by Jordan Ford
Dad shrugs. “Maybe. I mean, it is vandalism, albeit petty, but it’s still a crime.”
My face bunches with annoyance as I glance at the wilting roses on my car roof. This is such a pain in the ass. Talking to the police about Harley’s surfboard seemed like a waste of time. The officer gave her a sympathetic smile and told her he’d keep an eye out for it, but there wasn’t too much else he could do.
Dad’s hand lands on my shoulder. “Hey, why don’t you get these flowers to Harley before they die in the sun? I’ll deal with this.”
“Are you sure?”
“Yeah, of course.” He hands me his keys and then walks to my car to get the surfboard.
“But, Dad, don’t you have to get back to work?”
“I’ll call an Uber from the garage, and then you can come and pick me up at the end of the day.”
“Okay.” I give him a grateful smile. “Thank you so much.”
His smile is kind. “I know how much she means to you. Whenever your mom’s sad, it kills me. I try to do everything in my power to make her feel better. It doesn’t always work, but I think she appreciates the effort.”
Gripping the surfboard, I lift the flowers at him. “Well, I sure hope this works.”
“Even if it doesn’t, she’ll still know how much you care about her. That has to count for something.” Dad winks and I turn away with a soft chuckle.
I’m a lucky guy.
My parents are freaking awesome. Ever since opening up to them about all that pressure I was under, our relationships have only gotten stronger. I’ve stopped making assumptions about what they’re thinking, and we’ve actually been having adult conversations with each other. They’re starting to treat me like a man, and it feels freaking fantastic.
Dad comes around to help me push the back seats of his car down and slide the board in.
“Good luck, son.”
I raise my eyebrows with a smile and jump behind the wheel.
Carefully reversing out of the little parking lot, I wave goodbye and head to Harley’s house. I’m still pretty pissed about my car. I should probably contribute some money toward replacing the tires. Insurance should cover most of the damage, but there’s still the excess. I’m trying to save for the summer. There’s a bunch of stuff I want to do with Harley, and having to pay for stupid tires is damn annoying.
I’m still confused by it, and I have to actually tell my brain to shut up before I reach Harley’s place. I’m here to make her feel better, not bitch and moan about my car.
Glancing at the roses on the passenger seat, I let out a nervous little laugh, hoping she likes them. Hoping she’ll see how much I care about her.
Parking next to the carport, I notice her mom is out and am grateful for it. I’ve met the woman a few times, and I find her a little weird. Poor Harley, having to live with her. I don’t know how she does it. I wish she could move into my place. My parents adore Harley, and she gets along great with them.
Shouldering the door open, I pull out the surfboard and then gently pick up the roses. Nerves skitter through me as I lope to the front door and knock with the tip of the board.
I’m feeling pretty damn awesome about my big gesture until Harley pulls the door wide, her lips parting slightly as she spots the flowers and then the board.
She still hasn’t said anything, and my heart deflates like a popped balloon when her eyebrows wrinkle into a frown.
12
HARLEY
“HEY.” Aidan’s smile is tight, his bright tone forced.
It was all genuine until he read my reaction and then just kind of deflated in front of me.
Dammit. I am such a freaking cow!
I swallow and try to grin at him. He’s standing there with a bunch of flowers and a brand-new surfboard. I should be jumping up and down and calling him the best boyfriend in the world.
But I can’t seem to find my happy right now.
A new surfboard?
I don’t want a new one.
I want my victory board, and he just doesn’t get it.
Because you refuse to tell him!
My inner voice is savage and harsh, but I ignore it, swallowing and stepping back so Aidan can walk into the house.
It’s kind of messy right now. I’ve been so unmotivated that dirty dishes and empty soda cans are piled up on the coffee table. Blobbing in front of endless TV is so not good for me, but I haven’t been able to do much else.
I can tell Aidan’s unimpressed. His house is always pristine. But he doesn’t say anything as he leans my board against the fridge, then turns and hands me the roses.
I look at them. They’re so beautiful.
No one’s ever bought me roses before. I should be swooning. Instead all I manage is a little smile and a whispered “Thanks.”
“I just wanted to do something to make you feel better.” He runs a hand through his hair. He’s been growing it out, and the ends no longer stick up when he scrapes his fingers through them. Instead they flop back down around his eyes. He has zero idea how incredibly sexy it is.
I never know whether to adore it or be thrown by it. If anything can bend my will on the whole sex thing, it’ll be Aidan’s hair and those eyes that drink me in like I’m beautiful.
Although not today.
Today his eyes look kind of uncertain.
His eyebrows flicker as he gazes down at me, his lips forming a thin line before punching into a smile, like he’s told his brain to look happy.
“So, I, uh… It took me like hours, but I finally found a board that I thought you might like.”
He picks it up and shows me the yellow and white design. It is a pretty awesome board. I’ve never had a brand-new one before. I kind of want to run my hands around it, pull it against my chest and feel the weight of it.
But another part of me doesn’t even want to touch it.
I don’t understand why I’m feeling so raw and fragile right now.
Maybe it’s because I have to tell him.
I have to explain about the other board.
I have to explain about “that guy.”
“Um…” I swallow. Do I do it now?
I can’t!
Fear clutches my vocal cords, making it impossible to speak.
So instead I walk into the kitchen and start hunting out a vase for the flowers.
We don’t have any.
No one buys the Quinn ladies flowers.
Well, not usually anyway.
I press the petals to my nose and fight the urge to cry. They’re so beautiful and I love them. Aidan is the sweetest guy in the world.
I glance over my shoulder, forcing a small smile. “Thank you,” I mouth, and he nods at me before leaning the surfboard back against the fridge with a sad sigh.
“You don’t like the board, do you?”
I lay the flowers down and rest my back against the counter. “It’s not that.” I shake my head. “The board is amazing, and the flowers are…” I smile at him and actually manage to say, “Thank you.”
“So, what is it, then?” He makes a move toward me and I flinch, stepping away from him without even meaning to.
The move wounds him. I can tell by the shocked, sad expression on his face. By the way he jolts to a stop and then crosses his arms.
I want to tell him I’m sorry. That I can explain.
But I’m useless and I can’t!
Just say it, Harley. Say it!
I was raped and it’s screwed me up more than I’d like to admit.
I open my mouth, trying to force the words out of me, but nothing comes. I press my lips together and look to the dirty kitchen floor.
“Um…” Aidan closes his eyes, shaking his head like he’s trying to figure out how he ended up in an alternate universe where his feisty girlfriend is turning into a puddle of useless right there in front of him. “I should probably go.”
I want to tell him not to, but that’s dumb. The longer he stays here, the longer the torture c
ontinues.
Gripping the bench behind me, I lick my lips and murmur, “Thanks.”
He stops at the door and lets out an irritated huff, turning to face me. I look up in time to see his anger flicker with a look of heartache. Gripping the doorframe, he taps his finger on the wood and softly asks, “Do you not want me anymore? Is that it? Are you over us?”
I give him a horrified look, slayed by the fact that he would even think that.
Say something, Harley. Shout, “NO! I LOVE YOU!”
Slapping the wood, Aidan shoves the door open, his voice terse and annoyed. “If you’re gonna do it, don’t drag it out, okay? Just break up with me and get it over with.”
The door slams behind him as he storms out to the car. I turn my back on the window, not wanting to see him scream away from me.
A whimper spurts between my lips, and I slap my hand over the sound.
I don’t want to cry. I don’t want to fall apart.
I need to be strong.
“You’re not strong,” I grit out. “You’re nothing but a coward.”
A coward who is going to lose the best thing that’s ever happened to her.
13
GRIFFIN
SAVANNAH IS the best thing that’s ever happened to me.
And as I watch her pacing the sand in front of the Ryder Rentals shed, kicking her toes through the grains, I can’t help adoring her and hurting for her at the same time.
Ever since catching her dad having sex with a younger woman, she’s been a complete stress bucket. It’s only been two days, but she’s managed to stir herself into an investigative frenzy, googling this Lara chick and even going up to the hospital and asking around.
Jed’s grandmother helped her out a little. According to her, Lara is nothing but a sweetheart. A little shy and soft-spoken, but a very caring nurse.
I think Savannah was secretly hoping the woman had some kind of bitch status so she could persuade her father out of the relationship. But she’s coming up empty-handed.
Poor thing.
Knowing Savannah, she’ll come around soon enough. Deep down, I know she wants her dad to be happy. She’s just been taken by surprise and she needs to process. I wonder if she’s feeling bad about leaving her younger siblings with this new woman around.
Her dad’s assuming she’ll move into the dorms at whichever college she picks, but I don’t know if she wants to do that. In fact, I don’t know which college she’s leaning toward. We haven’t spoken about it in a couple of weeks. With my rejection letters piling up, it’s not like I want to bring up the subject.
I should, though.
I really should.
Tidying up the surfboards, I check the shed. I’ll be locking up soon and taking the money up to the main office. I wonder if Savvy wants to have dinner with me afterward. With Lettie away and Louis at a friend’s place for the night, we’re kind of free, and I doubt Savvy wants to go back to her place and catch her father in the nude again.
I snicker. I find myself picturing the scene and the horror poor Savvy must have felt. It’s kind of comical, but like hell I’m going to laugh about it in front of her.
Easing out of the shed, I wander across to my agitated girlfriend and catch her from behind before she can spin for the pace-back. She kind of melts against me, leaning back into my torso, although I can still feel the tension in her body.
“Just relax,” I murmur, brushing my lips against her neck. “It’s gonna be okay.”
She huffs and I smile, kissing the spot just below her ear. Her disgruntled annoyance eases just a little, and she spins in my arms to face me.
“I hate this. Why didn’t he tell us? Why didn’t he let us in slowly?”
“Babe, I think that was his plan. You just caught him before he put things into motion.”
“But he’s sleeping with her. It must be serious!”
“Yeah.” I nod.
“So, even just a mention would have been nice.” She frowns, looking out to the ocean.
“If he had just mentioned it, how do you think you would have reacted?”
“I would have…” Her words run dry and she’s left opening and closing her mouth like a goldfish out of water.
I smile and glide my hand down her back. “The news would have been hard no matter how you heard it. I think your dad knows it, and that’s why he’s been procrastinating. You guys have been this solid family unit for over three years.”
She bobs her head, then lets out an unhappy squeak as she rests her forehead against my shoulder. I kiss the side of her head and keep rubbing her back.
“I want him to be happy,” she mumbles against my shirt. “He deserves it. It just feels weird. It makes me miss Mom and wish that…” She sighs. “I don’t know. I just… I’m not ready for all this change.” Pulling out of my embrace, she gives me a pained smile. “I’m not ready to leave Lettie and Lou, especially now. They need me.”
My eyebrows wrinkle with confusion. What is she trying to say right now?
“Babe.” I reach for her hand, giving it a light squeeze. “They’re not your kids. You know that, right? You shouldn’t have to shoulder that responsibility.”
Her nostrils flare as I scratch at the mild argument we can’t seem to stop having. She’s trying so hard not to mother Lettie and has been doing such a great job, but it’s like she feels as though she’s nothing without this role in their lives. Like she’s afraid to step away and be herself without her siblings.
Her chin trembles just a little and she bites her lips together, looking down at our joined hands.
“Sav? What’s going on?” I step into her space. “I’m kind of getting the vibe like this is about more than just your dad and his new girlfriend.”
She shakes her head but won’t answer me, so I bend my knees to get eye level with her. Brushing the waves of hair away from her face, I tip her chin until she’s looking right at me.
“Talk to me.”
“We’ve got a plan.” She sniffs. “It’s a great plan, and I know we should stick to it. On paper, it totally makes sense, right? We go to college together, maybe we find a place in San Diego…together. You know, when we’re ready for that, and I… I…” Her voice trails off, her head tipping to the side as her eyes narrow at the corners. “What is it?”
I swallow, suddenly aware that my expression might have been doing something it wasn’t supposed to.
Standing tall, I cross my arms and give her a nervous smile.
“Babe?” She runs her hand down my arm, and I see that my time’s up.
There’s no point hiding it anymore.
Our perfect paper plan is about to get ripped to shreds.
14
SAVANNAH
“WHAT’S THE MATTER?” I squeeze Griffin’s elbow, trying to figure out that agonized look on his face. It started creeping into his expression the second I mentioned our plan.
He’s been hiding something from me, and that kind of stings, but maybe I’ve been so busy stressing over my father that Griffin didn’t want to bring it up.
I bite the edge of my lip, preparing myself for more bad news.
Scratching his forehead, he cringes and flicks a dread over his shoulder before finally admitting, “I didn’t get in.”
“Get in?” I frown, then start to catch up the second he elaborates.
“All those schools. I applied for all of them, just like we’d planned and I…” He shrugs. “I didn’t get in…to any of them.” He looks so wounded. “I’m sorry, babe. I’m really sorry.”
“Why are you apologizing? It’s not your fault.”
“Yes it is!” He flicks his arms wide. “I’ve got a record. I’ve got history that’s screwing up my future!” Kicking the sand at his feet, he looks down at the grains between us, and all I want to do is hug him.
Taking two steps forward, I wrestle his arms apart and force myself into his embrace. I don’t have to fight too hard. The second my body is pressed against him, he wraps h
is arms around me and buries his face in my neck.
Funny how just a few minutes ago, the roles were reversed. It kind of makes me feel warm and fuzzy, knowing we can carry each other’s pain. I love supporting him, just as much as I love him supporting me.
“It’s gonna be okay.” I whisper his words back to him.
“I just feel like I’m letting us down.”
I pull back so I can look at his face. Holding his cheeks in my hands, I smile up at him, thoroughly in love. “You’re not. And if I’m completely honest, I’m…” I sigh and run my tongue over my bottom lip. “I’ve been having major doubts about going off to college. It’s like I’m trying to find every excuse I can not to go.”
“Why?” Griffin runs his hands down my sides, resting them on my hips.
“I’m not sure. I guess I’m just over studying. I’m done with grades and assignments and…my brain wants a break. I need to just…be for a while. I don’t want to go off to college yet. I don’t even know what I want to do with my life. I’m not particularly passionate about anything specific. It’s not like I know I want to be a lifeguard, the way you and Aidan do. I have no idea. I seriously… I don’t…” I give him a pained frown. “I do well in school because that’s what I’m supposed to do, not because it necessarily interests me.”
His expression softens with a sweet smile. “Well, what do you like doing?”
“A little bit of everything, I guess.”
“When are you most happy?”
“When I’m with you.”
He tips his head and gives me a droll look. I snicker and shake my head. “I don’t know. I like cooking. I like surfing. I like organizing stuff. I… I don’t know! I just do know that the thought of going off to college doesn’t excite me, at all. If anything, it fills me with dread.”
He studies me for a moment, like he’s trying to form his next words carefully. I ready myself for whatever it is. I hate disagreeing with Griffin, but…
“No one says you have to go to college right after high school. As far as I’m aware, there’s no law about it.”
