by Katy Kaylee
After my shower, I styled my hair professionally and slipped on my best form-fitting suit with a pencil skirt. I didn’t know much about KGOLD, but I was willing to bet it would be a man interviewing me, and I wanted to play on any strength I could use. If that meant wearing my best bra and tightest undershirt, then that’s what I would do.
Some might call that anti-feminist, but I would tell them that taking advantage of people who valued my breasts over my judgment was the best way to call them out on it and make my life better in the process.
I grabbed a second cup of coffee - I usually limited myself to one but this was a special circumstance - and headed out of the apartment, taking a deep breath of the crisp New York air.
Luckily, I snagged an amazing apartment, close enough to the park that I could just get a whiff of the trees. When I walked out onto the sidewalk, there were only a few people walking up and down the street. Of course, the closer I got to Times Square, the more packed the sidewalk would become.
I caught my reflection in one of the shop windows I walked past and nodded to myself - today I was going to wow the interviewers for both companies, but ultimately, I knew I would accept a job at KGOLD. My mother did not raise me to believe in anything other than greatness for myself.
I walked into the lobby of the first company ten minutes before my interview, surveying the area. It was fairly modern and well-lit, though the plants were all fake and the chairs were a little worn. I shook my head, thinking that if the company was trying to impress its clients, it definitely needed to up its game when it came to the lobby.
It was all about first impressions, after all, and that’s what I was good at.
“Ms. Williams?”
I nodded as I approached the receptionist, smiling broadly. A lot of people tended to treat receptionists poorly, but I made it a point to be as friendly as possible. Often, the receptionist could be a gateway into the company like no other employee.
“That’s me,” I said, grinning and scanning her outfit. When I spotted a sterling silver piece on her neck that I recognized as a Tiffany necklace, I halted, putting my hand up to my chest and smiling even wider at her. “I’m sorry,” I said, “that necklace is just darling!”
“Oh,” she said, blushing ever so slightly and looking down at her chest. When she looked up at me she was smiling. “My boyfriend got it for me for our two year anniversary. I never go anywhere without it.”
“Do you know where he got it?”
“Tiffany’s,” she said, looking down, as though she was abashed to say it. I laughed and ran my hand over my hair, giving her a genuine smile.
“Well,” I said, “I think that’s a good sign. I wish I could get my boyfriend to go to Tiffany’s.”
She laughed and shook her head, glancing up at me once as though she couldn’t believe I was talking to her. I thought it really was sad how people treated receptionists like they were machines instead of people.
“I have you down,” she said, still smiling at me. “If you want to go ahead and take a seat.”
I did, finding the chair nearest to the area I anticipated the interviewer would come from. I wanted to be the first thing they saw when they came down the hallway, and I wanted to seem as though I was completely prepared. Some interviewees had a tendency to fidget and worry when they were waiting, but I was always wary that someone was watching. I knew I had to appear confident.
“Ms. Williams?” Someone said again, and this time I stood to see a thin woman in a sleek black suit looking down at me. Her black hair was perfectly straight, falling over her shoulders and her brown eyes were unnaturally sharp like she was looking directly into my soul.
“It’s nice to meet you,” I said, standing and assessing the woman. Apparently, I was not being interviewed by a man, which was refreshing. She glanced at my hand with disdain for a moment, then shook it slowly.
“Right this way.”
I followed her to a conference room in the back of the building, and she didn’t say one word as we walked. I wondered what her personality was like outside of work, and perhaps if this was a technique to seed out the weaker applicants, to see if they would be unnerved by her attitude. I could roll with anything.
I walked into the conference room to find a younger man sitting there, a notepad in his hand. He glanced up at me but did not stand and introduce himself, so I assumed he must have been the woman who had greeted me’s assistant.
“Okay,” she said, once I had taken a seat at the long, pristine table. “It’s nice to meet you, Ms. Williams. I will be conducting your interview today, do you have any questions before we start?”
I tilted my head ever so slightly, wondering why this woman was being so distanced from our interactions. She began the interview, asking me simple questions that were clearly listed in my resume, like where I went to school and if there were any accomplishments I would like to share with the company. I listed off my top five, then she cleared her throat, lacing her fingers together and leaning toward me.
“Why are manhole covers round?”
“Well,” I said, laughing slightly. I was prepared for this question, it was fairly common in interviews. “My first answer is because the manholes are round, and my more complete answer is that the covers are round because a circle is the only shape in which the cover doesn’t run the risk of falling into the manhole.”
She barely even acknowledged the fact that I had answered her, she just fired off question after question, all strange and unique questions, becoming more and more difficult as she went, but I was confident that I answered them well, covering my bases and showing my adaptability.
When we were finally finished, I was mentally exhausted, and shaking her hand to say goodbye was a tremendous relief.
“We will be contacting you,” she said, still not smiling. Without wishing me a good day or even really saying goodbye, she turned and walked out of the room, waving at her assistant to show me the way out. He nodded tersely like he was afraid to even verbally respond, and I followed him back to the front of the building.
It was certainly the strangest interview I had ever taken part in.
With that in mind, and with the mental exhaustion weighing heavily on me, I headed to a coffee shop. I normally wouldn’t have dared to drink more than two cups of coffee, but I needed a pick-me-up and the interview I was heading into would be the most important of my entire life.
I drank the coffee carefully, wondering if I should have stopped to get something in my stomach, but I decided I didn’t have time. I didn’t want to risk being late to my interview with KGOLD, so I skipped lunch and got on the subway, heading downtown to the tallest black skyscraper in the city, ready to tackle any obstacle to make sure I landed the position there.
I wanted to be able to call my mom at the end of the day and tell her that I had rocked the interview. I wanted to call Charlie next and hear her scream into the phone, telling me what a badass I was. I couldn’t wait to relay my victory.
The subway ride was relatively quick and painless - I got to avoid any awkward encounters or close squeezes by avoiding the aboveground traffic. When I stepped back out onto the street, I relished the bright sunshine and fresh air. I had never really liked being underground - it made me feel tight and small. I refused to call it claustrophobia, though, as I would never admit to having a weakness like that.
I arrived at the KGOLD building just in time, looking up at the big black skyscraper in awe. The sunlight glinted off of its smooth, reflective surface, even the other skyscrapers appeared small in its shadow. I wanted so badly to be a part of what was going on inside.
The lobby was elegant and refined, a fountain sparkling in the middle of the room and creating a floating ambiance. The chairs were clean and antique, freshly painted and virtually flawless. There were three receptionists sitting at a large, curved desk, and when I walked in, they all three looked at me and one immediately offered to help me find the office I was looking for.
; I informed them that I was looking for my office - I was going to be employed there soon. Once they had me down, I took a seat and cataloged the tiniest details about the room, running through the interview again and again in my head, imagining exactly how it would go.
And then, before I could help it, I was thinking about Lucas.
I smiled to myself, knowing that after all these years, I had come out on top. I had no idea what he was doing with his life, but surely he wasn’t sitting in the lobby of KGOLD, waiting to land his dream job. I was living my best life. I was making my dreams come true.
And it was the best revenge against him I could possibly imagine.
Chapter 2
Lucas
I groaned and rolled onto my side, hating the familiar tone on my phone that was meant to wake me up. Though I had a full nine hours of sleep, it felt as though I had just crawled into bed, and it was infuriating that the universe expected me to get up again.
After a moment, I reached my arm up and fumbled along my bed stand until I found the remote for the blinds. I hit it, knowing I was going to regret it. The blinds slowly opened, allowing the sunshine to stream into the room. I groaned again, though there was nobody there to hear it, and sat up, coming face to face with the picture on the wall next to my bed.
I rubbed my face, wanting to look away but being unable to. The picture was me and an older woman who looked just like me, painfully similar but somehow different. Like twins from different times. As though the distance between us had made her nose slightly longer and my hair slightly curlier.
I knew this wasn't true. I knew that my other, softer features came from my father, but I didn’t want to think about it. He was the reason I had only just now met my mother. The reason I had believed my mother didn’t want me when I was growing up.
I shook my head, ruffling my hands through my hair and trying to get rid of the thoughts running through my mind. I knew that harboring bad feelings against my father wasn’t healthy, but I couldn’t help it. He had lied to me my entire life, and the only reason I had ever learned the truth was that Oliver had invited me to the city to take a position in his father’s company.
Well, his company, now that his father had passed away.
It was interesting, to see Oliver so broken up at his father’s funeral. All I had ever seen my father as was a tyrant. Someone I couldn’t wait to get away from. And Oliver was devastated to see his father go.
I looked at the picture one last time before getting up to shower before work, wondering if I would be that devastated at my mother’s funeral. I had only known her for a short time now, but I was quickly finding the bond between us strong. Her sickness was severe, however, and every time I came to visit her the nurses gave me pitying looks. The entire hospital knew our story and they were all rooting for my mother to make it through so I could spend the rest of my life with her.
So my children would have a grandmother, so she could pass on family traditions I knew nothing about. I found myself thinking about all the time I had missed with her and I stopped myself, shaking my head and climbing into the shower, letting the hot water run over my body and help me relax.
So far, Oliver had been pretty easy on me when it came to my position at the company, but lately, he had been pressing me more to do the simple things. Like getting there on time and remembering to press my suit before I came.
I hated to let him down. Especially with how close we had been during our service. Bunkmates, then roommates, then an unstoppable team that people couldn’t get past. Oliver and I together were the greatest asset our team had, and when our time was up and we were both offered positions as officers, they practically begged us to stay and continue our work.
But we were both tired of it, and Oliver’s father had been very ill, even worse than my mother was now. So he came back to the city and listened to his father’s dying wish for Oliver to take over the company and raise it from the ground.
So Oliver did. And he enlisted me to help with that. And he offered me a salary high enough to afford my new fancy apartment, so I could hardly complain.
I remembered the interview I had to conduct today and groaned to myself, revoking the idea that I couldn’t complain. I hated interviewing people - it always made me feel like I was above them somehow, which, although I may have been technically, I didn’t feel like. I still felt like the kid from nowhere who had managed to fuck up his life before it even started.
And just like that, I was thinking about her again.
About that night, and that beautiful dress, and the way it had looked when it fell to the floor in a pretty heap. I thought about her hair, and how I had unpinned every tendril from its careful up-do, how I had run my hands through it, thinking about how soft it was and how good it smelled, and how I had buried myself between her legs, how I had touched every part of her…
I shook my head, a heavy dread filling my stomach.
I could never think about her and all the things we did, both that night and for the rest of the summer, without reminding myself of the fact that she probably hates me. That I had left her without saying a word, and although I hadn’t had any choice in the matter, she probably never wanted to see me again.
What I had done to her was almost worse than what Ron had done. I knew that if I ever saw her again, there was no way she would ever forgive me, and I shuddered to think about what Charlie would do if she ever saw me again.
Though thinking about her inevitably brought on the thoughts of what I had done to hurt her, I still thought about her every day, and though there had been plenty of opportunities, she was the only girl who had ever managed to stick in my mind.
Of course, there had been opportunities - when we were stationed in countries I couldn’t remember the name of, the men would go out during their breaks and pay for cheap women in the bars where the alcohol was served warm. I had always claimed that I didn’t want to take part because I was afraid of catching whatever they had, and I made light of the situation, joking with the other men that they didn’t know where they had been, but the truth was, I couldn’t think of women the same after being with Torryn.
I didn’t want to be with anyone but her.
And I knew that was impossible. And I was waiting for my mind to rewire itself, to allow me to love someone else, but I had been waiting for a long time and I wasn’t sure it was ever going to happen.
I pulled on my suit jacket, promising myself that I would iron it the next day for sure. I grabbed an orange from the basket on the counter and walked out onto the street.
My apartment was very nice, but the streets below it were crowded and pulsing with life. When I had first moved in, before the sound-canceling blinds were installed, I could hardly sleep at night. Now, I slept like a baby, and I think I would even with the honking and yelling and music drifting through my window.
I climbed into a taxi and let my eyes wander outside the window as we made our way to the building. Traffic was a little more congested than usual that morning, so we were moving slower than usual, but I didn’t mind. Like usual, I ran through my day in my head. Oliver had some minor things he wanted me to take care of, and he needed me to conduct that interview, but I was getting off early to go see my mom, so I told myself that was a fair the trade-off.
When I walked into the lobby, all three of the receptionists greeted me. Ever since the employees had found out I was close friends with Oliver, they had all been very friendly to me. I sometimes wondered if they would have been as nice to me if I was just some guy off the street, but I tried to keep it out of my mind.
I was already intimidated enough, working at a huge company, and I didn’t want to psych myself out by thinking I didn’t deserve to be there.
As Oliver had told me many times, I was more than qualified for my position.
I made my way to the elevator and to the top of the building where Oliver and I both had our offices. The view from my office was amazing - it felt like I could see the entire city st
retching out under me like I was looking at my kingdom. Oliver tried to encourage that feeling in us, saying company morale was good for stock value.
“Good morning Lucas!” Rachel chimed, as soon as I stepped off the elevator. Situated between the three offices was a large curved desk mimicking the one in the lobby, only smaller. Three women were seated behind the desk, all typing or looking through papers. The other two looked up at me and smiled as I walked past them, my bag swinging against my hip.
“Good morning,” I said, waving at them half-heartedly, wishing I could be as chipper as they were every morning.
“Hey,” Oliver said, coming out of his office as soon as the elevator doors opened. “Did you get the email I sent you? It just has the information for the interview sent over from HR. Just take notes and try to be friendly, I think we are going to hire this woman. She’s very qualified and she’s moved to the city to make herself available full time. I imagine many of our competitors are fighting to hire her as well.”
I looked down at the file.
“It’s a woman?” I asked, not opening it. I was not looking forward to interviewing at all, but the idea that it was a woman intimidated me more. I felt like women could sense my betrayal to Torryn on me and that they automatically wanted nothing to do with me because of it.
“Yeah,” Oliver laughed, knowing a little bit about my history but not much. “Don’t run off with your tail between your legs. It’s just a woman.”
I nodded, ignoring the flip in my stomach and tucking the file under my arm. I didn’t even want to look at it. I didn’t want to think about the prolonged face-to-face interaction and the fact that I was going to be a superior, and how it was going to seem like I was judging her from the moment she walked in.
After taking care of some numbers Oliver needed me to look at, I sighed, gathering my materials for the interview and heading down the elevator again, to our best conference room. I set up my documents in front of me, looking over the checklist from HR once more. The time ticked by and I realized I had left far too early, but my nervousness got the best of me.
