The man had even had the nerve to go and procure the special marriage license he’d mentioned after finding out the truth of her widow status, or lack thereof. Why couldn’t he simply be the rake society believed him to be? Things would be a great deal simpler for both of them if that was the case. Instead, he was acting all noble and honorable. Drat the man!
“I shall tell you what has got into her,” Michael began, “the fact of the matter is your headstrong, stubborn, foolish sister, is refusing to marry me!”
Daphne, along with Mrs. O’Dowd, had chosen that moment to walk into the entrance hall too, and everyone except Holly and Michael gasped, with equal looks of absolute shock on all of their faces. It was almost like a pantomime. Holly sighed. Wonderful. Just wonderful.
“You’ve asked her to marry you?” Violet’s eyes widened. “When did this happen?”
“Yesterday morning,” Michael replied.
Holly cringed at the look of knowing now in her sister’s face. There would be a great deal of questions from Violet when they were alone. Something else to look forward to, much like a tooth ache.
“And then, she refused to see me all of yesterday.”
“Yes, we are quite aware of that fact,” Daphne chimed in. “You did keep returning over and over yesterday.”
“Much to all of our annoyance,” Holly couldn’t help but add.
“Well, once you agree to marry me I’ll stop bothering everyone!” Michael replied.
“Marry you?” Holly exclaimed. “Why would I marry you? You haven’t even asked me to marry you. You’ve simply demanded I do so.”
“Asked you? You wouldn’t bloody say yes, even if I did ask you to marry me. Would you!”
“That is beside the point. You’ve simply decided that we shall be married and have refused to listen to my opinion on the matter.” She took several steps forward, over to where he was standing and couldn’t help but poke him in the chest once again. “Of all the arrogant, presumptuous things, Michael Drake, that takes the cake!”
“Oh, it does, does it?” he growled.
She took a step back, flicking an imaginary speck of lint from her dress. “It most certainly does, and quite frankly, I have no wish to discuss the matter any further. I’ve made my position perfectly clear.”
“As have I,” there was a low warning tone in his voice. “And if you wish for me to take you to Pembrook’s house party then you shall be going as my fiancée. And that is final.”
Holly stomped her foot on the floor and clenched her fists. “You infuriating man. How dare you! We had a deal.”
“A deal where you falsely represented yourself,” he returned, but then he paused and looked around at their audience. “Do you really wish to discuss this here? I’m quite prepared to if you will not see reason.”
“Me, see reason?” Oh, the nerve of the man. He infuriated her beyond belief. “You are the one being the stubborn blockhead about it all.”
“A stubborn blockhead?” he all but spluttered.
“Children, children, children,” Violet interrupted. “I hate to intrude on your rather amusingly immature quarrel, but you’re—”
“Violet,” Holly warned, “please stay out of it.”
Violet regarded her with arched brow. “You’re quarreling in the entrance hall, Holly. Hard to stay out of it in those circumstances. Perhaps you should discuss the matter in your study and give us all some peace.”
Holly took in a rather ragged breath. Her sister had a point. But Michael made her so mad sometimes that she seemed to lose all reason. “You are quite right,” she conceded. “The blockhead and I should finish our conversation in private.” She motioned over to the doorway behind her.
Michael grunted, but nodded in agreement and followed her into her study. He kicked the door shut with his heel, just as Holly rounded on him. She’d been meaning to give him a piece of her mind, but instead found herself in his arms.
Pressing against him, their lips met in a fury of passion as they kissed each other until they were breathless. It was as if they couldn’t get enough of each other. But then the kiss softened and the fury gave way to tenderness. A kiss as tantalizing as it was gentle. And oh, how she craved him more.
With a start, she realized how she’d missed him after having refused to see him all day yesterday, since he’d shown her the special license he’d obtained and demanded they go and get married then and there. Missed kissing him and being able to run her hands across the broad planes if his chest. Missed the very heat that radiated from him and warmed her as nothing else had in a long time.
It scared her how much she missed him, in truth.
Using all the willpower she possessed, she gently broke her lips free from his and pulled back from him. But she didn’t have the willpower to pull back fully, instead staying in the circle of his arms and resting her head against his steady heartbeat. It took her a moment to settle her breathing back to a somewhat normal level.
Goodness the man held a physical pull over her, that was getting harder and harder to resist. With a sinking feeling, she knew her heart was in danger with this man as it never had been with another.
“So, what now?” His deep voice rumbled.
A very good question indeed. “I don’t know.” With great difficulty she pulled away from him and walked over to the front window. Glancing down into the street below, Holly was only vaguely aware of the passing carriages, and hackneys, all busily navigating the streets.
“Is marrying me, really such a horrible option?” he asked.
She glanced back over to him. There was an expression of boredom on his face, but Holly could see the slight stiffening of his jaw and knew that how she answered his question would be important for them both.
Taking in a deep breath, she shook her head. “No, of course not.”
“Then I don’t understand the problem.” He strode over to where she stood and took her hands in his own. “You will eventually be a countess Holly and will never want for anything in your life. Your sisters will be looked after and under my protection. They will have their pick for a husband.”
“Why are you so insistent on marriage, Michael?” She all but pleaded with him. “You’re meant to be one of the most infamous rakes in England. Why would you want to get married?”
“I promised your brother I would look after you.”
“You can still do that if I’m your mistress.”
“Damn it, Holly!” He snapped, releasing her hands abruptly. “I took your virginity. That means something to me and it should to you too.”
“But what about love, Michael?”
His face seemed to blanch of color. “What about it?”
“Call me old fashioned, but I always dreamt that one day when I did marry, I would be marrying the love of my life. That I would have a marriage like my parents. Which is something that you can’t give me, is it?”
“You’re not some green chit, fresh out of the nursery, Holly,” Michael replied, his voice oddly devoid of emotion. “You know that marriages within society are business transactions. Nothing more, nothing less.”
“Of course, I know that,” she responded. “But not all of them are. And I certainly don’t mean to have such a marriage. In fact, at my age I thought marriage was quite off the cards. And to be quite honest, Michael, I’d rather stay a spinster for the rest of my life than live in a loveless marriage.”
He gave a mirthless laugh. “You’re being foolishly naïve.”
“Perhaps,” she conceded. “But why is it you’re so afraid of love?”
A muscle in his jaw twitched. “Damn it, just leave it alone. There are things I’ve done that you would hate me for.”
“Such as what?”
For a moment, she thought he was going to tell her but then he shook his head.
“Things that happened in the Crimea that I don’t wish to go into.” His expression was completely aloof.
“Very well. That is your choice,” she conceded. “
But I know I’d rather be happy on my own, than unhappy in a loveless marriage.”
“You certainly know how to crush a man’s ego, don’t you?” He sighed, long and loudly. “And what about children? Have you even considered that aspect of it?”
“What do you mean, children?” she asked, unable to suppress the image of herself cradling a child in her arms who had the same blue eyes and brown hair as Michael. The very image awoke a yearning inside her she hadn’t known she’d possessed.
“I know you were a virgin,” he began. “But surely even being a virgin you are aware that after the other night you could potentially be carrying my child within your womb.”
Holly gulped. “Oh. I hadn’t considered that aspect of it.”
“No, I’d gathered not.” He stared over her head and out the window. “I will not have a child of mine growing up a bastard.”
“Well there is no need to be so crass about it.”
“It’s simply a fact, Holly.” Michael glanced back down at her. “And I’m sure you wouldn’t want your child to be born with such a stigma either.”
“No,” she conceded. “The world is a harsh enough place as it is.”
“Perhaps then I can offer a compromise?”
Holly pursed her lips. “Do you even actually know what the word compromise means, Michael?”
“Holly,” his deep voice rumbled. “I’m being serious.”
“So was I.” She sighed. “Oh, very well, I’m listening. What is this compromise you wish to suggest?”
“Obviously, you don’t think I’d make you a good husband—”
“I never said that, though that’s probably a part of it,” she interrupted him. “However, what I said was I didn’t wish to be married without love.”
“But do you at least agree with me that you don’t know, not positively, until you try it?”
“What? Do you mean live in a loveless marriage?”
He nodded. “Perhaps it might not have love, but it would have mutual respect.”
She had no idea where he was going with this line of thought, but she was curious enough to play along, for the moment. “I suppose that could be the case.”
“Though we have argued over the years and still continue to do so on occasion,” he said. “I like you Holly. I really like you. I always have.”
A feeling of happiness filled her. “I like you too.” And she did, even if they did disagree on a great deal of things.
“We understand each other,” he continued, “and though I know I could never give my heart to you. To anyone, for that matter, I believe we can make a marriage together work. I believe that mutual respect is far more important than any supposed feelings of love, which is simply lust in disguise and fleeting at that.”
“You really do have a poor opinion of love, don’t you?” She found herself extremely curious to know how he’d gotten so jaded about the subject and what he’d done that he thought she’d hate him for. “What exactly is it that you are proposing?”
“I shan’t insist we get married straightaway.”
“My, how very gracious of you.” She hoped the sarcasm in her voice penetrate that rather thick head of his.
He breathed out a long breath. “Instead, we shall announce our engagement.”
“Our engagement?” She pinched the bridge of her nose, not liking this plan of his already.
“Yes,” he confirmed. “You will agree to be my betrothed, which will lend a level of respectability to us being constantly seen together and then if you still don’t wish to marry me and decide you’ve had enough of our affair, you can cry off painting me as the villainous fiancé, which my reputation will assist in. Then you shall be able to continue to play the widow and maintain your respectability.”
“So, you won’t continue to attempt to force me to marry you?” She couldn’t shake the feeling that there was something she was missing about this whole deal.
“Provided you’re not pregnant and that you keep an open mind about actually marrying me, then no, I won’t.”
“And if I am with child?”
“Am I really so bad of a prospect if you are?” She could hear the hurt in his voice that he tried to disguise.
“No, of course you’re not.” And truly he wasn’t. “Does that mean we must stop being intimate with each other to avoid an accidental pregnancy? If that is the case it rather defeats one of the main purposes of my plan, to experience pleasure before I’m too old. Although I must admit too that I never thought of the possibility of pregnancy, which I probably should have.”
“There are ways to prevent pregnancy and still be intimate,” Michael said, looking none too pleased to be discussing such a topic. “But they’re not foolproof, though are generally effective.”
Holly was intrigued. “Well that is good then. We shall have to employ them.”
“Or you could just marry me and we wouldn’t have to worry.”
She narrowed her eyes. “You were in the midst of compromising, remember?” Goodness most people would think she was mad if they knew she hadn’t said yes to marrying him, immediately. Perhaps she was mad? After all, what woman wouldn’t want to be a countess, surrounded by wealth and luxury?
But none of that mattered, not when Holly thought about potentially being married to him and stupidly unable to resist giving him her heart, while he couldn’t reciprocate her feelings. And without love, what was to stop him from having mistresses and breaking her heart every time she found out about one of them? Nothing, is what.
That would be torturous. Absolutely torturous. She would have to guard her heart fiercely as she rather suspected it was well on the way to already being rather enamored of the man. “Very well,” she finally agreed. “I shall pretend to be your fiancée for as long as we decide our affair should last, but when I do cry off you will agree not to force a marriage between us. Oh, and that you also take me to Lord Pembrook’s this afternoon.”
“Ah yes, the reason for my summons today. How could I forget?” This time it was he who had sarcasm dripping from his words.
“Well I hope you took heed of the note I sent you and came packed, with your carriage ready to go.” Holly sailed past him toward the door. “It is a good four-hour ride to his estate is it not? I would like to get there when the others do. Showing up with you, will already create a spectacle, which can hopefully be minimized by at least arriving on time.”
“Good Lord, you’re tenacious when you’ve decided upon something aren’t you?”
She paused with a hand on the door handle, jiggling it a bit to give her sisters, who were surely pressed up against the wood of the door trying to eavesdrop, time to move away from it. “I certainly am, Michael Drake, and I think you’d do well to remember that. Now, shall we be off? As I said, I don’t wish to be late.”
Chapter 10
“Considering we’re not far from Pembrook’s estate, don’t you think it’s perhaps time you explain to me why you’re searching his safes?” Michael asked, trying to stretch his legs out in the small confines of the carriage, with little success. He’d been cooped up in the cramped space for nearly four hours and not only was the lack of room starting to grate on his nerves, but he’d spent the better part of the trip restraining himself from grabbing Holly and hauling her onto his lap.
Wanting to do so, was like a compulsive reflex that kept battering his will. But he couldn’t give in to temptation. The woman was as clever as a whip and if she knew that all he could think about was caressing her and being inside her, filling her once again with his seed, she’d use that power to manipulate him. All women did, why should Holly be different? Plus, he had a feeling that he’d need to keep his wits about him this weekend. Especially if she was going to be sneaking off to crack Pembrook’s safe at some point.
He still couldn’t even believe that he was a party to such a thing. After the war had ended he’d hoped his days of cloak-and-dagger activities would be well and truly behind him. Not so with Holly Jenkin
s it seemed.
“I’ve told you,” the lady herself spoke up from where she was seated across from him on the blue velvet seat of his carriage, the purple skirts of her traveling gown spread across the entire width of the bench. “Pembrook has some incriminating letters belonging to my friend, which I must retrieve.” She shrugged, her eyes glued to the window and the passing scenery. “I can’t reveal anything else, without risking a confidence.”
“And you know for certain it is Pembrook blackmailing this woman?”
Holly nodded. “Yes, quite certain.”
It was somewhat surprising, given that he’d always considered Pembrook a weak fool and blackmailing someone usually took nerves of steel. Though the man had recently suffered some financial setbacks. “I had heard he’d made some terrible investments of late.” Michael shrugged. “Perhaps that’s why he’s felt the need to dabble in blackmail.”
“It would make sense,” Holly agreed. “Though I intend to put a stop to his nefarious activities once I find the letters.” She turned to face him, and Michael was struck by how darned gorgeous she was. Her almond eyes were gleaming a brilliant emerald in the afternoon sunlight and her ebony hair was swept up high on her head, with her bonnet covering most of the luscious locks, but with a few curls cascading down, framing her heart shaped face. “Michael?” she asked, with a slight hesitation in her voice that was unusual for Holly.
“Yes?”
“This new agreement we’ve struck…well, I do hope it involves…um…” She blinked her eyes closed and took in a deep breath. “More of what we did at your house, the other evening.”
A jolt of lust gripped him, all but consuming in its intensity. Caring little about his earlier worries, Michael reached over and plucked her up from her seat, pulling her onto his lap, crinoline and all.
She laughed and grabbed his shoulders. It was one of the sweetest sounds he’d heard. God, this woman did things to him. Frustrated him to no end one moment and then had him burning with desire the next. No woman had ever affected him like Holly Jenkins did. It would be very easy to imagine her in his life always. Like a bright light shining warmth and happiness into his lonely and dark existence.
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