Rush

by Deborah Bladon

  “He’ll never get the chance to love,” I point out. “Do you know how that makes me feel inside?”

  “Guilty.” He raises a hand to punctuate the word. “You feel guilty because he died, and you didn’t.”

  I drop my head. “Why did he have to die?”

  “Why did I get to live?” His voice quivers. “Do you think I didn’t take on some of that guilt too?”

  I look up at him with tears clouding my vision. “You weren’t there.”

  “I should have been.” His hand slams the top of the island. “I should have been there to hold him when he took his last breath. Your mother looked to me to take care of you both, and I failed.”

  I’m on my feet and in front of him in an instant. “Fuck no, you didn’t. You took care of us. Your daughter ran for the hills, and you took on her two boys. Don’t ever doubt what that meant to Apollo and me.”

  He takes me into his arms in a shaky embrace. “I want to tell that girl that I’m sorry that she lost Pol.”

  I step back and cup his cheek in my hand. “She believes Pol loved her.”

  “He did.” He nods. “In his own way, he loved her. She doesn’t need to know about the others.”

  Silence is a weapon in itself, but sometimes it’s a gift.

  Delaney needs to heal, and we have to help in any way we can.

  “Does Emma know you love her?” He taps my bare chest.

  Shaking my head, I hold back a rush of emotion. “You should have seen her face. I swear I could see her heart breaking in two in front of me.”

  “You’re going to fix that.”

  I stare at him. Wisdom has always shone from my grandfather’s eyes. It’s there now.

  “What if it’s too late?” I ask on a whisper.

  “Then you get your ass in gear and show her that you’re the man for her.” He pats my cheek. “Go pack. We’re leaving in two hours.”

  “Two hours.” I huff out a laugh. “You were sure you’d get me to say yes to this trip.”

  “I’m sure you love Emma,” he says matter-of-factly. “If you want her back, you get on the plane. It’s as simple as that.”

  Chapter 64

  Emma

  “That’s my newest creation.” Delaney slides a plate with two cupcakes into the middle of the table. “The cupcake is lavender, and it’s a honey cream frosting.”

  Bella eyes the plate. “Unless you get your hand on one of those now, Emma, I’m eating them both.”

  I tilt my head back in laughter. “I want one.”

  “There’s more.” Delaney motions to one of the display cases. “It’s our flavor of the day.”

  Bella takes a hearty bite. Her head nods as she chews. “I need to take two to go. Barrett is going to love this.”

  Delaney looks to me, so I pick up mine and take a bite. My eyes almost roll back in my head because it’s that good.

  “My brother and his wife are coming back tonight.” I point at the cupcake. “I’ll take two as well for them.”

  “I’ll pack them up.” Delaney turns to walk away.

  “Wait.” Bella reaches out her hand. “Emma wants to help Mickey with his schoolwork.”

  That drops Delaney onto the empty chair at our table. “It’s his reading comprehension. He gets stuck on certain letters.”

  “I’d love to help.” I take another bite of the cupcake. “Maybe we can meet up tomorrow morning? I’m going back to Seattle the day after tomorrow to sort out some stuff there.”

  “But you’re coming back, right?” Bella’s eyebrow edges up. “You’re taking the job at Cabbott.”

  It’s a statement not a question, but I don’t want to mislead her. “I’m still thinking about it.”

  Delaney’s gaze volleys from Bella to me. “Am I missing something?”

  Bella takes the lead before I can say anything. “Emma was offered a job in Manhattan.”

  “You should take it.”

  I turn to Delaney. “It’s a big step.”

  “It doesn’t have to be forever.” She glances at the windows of the bakery. “I love living here, but I don’t think Mickey and I will stay here forever.”

  “Where would you go if you left here?” Bella asks before she takes the final bite of her cupcake.

  “California.” Delaney’s gaze drops to her lap. “I want Mickey to see the ocean one day. His dad loved the ocean.”

  Case loves the ocean.

  The bite of pain I feel whenever I think of him gnaws at my heart.

  With a deep breath, she smiles. “Apollo loved to surf. Mickey wants to learn how someday.”

  Time stops for a brief second as I try and absorb those words.

  Apollo?

  Her Apollo can’t be Case’s Apollo.

  With a lump in my throat, I turn toward her. “What was Apollo’s last name?”

  Her eyes search mine. “It’s the same as Mickey’s middle name. Easton.”

  I can’t stop the flood of emotion that hits me. I drop my head into my hands and let out a sob.

  “Emma?” Delaney reaches to grab my shoulder. “What’s wrong? What happened?”

  I try and focus my gaze on her, but it’s blurring with tears. “I love his brother. I love Apollo’s brother.”

  That sets Delaney up on her feet so fast that the chair she was sitting in tumbles to the ground.

  Bella stands too. Her expression is clouded with confusion as she tries to make sense of what I just said.

  Delaney shakes her head. “Rush? You’re not talking about Rush, are you?”

  “Who is Rush?” Bella glances at me. “What’s going on, Emma?”

  I push to stand, even though my knees are shaking. I look to Delaney, but all I see is sadness so profound that it takes my breath away.

  “He was here,” she shouts at me with her finger pointing at the display case. “He came in here last week to get cupcakes for the woman he loves.”

  It’s me. He loves me.

  I don’t say it, but Delaney connects the dots as she looks at me. Her hand darts to her mouth. “Oh my God, Emma. That’s you. Rush loves you.”

  “Loved,” I whisper. “He left me. He went back to California.”

  Her shoulders sag forward as her hand searches for the edge of the table. “It’s my fault. It’s all my fault. I told him he didn’t have a right to be happy because he let his brother die.”

  Bella falls back on her chair. She doesn’t say anything.

  I don’t either because there’s nothing left to say.

  ***

  Ten minutes later, I’m sipping a glass of water as I watch Bella give Delaney a hug.

  They went to the bathroom in the back of the bakery together for a few minutes. I could have followed them, but I had to sort through my thoughts.

  Case is Mickey’s uncle.

  Why didn’t he say anything when I mentioned Mickey’s name?

  “I’m going to go home.” Bella scoops up her purse from the table. “I’ll text you later.”

  She leans down to wrap her arms around my neck from behind. With a whisper in my ear, she puts a voice to what I’ve been thinking. “Case left New York because of this. It was guilt, Emma.”

  I pat both her hands with mine. “It’s a lot to take in, Bella.”

  She presses a kiss to my cheek. “He needs you. Delaney does too.”

  I glance over to where Delaney is standing. “I’ll talk to her.”

  “I’ll leave you two.” She straightens. “Call me if you need anything.”

  I nod as she walks away, leaving Delaney and me alone.

  Chapter 65

  Emma

  I wait while Delaney speaks to the brown-haired woman behind the counter. We’ve never been formally introduced, but I suspect that she’s Delaney’s aunt.

  Delaney drops her apron on the counter before she grabs a gray crossbody bag and slings it over her shoulder.

  By the time she’s in front of me, her tears are gone. “Can we walk, Emma? Let’s wa
lk and talk.”

  Nodding, I get back to my feet.

  I scoop my phone into my palm before I drop it in my purse. “You lead the way.”

  She holds the door open for me, so I step through and onto the bustling sidewalk.

  “There’s a playground by Mickey’s school.” She glances up the sidewalk. “It’s a couple of blocks over. They have benches there.”

  I fall in step beside her. She’s taller than me, and her legs are long, but I keep up as she hurriedly maneuvers through the late afternoon foot traffic.

  “Mickey is with his sitter today.” She smiles as we wait for a light to change before we cross the street. “He absolutely adores her.”

  “That’s good,” I offer because I can’t think of anything to say.

  I’m still reeling from earlier.

  I can’t believe that I didn’t know that Mickey was related to Case.

  As we near the playground, she tugs her phone out of her bag. With a quick scan of the screen, she sighs. “Sometimes, Mick will send me a message using the sitter’s phone, but they must be busy today.”

  This small talk is lovely, but it’s a precursor to what’s to come.

  I have dozens of questions.

  I know Delaney must have a few too.

  “Is Rush your brother’s best friend?”

  I didn’t think she’d lead with that question, but I’m happy to answer it. “He is. Drake has been friends with him for years.”

  “Drake,” she repeats my brother’s name. “He’s the man in the wedding picture that you showed me?”

  “That’s him.”

  She stops just as we’re about to enter the playground. When she turns to face me, her eyes lock on mine. “I met your brother, Emma.”

  I don’t know why that takes me aback. Nothing should surprise me at this point. I ask a simple question in response to her declaration. “When?”

  “Right after Apollo died.” Her words are sharp and to the point. “Drake looked a lot different. He had a beard, and his hair was past his shoulders.”

  I look toward a vacant wooden bench. I need to sit. I feel like the universe is closing in on me.

  Delaney picks up on my cue and makes her way to the bench. She takes a seat before I do.

  “Apollo took me home a couple of times. It was an apartment on the Lower East Side.” Her eyes wander to three children playing on the swings. Their mother stands nearby, watching over them.

  “I never met Rush.” Her voice lowers. “I saw him talking to Apollo on the sidewalk one afternoon. When I asked who the guy in the suit was, he said it was his brother Rush.”

  “Case,” I say.

  “What?” Her brow furrows.

  “Rush is his nickname.” I straighten my shoulders, trying to find some inner strength to draw from. “His name is Case Abbott.”

  “Case Abbott,” she repeats his name slowly. “It’s no wonder I couldn’t find him. I’ve been looking for Rush Easton for years.”

  ***

  I raise my hand to wave at a little girl playing in the sand. I’ve never seen her before, but children only see the good in the world. They want to bring a smile to a face that has a frown, so they’ll grin or wave if they think it will make a difference.

  It made a difference for me.

  I was on the verge of tears when Delaney told me that she’d been searching for Case but didn’t know his real name.

  “Why did Apollo call him Rush?”

  I glance at her. “Case’s middle name is Rushton.”

  Her chin bobs up and down. “Did they have different fathers?”

  The pained expression on her face as she asks the question tells me that she’s embarrassed. She doesn’t know a lot about Apollo’s family. It’s as much as I know about them.

  “Yes.” I keep the answer simple.

  She takes a breath. “I went to the apartment a few days after Apollo died, and Rush wasn’t around. Your brother was there clearing out the place. There were a couple of other people helping him. I told Drake to tell Rush to call me. My number was in Apollo’s phone, but I never heard from him.”

  “You never heard from Case?” I question back.

  “No.” Her head shakes. “He didn’t call me.”

  I turn to face her directly. “Ever?”

  Her eyes lock on mine. “When Rush or Case … when he walked into Sweet Bluebells last week, it was the first time I’d seen him since the day Apollo died.”

  Frustration taints her tone. I don’t blame her. I can’t blame her.

  A little boy with blond curls runs past us. He resembles Mickey, but he’s shorter, and his eyes are a deep brown.

  Delaney must spot the resemblance too because the next words out of her mouth are about her son. “Rush doesn’t know about Mickey. When I saw him at Sweet Bluebells, I didn’t tell him that Apollo has a son.”

  Chapter 66

  Emma

  I try Case’s number again, but the call goes immediately to voicemail for the third time. I curse under my breath before I leave yet another message that’s exactly the same as the two I just left him.

  “Please call me Case as soon as you can. It’s an emergency.”

  “He’s still not answering?” Delaney is pacing the patch of grass in front of the bench. “Why do you think he’s not answering?”

  A few hours ago, I would have thought it’s because he doesn’t love me, but I know that he does.

  He said it when he was in Sweet Bluebells a week ago.

  After he spoke to Delaney, guilt settled over him, and it drove him back to California.

  “I messed this up so badly.” Delaney rakes a hand through her hair. “I should have told him about Mickey. I shouldn’t have yelled at him. I screamed at him, Emma.”

  I stand to take her shaking hands in mine. “You have been holding this in for years. You were angry with him.”

  “I was so pissed that he never bothered to call me back.” She looks up at the blue sky. “I didn’t want him to be happy if I couldn’t be.”

  I want to tell her that she can be happy. She can open her heart back up to love.

  She can move to California and teach her son how to surf because she has a built-in family there. She has Case and his grandfather.

  I glance down at my phone’s screen. “I wish he’d call me back.”

  Her finger flies in the air. “Text him. Maybe try and text him.”

  It’s worth a shot, so I type out a quick message to him.

  Emma: Case, please get in touch with me immediately. It’s very important!

  I stare at the screen waiting for the delivered message notification, but it doesn’t come.

  “What’s wrong?” Delaney cranes her neck to get a better look.

  “It’s not delivering the message.”

  “His phone is off.” Delaney shakes her head. “Maybe he’s in a meeting? Can you call someone else there to get a message to Rush…I mean Case?”

  I smile. “I call him Rush too.”

  Her gaze drops to her phone when it buzzes. “Mickey’s sitter is taking him for a walk. I’m going to tell them to swing by here to say hi to us. Is that okay with you?”

  My hand darts to my mouth. “He’s Case’s nephew.”

  Tears fill Delaney’s eyes. “I need Case to know that. I let my anger keep me from telling him, but I want Mickey to know his uncle and his future aunt.”

  I laugh through my tears. “You’re not talking about me.”

  “I am.” She swipes a hand over her cheek. “Case loves you, Emma. I saw it when he was talking about you at Sweet Bluebells. He’s crazy about you.”

  “I feel that way too,” I confess. “I love him, Delaney.”

  “We’re going to make a family out of the mess I made.” She looks to the left to see her son approaching with an older woman with red hair. “There’s Mickey. Let’s wait to tell him about his uncle until you talk to Case.”

  “Agreed,” I nod curtly. “I’ll say hi to Mick
ey, and then I’ll try the Cabbott offices in San Francisco.”

  I’ll find Case. I need to. He has a nephew that he has to meet.

  ***

  Two hours later, I fall into my brother’s arms when he walks into Case’s apartment.

  “Emma.” He runs a hand over my back the way he always has. It offers comfort. I need it more than I thought I did. “Damn, I’ve missed you.”

  I step back when I see the woman standing in the foyer. She came in behind Drake, but I was too focused on my brother to notice.

  “You must be Jane.” I move around Drake to greet her.

  “I’ve only heard the best about you, Emma.” Her hands fist in front of her.

  I won’t push for anything more than I think someone will offer, so I give her a smile instead of a hug. “It’s good to meet you, Jane.”

  Drake surveys the interior of the apartment. “I hear that there’s an offer on this place.”

  I try not to look shocked, even though I am.

  “You’ve got sixty days to clear out, sis.” Drake laughs.

  I don’t share the same amusement because we have things to talk about that are far important than where I’m going to live.

  “Where’s Case?”

  Drake’s gaze volleys from my face to Jane’s. “Remember Case, babe?”

  “Yes.” She nods. “I can’t say they’re all good memories.”

  “Jane interned at Cabbott eons ago.” Drake keeps his eyes trained on his bride. “Case wasn’t exactly Mr. Friendly to her.”

  This seems like a good time to start my confessions, so I jump right in. “I love him.”

  A nervous laugh falls out of my brother. “You love who? Beauregard? Did you realize that you two belong together?”

  “Case,” I correct him curtly. “I love Case.”

  Anger flares over his expression. “What the fuck is going on? What did he do to you?”