Rose shook her head. Great-aunts were supposed to be responsible and dignified. Even hippie great-aunts. “So what happened to the baby?”
“She became a farmer.” Iris gave Rose a long look.
“What?”
“Ma. She’s Harriet Jane’s daughter.”
“No, she’s not. Ama is Harriet Jane’s baby sister. Ama helped me make the family tree for my oral report.”
Iris put down the scissors, shaking her head. “Two things families couldn’t own back in the day. Unwed mothers and mental illness.”
Rose wasn’t listening to what Iris was saying. Why had Ama lied when they made the family tree?
“Ask Ama,” Iris said.
Just then, her phone vibrated and she left the room to talk.
When Lily came to get another snipping, Rose caught her and pulled her onto her lap and hugged her. Sometimes it was awful the way kids were treated by grown-ups. Lily melted into Rose’s arms at first, but not for long. She squirmed and said, “Nake.” She took another snake from the stack and went to the wall.
“Idiots!” Iris said, getting off the phone. “They don’t want me today after all. But I have to be there at eight thirty in the morning.”
“Why would Ama make the family tree wrong?” Rose hated to use the L-word, but she did. “Why would she lie to me?”
“You should probably talk to her about it,” Iris said.
Rose wasn’t talking to Ama right now. But family trees were important, and she didn’t like having it all wrong.
Iris went into the kitchen. Rose heard her open a soft drink. Didn’t she ever eat? Rose and Lily had shared an orange and the sandwiches and eaten several grapes, though Lily spat out the skins. And Rose had used the change from the twenty-dollar bill yesterday to walk to McDonald’s with Lily for more milk.
Lily didn’t suck on her bottle much. She mainly helped Rose wash and dry it, hid it, checked on it, talked to it, cuddled it. Maddy still had a zillion dolls in the back of her closet. Why hadn’t Aunt Carol brought a real baby doll instead of the tiny figures? Lily would love a real baby doll.
“Knock, knock.”
Rose didn’t look up.
“Knock, knock,” Iris said again.
“What?” Rose said. She wished Iris hadn’t told her about Harriet Jane.
“I have an idea. I could cut and style your hair.”
“Why?”
“It’s fun. And you don’t want to wear bangs and a ponytail forever.”
Why wouldn’t she?—though Maddy had been going to Aunt Carol’s stylist.
“I’m really very good at cuts,” Iris said. “When I stay in one place long enough, I develop a following.” Iris’s freckles darkened when she blushed. “Believe it or not.”
But Rose had always had bangs and a ponytail. When her bangs got in her eyes, Ama trimmed them. When her ends got ragged, Ama evened them. Longing washed over Rose.
“Ose,” Lily said. She looked worried.
Rose scrubbed away the tears, hoping Iris hadn’t seen.
A few minutes later, Rose bent over the bathroom sink while Iris shampooed her hair. Iris’s strong fingers relaxed Rose’s scalp so much she felt floaty.
“Okay,” Iris said as she worked. “Tell me five things about yourself.” Her voice sounded like Maddy’s in the dark. Mysterious. Different.
“Why?”
“So I know how to cut and style your hair.”
“What kind of things?”
“Any old thing at all. How tall you are. Your favorite food. Where you want to be in ten years. Who you love most. Your first pet’s name.”
This was silly, yet the feeling of Iris’s fingers on her scalp sort of hypnotized her into going along. “I’m ten years old.” But her own mother knew that. “My first and only pet’s name is Myrtle.” Though Myrtle was way more than a pet. “I’m going to be some kind of artist when I grow up. And I can do anything I set my mind to.” That was only four, but she didn’t know what else to say.
“Umm,” Iris said, rinsing Rose’s hair. “I can work with that.”
Whatever that meant.
Iris toweled Rose’s hair a little, then massaged in something that smelled like roses, then rinsed again. Iris relaxed against her mother’s body. The closeness and fragrance were familiar, as if this had happened before. Rose shivered as her mother wrapped a towel around her head.
She opened her eyes. In the mirror, with the towel making a turban, she looked like Iris. She took off the towel. “I’ve changed my mind.”
“But I’m an excellent stylist,” Iris said.
“Ama says cutting hair dulls scissors. I don’t want my scissors dulled.”
“Obviously, Ma knows everything. If you don’t believe me, just ask her.”
“Why don’t you like her?”
“Because I could never do anything right as far as she was concerned.”
Rose shook out her hair and ran her fingers through her bangs.
Iris watched her in the mirror. “But she thinks you make the sun rise in the morning and set in the evening.”
Rose couldn’t find her voice because Iris’s words hurt so much. Finally, she whispered, “I think the same thing about her.”
“So you need to kiss and make up,” Iris said.
“But how could she give me away to strangers?”
Iris laughed. “Well, she didn’t follow through.”
Rose tried to glare at Iris, but tears flooded her eyes. Iris didn’t know how Ama’s words made her feel.
Iris sat on the edge of the tub. “Ma used to tell me what I didn’t know couldn’t hurt me.”
“She tells me that too.”
“And you didn’t need to know that.” Iris’s face showed sympathy that made Rose feel even worse because she didn’t want to like Iris very much. “Believe me,” Iris said, “I heard way more than I needed to know when I was a kid because of that stupid listening post. Ma and Larry used to say horrible things to each other.”
“Why did you call your dad by his first name?”
“Because he wanted me to. My friends thought it was so cool. They thought he was so cool.” Iris rolled her eyes. “Did you know he was one of Ma’s college professors? Have you ever seen pictures of Ma when she was in college?”
“She was Miss Southern Illinois University 1987.” Ama let Rose and Maddy dress up in her beauty contest sash.
“Yeah. Plus she inherited money from Lotus. I imagine a lot of guys might have been happy to marry her. And she settled on the wrong one. She was probably flattered to get romantic attention from a professor.”
Rose had seen pictures of him. He had dark hair and dark eyes and was about Ama’s height. His expressions seemed to say I know more than you. Rose was glad he was gone. She wouldn’t want somebody looking at her like that every day.
Rose couldn’t shake off the familiar, shivery feeling she’d had when she was leaning against Iris at the sink. “That time you came to visit I was really little—I kind of remember it, and I kind of don’t. What happened?”
Iris leaned against the doorframe. “Well, it wasn’t a carefully planned visit. As in Mom had no idea I was coming. I hadn’t been in touch since I parked you on her doorstep. But one night I was out with friends and got really happy and decided I should come and see you. I jumped in the car and drove from Kentucky. I felt like I was flying through the night. I was lucky I didn’t get pulled over.” Iris’s face flushed. “I remember the sun coming up just east of town, and I took it as a sign my visit was meant to be.” Her freckles grew darker. “It was stupid, but it seemed like a good idea at the time.”
The part of the visit Rose remembered was waking up and going into the kitchen to see the new puppy and sit on Ama’s lap, like she always did first thing in the morning. But Ama hadn’t been in the kitchen.
“When I got there,” Iris said, “I just walked in. The house was quiet, so I sat down at the kitchen table. And in a few minutes, you came toddling in. You were so adorable. You were surprised I wasn’t Ma, but I managed to coax you to sit on my lap. Your hair was all tangled up, and I was combing it with my fingers when Ma came in with a puppy and started screaming at me.”
The cloud lifted from the memory. Rose had sat on the pretty lady’s lap. The pretty lady had been gentle and she smelled good. And Rose liked to have her hair petted.
That was why Ama screamed. Because Rose shouldn’t have been on the pretty lady’s lap. It was like the electric fence or getting too close to the cows. Dangerous.
Rose felt a little dizzy. Iris was still talking but Rose was swamped with her own thoughts. When had she figured out the pretty lady was her mother?
“I think Ma was afraid I’d come to take you, and by then you were the most important thing in the world to her. I’d really just come to say hello. But right after that, she started the adoption process.”
Iris stood staring into space. “Let’s face it. Ma and I never got along great. And after that blowup when she saw you on my lap, I decided the best thing for me to do was just disappear from your lives. So I did.”
She suddenly looked as tired as Rose felt.
Iris said, “Grandma Clara had this silly riddle. You want to hear?”
Rose nodded.
“Pete and Repeat were sitting on a fence. Pete fell off and who was left?”
“Repeat,” Rose answered.
“Pete and Repeat were sitting on a fence. Pete fell off and who was left?”
Rose groaned. “That’s lame.”
“But it was kind of like she was predicting my life.”
That was sad.
Rose realized she’d forgotten about Lily for a few minutes. And Lily was being awfully quiet. “I need to check on Lily,” she said, brushing past Iris.
“But Grandma Clara also said we never know how life is going to turn out,” Iris added.
In their bedroom, Lily was asleep on the mattress, cradling the mouse book.
“I’m going to take a shower,” Iris announced, starting to close the bathroom door.
“Wait,” Rose said. “Did you know the surprise lily is Ama’s favorite flower?”
Iris nodded.
“Is that why you named Lily Lily?”
Iris nodded again.
“Why did you name me Rose?”
“I needed a flower name, and I love roses. By the time Lily came along, I wasn’t so mad at Ma anymore. I thought it might be nice.”
Iris shut the door then and the shower went on.
Rose stretched out beside Lily and stared at the ceiling. She should have suspected there was something wrong with the family tree. Tulip, Iris, and Rose belonged under Lotus. She’d learned a lot from her mother today.
Maybe Iris wasn’t as bad as Rose thought. But she didn’t take good care of Lily, so Rose really was going to have to do that. But Iris could help. She could buy sheets for Lily and Rose’s bed. And she could take Rose to the library to get a library card. She could buy real food. And Lily needed nicer clothes. Rose could tell her mother what she needed to do.
·· twelve ··
ROSE had been dreaming about Myrtle leaping onto her bed. But Rose wasn’t in her bed. She was on a floor and the light was dim. Was it morning or evening? Her lips felt stuck together, and she was very hot. And it wasn’t Myrtle beside her. It was her sister. Lily’s mouth was open a little and she drooled.
Rose felt weird—as if she were in some foggy dreamlike place between the farm and here with her sister. A man, his voice hard, was talking. Rose sat up, licking her lips, trying to get completely awake.
The man was asking Iris about when she’d lived in Kentucky. When Iris answered, her voice was so low Rose couldn’t make out the words, but Iris sounded upset, like maybe she was crying.
Should Rose go out and see what was wrong?
When the man mentioned innocent children, Iris cried, “I know, I know!”—her voice rising through her tears.
Did this have something to do with Lily? Rose’s hand went to Lily, feeling the rise and fall of her breath.
Then the man said he was taking Iris into custody for some kind of theft.
His words took Rose’s breath away. Had Iris stolen Lily?
“I’ll take you to a federal holding facility,” the man was saying. “You’ll be locked up there until you can appear before a judge for arraignment.”
Rose felt as if she’d been spun around too fast. She didn’t understand the big words, but Iris was going to jail and it had something to do with Lily.
When Iris passed their door on her way down the hall, she glanced at Rose out of the corner of her eye and brushed her lips in a be quiet motion without turning her head.
Rose heard her grabbing some things in the bedroom; then Iris went into the bathroom. She turned so she and Rose were facing each other across the hall. Iris’s face was terrified as she put her finger to her lips again. Her hand trembled. She mouthed, Call Ma.
Then she returned to the living room. “I’m ready now,” she said, sounding as if the world had ended.
The door opened and closed, and they were gone.
Everything had happened so fast. Rose’s heart was pounding as if she were chasing Iris down the hall. Yet she felt glued to the bed.
If Lily was stolen, that meant she wasn’t Rose’s sister. If she was stolen, might Rose go to jail if she didn’t give Lily back? Would the man hurt Iris? Would Iris be safe in jail?
Eventually, thirst drove Rose to move. She felt like she could drink a swimming pool. She found a plastic cup in the kitchen and filled it from the tap and drank, refilling it three times.
Iris had said to call Ama, but Rose didn’t have a phone. And even if she did, Ama wouldn’t have anything to do with Lily. And if Lily was stolen, they might have to give her back anyway, and Rose couldn’t possibly do that because Lily needed her. Rose had found her and was keeping her.
The sun was setting behind the buildings across the parking lot. As the apartment grew dimmer, Rose felt more scared.
She drifted back to their room, a knot in her throat. She sat on the floor and leaned against the wall, hugging her knees and staring at Lily. Why would Iris, who hadn’t wanted her own child, steal someone else’s? Did Lily have a family worrying about her?
Rose scooted closer to the mattress and studied Lily. The light was dim, but even outside in the sunshine, there was nothing about Lily that looked like Rose. Ama said the Lovells all had skin as pale as buttermilk. Lily’s skin looked like coffee had been poured into the buttermilk. The Lovells had blond hair and blue eyes. Lily had dark hair and brown eyes. Yet even that first night in the apartment, when Rose didn’t know if Lily was a boy or a girl, she’d had the feeling of two people who belonged together coming together. Lily and Rose.
Rose heard a tapping at the door and recognized Aunt Carol’s voice. She didn’t know if she was glad to see her or not. She felt like she didn’t know anything but was responsible for everything.
When Rose opened the door, Aunt Carol carried in a grocery sack. “I just stopped by to say hello,” she said. “Why aren’t there any lights on? Where is everybody?”
“Shhhhh,” Rose whispered. “Iris and Lily are napping.” If Aunt Carol knew Iris was in jail, she’d take charge and Lily and Rose would be separated.
Aunt Carol spoke more quietly. “Is everything okay, Rose?”
“Just fine,” Rose said, making herself sound excited. “Iris needed a quick nap after work. We’re going out to eat when they wake up.”
“That sounds nice,” Aunt Carol said.
Aunt Carol put the grocery bag on the kitchen counter. “I brought a few things for your dinner. In ca
se you didn’t have other plans,” she added cheerfully.
“Thank you.”
Aunt Carol put both hands on Rose’s shoulders. “Rose, we’re leaving for England tomorrow, so I won’t be looking in on you again. Tulip is coming to get you bright and early in the morning. She’s going to call Iris this evening to tell her.”
Aunt Carol watched Rose, waiting for her to say something, but Rose’s thoughts were flying in a million directions. She had to take Lily and run. Tonight.
Aunt Carol kept looking at her.
Rose nodded and said, “Babysitting is hard work.”
Aunt Carol patted Rose’s shoulder. “I knew you’d come around. By the time we get home next month this will all be forgotten. You’ll be Maddy’s sweet little country cousin again and everything will be back to normal.”
“Yes,” Rose said. “I hope you have a nice time in England.” She wanted Aunt Carol to hurry up and leave.
Aunt Carol gave her a hug. “When Iris gets up, tell her I said hello.”
“Okay.”
After Aunt Carol left, Rose slumped against the door, but only for a few seconds.
Then she turned on the kitchen light and looked in the grocery sack. Aunt Carol had brought bread, a plastic container with thick slices of smoked ham, and a container of her homemade baked beans.
When Lily woke up, they would eat and then pack the leftovers. Plus, they should pack the peanut butter. And the chicken nuggets. And the two little cartons of milk that were left. And the bags of stale chips.
They’d need to pack Lily’s bottle too. And they mustn’t forget her diapers. Lily’s books and toys. Her clothes.
Rose rushed into Iris’s room and flipped on the light. She was pawing through the pile where she’d found the little red sundress yesterday when Lily bumped her. She was red-faced and scowling like the most miserable baby on the planet. She shoved Rose.
“Hey! Why are you pushing me?”
Lily scowled worse and pushed her again. This time Rose ended up sitting on the side of the mattress. When Lily scrambled into her lap as if a bad dream were chasing her, Rose’s arms went around Lily and she hugged her. Lily snuggled closer.
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