by G S Banks
A peek out of one of the windows reveals Central Park glittering below. It isn’t a big crowd, but it’s enough. I used to know a lot more people than this but none of them would come now, so it’s basically a smattering of kids Kelci knows from school and a few of our parents’ friends. I run my hands down my dress, which is violet, entirely covered in sequins, and has purple slashes running across it. I bought it in a vintage costume shop and I love it. Kelci showed up in a grey t-shirt with a comic book hero emblazoned across the front, even though I bought her the cutest plaid dress to wear tonight. The t-shirt hangs loose over her pale arms. Her hair sits straight and neat at her chin and she has glittery scarlet eyeliner across her eyes. That’s something, at least.
My eyes are drawn to Mason. He cradles a glass in his hand and looks super handsome in his cream shirt which makes his skin look good-enough-to-eat honey brown. It’s so cute how he smiles and casually lifts his thick eyebrows as he talks to my Dad, who wears the shirt and jacket I picked out for him. It makes my heart skip to see them together. I’m grateful to Dad, for talking to him. This is the first time I’ve brought Mason to anything like this and I wasn’t sure how my parents would react. But Dad is a proper gentleman. You’d have to be a full-blown homicidal maniac for my father to ignore you at a party. He always gives everyone the benefit of the doubt, even those he has to deal with on his missions, or at least I think he does, from the snippets I pick up in conversation. Mum reckons he’s too forgiving.
My eyes flit, to find my mother in the crowd and I see her, standing in the corner, haughty and glamorous, holding a bubbling flute of champagne, which I know she will barely sip all night because Anitars rarely drink, it dulls their powers. Her flaming hair is piled onto her head and shining rubies hang from her ears. As I look at her there – beautiful and fierce – I really do wonder how no one else can tell she has the inner Tiger, it seems so glaringly obvious once you know.
She talks to another woman, smiling and nodding but I see her eyes flicking over to Dad and Mason. I know what she’s thinking. That boy Mason is not an Anitar, he’s leading my daughter astray, distracting her from her ‘real’ calling. My mother is not subtle. She thinks he’s part of the reason I don’t want to manifest, but she’s wrong about that. I push down the familiar knot of frustration and remind myself that tonight is Kelci’s night, despite the fact that she doesn’t actually want to be here. The least I can do is make sure she has some semblance of a good time. I scan the room and see her over at the back, away from everyone else, holding a glass of orange juice. I walk across and I swear there’s a glimmer of relief in her eyes as I reach her.
‘Happy Birthday, sis,’ I say.
‘How amazing,’ she drawls, unamused. ‘This is just what I wanted. A party.’
‘Come on, Kels, just enjoy it. The beautiful tables, the décor, the people, it’s all for you. Your special night. 15 years old, my little sister!’
She looks at me as though I just presented her with a dead cat.
‘What?’ I say.
She remains silent.
‘I would have preferred a ladybird cake,’ she says, eventually, a sly smile forming on her lips.
She means the cake I made for her tenth birthday – a ladybird, of sorts. It took me a whole day in the kitchen, and it turned out a bright red splodge with black marks on it, a total mess. She loved that cake. I wish she could love anything I do for her now even half as much.
‘That cake was a pinnacle moment,’ I say, but as I’m talking, I notice that her half-smile is fading and I see a shade of worry darkening her eyes, just for a moment.
‘What is it?’ I say.
She frowns.
‘It’s nothing.’
‘Tell me, Kelci. What’s wrong?’
She turns her back to the crowd, awkwardly, then speaks in hushed tones from the corner of her mouth.
‘I just, I don’t know. I don’t feel right.’
‘Oh?’
‘I have that feeling again, here.’
She places her hand on her stomach.
‘Ok…’
This kind of thing has happened before, since she manifested. Rabbits have this enormous sense of danger and they perceive things, even before they’ve happened. But before Rabbits are trained, it’s out of control. The slightest thing can set them off. There were times, at the beginning, where she would get so worried about nothing, that I would sit with her all night, just so she could get some sleep.
‘Nothing bad is going to happen,’ I say. ‘I’ve spent way too much time organising this party for that.’
She pushes her glasses up her nose.
‘Suppose.’
I feel a warm hand on my back and turn to see Mason at my side, his hand sliding up around my bare shoulders. His soft lips nibble at my ear playfully, and I have to stop myself from gasping as the tingling travels from my head to my toes. Kelci folds her arms and stares at him in disgust, but before she has a chance to ruin the moment any further, the kitchen doors burst open and an enormous cake is lifted along by two waitresses. Five layers of vanilla sponge, loaded with strawberries and thick cream, covered in a dusting of icing sugar with 15 shining, pink candles on top. Exactly as I had planned. People gather round and I beam with delight, as Mason’s hand drops to the small of my back. I never knew the delights of feeling a guy’s hand resting right there. Mum and Dad appear, stood close. The waitresses carefully lay the cake on the table and I give Kelci a nudge towards it. She looks appalled, shaking her head stubbornly – she hates being the centre of attention.
‘Go blow out the candles, sis,’ I whisper.
Everyone looks at her expectantly. She purses her lips at me, and her eyes flash pink for half a second, then she creeps forward and stands in front of the cake. Everyone sings ‘Happy Birthday’ to her and, as the candles light up her face, I can’t help thinking how, despite the unimpressed expression, she is still the cutest girl in the world – with her button nose and soft cheeks and an innocence she tries so hard to hide. The clapping begins and she reluctantly bends forward and blows out the candles, not forgetting to give me a sour look once she is done.
There’s a flurry of cake eating but it isn’t long before Kelci pinches my arm.
‘Can we please go home?’
Her eyes are wide.
‘It’s too early for that, Kels,’ I say, twirling in front of her. ‘This party is just getting started… Here, have a cheese stick.’
She stares at the cheese stick I’m holding out to her.
‘Please. Nina.’
I wave it in front of her face.
‘I’m not even kidding,’ she says. ‘We have to get out of here.’
I drop the cheese stick to the table. Something in her voice has me listening. There’s a look in her eyes that I can’t ignore – she’s scared.
‘Alright, sis,’ I say. ‘Stay calm. Remember? Breathe.’
‘Oh god, stop,’ she says, looking at me like I’m a mad woman. ‘Let’s just go.’
We say our goodbyes and it’s hard to pull myself away from Mason, knowing that he will stay at the party without me. But Kelci makes her impatience so visible it isn’t long before we are spilling out onto the sidewalk. I keep my eyes out for a taxi. The street is quiet, the sky is dark.
‘Do you feel better now?’ I say, tempted to put my arm around her shoulder.
‘I guess, I –’
The loud sound of tires screeching stops her from continuing. I frown. Right there in front of us is a blacked out van. Kelci grabs my arm and I feel her nails dig into my skin. I look at her and see fear turning to terror. The doors of the vehicle open and four men jump out onto the pavement. They’re dressed head to toe in grey uniforms, wearing helmets and their faces are covered by grey masks leaving just their eyes visible. My breathing stops. Kelci pulls me along. I run but I am slowing her down. I know she could be gone by now, she’s Rabbit fast.
‘Let go of me, just go!’
I try to shak
e her off my arm but she has her hand clamped there. She will not just go. I put every last ounce of power into my legs. The men are right behind us. I feel a sharp blow to my side and fall to the pavement. My shoulder hits first then my head, things go out of focus and in again. I look up and see the four men holding on to Kelci.
‘No!’
She kicks out with her right leg and one of the men is catapulted backwards, at speed, into the side of a vehicle, creating a body-sized dent in the door. She stamps her left foot and the ground begins to shake. The windows of the nearby buildings rattle and the parked cars vibrate. I clamber to my feet. The men struggle to keep hold of her as she continues to thump her feet on the ground, causing the entire street to judder. I dive forward onto one of the men and punch him as hard as I can in the back of the neck. He turns around and flings me away. I land, back first, on the ground. Pain shoots up my spine and I can’t move. I see one of the men prod a long, thin weapon against Kelci’s neck. She suddenly goes quiet and everything fades to still as she lies there completely limp.
I cry out as her glasses slide down her face and fall to the ground. Just before they move away I see a symbol on the chest of one of their jackets. A purple flower. Sprouting from a layer of small green leaves. I see her face, eyes closed, head lolling. I fight hard to keep my eyes open. One of the men points to me.
‘What about that one?’
‘Leave her. Not needed.’
‘Kelci,’ I whisper.
I see a blurry vision of her glasses on the ground. My eyelids close.
‘Please. She can’t see anything without…’
Within moments the blackness comes.
6. Breathe
One day since Kelci was taken, Gregory Residence
I open my eyes and take in a massive gulp of air. Where am I? My sight is blurred. My head hurts, my back hurts. I can’t focus. Panic washes over me. I gasp:
‘Where’s Kelci?’
I hear my own voice but it’s like someone else speaks. My eyes focus in and out, in and out. The lilac walls, the feel of the covers on me. Swaying. Everything is swaying. Then, two strong arms, and a voice I know.
‘Nina, darling, you’re home.’
‘Dad!’
I can’t catch my breath. I can’t breathe.
‘Ok, slow down. Look at me.’
His face appears in front of me. I suck in air, then:
‘Where’s Kelci?’
I’m shouting.
‘Nina. Look at me. Focus on my eyes.’
Everything spins. I can’t see him. I’m lost. His voice comes again, commanding this time.
‘Focus on my eyes.’
I drag my eyes onto his. Violet blue. Familiar. Fading blonde hair.
‘That’s it. Stay focused on me. Breathe.’
My heart fights to get out of my chest.
‘Dad!’
I heave air into my lungs. Then out again. In, out. In, out. In, out. I see his eyes, but still… I can’t find myself.
‘Where am I?’
My arms fly out, grasping, until I find the sheet beneath me. I grab on, my fingers balling into fists. Dad places his hands on my shoulders, gently.
‘You’re home, Nina. You’re home, with me.’
I catch sight of the lightshade hanging from the ceiling behind his head, glowing papery purple. The sketches and little pictures on the walls, the mood boards. The rows of fashion magazines on the shelf, all in perfect date order. The tiny camera I take out on the streets with me. My bedroom. He holds his gaze steady, right in front of me. I keep forcing air into my lungs, then let it out again, it’s all I can do. I don’t know how long it takes for my breath to settle, but as soon as it does I try to think. I let go of the sheets then clasp onto Dad, unable to stop my nails digging into the muscles of his arms.
‘How did I get here?’
He loosens his grip on me.
‘We found you.’
‘But no Kelci?’
‘No Kelci.’
There’s despair in his voice. I can hear it. He’s trying to hide it, he doesn’t want me to hurt, he can’t stand to see me hurting, but it’s there. I see it in his eyes too – just like it was after Terence died. He didn’t know what to do then, but this time, it’s worse. His baby girl is gone, and it’s my fault. I almost choke on the thought.
‘Where is she?’
He shakes his head.
‘We don’t know.’
Another wave of panic rises.
‘There was nothing I could do…’
‘Shhh,’ he says, tucking my hair behind my ears, just like he did when I was a little girl at bedtime.
‘Nina, sweetheart, take as long as you need to rest. We can talk when you feel better.’
The bedding is covered in sweat. I reach for my hair. It feels like a bird’s nest, all matted at the back.
‘How long have I been here?’
His eyes turn from violet blue to aqua.
‘A day.’
I throw my head back, groaning.
‘And you don’t know where she is?’
‘No, we don’t. Rest, and you may be able to fill us in on what happened.’
I take in a deep breath. I see Babs sat on my windowsill, her bright yellow eyes watching me, her paws perfectly still on the edge. I turn to the bedside and see Kelci’s glasses laid there.
‘Oh.’
Horror fills me.
‘Dad, Kelci’s glasses – they’re here. She’s blind as a bat without them!’
I’m shouting again. And losing my breath. I can’t imagine… The terror… Those men… A look of misery creeps across Dad’s face. The door of my room creaks open and Mum’s head appears around the side. She is makeup-less, and her hair lies flat and sad at the sides of her face. There are grey circles underneath her eyes and her skin has turned ashen, making her look much older. It scares me, I’ve never seen her like this before. She creeps up to me and perches herself on the bed, at the other side to Dad, taking hold of my hand. Babs leaps from the windowsill and climbs onto her lap, purring loudly.
‘Are you all right Nina, sweetheart?’
I watch her long fingers, familiar, stroking my hand. The rose-gold band around her wedding finger. Her hands are shaking, ever so slightly. I’ve never seen them shake before – I didn’t know they could. It makes me feel sick. She shoots a look towards Dad – it’s a look I’ve seen many times before, it speaks of dread that maybe I won’t survive. She thinks I’m crumbling, like before. Too weak to take the pain.
‘I’m ok,’ I say, but I can’t help wincing.
My back feels like it has been smashed by a hammer.
‘What is it?’ she says.
‘Just my back. And my head.’
Another look passes between them.
‘Sol should be here soon,’ Mum says to Dad, who nods.
‘Who’s Sol?’ I say.
‘He’s going to help you feel better.’
I frown, but it’s the least of my worries.
‘Do you know where she is?’
Mum’s eyes are red and raw. Her voice comes out hollow.
‘We don’t know.’
I let out another groan.
‘Nina, darling, tell us what happened.’
Dad’s arms wrap around me.
‘She’s not ready,’ he says. ‘She’s just woken up.’
Mum frowns at him.
‘She can talk, she can do it.’
I wonder if they are going to have one of their arguments, where Dad wants to shield his little girl from the horrors of the world, whilst Mum wants to throw her tiger cub right into them, to ‘prepare her for life’. But I think all of us know that this is not the time.
‘I’m ready,’ I say.
I try to pull myself up the bed but I cry out as stabbing pains travel the length of my spine. Dad frowns, shooting a look of frustration at Mum. He thinks she’s pushing me too hard. But this time, she should.
‘Nina, stay still,’ he
says.
‘I’m ok. You need to know this.’
I grit my teeth against the pain and make myself talk.
‘We came out of the party, after we said goodbye to you,’ I say. ‘I was looking for a taxi…’
I tell them what I can remember: the van, the men, the struggle. How Kelci could have got away if it weren’t for me. Mum takes in a quivery breath. By now, tears are streaming down my face.
‘There was nothing I could do. They just… They had weapons…’
Sounds familiar. Nothing I could do. That same black feeling I had when Terence died is back, except this time the feeling has fingers, long ones, and they are choking me. I sob into Dad’s shoulder until there is nothing left. I feel a hand stroking my head. It’s Mum, and I think she might be crying too. She’s only ever cried in front of me twice before. Once when we left London to come here. And once when Whispy, her overweight old Red Cat, had to be put down at the vets. I hear her blow her nose. Then, her voice.
‘Was there anything else, about these men?’
I swallow hard. I feel like there’s something more I should tell them… I rack my brains, trying to remember. But there’s nothing.
‘I don’t know, I don’t think so … it all happened so fast.’
She nods and wipes her eyes with a tissue.
‘We’ve heard about a few disappearances…’
‘Huh?’
‘Just in the last few months, Anitars have gone missing in different parts of the world… We don’t know why, or who’s behind it.’
They knew about this?
‘Kelci’s an Ambassador’s daughter. Maybe they took her for ransom.’
They both look doubtful.
‘We haven’t had any ransom calls,’ says Dad. ‘And you are the Ambassador’s daughter too, remember?’
That makes me feel like a deflating balloon. He’s right. But I keep going.
