by Katy Kaylee
Again my heart did a loopty-lou in my chest at his use of the word love. I’m sure he meant love as sex, but I pretended he meant the emotion.
He wrapped one arm around my body, pressing it against my belly and he lightly ground his hardon against my backside. His other hand wrapped around me and slid down to my nest curls.
“You’re wet for me.”
“Yes.” I closed my eyes as his fingers played with my clit.
“Watch me, Torryn.”
I tore my eyes open and watched as his fingers slid between my folds. He kissed my neck and tugged on my ear with his teeth.
Electricity shot through my body, making my legs weak.
Lucas and I had been adventurous in our sex life in high school, but we were young and inexperienced. Since meeting him again, he’d showed me so many new ways to pleasure each other. And I was eager to explore with him.
Now, watching him pleasure me, was incredibly erotic. I was already teetering on the edge of an orgasm.
“Are you going to come for me?”
“Yes.” My hips gyrated, trying to get more stimulation.
The hand on my belly slid up and cupped my breast. He tweaked my nipple while at the same time his fingers rubbed fast and furious between my legs.
I gasped as pleasure coiled tight.
He whispered in my ear. “Tell me when you come.”
“More…God more…” I was almost there. So close. “I’m coming.” Like a tidal wave, pleasure flooded to every neuron in my body
“That’s right, baby, come for me.”
My legs quivered as I rode Lucas’ fingers for what seemed like an eternity. Completely spent, I leaned forward to rest my hands on the desk.
“So fucking hot.” Lucas put one of his hands on my hip and with the other he guided his cock to my wet, still pulsing pussy.
Desperate to feel him fill me, I pushed back, taking him deep into me in single fast thrust. He let out a long feral groan that filled the room. He pulled out slowly and thrust in again. Through the mirror, the vision of him fucking me from behind sent a new wave of shivers through my body.
“I love how you feel in me, Lucas.”
He gripped my hips with both hands as he picked up the pace, his cock pistoning in and out of me. He let out another groan as he threw his head back. I focused on squeezing him tighter.
“Fuck yeah, oh God…I’m coming baby.”
I wasn’t quite there, but that was okay because watching him as the sweet pain and torture of need on his face finally flipped to an expression of ecstasy was worth it. He pulsed inside me, releasing his hot essence. He thrust, held and thrust again as the last of his orgasm overtook him.
He collapsed over me, his hands landing on the table just outside of mine. He kissed my cheek. “You undo me, Torryn.”
There was something about his words that had me turning, and putting my arms around him. I didn’t know what he meant, but I knew I felt completely overwhelmed and helpless by my feelings. Is that what he meant?
It took us a few minutes, but eventually, we ended up sitting in bed, drinking champagne. The emotion was swallowing me alive, but our talk remained light, talking about my mom’s party and other non-important topics.
Before long, our libidos took control again, until exhausted we settled down to sleep. He spooned my body and I settled against him. Everything felt so perfect. So right.
“I love you, Lucas.”
His breath was soft and steady against my ear, and I realized he was asleep.
Chapter 30
Lucas
I woke the next morning with Torryn nestled beside me. It was not unusual that my body immediately craved her. What was different was the realization that my heart was cracked wide open with a need for her. Not just now. Not just for tomorrow. But for always. I was in love with her.
I had some inkling that she was important to me, but until this moment, I didn’t realize just how deep my feelings were. My only choice for happiness was with this woman. I was both terrified and excited by the thought. Maybe we could finally have the life we’d planned. Or maybe, she didn’t feel the same.
I felt certain that Torryn cared for me, but was she thinking of us in the long term? There were moments when I thought I saw love in her eyes and felt it in her touch. I thought maybe she’d even said it, but that was probably a dream. Wishful thinking. Because sometimes she seemed apprehensive. Every now and then, she had an expression I couldn’t read. Was it fear that I could hurt her again? Sometimes I thought it was guilt, although I couldn’t figure out why she’d feel guilty when I’d been the one to fuck things up for us.
“Your thinking is waking me up.” Her voice was soft with sleep.
“Sorry, sweetheart.” I kissed her temple.
She turned over and gave me a sleepy smile. “What’s rattling around in that brainiac head of yours?”
I laughed. “I’m having a tug of war about whether or not I should wake you to make love or let you sleep.”
“What have you decided?”
I ran my hand down her arm, then linked my fingers with hers and pulled them to my chest. “I suppose it depends on whether or not you have plans this morning.”
She yawned. “I have to meet Charlie for brunch, and then my flight back to New York is this evening. Right now, I’m free.”
“In that case.” I kissed her, slow and soft, wanting to take my time and draw this out for as long as I could. Forever if possible.
She sighed as she went pliant against me. Her round soft breasts pressed into my chest, and as I kissed her, I lightly teased her nipple.
Normally, we had fast, furious, desperate fucks. And I loved that. But right now, I wanted to make love to her. I wanted to show her through my touch, through my kiss, by joining my body to hers, that she had my heart and soul.
Fortunately, she was with me on this slow seduction. Her hands caressed my back, slowly stoking the fire of desire. We took turns taking the lead, first me on top, kissing her lips, laving her breasts with my tongue, my hands touching her everywhere.
Then we rolled, and she was on top, her body grinding against mine, but not in any hurry. Her breasts dangled over my face and I took that as an invitation to love them. I suckled and licked them with my mouth, and kneaded them with my fingers.
We moved together in perfect synchronicity, like a dance. Then we shifted and I was over her now. I stopped simply to take in her beauty. Those gorgeous green eyes stared up at me with emotion that I hoped and prayed was love.
“Torryn.” I took her hands in mine, palm to palm, and stretched them over her head. Her hands squeezed mine and I hoped it meant that she felt the weight of the moment, the emotion, as well.
I shifted my hips to position my hard length at her entrance. Then I entered her by slow degrees. Her body arched to invite me in, inch by inch until finally, I had reached the hilt.
“Lucas.” My name escaped her lips on a soft whisper.
“You’re so beautiful, Torryn.” I couldn’t take my eyes off her face. I wanted to tell her that I love her so badly it hurt. But I don’t. At least not in words. I let my body, my soul, convey every emotion flooding my heart for this woman.
I began to move in long slow strokes, watching her reaction to each glide inside and withdrawal. Each time, the friction and tension grew, but it was a sweet, slow torture, that built slowly. Her legs wrapped around my hips, holding me to her, pelvis to pelvis. We were joined by hands, bodies, and hearts. I kissed her, pouring all the emotion I felt into it. I couldn’t ever remember feeling so close or connected to her as I did at this moment. Not even in high school.
We began to move again, but now the need was growing. With each stroke, the friction increased, the tension built, and the pleasure intensified until I was moving in and out of her in strong, forceful thrusts.
“Yes, Lucas.”
Her eyes closed and her head tilted back as she reached for the ultimate bliss. Wanting to help her, I dipped my head
and suckled on her nipple. Her body tightened around me, and my own need for release ratcheted up.
“Come with me, Torryn.” With that, I let loose the reins of control and allowed my body to take over. As I moved in and out of her, her hips rose to meet mine, and together we reached the peak and soared as pleasure washed through our bodies. We drew out the moment, continuing to move until finally, our bodies stilled.
I kissed her again and then releasing her hands pulled her close.
The emotion of the morning lingered. When it was finally time to get up, we took our time in the shower, making love again, and then washing each other. We dressed, helping each other with soft caresses and kisses.
“When is your flight back?” Torryn asked as she straightened the collar on my shirt.
“This afternoon. I want to get back early enough to visit my mom. But I can take you home so you can get ready for Charlie.”
“Do you realize that I’m once again having to go home in the clothes I wore the night before.”
“The solution to that is to keep some of your clothes at my place.” I watched her face to see her reaction to my suggestion. Her gaze held mine, and I wondered if she thought I was just saying it or if I really meant it. I decided it was time to come clean. “This is real for me, Torryn. As real as it was six years ago. More even.”
She swallowed and tears welled in her eyes. I had no clue what that meant, and terror clawed at my gut.
She pressed a hand to my cheek. “I feel the same.”
Relief flooded my body, and yet, I didn’t understand the tears. “Why do you look like you’re going to cry?”
She hesitated a moment and then mustered a smile. “I’m not sure I deserve you.”
What the hell? “It’s the other way around, sweetheart. But I want to prove to you that this time I’ll stick around.”
She nodded. I pulled her close and held her. I hated that I had to let her go for now so she could finish her time with her parents and visit with Charlie. I’d have preferred to do that with her and fly home together.
“We’ll be okay, Torryn, I promise.”
She gave me that look again that I couldn’t quite decipher. But there was no time to ask about it because I needed to get her home.
Chapter 31
Torryn
I was sick and disgusted with myself. Except for the one little incident when Lucas got angry at my coming to visit my mother, he had been nothing but sweet and loving. He hadn’t said the words, but I felt so much love from him. And I loved him too, but I couldn’t seem to get past the fact that this all started by my wanting to destroy his heart.
He probably thought my tears were fear of him hurting me again. I really should have set the record straight, especially since I couldn’t seem to let the guilt go. But fear had me rethinking that. I was the only one that knew, except for Charlie and what were the odds she and Lucas would spend any amount of time together that my secret would be revealed? Besides, I’d already told her that my plan was off, so she had no reason to say anything, which she wouldn’t because she was my friend. So, in the end, I kept my secret shame to myself.
When he took me home, he asked if he could come in to thank my parents and say goodbye,
and again, I couldn’t believe how cruel I’d planned to be to this wonderful man.
“Yes, of course. They’ll love that.”
My mother’s brow quirked when I walked in from a night of lovemaking with Lucas, but she
quickly turned her attention to Lucas.
“I just wanted to thank you for having me,” Lucas said.
“Of course. Before you go, would you like to try some of the wine you brought me?”
It was ten in the morning, but apparently, neither my mother or Lucas thought that was
too early for expensive red wine.
“I would. Thank you.”
“While you lushes live it up, I’m going to change.” I shook my head in amusement at them, but deep down I was happy that they were getting along.
My mother and Lucas must have been living it up because I’d showered, dressed and
made it downstairs and they were still in the kitchen. Granted, I didn’t take that long, forgoing doing anything fancy with my hair and simply tying it up. I put on minimal makeup and wore simple jeans and a blouse.
Before I could check on them, the doorbell rang.
“Ready Freddy?” Charlie said when I opened the door for her.
“Lucas is still here having fancy wine with my mother. I want to wait until he’s done
so I can say goodbye.”
I led her to the parlor, where the night before Lucas had finger fucked me into
ecstasy.
“So, will it be goodbye for good finally?” Charlie made herself comfortable on one
of the leather couches.
“No. I know you don’t want to hear this, but I love him.” I sat in the floral wingback
chair my mother liked to sit in when she was in the room.
Charlie gave me a disgusted glare. “It’s not a matter of what I want to hear, Torryn.
It’s a matter of whether you can trust him.”
“I can trust him.” I was sure of it. “I know and accept why he left before. And we’re
not eighteen anymore. He’s settled into a job and life.”
“Right, you’re not eighteen. How do you know he’s not the same? It’s been what...a week?
How do you know you’re both not just reliving teenage memories?”
“Because we’re not!” I knew I sounded defensive, but I believed in him. It was me that I couldn’t bear.
“What about your work? The career you worked so hard to get? Will you put that aside for him?”
“I don’t have to. Besides, he wouldn’t ask me to.”
“Umm…what if you get married and have kids? Is he going to stay home with them?”
I hadn’t thought that far. But then again, I trusted that whatever our future brought, we’d make a plan that worked for both of us. “We’re going to do whatever we want.”
Charlie laughed. “And what if you want different things?”
“Why are you so against me being with him?”
Charlie leaned forward. “Because he hurt you, Torryn. I was there. I saw how broken you were. Who’s to say that whatever reason he left in the first place doesn’t happen again? Maybe you understand and accept it now, but will you be okay with it if it happens again?”
I swallowed because I supposed that was a real fear. He wasn’t in the military anymore, but maybe they’d come back and make him leave again. Except he wasn’t hacking illegally anymore. At least I didn’t think so.
I shook my head of the doubt Charlie was trying to put in it. “I love him.”
She sat back and lifted her hands in a surrender position. “Okay. It’s your life. But last week, you were singing a way different tune. Did you forget?”
I shook my head. How could I forget? The guilt was burning an ulcer into my stomach. “I haven’t forgotten my plan to make him love me and then crush his heart.” The anger that had been there a week ago, was replaced by all the guilt and self-loathing of hatching such a plan.
“Is that true?” Lucas’ voice echoed through the room behind me.
In an instant, dread shot through me and I bolted up to a stand. “Lucas.”
He looked to me and then Charlie, before returning his attention back to me. “Is it true?” His voice was deadly calm, but I saw the pain in his eyes.
I wanted to deny it, but if we had any chance, I had to be honest. “Lucas, let me explain—”
“It’s a simple yes or no. If you have to explain, then the answer is yes.” His face contorted as if he was trying to hold back emotion. He pressed the heels of his palms into his eye sockets.
“Lucas, please.” I moved toward him in desperation, but he backed away from me.
When he brought his hands down, I saw the tears in his eyes and I hated myself
for putting them there.
Oh, God. “That’s not how I feel—”
“I’d expect that from you, Charlie.”
She simply smirked at him.
“But not you, Torryn.” He looked away, and again, I got the feeling he was trying to keep his emotions in check. Finally, he brought his hard anger-filled gaze back to me. “I should have known. I should have listened to my instincts. It was so strange you never expressed anger about what had happened.”
“Oh, she was angry alright.”
“Charlie, stay out of this.” God, I didn’t need her making this worse than it was. It was already a total and complete shit-storm.
“I should have known when you didn’t even ask what had happened six years ago. No, you just acted all friendly.” His eyes darkened even more. “You fucked me that first night. Was that part of the plan too, Torryn? Every time we fucked, were you using your body to get back at me?”
I wanted to slap him for what he was suggesting except he wasn’t completely wrong. I thought I was going to be sick, the self-loathing was beyond my ability to cope. I shook my head vehemently. “No, Lucas. No.”
“Hey, you son-of-a—” Charlie launched herself from the couch toward Lucas.
He didn’t flinch. His arm shot out with his finger pointed at Charlie. It was the first time I ever saw Charlie stop short and look surprised. But she gathered her attitude quickly. “I’ll kick your ass.”
“I don’t care. You think you can hurt me more than Torryn?”
She moved toward him, but he cocked his head, his eyes deadly as they waited for what Charlie would do.
“Don’t even.” His tone was laced with a darkness I’d never heard from him.
It took a moment, but Charlie backed off.
Then he turned to me. “Congratulations, Torryn. You succeeded. You made me love you and now have crushed my heart. Well done.”
“Lucas.” Why couldn’t I find better words to make him understand? I reached out to him, but he pulled away.
He stared at me as if he couldn’t quite believe what I’d done. Well, that made two of us.
