Again, at the nickname, Cade chokes on his drink.
Zach offers him a wide smile before straightening. “Since your companion seems to have difficulty with water, why don’t we get him something else to drink. Sir? Something from the bar?”
“Bourbon,” Cade declares immediately. Turning to Lisa, he gives her a pleading look. “Please tell me you’ll drive home.”
“Boy, are you going to owe me,” she mutters. “I’ll take a glass of pinot.”
“The same for me,” I tack on, knowing instinctively Ry’s going to go drink for drink with Cade.
He searches my eyes. I touch his leg and smile. “You can’t let him suffer your sister alone,” I tell him teasingly.
Without losing my gaze, he orders, “Bourbon for me as well.” Then he leans down and says, “In case I forget to tell you later, you give good girlfriend.”
Brushing my nose against his, I say honestly, “I’m just following my guy’s example. It makes it easy.”
Slinging his arm around my chair, Ry proves immediately why he’s been friends with Cade for years when he asks, “So, who did you piss off at the hospital? I’m assuming they’re the ones who recommended we bring our girlfriends to a drag show for a date?”
Soon, all four of us are having a blast. Magnolia sends over an exceptional dancer to entertain Lisa and me during the show. Ry and Cade relax enough to join us when we pose for pictures with the ladies later.
“That was so much fun,” I tell Ry as I drive us home afterward. “I’m even more amazed now by the transformation Raul goes through for his performances! I mean, I’ve seen photos, but seeing it live is completely different. You’d never know without his stage makeup; he’s practically Carlos’s twin!”
Ry’s hand is resting warmly on my thigh. He squeezes it. “You’re the amazing one.” His voice is contemplative.
Pulling up to the gate protecting the back of the house, I glance over at him. The expression is filled with tenderness. I face forward as I drive his Mercedes through the gate. “What do you mean?” After pulling into the garage, I put the car in park, turn it off, and face him.
He runs his hand through my hair lazily. “Sweetheart, everywhere we go, people are grateful to get to meet you because of the way you’ve influenced their lives. And as horrific as it was, it’s because you relate to them here.” He lays his hand gently over my heart. “I don’t know if you can see how you make people stronger, braver, by having broken your silence.”
I shake my head wordlessly, unable to reconcile something as simple as being humble and human with what Ry’s saying.
“You celebrate the victories of the survivors, my love.” I inhale sharply at the term of endearment. I’m afraid to say anything lest I break the spell Ry’s under. “You give people courage, power, strength to do what should come naturally but may not. Through here—” He touches my head. “—from here—” His fingers graze my heart again. “—using these.” He grips my hands. “And even if you don’t feel the same way, loving you is the best thing that will ever happen to me.” He leans in and his lips brush mine gently.
“It wasn’t supposed to happen here.” The tears clogging my voice make it almost impossible to understand.
“Huh?” He pulls back so he can smile down at me. “I didn’t think there was a wrong place to…”
I smush my fingers over his mouth and jump out of the car. Ry gets out of the passenger side to find me walking toward the brick patio at a fast clip.
Spinning around, I face him. “Love is supposed to be patient and kind; I’ve found it to be neither of those things.” His face clouds over. Stepping into his space, I slide my arms around his neck and pull my body close. “Not when it’s real.”
He swallows audibly. Sliding his arms around me, he nods. “Go on.”
“If it’s real, it’s messy and demanding. It’s about learning the person every single day—what makes them happy or what irritates them. It’s full of pain and tragedy because you can’t imagine a day without that person.” I inhale so loud I think I’m going to pass out when I admit, “And that’s why I think the crush I had morphed into love. Because it might have taken all these years for us to reunite, but finally, I understand it’s not about me being perfect or you being that way; it’s about our imperfections being right for each other.” Taking a deep breath, I open my mouth, but Ry lays his finger on my lips, stopping me.
“I love you, Kelsey,” Ry murmurs as he lowers his head. “I’ve felt this way for so long, I can’t imagine a day in my life where I won’t.”
“I love you too,” I whisper, my lips grazing his.
Then I can’t say any more because, under the three-quarter moon, I’m being kissed by a man who has part of me.
And this time, I trust he’ll treat it with the care it deserves.
Chapter 33
Kelsey
Everything feels right, I muse as I climb the steps to Le Cadeau. With a dreamy smile, I wander down the hall toward the raucous noises coming from the basketball court. For the last few days, I feel like the corner Ry and I turned has flowed into every area of my life. I’m already chapters into my next book, and Pilar’s showing the strength the title indicates after a summer apart from the bullying. The understanding Ry gave to me about his actions so long ago have removed this enormous burden of resentment and pain I didn’t realize I was carrying, and it’s not only changing my life, but hers as well.
Even Angel commented on it the other morning. “This is the you I always prayed you could be,” she said, right before she burst into tears.
“Stop crying,” I demanded.
“I can’t,” she blubbered into her smoothie. “I just hate it’s taken so long for your sparkle to appear.”
I reached over and wrapped my arms around her. “I’d lost myself completely until I met you,” I told her honestly. “If Ry’s brought something else into my life, well, maybe it was always his to have,” I concluded.
By the time Darin came into the kitchen, we were both a wreck. “Jesus, do I need to be happy or kill someone?” He was aghast.
“The first, babe,” Angel assured him, as she tipped her head back for a kiss.
Shaking my head at the memory, I start to push the door outside open when I catch someone in the shadows out of the corner of my eye. Startled, I take an involuntary step back. Max emerges partially, his face mostly hidden, still clutching my book like a lifeline. Clasping my chest, I admit, “You surprised me.”
“I apologize, Ms. Kee.” His voice is subdued.
I start to take a step in his direction, but he slams up the book like a shield warding off evil. “Please, don’t come any closer.” There’s a break in his voice I relate to all too well.
“Is there something you want to talk about?” I ask carefully. I’m not a trained counselor, but if this boy is willing to open up, maybe I can guide him to Morgan.
“Does Pilar ever heal?” he asks me almost desperately. “After everything done to her in this, how can she?”
The book in Max’s hands is forever burned in my brain. Staring down at it, I remember the criticism I received because it was too dark for a first release for a young adult novel. I had no other way to start to let go of the pain. I remember purging a variation of what truly happened to me through Pilar’s eyes to set myself free because my memories were too heavy for me to handle alone any longer.
But now, since that first night at Ry’s, I realize not everything was an ache; not everything was darkness. And even as I think back to what I wrote, I intuitively knew that—for both myself and my character. There was hope to be found in the pages of Betrayal. Love too. And softly, I quote the words I wrote when I was a little older than Max is now—the words Ry had etched in glass before I flung them to the floor in anger and misconceptions. “The worst thing that’s happening to you is the best thing that will ever happen to someone else. All you can do is move past it. After all, if life were meant to be easy, I’d have already won the
game.”
“I know you wrote that.” He flips to the exact page and points at my words, which he must have memorized. “I just have a hard time believing it.”
“Why?” I ask cautiously.
“Because day after day, when they’re hurting me, I can’t believe anyone could hurt more,” he snarls.
Inhaling a sharp breath, I inch forward. At that moment, a stream of light hits the shadows. I see the bruises along the side of his face. “Who did this to you?” I whisper. I stretch a hand out, reaching for the book, but he jerks away.
“Don’t touch me,” he hisses, and my heart thumps in my chest.
“I wasn’t. I wanted to look for a passage in the book.” At his doubtful look. I hold up my hand. “That’s it. I swear it to you.”
Tentatively, Max hands me his battered copy of my book with just his thumb and fingertip. Taking it gently, I flip toward the end of the book for the page I’m looking for. “I have a responsibility to you to help you. And you know what drives that? Not my job, but my heart.” Closing the book, I hold it back out to him. “If you don’t feel comfortable with me because you don’t know me, I appreciate that. But please,” I whisper in the hallway that has shrunk down to just the two of us where the loudest noise is his harsh breath. “Talk to Morgan, Lisa, Angel…someone.”
His fingers close over the top before he shifts back into the darkness. I can’t let him go without reminding him of something. “Morgan named the center Le Cadeau because she thinks you’re all gifts. Remember, Max. You told me that. You’re one of her gifts.” Knowing I’ve pushed enough, I move to open the door.
“Ms. Kee?” The dark whisper stops me in my tracks.
“Yes?”
“I just can’t—not today. Maybe…but not today,” he chokes out.
Turning, I let my eyes bore into the area where I know he’s still standing. “Will you promise me one thing? If you need medical help, you’ll come to one of us, no questions asked.”
There’s a long pause before he quietly says, “I promise.”
“Then I’ll leave you for now.” Though it’s the last thing I want to do. I stop when Max calls out my name.
As I turn back, his whispered “Thank you” finishes the job of shattering my heart into a million pieces.
I wish Ry were around to hold me together, but I know later he’ll understand.
He always seems to.
* * *
Later that night, his body tenses next to mine when I explain what happened. “What did you do?” Ry’s arms are like steel bands around me. His voice is harsh next to my ear.
I twist around to face him. His grip is so tight it almost chafes my skin even to turn in his arms. “I made him promise to come to me if he needed medical help.”
If anything, Ry’s arms get tighter. “You don’t think bruises up and down the side of his face necessitated medical help?”
I manage to drag my arm from between us. Uncertainly, I touch his face. Caressing his clenched jaw, I whisper, “Ry, this isn’t a page from a story. I don’t know what I’m doing,” I admit. “He was already so anxious and so angry. What if I said the wrong thing? I don’t have any trust built with him other than those of my words. I told Morgan the minute I found her,” I continue when it looks like he’s about to protest. “She went in search of him, but he was already gone. Her only hope is he comes back in the next few days so she can begin to find out what happened.”
He goes to open his mouth but then snaps it shut. Letting out a shuddering breath, he loosens his arms before burying his head in the crook of my neck. “You’re right. You handled it perfectly. I’m…infuriated that in this day and age, a child can be harmed.”
Nuzzling my face against him, I whisper, “Not everyone has a person like you to save them, Ry, but maybe they learn the person strong enough to save them is looking at them in the mirror.”
As soon as the words are out of my mouth, I’m rolled over to my back. Something I can’t name crosses Ry’s face, but it causes my heart to lurch in my chest. It’s gone in between one heartbeat and the next, which is all the time it takes for him to press his lips gently to mine. Giving myself up to the pure pleasure of his kiss, I put his anger about Max down to a reminder about the disgusting things that marked us from Forsyth.
Things we’d both rather forget ever happened.
Chapter 34
Rierson
“What’s wrong?’ I hear my dad call out as I race up the stairs to my bedroom.
Stripping out of my clothes, I drop them wherever they land and run as quickly as possible into the shower that’s on full blast. Grabbing the sponge and the gel, I begin vigorously scrubbing my body as hard as I can. I reach up to turn down the blast because there’s water that’s pooling in my eyes, leaking out.
It’s making me not be able to see where I need to wash.
I’m not sure if it’s the wetness on my pillow or Kelsey shaking me that wakes me up from my nightmare.
I twist away and sit up in bed. “I’m fine,” I struggle to get out.
Her hand moves up and down my back. “Ry, you’re shaking.” Kelsey’s voice is low in deference to either the late hour or my destroyed nerves. “Was it a nightmare?”
I don’t answer, my body still trapped in the memories that rarely make a reappearance. “Talk to me,” she pleads.
I’m unable to form words. Jesus, how am I supposed to tell her everything that I’ve buried inside me? Instead, I capture her hand as it smooths over the joint of my shoulder. “I’ll be okay,” I manage to choke out.
She lets out a sigh that’s both terrified and relieved. Pulling her around the tangled covers while I twist to face her, I make a promise to both of us. “It will be okay, Kels. It was just a nightmare.”
She bites down on her lower lip so hard that through the moonlit window, I can see the blood start to drain from it. Using my thumb, I pull it out. “Baby, I wouldn’t lie to you.” I’m just not telling her everything about the past because I have it under control.
With a sigh, she lets it out as a shaky smile forms. “I want to be there for you, Ry. The same way you were always there for me.”
“The same way I’ll always be,” I vow, before lowering my head down to hers to capture her tender lower lip between my teeth.
As I roll her onto her back, I give her something she should have already known. “Even back then, I knew you cared. These eyes of yours—” I kiss each lid closed. They remain shut for a moment before opening languidly, shining with an ethereal glow. “—were mirrors into your heart, Kels. And knowing I had a place in your heart kept me from sinking. My true regret is losing you before I could beg you for forgiveness. I lost a part of myself that’s been yours since you put honor and pride above fear.” I swipe at the tears flowing from her eyes. “I wish I’d been able to do the same.”
She reaches up and grips my wrists tightly. “Never apologize to me for what happened again,” she says fiercely. “I understand. And who’s to say if I weren’t threatened with something to do with my family or Angel, I wouldn’t have done the same thing. Love causes us to do things we’d never believe we were capable of otherwise.” Her voice is so adamant, I know she’s trying to tell me something. My breathing is harsh in the room.
“Like what?” She squirms beneath me. I pin her slightly beneath me. “Kels?”
Her hands are shaking against my wrists. Slowly she lifts one to touch my brow, my cheek, and my lips before her words cement our reunion into a permanent reconciliation. “I’d never believe I could look in the mirror and see my beauty—that is until I saw myself through your eyes. Because the hurt of yesterday is never going to come back and haunt me; you’d never let it.” What’s left of my nightmare dissipates when she clasps my face and pulls my lips down before murmuring, “Isn’t it beautiful the way love causes us to see ourselves?” right before her lips meet mine.
As I’m pulled under the gentle onslaught of her kiss, a small part of my mind is shriekin
g in panic.
After all, what will she say if she ever truly sees all of me?
Slowly, I kiss her until my racing heart calms, but where before I would have pulled her body beneath mine and loved it back to sleep, I just can’t.
I feel too tainted by the past to touch my future.
Chapter 35
Rierson
The end of a quarter drains me. Between each department head sending summaries of their open contracts, procurements, and pending awards as well as trying to put my seal of approval on the ones that pass through the C-suite, it’s usually a week where I practically eat, sleep, and breathe Bayou Enterprises. But this one is made even worse because every time I close my eyes, all I feel is despair.
The last three nights, I’ve crawled into bed well after eleven only to find Kelsey wrapped around my pillow. On my end table was a plate of cookies and a Yeti filled with sweet tea. But what burned through me the most as I stared down at her sleeping form was the simple note she left with them.
I love you. ~K
What the hell is wrong with me? I wonder. Shoving away from my desk, I wander over to the windows overlooking the bold city I’ve lived in for years—a city whose dark side is so eloquently depicted by the Mardi Gras masks you can find by any street vendor. Play, hide, but never entirely reveal your true self. Sounds familiar. My fist clenches at my side.
The soft sound of my intercom interrupts my introspection. “Yes?” I call out.
“Mr. Boudreaux to see you, sir,” Vince, who’s covering for my assistant while she’s at lunch, announces.
“Send him in.”
A tinge of amusement laces his voice when he asks, “Do you want to know which one it is?”
I bark out a laugh. “It’s not going to stop me from telling you to send them in.”
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