Today was the grand opening of her dad’s bakery, and I knew she would be there. This was my Hail Mary pass. If she saw me in person, she wouldn’t be able to ignore me. I walked into the bakery, but she didn’t turn around when the bell smacked against the door. She was in the middle of talking to Mallory. Mallory’s eyes grew wide when she saw me.
“No sense keeping them,” Charlotte was saying. “I don’t want to be involved with somebody who has that much anger inside. If he can’t have self-control with a drunken idiot at a bar, what’s stopping him from turning his rage on me?”
“Is that why you’re ignoring me?”
She spun around, her mouth half open.
I stepped forward. “You think I would hurt you?”
She ignored my question and pointed to the door. “Leave.”
“Please, let me apologize.” I was close to begging.
“I don’t want your apology. There’s no apologizing for the way you behaved. That kind of violence is unacceptable.” She folded her arms across her chest. “Maybe you should be giving your apology to Shawn instead.”
I couldn’t stop my face as it twisted in disgust. “That asshole put his hands on you. I did what any other guy would do in that situation.”
“He’s got a point,” Mallory said. “If a guy slapped my ass, I would expect my man to put him in his place.”
She’s on my side. Maybe there was hope for me after all.
“Tanner is not my man, and he almost choked the life out of Shawn.” Charlotte’s eyes stared straight into mine. “You were out of control. It scared me.”
Her words cut me like a knife. I scared her. She was afraid of me. “Charlotte, I am sorry that I scared you. You’re right. I was out of control. I need to get a handle on it.” I walked toward her and pressed my palms onto the counter. “But I need you to understand that I would never hurt you.”
She wavered for a second, the softening of her face revealing that maybe this wasn’t entirely what she wanted. For that second, I had hope. Then, she looked down at her cast. What did her broken wrist have to do with anything? Was she looking at Gabe’s phone number? Did she like Gabe?
“Please leave.”
My shoulders slumped and I hung my head as I turned and walked out the door. That was it. I’d proven to Charlotte that I was the piece of shit I’d always known I was. She didn’t deserve this.
I drove away from the bakery in a fury. The more I thought about what happened that night at the bar, the angrier I grew. Shawn was the one at fault. He was the one who put his hands on her. He deserved to have his ass handed to him. Instead, I was the one who was being punished. Story of my fucking life.
By the time I got home, I’d worked myself up so much that I was sure steam was shooting out of my ears. As I stalked up the driveway, the front door opened and Chase trotted down the stairs.
“What’s your problem?” he asked with his disapproving look that I so badly wanted to wipe off his face.
Words would not form. My hands balled into fists at my sides as I approached him.
“You need to chill out.”
“You need to shut your fucking mouth,” I gritted through my teeth.
“You can’t go in there like this. Dad’s asleep on the recliner, and Khloe’s still awake. Whatever’s bothering you, you need to—”
I shoved him as hard as I could. He caught himself as he stumbled backwards. Chase was slightly bigger than me, but that didn’t mean I couldn’t still beat his ass—and he knew it.
“You need to calm the fuck down!” he shouted as he shoved me back.
That was all I needed. I slammed into his midsection, tackling him onto the grass. I mounted him and hurled my fist at his face, but he dodged out of the way. He tossed me off and tried scrambling to his feet, but I was quicker. I pushed him back onto the ground and held him down. This time, I won’t miss.
“You self-righteous motherfucker!” I was about to land my punch on his jaw when I heard my mother’s voice from the top of the stairs.
“Tanner!”
My fist hovered over my brother’s face as I glared down at him. All I wanted was one good shot.
“Tanner, don’t you dare!”
God-dammit. I slammed my fist into the grass beside Chase’s head, and I heard my mother suck in a breath.
I stood and left my brother on the ground.
“I don’t know what has gotten into you,” Mom said, her voice low. “But you’d better get control of yourself.”
I didn’t respond and I got back in my car.
Mom and Chase watched me pull out of the driveway, both wearing the same worried expression on their identical faces.
I was losing my father, and now I’d lost the girl I was starting to care for. Everything was so fucked up. Everyone kept telling me to get control of myself, but that was just the thing—I had no control over anything. No matter how hard I tried, nothing went my way.
The only place left to go was Big Nose Kate’s. When I took my usual seat at the bar, the bartender handed me a shot of whiskey and a bottle of beer. I downed the shot, asked for another, and downed that one, too.
“Rough night?”
I looked to my right to see who was stupid enough to try talking to me. A man I’d never seen before was sitting two stools over. He wore a backwards baseball cap, and he was covered in tattoos—knuckles, neck, everywhere but his face. He looked like a badass.
“You could say that.”
“Looks like it.” He nodded toward my swollen hand. “I just hope the other guy’s still alive.”
I laughed once. “Mom made sure of it.”
“Ah. Brotherly love.”
I signaled for another shot, and the bartender slid it over. Her eyes volleyed between us like she wasn’t sure which one she was interested in. All I wanted from her was alcohol. This dude could have her. She was wearing entirely too much makeup; her eyelashes looked like furry tarantula legs, and her face was three shades darker than her neck. I hate these fake fucking Staten Island girls. They weren’t like Charlotte. She was different.
The whiskey burned my throat, and I hoped it would burn my heart right out of my chest.
“I always wanted a brother when I was little.”
Why was this guy still talking? “You can have mine.”
“Yeah, well … that wishing stopped when my mom died.” He looked down at his full, untouched shot glass. “I was thankful I didn’t have a sibling to go through what I went through.”
Shit. I wasn’t expecting that. I nodded in agreement, thinking about what my family was about to endure.
“Life’s not fair to anyone. Gotta keep fighting though.”
I downed my third shot. “Not in the mood for a motivational speech, man.”
“No one ever really is. The ones who refuse it are always the people who need it the most.”
I raised an eyebrow as he stood. “You always come to a bar to pay for alcohol that you didn’t drink?”
The man winked at the bartender as he placed a twenty on the bar. “I don’t drink anymore.” He extended his hand. “My name is TJ. What’s your name?”
I shook his hand, getting a better look at the tattoos on his arm. “Tanner.”
“Tanner, you should come check out my gym sometime.” He pointed at the logo on his T-shirt. “I think it would be good for you.”
“No, thanks.”
“Suit yourself. But whatever you’re looking for at the bottom of that glass, I can assure you that you won’t find it. You need to get up and fight for what you want.”
I chugged the rest of my beer as TJ walked away. What I want? What I wanted was for my father not to be dying, but there was no way I could stop that from happening. I wanted Charlotte to forgive me, but she wouldn’t, despite my efforts. I wanted to feel something good for a change, but that never seemed to happen.
So, I’d sit here and drink until I felt nothing at all.
Charlotte
“Hi, Charlot
te,” Gabe answered his phone cheerfully. “What are you up to?”
“I’m finishing at the bakery in a little while.”
“Can I see you when you’re done?”
“Sure. What do you want to do?”
“Why don’t I take you to dinner? I’d like to take you to an actual restaurant this time.”
“We close at six- thirty, and then I have to run home and shower.”
“How’s seven- thirty?”
“Sounds good to me.”
“See you then.”
Mallory shook her head as she walked around the counter.
“What are you shaking your head at me for?”
“Why force yourself to go out with Gabe when you have feelings for Tanner?”
“I don’t have feelings for Tanner.”
“Yes, you do. I saw it when you were dancing with him the other night.”
“Tanner is not good for me. You said it yourself—he’s a bad boy. I don’t need someone like that in my life … and I am not forcing myself to go out with Gabe. Gabe is nice.”
“Just because he’s nice doesn’t mean you have to date him, Char.”
“I’m not dating him. We’re just hanging out.” I vigorously cleaned the countertops, wishing I could scrub everything out of my mind just as easily.
She walked closer and pointed at me. “If you kiss him tonight, and you don’t feel sparks fly, you’ll have your answer.”
“Sparks don’t actually fly in real life. You know that, right? That’s not a thing.”
“It’s your first kiss with him! There absolutely should be fireworks and explosions going off in the background!”
I shook my head. “First kisses are awkward. You have to get past all of that to get to the good stuff.”
“I do not agree,” she said. “First kisses are the best, and if it’s not, then it’s the kiss of death.”
I was not about to broadcast it to Mallory, but I had only kissed one boy. Kyle Tomlin. We dated senior year of high school. He was a football star and I was a cheerleader. I thought we were a match made in heaven; I thought we were in love. That’s why I gave him my virginity. Then, he let Angela Coolidge give him hers in the bathroom on prom night, and that was the end of that. That was one memory I was happy to leave in Florida.
“Have you never experienced a magical kiss like that?” she asked.
“Guess not.”
“Well, take it from me.” She wrapped her arm around my shoulders. “Life is too short to have mediocre make-out sessions.”
I smirked. “You should get that printed onto a shirt.”
* * *
“You look beautiful.” Gabe’s eyes sparkled in the candlelight coming from our table.
“Thanks. You look great, too.” He did. He was wearing a crisp white polo with dark jeans. His nose and cheeks were slightly red from his softball game this past weekend, giving his face a sun-kissed glow.
“How’s work? Opening week must’ve been busy.”
“It was insanely busy. I’ve had to put my feet up at the end of every shift.”
“Busy is good though.”
“It is.”
“Do you plan to take over the shop when you’re older?”
I shook my head. “I want to open my own business.”
“Is that what you’re going to school for?”
“Yup. Business major. What about you?”
“I’m a computer nerd. I want to design video games.”
“That sounds like fun.”
“Do you play any video games?”
“I used to love Super Mario when I was a kid.”
“That’s a classic. My brother and I dressed as Mario and Luigi last Halloween.”
“I’ve seen those costumes.”
“Do you have any plans for this Halloween?”
I noted his segue. “I hadn’t thought about it yet. Mallory will have something planned for us, I’m sure.”
“There’s usually a big party at my brother’s frat house. Everyone starts planning their costumes around this time to prepare.” He laughed. “They take it pretty seriously.”
“It’ll be here before we know it. Summer’s already over.”
“In that case, I’d better lock you down as my date to the party.”
I shoved a piece of bread into my mouth to buy more time.
“Like you said, it will be here before we know it.”
The waiter arrived with our food, allowing me to stall some more.
Gabe’s eyes remained fixed on me as the waiter set our plates down in front of us.
“Thank you.”
“You’re welcome. Anything else I can get you right now?”
“No, thanks. We’re good,” Gabe said. He waited for the waiter to leave. “So? What do you say? Come to the Halloween party with me.”
“I’ll talk to Mallory and see what she wants to do.”
“Well, that wasn’t a no. I guess I’ll take it.”
The corners of my mouth pulled down. “I’m sorry. I just … Mallory is my only friend here, and I don’t want her to feel left out.”
“I understand. Maybe we can find her a date.”
I nodded, biting into my spaghetti before I said anything Mallory would kill me for. I didn’t get the impression that she was fond of Gabe’s immature friends. Would Derek be there? I know she’d enjoyed her night with him at Big Nose Kate’s. Tanner would probably be there, too.
The memory of us dancing suddenly replayed in my mind. The warmth of his muscular body pressed against mine. The touch of his hands on my waist setting fire to my skin. The heat emanating from his eyes as he scorched me.
The butterflies that had been asleep throughout this whole dinner with Gabe were now wide awake.
“How was it at Big Nose Kate’s the other night?” Gabe asked, as if he’d read my mind.
I gulped my water. “It was cool. I heard Chase and his band play.”
“Yeah, Chase is great. I heard his brother got into it with Shawn at the end of the night. Did you see that?”
My stomach twisted, sending the butterflies back to their hiding spot. “Yeah, he did.”
“I’ve never had any problems with Tanner, but he goes from zero to sixty, you know? The guy can be a real psycho.”
“I wouldn’t call him a psycho. Maybe he’s got a lot going on that we don’t know about.”
“That’s very good-hearted of you, but I highly doubt there’s anything going on. The family is perfect—looks, brains, money—Tanner’s just an arrogant jerk.”
I instantly wanted to defend Tanner though I didn’t know why I felt compelled to do so. It didn’t feel good to hear Gabe talking about him—about anyone—like that, without knowing the truth. Gabe didn’t know about Tanner’s father, and it saddened me to hear how harshly people judged him when his family was going through such a difficult time.
Was I one of those people?
The image of Tanner’s crestfallen face leaving the bakery today plagued my mind. Who was going to help him through everything that was about to happen? More importantly, why did I care?
“Did I say something to upset you?”
I offered Gabe a reassuring smile. “No. I’m just getting full.”
“Me, too.” He patted his stomach. “Do you have any room for dessert?”
I shook my head. I just wanted to go home.
Gabe paid the bill, refusing again to let me chip in. Then, we climbed into his Jeep.
“I don’t want our night to end. Do you want to come back to my house?” he asked. “My parents will be home, but we can go in the basement and watch a movie or something.”
“I’m actually super tired from work today, and I have class early tomorrow morning.”
“Okay. No problem.”
A silence fell over us as he drove back to my apartment, and I was fine with that. I stared out the window until we pulled into the parking lot of my complex.
Gabe put the car in park and turned to
face me in his seat. “You get your cast off this week, don’t you?”
“On Tuesday.”
“I bet you’re excited to be free of that thing.”
“You have no idea.”
He leaned in, brushing his thumb across my cheek. “I’ve been thinking about you since that night at the lake.”
“You have?”
“I have.” His eyes fell to my lips.
I had a choice to make, and I had to make it fast. I could let him kiss me, and fool him into thinking I felt the same way he did. Maybe I would enjoy it. Maybe it would get Tanner off my mind. But I couldn’t do that to Gabe.
I pressed my hand gently against his chest. “Gabe …”
He stopped advancing and nodded as if he understood. “Am I moving too quickly for you, or are you just not interested?”
I paused before answering, unsure of what exactly I wanted to say. “I think you’re cute and sweet, and I like hanging out with you.”
“That’s good.” He wore a hopeful smile.
“But I’d like to be your friend.” I looked down at my lap. “I don’t have very many of those around here.”
Gabe lifted my chin with his finger. “You’ve got me, Charlotte. I hear you, and I won’t try to kiss you again. That is, not unless you decide you want me to.”
A small smile touched my lips, knowing in my heart that I never would.
Six
Tanner
The bell sounded as I walked into the bakery. Every morning this week, I’d come for coffee and a doughnut. I hadn’t tried to call or text. I didn’t even talk to her when I paid for my breakfast. I’d ask for what I wanted, she’d hand me my change, and then I’d leave. I was a masochist, torturing myself by seeing the girl I liked so much, even though I knew I couldn’t have her. The worst part was that my heart skipped a beat at the mere sight of her, yet she couldn’t bring herself to look at me.
As I walked to the counter, I noticed Charlotte’s arm was cast-free. Don’t ask how she is. Just get your shit and get out.
Mallory watched me with a knowing smirk. Maybe she would talk Charlotte into forgiving me. I needed all the help I could get.
The Other Brother (The Collision Series) Page 6
