by D. L. Line
“Nah, she’s a good agent. Very organized and totally by-the-book. She’s only a head case ’cause she killed a perp six months ago and got the willies about it. I have some reason to suspect that she was, and still is for that matter, screwing the perp’s target. That would go a long way toward explaining her problem. I can use the fact that said target happens to be female also. Agent McKinnon won’t give us any problems.”
“And her partner?”
“Same thing...no problem. He’ll do anything for her, and that includes chasing all over hell’s half acre, following a crazy bitch on a motorcycle. Plus, I have just as much reason to suspect that he has a weak spot for the college-aged boys in Dupont Circle, and I can use that if I need to. We’re all good here, Skip.”
Skip smiled and pushed his empty salad plate to the side. “I hope so, Bulldog. Are you sure you’re still working for the FBI, or have you taken a job with the Village People?”
McNally made a similar move, pushing his salad plate to the side, making room for the steak now being presented by the waiter. “Easy there, Skip. There may be some confusion between the two of them about who’s supposed to be screwing whom, but they’re top-notch agents. I don’t really care who they fuck as long as the job gets done.”
“That’s very open-minded, Bulldog. Good for you. I suppose next you’re going to tell me that you vote Democratic and drive a hybrid vehicle.”
McNally glared. “I wouldn’t go that far.” Both men laughed companionably as they dug into their steaks. “Definitely not that far.”
Skip ate in silence, savoring the perfectly prepared T-bone. Pulling Bulldog out of a rock quarry thirty-five years ago, unconscious and half-drowned was still the smartest thing he’d ever done in his life. Having an FBI supervisor with a debt to pay in your back pocket was a good thing. Skip raised his glass of wine to McNally, who returned the gesture warmly.
It was a very good thing indeed.
Chapter Eleven
Terri sat in the office biting her nails and waiting for the therapist. She was far too nervous to even attempt the magazine thing. She was so tired of this place with its softly colored walls, ergonomically correct furniture, and soothing lighting. It was as if everyone who walked through the door was somehow dangerous and in need of calming. Terri glanced at the receptionist and noted a look on the woman’s face. Annoyance, perhaps, with a tinge of sympathy. It didn’t take long to figure out the receptionist’s problem, as Terri ran the laundry list of her own jittery behaviors. Biting her nails, shifting in her seat, crossing and recrossing one leg then the other, and wiggling her foot like a little kid in need of a potty break. She planted both feet firmly on the floor and took a deep breath to collect herself.
Terri, slow down. It’s going to work this time. You’ve talked to everyone. You know what you need to know about Jen, and it was a long time ago. You talked to Bobby; even told him about—Oh, shit! You told him about the stuff in the nightstand. That was stupid. Oh, well, it’s done now. And you didn’t tell him about all of it. That’s good. Easy, Terri. You need to play this cool. Maybe...
Terri almost leapt from her chair, offering a quiet “Sorry” to the startled receptionist, as she crossed the small waiting area to look out the window. The fifth floor offered a spectacular view across Pennsylvania Avenue. Much better than the view out her own second-story window that faced the opposite direction, offering only an obstructed view of the buildings housing the Department of Agriculture and the Department of Energy. She realized suddenly that she’d lived in the DC area for close to ten years and had never been to visit the Jefferson Memorial. That had to be rectified.
Tomorrow, Terri. Do it tomorrow. It’s Saturday, the weather is supposed to be nice, the leaves are changing. Pack up a picnic, grab Jen, and go. You need the break, she needs the break. Why not? Or, hey, screw the picnic and just go. Was that the phone? Go somewhere nice for lunch, walk around the Memorial, make out behind a tree—
“Agent McKinnon?”
Terri turned, pulling her attention out from behind the tree in her head, and redirected it toward the receptionist. “Yes?”
“She’s ready to see you now.”
Terri answered with a soft “thank you” and made a beeline for the office door, her hand coming to rest on the doorknob long enough to steel herself for the therapist.
You can do this, Terri. You can have everything back, and all it’s going to cost is the right answers. This time...
She pushed the door open, maybe a little too hard, and stepped into the office.
*
Fifty-two minutes later, Agent McKinnon was back. She fought the urge to run, screaming for joy, into the hallway and back toward the office. Instead, she stopped long enough to thank the receptionist and dig her phone out of her pocket. Calling Jen had been the original plan, but she decided that the surprise would be better, and Jen was in class all afternoon anyway. She called Bobby instead, who answered on the first ring.
“Terri, how’d it go?”
“Well, if you’re still driving out to the range today, I need a ride. I have to requalify.” Terri yanked the phone away from her ear at Bobby’s whoop of joy. Terri could see the scene in her head as she imagined Bobby ducking in embarrassment at his own noisy response.
“Aw, shit, Terri. That’s so cool! I knew you’d kick this thing’s ass.”
Terri was thrilled beyond all reason, but she let Bobby keep going. She knew him well enough to be certain that she wouldn’t be able to get a word in edgewise anyway.
“C’mon, kiddo. Hurry back. I’ll buy us lunch to celebrate on the way out to the range.”
“Five minutes. I am still in the building after all.” It didn’t take long before she was in the stairwell at the opposite end of the hallway, running back down toward the office. Terri was barely through the door leading back to the second floor before she found Bobby, who promptly swept her up in one of his patented bear hugs, easily removing both of her feet from the floor. While she admired and welcomed his enthusiasm, Terri needed him to stop.
“Bobby... air....”
He quickly set her down, but kept his hands on her shoulders, holding her attention. “See, I told you so. Now, tell me all about it. What did she say? What did you say?”
“I’ll tell you everything. I promise, but not here. Let’s go change and get out of here. I have a pressing need to be outside and away from this concrete monstrosity today.”
“Good idea, Agent McKinnon.” He offered a conspiratorial wink. “Besides, McNally’s out for the day. We don’t have to come back.” Bobby turned and started toward the elevator, but Terri stopped him by grabbing a sleeve of his jacket.
“Stairs are quicker.”
Twenty minutes later, Terri was out of her suit and into cargo pants and a sweatshirt, Bobby in similar attire. She waited patiently in the parking garage, watching and grinning while Bobby took the convertible top down on his Firebird. He opened the passenger side door of the car, urging her in, as he ran around the back of the car, slamming the trunk on the way. Terri laughed, noting inwardly that it was her first real laugh for months, as Bobby vaulted over his own door and landed hard in his seat. She slid on her sunglasses as he did the same, pointed toward the exit of the garage, and said, “That way. Let’s go blow stuff up.” Bobby gunned the engine, and peeled out.
After a short stop for sandwiches and drinks, Bobby’s treat as promised, Terri sat at the firing range, lounging on the hood of the car, sandwich eaten, leaning against the windshield in the autumn sunshine. Bobby was noisily finishing his lunch, attempting to get the details of Terri’s visit to the therapist.
“So what did you finally tell her to get reinstated?”
Terri stretched the last kink out of her back and returned to her best snake-on-a-rock pose. “I just told her what she wanted to hear. I’ll be a good agent, I’ll think everything through, and even if you or Jen has a gun up your nose, I’ll stop to call for backup.” She turned and noted the
puzzled look on his face. “What?”
“Is that really what you said?”
“Yep, that’s what she wanted to hear, so that’s what I told her.”
“So, in other words, you lied to her?”
“I prefer to think of it as a creative interpretation of the truth in order to get what I wanted.”
“And you’re just okay with that?”
Terri could only huff lightly and try to defend her choice. “Bobby, what choice did I have? I told her the nightmares were gone too.”
“Are they gone? The nightmares, that is.”
She shrugged. “Pretty much. I hope. It’s been almost a week since the last one. I’ve talked to you and Jen about it since then. Maybe that did the trick.”
Bobby grabbed a napkin out of the brown paper bag that had once contained their lunch. “Terri, I want to believe you, but I’m not sure that was the right thing to do. I mean, I’ve seen some things out of you in the last six months that I never thought I’d ever see from you, and now you’re lying to the therapist—”
“Bobby, I need—”
She stopped as he held up a hand to interrupt. “Terri, I know what you need, as well as what you thought you had to do to get it, but I’m still worried that this wasn’t the right decision.”
Terri fought against her own exasperation to answer his concerns as he defiantly crossed his arms over his chest. “But what was I supposed to do? This has gone on long enough and the only way I can prove to anyone, including myself, that I’m fit for duty is to get back to work and show everyone that I’m okay. You certainly get that, don’t you?”
“Yeah, I do. I’m just worried about you, that’s all. You get that, right?”
“Yeah, I do get that, and I appreciate that you worry about me, but it’s kind of tough to slay the dragons if they lock you out of the castle and take away your sword.”
“Maybe you’re right. I sure hope that you’re right. Getting back to work will probably do more for you than all the therapy appointments you’ve had to sit through in the last six months.”
“Bobby, I can promise you that this will all work out.” Terri approached him and reached out to offer him a reassuring squeeze to the forearm. “Besides, if it doesn’t, you can be the first in line to kick me in the ass. Okay?”
Terri released his arm to walk over and retrieve her weapon from the car. She started to walk to the range, sliding her gun into the holster at the small of her back, which forced Bobby to run in order to catch up. After a quick stop with the agent in charge to sign in and check out ammunition, Terri headed straight for the stationary target zone. Bobby joined her at a table while she loaded three clips for her weapon, sliding one into her P-228 with an audible click, and thumbed the hammer release. Bobby did the same while she put on her protective earmuffs and stepped forward to shoot.
Since target practice conversation was basically impossible, Terri shot her required sixty rounds, scoring an impressive ninety-two percent, well above the eighty percent required to qualify. Bobby, mature as usual, stuck his tongue out as he showed her his ninety-four percent score. Laughing, she waved him off. “I haven’t been out here for six months. Next time, pal.”
“Want to check out a shotgun? You could use the practice.”
“Sure. Jen’s got class until four. Let’s do it.” As she returned to the agent in charge to log her qualification, Terri mused, thinking how good it felt to be back. The weapon felt good, felt right in her hands. She was back in control, just the way she liked it.
Shotgun practice went much the same, conversation limited by circumstance. Bobby stopped her with a light tap to the shoulder. “Go ahead, do the thing. I know you want to.”
Terri shifted the shotgun to her left hand and chambered her last round with a smooth, one-handed maneuver. Bobby threw his head back, howling, and said, “God, if Jen could just see you now. That little move would get you so laid.”
Terri answered with a knowing smirk. “You think?”
Terri fired off her last round and checked her watch. She pulled off her earmuffs. “Speaking of which, how about we get out of here? I think I want to be home soon.”
He answered with a knowing smirk of his own. “Anything you want, Agent McKinnon.”
*
The ride back into town from Quantico was companionable, but could never have been described as silent. Terri sat back with her eyes closed, basking in the sun and wind as Bobby cranked the radio and sang along, loudly. She enjoyed his slightly off-key rendition of some old dance song that she didn’t remember, silently wishing that something would come on for her to sing along with as well. That would have been nice.
As they hit the downtown section of DC, Bobby turned down the volume on the radio, which pulled Terri from her reverie. “Terri, are you asleep? You’re awfully quiet.”
“Just enjoying the day. It feels good to have that monkey off my back,” Terri answered quietly, as she let her hand drift out the window to hang glide in the draft.
“I bet you are.” Bobby directed his attention fully on the road. “I’d ask if you wanted to go out later, but I’d imagine you have plans.”
“What kind of plans do you think I have?”
Bobby nearly spit, “Oh, please, girl. You are officially reinstated, you’ve been to the range, and you reek of gunpowder. Do you honestly think that Jen is going to let you out of the house tonight?”
Terri started to come back with a smart-assed quip, but stopped as full realization hit. “Well...umm...no.”
“There you go.” Bobby rounded the corner, pulling up in front of Terri’s townhouse. “And here you go. Home at last.”
Terri pulled the door open while Bobby shut off the car, and removed the keys to open the trunk for her. Jen’s 4Runner was already parked in the driveway, a fact that caused Terri to blush, provoking another barrage of comments from Bobby.
“Jeez, Terri. You only need to see the car and you start to change colors. Give it up, kid. I know you too well. I’ll call you tomorrow.”
She ducked her head into the trunk, grabbed her bag and suit, and wished her face didn’t always betray her. Acceptance was the only option, so she hiked her computer bag onto her shoulder, accepted one last congratulatory hug from Bobby, slung her suit over her arm, and said good-bye. She watched as Bobby hopped back into the car, started it up, and pulled away in another squeal of tires.
Chapter Twelve
Jen squeezed her eyes closed, steeling herself against the images crawling through her brain. How could she let something like this happen? Her anxiety level began to climb as she realized the full depth of her problem.
Rosenberg, remember to breathe.
She did just that, inhaling deeply through her flared nostrils as she struggled against the barrage of sensations coursing through her addled brain. Any attempts to move or struggle were futile. The cold steel of the handcuffs biting into her wrists served as ample reminder of her plight. If that wasn’t enough evidence for the brilliant college professor, the strong hand in the middle of her back, holding her down, served nicely as People’s Exhibit Number Two. Jen tried in vain to look behind her to see what was going on, but that only served to raise the ire of the officer in charge, whose soft voice provided a sharp contrast to the strength being used to maintain control.
“Dr. Rosenberg, if you’d just hold still and cooperate...”
She didn’t. Jen’s continued attempts to free herself only made it worse as the hand on her back applied just enough pressure to make it clear that escape was not going to be possible. She finally relaxed a little, more out of a sense of resignation than any desire to “hold still and cooperate.” She heard the soft voice in her ear once again.
“There you go. That’s better. This doesn’t have to be difficult now, does it?”
Jen shook her head, choosing to remain silent rather than to allow her voice to betray exactly how nervous she was. It really didn’t need to be difficult. It was just a release of contr
ol, a demonstration of trust, but one that she was having a little trouble with. She took another deep breath to calm herself as the thought passed through her head that this was exactly the position she’d imagined herself in. Actually, she’d seen herself in this position before, plenty of times, just never outside her own head. Her thoughts drifted back as she took stock of the events that led to her current predicament.
“Are you sure, sweetie?”
“Yes, Terri, I want you to do this. I really do.”
Looking for something in Terri’s soft blue eyes, Jen saw exactly what she was searching for. Support, more than a little arousal, and most importantly, unconditional love and trust. She could do this. Hell, she wanted this as badly as she’d ever wanted anything in her life. Steeling her resolve, Jen smiled at Terri, who offered her one last chance to back out.
“Because, if you’re not sure, I don’t—”
“No, baby, I’m completely sure. Just a little nervous. You know?”
Terri smiled, once again reminding Jen exactly why she was so smitten and eager to try something like this.
“Sweetie, I’d be a little worried if you weren’t nervous. I know we kid around about this a lot, but it’s a big step. It takes a lot of trust.”
Jen turned from her seat on the edge of the bed and took both of Terri’s hands in her own. “I trust you.”
“I know, but this is a lot. Do you think you need a safe word?”
Jen was puzzled. “Safe word? That seems a little extreme. But if you think that...I mean, I didn’t know, you know? Well, maybe you don’t, but I thought...I don’t know what I thought. It’s just, I hadn’t...well, not that I hadn’t, but kind of just...”
“Jen, breathe.”
“Right. Breathing now.” She hadn’t thought that far into it before, but, as usual, Terri was right. “Mainframe.”
Terri chewed lightly on her lower lip. “Mainframe. That makes sense.”
