butter jar and screwed the lid back on. It was sticky all over. She turned on the faucet. “You want to help me wash dishes?”
Lily’s head swiveled.
“Come on.” Rose motioned and Lily trotted to the sink.
She lifted Lily onto the chair and soaped her own and Lily’s hands and they rubbed and rinsed the peanut butter jar until it was clean. Rose tore off a paper towel and gave it to Lily. “Can you dry it?”
Lily bent over her job.
Rose dampened a paper towel. “Let’s clean your face.”
Lily turned her face toward Rose.
Rose had never washed another person. The way Lily’s soft skin moved was weird. Her eyelids were as thin as flower petals. Rose was afraid of rubbing too hard, but the peanut butter left a film. She cupped Lily’s head. Lily was patient while Rose scrubbed.
Finally, Lily’s face was clean and shining.
“Thank you,” Rose said, her heart pounding as if she’d passed a Brave Girl dare.
“Tank ou,” Lily said.
Lily’s face and hands were clean, but she smelled. Maybe Rose should wash her all over.
“Would you like to take a bath?” Rose asked.
Lily waddled into the bathroom, her sequined train flowing behind. She climbed into the tub and stoppered the drain.
Rose stripped the sparkly blouse off Lily and turned on the water. There were bubble bath, shampoo, soap, and a frog on the ledge. As Rose poured in bubble bath, the bathroom began to smell like strawberries.
Lily got into the tub and sat down. She looked a little worried as the water continued to rise. When it got to her shoulders, she babbled something.
“I don’t understand,” Rose said.
Lily grabbed Rose’s wrist and tugged.
“You want me to get in?”
Lily beamed.
There was room. Rose and Maddy used to take baths together before Maddy got all modest.
When they were in the tub facing each other, Lily said, “Ose.”
Rose wished she could understand.
“Ily,” Lily said, patting her own head. She pointed. “Ose.”
“Lily and Rose!” Rose felt suddenly, strangely, warm and happy. She splashed her sister. “Lily!”
“Ose!” Lily cried, splashing back.
* * *
Lily was like a calf or a puppy, only much prettier and softer. Rose covered Lily’s head with a towel and rubbed, trying to be gentle.
“Ose,” Lily said as the towel came away, as if she were delighted to see Rose still there.
Rose put the towel over Lily’s head again, then lifted it away.
“Ose!” Lily said, bouncing.
They went across the hall to Lily’s room.
“Where are your clean clothes?”
Lily looked around and picked up a checked dish towel and held
it out to Rose.
Rose shook her head. “Don’t worry. We’ll find them.”
Rose explored the floor of the small room. Ragged, stained towels, three boxes of Kleenex, a plastic bucket, a box of diapers.
“Let’s put one of these on you,” Rose said, taking out a diaper.
Lily lay down on the floor and was patient as Rose figured out the fastenings, which worked a lot like her baby dolls’ diapers.
Rose helped Lily to her feet.
“Now let’s find your clothes,” Rose said, going back to rummaging through the mess. How could Iris live this way?
Rose found a gold-painted basket with a dead bug caught in a crack, a bottle of pills that could be dangerous to Lily, a Cardinals hoodie, a broken elephant piñata, a pillow shaped like a football, lots of grown-up clothes, and a little red sandal.
“Is this yours?” Rose asked.
Lily beamed and snatched it. “Soos! Illy soos!”
“Where’s the other one?”
Lily toddled into Iris’s room. In the same place where she’d dropped her diaper this morning, she got on her knees and pawed through things. An image of Myrtle enthusiastically digging for a mole flashed in Rose’s mind and blinded her with homesickness.
When Lily found the other sandal, she put it on, pressing the Velcro.
“Wrong foot,” Rose said, kneeling and beginning to take off the sandal.
Lily pushed Rose’s hands away and put on the other sandal.
“That’s not going to be comfortable,” Rose said when Lily stood.
Lily scowled and jabbered.
“Okay, okay. Let’s find the rest of your clothes. Then we’ll go buy milk.”
Rose found kids’ clothes in a box in Iris’s room, but some things looked too big, and some were tight when she tried to put them on Lily. Some smelled sour or had stains. Lily was getting impatient, so when Rose came across a red sundress that tied over the shoulders, even though it was a little large, she dropped it over Lily’s head and said, “There! Pretty!”
Lily tried to look down at herself. “Pitty?”
Rose led her into the bathroom and lifted her up. Lily looked at herself in the mirror over the sink. She looked at Rose.
Surprise Lily Page 9
