He offers me a fleeting smile, but a smile, nonetheless, before exiting the room. Dropping the pen I’m still holding, I sag against the table. “Jesus.” I rub my hand over my heart. I feel like I just relived my nightmares. Only I’m awake.
“I now have a better understanding of what your life was like during high school. Is that what you felt like?” My head snaps up to see Ry in the doorway. His face is somber. Intuitively, I know he must have overheard my conversation with Max.
Part of me feels like a private moment was violated, but another part of me wants him to understand how deep my scars run. “Yes.”
He slowly approaches until he’s a few feet away. I can’t read the expression on his face. “Then, to be honest, I’d have wanted much more than to shove your success down our damn throats. I’d have wanted to slice them instead.”
He closes the distance between us before reaching for my hand while I try to pick up my jaw from the floor as I try to process what he said.
Chapter 21
Kelsey
“Let me apologize,” he rasps.
I try to turn from him, but he won’t let me. I manage to tug my hand away and wrap my arms around myself protectively. My eyes close instead as a barrier of protection as conflicting emotions play tug-o’-war with my heart. “This seems like a conversation we’ve had before. It didn’t turn out very well.” Glancing at him beneath my lashes, my lips twist cruelly. “After all, I’m not much better than the people—”
“Don’t,” he interrupts. “Please,” he begs. “I’m so sorry for what I did—then and now. There are reasons, and you deserve to know what they are.”
I hold firm as he steps closer, my arms still wrapped around my body to ward off the blows I’m sure are to come. I brace internally as Ry begins to speak.
“I have wronged you in so many ways, it’s laughable to ask you to give me another chance. But I am. I need to be able to explain why. You deserve to understand why.”
“What you don’t know is I’m tired of fighting you, of fighting myself. I’m so tired of being wounded over and over when I try to live normally. It’s just easier to live behind my barricade. But you? For some reason, my defenses are weaker when it comes to you,” I admit. Ignoring the flare of his eyes, I go on. “I can’t see the point of subjecting myself to the same repetitive cycle of being damaged again by a hurt I didn’t invite or earn. Is it always going to be like this, Ry?”
He’s already shaking his head before I’m through speaking.
“It won’t. I promise.”
I study him silently, searching for some indicator this isn’t another opportunity for him to knock me off my feet again. Instead, I find the same signs of restless nights I’ve been suffering that I, at least, was able to cover up with makeup: dark circles under his eyes, a paleness to his skin, a tightness around his mouth. Combined with the amount he’s tried to reach me in the last two weeks, I weaken.
And besides, he’s right. I deserve to know why so I can put my past behind me where it belongs. And that may include him.
“One chance. And we’ll talk about the past and why you hurt me, or you can walk out that door right now.”
I don’t get the rest of my sentence out before Ry has stepped into my space. His fingers are gripping my face. “The way I feel about you has kept me up more than my fair share of nights. And not just in the last few weeks,” he starts.
But I remain firm despite the part of me that wants to capitulate to the young girl begging me to throw myself in his arms. “This is your last chance,” I warn him. “I explained why I hid in Savannah. You’ll talk to me about what happened to ruin what I thought was our friendship, or I’m walking away for good. I don’t need to restart what I managed to leave behind.” I wrench myself away and move back to the window overlooking the courtyard.
“And what was that? What did you leave behind, Kelsey?”
“So much pain, it’s a wonder I couldn’t fly when the burden was lifted.” The words are spoken softly but are filled with so much emotion.
I feel him come up behind me. “I can’t promise we won’t feel pain, even if we fight,” he cautions.
Spinning around, I agree. “There’s fighting, and there’s being cruel. What you said…”
“Was my inability to deal with what happened back then. Once we talk it out, I hope you’ll understand.” His voice is sad in a way I’ve only heard when I’ve talked about the past.
I cock my head to the side, trying to read him. He shakes his head. “It isn’t for here.”
“Okay? Then when?” I demand.
Pushing a strand of hair back, he says, “Start again with me. Get to know me now. Then when you feel like maybe you trust the man I am and I know the woman you’ve become, we’ll lay it all out.”
I give it careful thought before nodding. A relieved expression crosses his handsome face. I ask cautiously, “What does this mean, getting to know each other?”
“I don’t want to go anywhere. I want to make plans, but I actually have to go back to work before Eli decides to fire me.” His eyes search mine with concern that I’ll be upset we’re not racing out the door into the sunset on a white steed. The reality is, I can use the time to get my head on straight.
I decide to lighten the mood. “I’ve met your boss. Somehow, I get the feeling he’s got this romantic streak in him.”
“For his wife, maybe. Normally, he’s just barking orders at the rest of us.” Ry’s humor washes over me even as I begin gathering my purse. He comes to stand next to me. “He doesn’t take me for drinks anymore. We only spend time together at the office. It’s like I’m his dirty little secret.” Ry lets out a long-suffering sigh.
“I’d have to argue that, Counselor. I do believe he took you shoe shopping. And you weren’t even looking your best at the time. It was so romantic. All one of you needed were roses and you would have been a whole new take on Pretty Woman.” I burst into laughter at the dumbfounded look on his face.
I’m too busy trying to regain my composure to realize Ry’s tugged me into his arms. By the time I do, I gasp. “Just for that, I’m never going to bring you roses,” he teases.
“That’s okay. I prefer daisies,” I say automatically.
“Pink ones, if I remember correctly,” he murmurs, alluding to the fact he’s already seen me naked. Damn.
“No. No bringing up that night,” I warn him, forcing myself to slide out of the warmth of his arms. “Go, do what it is you do at work.” I point to the door.
The corner of one side of his mouth lifts before he backs away. I let out a breath I didn’t even realize I’d been partially holding when he turns around. What scares me is when he says, “Isn’t it difficult protecting such a soft heart?”
I square my shoulders. “I’m strong enough.” I refuse to admit he’s right.
He nods. “I don’t doubt it. I was just thinking after all this time, maybe you might want some help.”
“If I find someone worthy of it, I’d hope they’d hand me theirs and they’d have mine. So, I’d still be carrying the burden of a heart, just not my own,” I say honestly.
What crosses over his face makes me glad we’re going to have this time getting to know each other. Because at that moment, I see pain, hatred, and anger mixed with love, passion, and hope.
What happened to you, Ry? I want to probe. But I hold it in. Instead, I ask, “So, I suppose I should answer one of your many texts?”
He whips out his phone. His fingers fly before I hear a ping in my purse. “Answer that one. I’ll talk to you later. I have to head back to work.” With a wink, he leaves me standing in the common room of Le Cadeau, wondering if I’m a fool for jumping on the spinning wheel again. Reaching into my bag, I pull out my phone.
There’s a text waiting from Ry. Unlocking my phone, I open it.
All it says is, Meet me at Cafe Du Monde tomorrow morning at 7:30. I’ll buy the beignets.
Part of me wonders if I am a fool because I
respond with, You’ll buy the iced coffee, too.
Within seconds I get a single word back: Deal.
For just a second, I’m taken back to when Ry would ask if there was anything he could bring me when I’d be tutoring him. “A soda? A coffee? A bottle of water? We talked for over an hour, Kelsey, you have to get thirsty,” he protested.
“I don’t need you to buy things for me, Ry,” I told him.
“Then consider this something I want to do. Friends do nice things for one another. Now tell me what you want to drink?”
I told him water because I figured this way no one would realize the drink would be for me if he were seen with it.
What happened between the boy who wanted to nurture me that I fell for and… I don’t even let myself think of it knowing I’ll back out of coffee if I do. And for whatever it’s worth, Ry’s right. I need to trust him enough to talk honestly about my questions about the past.
And to believe his answers when he gives them to me.
Eventually.
When the time is right.
Because I want to get to know the man a little more before I determine if I’m going to hold him accountable for the acts of the boy.
Chapter 22
Rierson
A week later, I’m feeling a rush flow through my veins. It’s different than the one I feel when I’m with Kelsey; it’s just as powerful but in a completely different way. “If you’ll initial here, here, and sign here, Mr. Larruscain,” I ask politely, while inside, I’m running around the boardroom table with my hands raised above my head in sheer ecstasy. The hawklike features of the chairman and CEO of the company we’ve been brokering the deal with over the last several years breaks into a smile before he picks up the pen next to him. Murmuring in Spanish, he scratches his initials where I had my paralegal flag and scrawls his name with a flourish.
It’s done.
I wait for the small stack of final contracts to be passed to me and lay them facedown in the folder marked TO BE FILED. Standing, I hold out a hand. “Congratulations, sir. This is an exciting time for you.”
“Yes. It will leave me much more time for family.” He clasps my hand, laying a wrinkled but still firm one on top of it. This is a man who stood at the helm of a superior company for over forty years. He made the best decision for the company’s immediate future while setting them up for long-term success. I accept his unspoken thanks for the work I did to help this deal to close.
I turn and shake Beau, Van, and Eli’s hands as well. “Congratulations to all of you as well. I see extraordinary things for the future.”
“An excellent job, Ry,” Beau compliments.
I shake my head. “It was a team effort, as always, Beau. It always is.” Eli’s moved to shake the hands of the Larruscain team and quietly speaking to them on one side of the room.
“And that’s why the entire team is being invited to a party to celebrate tonight,” Van slips in smoothly. “Spouses and significant others are welcome.” Her eyes are shadowed even though there’s a bright smile on her face.
God, whatever happened to put that look in Van’s pretty eyes makes me want to join the brothers in their daily Krav Maga classes. “I’ll be sure to pass that along,” I assure her.
Eli, having just finished talking with the members of the Larruscain team, joins us. “Did we reserve the entire courtyard at Cafe Amelie?”
Van nods. Eli says, “Excellent. I invited Bastien and his team to join us as well.”
Van agrees, “Of course. I had planned on inviting them when you were finished speaking with them.”
Then Eli turns an innocent smile at me. “You should invite Kelsey, Ry. I’m sure she’d love to get to know your coworkers.”
“You’re an ass,” I retort immediately. It’s not that I don’t want Kelsey by my side, but the party tonight might be taking a step she’s not ready for. Even though we’ve had breakfast or lunch every day since we were at the center last week, we’re slowly getting to know one another. We’ve caught up on big things and little things that have had no importance. I talked to her about how I met Eli in college, thereby starting a friendship that led to a job opportunity I couldn’t pass up. I had her howling when she found out I not only short-sheeted Cade’s bed in college, I replaced his can of shaving cream with spray hair dye right before a formal ring ceremony.
“How did he retaliate?” she asked, as if there was no question. Which there wasn’t.
“Let’s just say my head was never quite so smooth for our next swim meet,” I admit on a laugh.
Kelsey laughed as she sipped her iced coffee.
As for me, I’ve learned Kelsey still has a passion for Hemingway, and she loves modern poets. “They have a perspective of humanity that is unparalleled and isn’t biased by anything.” She also has “an unhealthy obsession for shoes, Ry. Really. I could live in sweats, but I need shoes like some people need food. Or water.” Frowning thoughtfully, she tacked on, “Maybe air.”
“No wonder why you and Charly hit it off.” I grinned, taking a drink of my club soda.
She scooped up a small bite of food before shrugging. But there was a light in her eye I hadn’t seen since we used to argue about the merits of whether or not there was such a thing as too many adjectives to describe a noun in a sentence.
It was just dumb luck Eli and Kate showed up while we were enjoying jambalaya during lunch yesterday. Kelsey happened to be shoving her bowl under my chin to catch my lunch from landing on my shirt. “You tend to wear too much food, Counselor,” she teased me right before her beautiful gray eyes got enormous in her face. “Um, hello,” she said, her voice uncertain.
And there was Eli. Kate, I didn’t mind so much. Shoving us over, they ordered a couple of bowls of jambalaya for themselves. I kept giving Eli killer looks for crashing my date. Unfortunately, I couldn’t do the same to Kate, who got along with Kelsey like they were long-lost best friends.
“Hold on—” Beau lifts his hand. “Ry’s dating someone and you didn’t say anything?” He immediately punches his brother in the shoulder. I feel infinitesimally better until Van snaps, “Can the two of you behave? We’re in the middle of a business meeting.”
Chastised, we all look at her, abashed. “You really should invite her, Ry. She’ll enjoy seeing Kate again,” Eli encourages.
Suddenly, I’m the one who’s rubbing my arm. I glare at Van. “What was that for?”
“That’s for Kate getting to meet someone you’re dating and I haven’t.”
“Charly’s met her too,” Eli adds helpfully.
Van bares her teeth. I’d be pissed as hell at Eli except it’s such a better look than the broken one she had on her face a few moments ago. “Has Gabby met her too? Mama? Jesus, cher, the answer to that better be a quick no.”
“That’s because it is no.” I shoot Eli a fulminating look. “Listen, I’ll call her. I’m not putting any pressure on her though.”
He nods. “Fair enough. I think you’re going to be pleasantly surprised.”
I’d love it if I were. Giving my bosses a quick grin, I grab the files so I can head back to my office. “It was a good day.”
“No, it was an excellent one,” Beau corrects. He rubs his hands together. “Now, go find out about your woman, and let’s celebrate.”
I only wish I could call Kelsey my woman, I think glumly. As I make my way back to my office, I stop by my senior paralegal’s desk and hand him the files. “Great job. There’s going to be an invitation from the bosses…”
“It’s already in our inbox.” Vince grins. “I, for one, am not above drinking martinis on the company dime.”
I laugh. “Why does this not surprise me?” I slap him on the shoulder. “Thanks for all your hard work.”
“My pleasure, boss. Let me get these filed, then do you mind…”
I shake my head, laughing. “Go. Head on over to the party as soon as those are scanned, emailed off, and filed.”
Vince scrambles to begin
organizing the piles of documents. I know before I step foot out of the office, all of the principals will have an electronic copy of the contracts in their inbox. It’s what makes him utterly invaluable to Bayou and me.
Entering the sanctity of my office, I pull my cell out of my jacket pocket. Flicking the switch on the side to turn it off Silent, I unlock it to see a text from Kelsey.
Darin and Angel are going out for a date night tonight. I know today’s been a long one for you? Want me to cook dinner?
My heart is pounding in my chest. Earlier in the week, Kelsey told me all about her plans to buy a home. Laughingly while enjoying a mouthful of shrimp, she explained, “I love the time I get to spend with Angel and Darin until the baby’s born, but soon, they’re going to need the space I’m taking up.”
Taking a sip of my drink, I asked, “It’s not crazy with three adults living there?”
“Nope. Angel and I lived together our senior year off campus. With the amount of time Darin spent there, it was like having a third roommate.” She snickered. “There were ballplayers in and out of our place constantly. Swear to God, I remember telling Darin I wasn’t feeding a basketball team.” Her head cocked to the side. “What’s that look on your face?”
I tried for a look of innocence. “What look?”
“That look that is a cross of remorse and annoyance.”
I reached across the table for her hand. “Likely my regret that I didn’t get to spend that time with you. And irrational jealousy that some no-name ballplayer’s been lucky enough to have you cook for him and I haven’t,” I tease.
Kelsey opened and closed her mouth. My eyes narrowed. “What?”
“Well, one of them wasn’t quite so no-name,” she hedged. Naming a former NBA star-turned-coach among the guys who are tight with Darin, she shrugs at my amazement. “Basketball was a big thing at Pepperdine,” she reminded me before tacking on, “You should have seen us line up to get student tickets. We’d camp out overnight during playoffs. Some people would even bring their couches down from their dorm rooms!”
Easy Reunion Page 14
