by Katy Kaylee
I managed a smile even though inside my stomach burned with guilt. He was a better person than me.
He took my hand and kissed my knuckles. “I’m glad you didn’t hold on to the anger with me.”
I was going to hell for sure. “Me too.” I managed.
When we got to the hospital, many of the nurses on the ward said hello to Lucas, an indication that he spent a lot of time there. I had another level of guilt that I’d kept him away from her yesterday.
“Hey mom,” Lucas said as he opened the door. He took my hand and pulled me in behind him. “I brought someone for you to meet. Torryn, this is my mother. Mom this is Torryn Williams.”
“It’s nice to meet you.” I reached out my hand to the pale, gaunt woman in the bed.
Despite being ravished by illness, her blue eyes sparkled. “I’m so happy to meet you Torryn. I’ve heard so much about you.”
“All good I hope.”
Lucas pulled a chair next to his mother’s bed for me to sit in. He stayed standing next to me and took his mother’s hand.
“It’s absolutely good. He says you’re smart and beautiful, and he’s right.”
“You’ve only just met me.”
His mother laughed. “Well my eyes work, so I can see you’re beautiful. And you’re with my son, which makes you smart.”
“Mom.” Lucas blushed and it was adorable.
“Did he tell you how he saved me at prom?”
“Prom?” His mother looked up at him. “I don’t think so.”
I nodded. “My boyfriend was out canoodling with another girl. Of course, I was angry and embarrassed and I didn’t want to go to prom after that.”
“And Lucas took you?”
“He did, which was a shocker because just a few hours before that he was telling me what a waste of time prom was.”
“No!” his mother looked up at him.
Lucas shrugged. “It’s true.”
“True that you said prom was a waste of time or true that you took her.”
“Both.”
“He was wrong of course, weren’t you, Lucas? Prom wasn’t a waste of time.” I gave him a coy smile that I hoped made him remember what we did at prom.
“No, it definitely wasn’t a waste of time.” He winked at me. “In fact, I’d say it was life-changing.”
“That probably involves more than your mother needs to hear,” his mom said. She turned to me. “Lucas tells me you’re a quite a star in your field. And you’re still so young.”
My heart warmed that Lucas would be bragging about me to his mother. “I work hard.”
“Not too hard, I hope. It’s important to have fun in life too.” His mother sighed and I got the feeling that she was wishing she’d enjoyed life more.
“I probably need to work on that,” I admitted.
“Lucas will help you, won’t you dear?”
“Absolutely.”
As I continued to visit with Lucas and his mother, I was both sad and happy for them. Lucas had always been a good person who’d deserved better treatment than he’d gotten from his father. To learn that his father robbed him of his mother, was doubly bad. I couldn’t even imagine the heartbreak his mother had at losing her son.
And yet I was happy because they were together. They’d lost time, but they were making up for it. I didn’t know the details of her illness, but I hoped it was something the doctors would be able to fix. They both deserved to have each other for a long while.
Chapter 22
Lucas
I don’t know why I was nervous about having Torryn meet my mother. Maybe I was worried that Torryn would be apprehensive about seeing her so soon after our relationship started, or in this case, restarted. Or maybe my concern was that Torryn would still hold a grudge against my mom for being gone while I grew up. Torryn could be fiercely loyal and protective of those she loved. But she must have believed the reasoning my mother had given me because the two most important women in my life were chatting away.
“Torryn was valedictorian,” I said as the conversation veered back into our high school days. “I tried to beat her, but she was too smart for me.”
She smirked. “I wore a low-cut dress on the day of our chemistry final. I think I might have distracted him.”
My mother laughed, even as I felt the heat of a blush on my cheeks. She wasn’t wrong. I was often distracted by Torryn, and it was completely possible my grades dipped a bit because I was too busy studying Torryn and not chemistry.
“I bet you two were such a cute couple then.”
Torryn perked up. “I have a few pictures.”
That surprised me. I’d have thought she’d have gotten rid of pictures of us considering what I had done to her. She pulled out her phone and began to tap away.
“All my old high school pictures are stored in the cloud.” She held up the phone as if she was looking for extra bars. “The service isn’t great here.” But she kept at it and finally handed the phone to my mother.
“Oh.” Tears welled in my mother’s eyes as she studied the picture. Then she looked up at me. “You were skinnier then.”
“You can say it, mom. I was a nerd.”
“No. You just hadn’t grown into your manhood yet.” My mother turned her attention back to the picture again. “Torryn you’re still just as beautiful.”
“Thank you. Say, would you say that dress is aquamarine?”
I snorted. My mother looked up at me with one brow raised.
“It’s blue,” I retorted.
As if my mom realized that it was an inside joke, she looked at the picture again. “I’d say you were both right.”
“She’s a diplomat,” Torryn joked.
We settled in and chatted more. The setting was comfortable and natural. I was glad for it even while I felt a little overwhelmed by it. It was almost too good to be true. Perhaps it was a sign that my mother wasn’t going to make it. After all, my life was full of times where everything was perfect only to have the rug pulled out from under me. I didn’t like looking over my shoulder for something to go wrong, but it was a hard habit to break after a lifetime of disappointment.
“You okay?” Torryn looked up at me with concern in her eyes.
“Yah. Great. I’m thirsty. How about you?” I needed an excuse to leave for a minute to gather my thoughts.
“Sure.”
“Mom?”
“I’m fine, Lucas.”
I headed out my mom’s room to find a vending machine and rid my head of the doomsday thinking. The truth was, I should be happy. Elated. And I was. I loved that Torryn and my mother were getting along. When we were done, I planned to take Torryn for a nice dinner, and then maybe back to my place to thank her in private. I wondered if she would come with me to visit my mom in the morning. I stopped for a moment as I realized in only a few days of having Torryn back, I was including her in my daily life. I didn’t have to think about it. It was second nature to think of having dinner or breakfast with her, of waking up beside her, of having her with me visiting my mother.
Warning bells sounded. I swore and pushed them aside. My mom had told me that I couldn’t focus on her illness. I needed to be grateful for what I had right here and now. Right here and now I had my mother and Torryn getting along.
I bought a couple of sodas and then headed back to the room. I heard them laughing, and walked in to find Torryn sitting next to my mom on the bed showing her pictures on the phone.
“That’s the year he started working out,” Torryn said. “He came back to school after that summer looking buff.” She winked at me as I entered the room.
“I suppose all the girls noticed him.”
“A few.” Torryn took the can of soda I offered her.
“But not the one I’d been trying to impress.” I quirked a brow at her.
“I’m sure she noticed.”
“Well, of course she did.” The weakness in my mother’s tone had me looking to her.
“You okay mo
m?”
“I’m just tired.” She sagged back in her sheets, and to me, it looked like she might be swallowed up by the bed.
“Why don’t I call the doctor?”
“No, I just need to rest.”
I was about to insist when the door opened and my mother’s doctor walked in. “I’m sorry to interrupt, but I have some things I need to discuss with you.”
“Oh, yes.” Torryn slipped from the bed. “I’ll leave you to it. Can I come to visit you again?”
“You don’t have to go.” My mother looked at the doctor. “This is my son and his friend. They can hear whatever you have to say. It will save me the time in trying to explain it later.”
“Very well.”
Torryn moved to me at the end of the bed while the doctor went to stand next to my mother. Torryn slipped her arm through mine, and I was grateful for the support.
“The best course of treatment at this time is for peripheral blood stem cell donation or PBSC.”
“How is that done?” my mother asked.
“The procedure is easier than a bone marrow donation. It involves a central venous catheter in your chest, where we implant good stem cells into your bloodstream.”
“Where do you get the good cells?” I asked.
“We need a donor.”
“I’ll do it.” I stepped closer to the doctor. “What do I need to do?”
“First, we need to test to make sure you’re a match.”
“I’m her son, surely I’m a match.”
The doctored sighed. “It’s possible, but only about thirty percent of family members are a match.”
“What happens if I’m not a match?” I asked as the dread rose in my gut again.
“There is a registry we can access once we know what we need for a match.”
“Can I be tested?” Torryn asked.
“I can’t ask you to do that,” my mother said.
“You didn’t. I’m offering.” She looked at my mother and then at me. There was a slight hesitation as if she wasn’t sure I’d approve of her volunteering to donate to my mother.
“But the risk—” My mother started.
“There’s very little risk to the donor,” the doctor said. “In this procedure, we don’t have to use any anesthesia. It’s a bit like giving blood.”
My heart was racing with a mixture of hope for my mother and love for Torryn that she’d offer to help my mother after only just meeting her.
“So, it’s settled. Test me too. If Lucas isn’t a match, maybe I will be.”
I couldn’t put words to my thoughts, but I nodded to her hoping she could see gratitude in my eyes.
We took the test separately with me going first. I left my mother and Torryn to look at more pictures while I followed the doctor to a room where a nurse came in and did a quick saliva swab in my cheek.
“That’s it?” It seemed too easy,
“That will give us a preliminary determination if you’re a match. If so, you’ll undergo more extensive testing to make sure you’re a good match.”
When I was done, Torryn went to have the test.
“Please tell Torryn that she doesn’t need to do this.” My mother took my hand.
“Why? The doctor says it’s like giving blood. If it can save you, why—”
“I don’t want my illness to get between you two.”
I shook my head not understanding what my mother was saying. “How would it get between us?”
“What if she’s a match but I don’t get better? Will you hold it against her?”
“No.”
My mother slanted a look at me, and I had to concede that while I wouldn’t blame Torryn, there might be a part of me that resented her if things didn’t go right. But that was just emotion. I was a man of reason.
“I’m grateful that she wants to try.”
“So am I, Lucas. She’s a good woman. I hope you’ll hold on to her, no matter what.”
I took the “no matter what” to mean if my mother died. But I didn’t want to think about that. “I will mom.”
When Torryn returned, it was clear my mother was tired, so we said our goodbyes. As Torryn and I headed out of the hospital, I was filled with hope that my mother would have the treatment she needed, and profound gratitude for Torryn. It seemed to me that I’d be a better match for my mother than Torryn since I was biologically related. But the fact that Torryn would volunteer to be poked and prodded to help save a woman she’d only just met, touched me deeply. It made me feel bad for questioning her feelings for me earlier.
While we waited at the curb for the car I ordered, I took her in my arms and held her.
She looked at me with those fabulous green eyes. “What’s that for?”
“Thank you.”
“You’re welcome. What are you thanking me for?”
“For being so kind to my mother. For volunteering to help her.”
“Of course, Lucas. You’re not surprised that I’d help, are you? I am a nice person.” Her tone was teasing.
I pulled her a little closer. “I’m not surprised, I’m just so grateful.”
“I’m happy to do it if it will help.”
Once the car arrived, I took her to dinner, filling her up with all her favorite foods. One thing I’d always loved about Torryn was her appreciation of food. Many people look at others who they think are slightly overweight and think they’re gluttons with no self-control. Torryn isn’t like that. She savors the foods she eats. If she didn’t have a successful career in business, she could probably make a living as a food critic.
After dinner, I reached across the table to take her hand. “Come home with me. Let me show you just how much I appreciate you.”
Desire flashed in her eyes, but she shook her head. “I’ve already had to take the walk of shame twice from your place. You can show me your appreciation at my place.”
“Or we can pack some of your clothes and take them back to my place.”
“My apartment is small, but not bad.”
“I’m sorry.” I pulled her hand to my lips and kissed it. “I didn’t mean to imply there was something wrong with your place. I just like having you in my bed.”
“It is a nice bed.”
She agreed to my terms, but when we got back to her place to pack some clothes, we discovered her dining table and later her bed served as good spots for me to show her how much I appreciated her. The truth was, I couldn’t wait any longer to touch her or to watch her gorgeous face as I pushed her to one big O and then another.
Later, laying in her smaller, but still cozy bed, naked and sated, I rubbed her back and shared how lucky I felt to have her and my mother back in my life. I even expressed my fear that doom was around the corner and that I’d lose one of them.
Like she had the other night, Torryn held and comforted me. “Don’t let these fears keep you from enjoying your time with your mom or me.” She looked at me with those wise eyes.
I knew what she was saying, and yet, the way she said it made it seem like there was a finite time I’d have with them.
She must have seen something in my eyes because she shook me slightly. “Hey. I’m not going anywhere. And when your mom gets a donor, she’ll be around for a long time too.”
I mustered a smile and worked to shed the fear and doubt. “Have I told you how much I appreciate you?”
Her smile was wide and beautiful. “I think you may have mentioned it.”
“Let me tell you again.” I rolled her underneath me, slipped inside her again, and gave myself over to the feel of her body pleasuring mine.
Chapter 23
Torryn
Lucas and I made love again, and I tried to reassure him that he could enjoy the good things in his life. But even as I assured him that his fears were unfounded, I realized that he was right. There were no guarantees in life. The same illness threatening his mother could attack me or him or my family.
He knew first hand that happiness could be fleeting
. He’d grown up without his mother and had been forced to leave the woman he loved. He was grateful to have us back, but his fear of losing us again kept him from fully enjoying the blessings he had.
I couldn’t blame or fault him for that. I was the one that was living my life in ignorant bliss. I had fabulous parents who supported all my hopes and dreams, and all they’d asked for was that I attend my mother’s birthday party. Too focused on me and my life, I’d told them I didn’t think I could come. That had to change. I needed to find a way to go.
The next morning, Lucas was up and dressed early. “Torryn?” His lips brushed my temple.
“Do you want breakfast?” The sleep was still heavy in my brain as he leaned over me, fully dressed in his suit from yesterday.
“No, you sleep. I have a meeting this morning, so I want to get changed and get to work.”
“You sure?”
“I’m sure, sweetheart.”
A sappy smile spread on my face at the term of endearment. He kissed me and then headed out the door.
A few hours later, I arrived at work. I’d just unlocked my office door when my cell phone rang.
“Ms. Williams?” the person said when I picked up.
“Yes.”
“I’m calling to let you know that you’re a match for the stem cell donation.”
“Oh, wonderful.” I set my purse down and went to my desk so I could take notes on whatever the medical person was going to tell me. “What do I do next?”
“Can you come in tomorrow morning for further testing? We just need to make sure of the match.”
“Yes of course. What time?”
“First thing? Eight a.m.?”
“I’ll be there.” Even as I said it, I wondered what Oliver would think of my taking more time off. Then I remembered that he and Lucas were good friends, so he’d likely support my effort to help Lucas’ mom.
“It’s such a wonderful thing what you’re doing. Many people don’t realize how precious family is until something like this happens.”
