“I’m sorry. I’m sorry I provoked you, but something stirred inside me and I suddenly needed this. But I’m also used to being left to my own devices. No one has ever cared enough to stop me.”
“Oh, Beth. That makes my heart ache for you, but when will you realize, or rather accept, that I care that much?”
“I think I understand now, but it won’t do any good. Edward, my father will never agree. And I can’t keep doing this. I can’t keep touching you and letting you touch me knowing it isn’t going anywhere. It’s too painful. The disappointment is crushing me.”
“I’m going to find a way. I’m not letting you go. If you want this as much as I do, I won’t give up. Can you have faith in me? Will you trust me?”
“I do trust you, but my faith isn’t blind. I’m aware of my limitations when it comes to hope. Fate simply isn’t that kind. It has a way of punishing you when you try to get too far ahead.”
Edward was unsure how to respond to this melancholy admission. He held her and stroked her hair until she grew too cold for them to remain. They rode back to the castle together at a more sedate pace, but Edward acquiesced when Elizabeth silently challenged him to gallop.
Edward paced inside his chamber until there was no putting off the inevitable. He had to join his brother and the rest of the court for the evening meal. He dragged himself from his chamber knowing Elizabeth would not be there. She seemed adept at finding ways to avoid joining the court for meals.
The evening meal was interminable for Edward as the older ladies continued to flaunt themselves, and a few tried to strike up their former liaisons. He counted Elizabeth’s absence as a blessing while he made it clear he was neither interested nor available. It was only Lady MacAdam who would not cease her pursuit.
“I see your little dove is missing yet again. Have you scared her off already?”
“Lady MacAdam, I made myself clear several days ago.”
“And I warned you that you would make no progress with Lady Elizabeth. She seems to be hiding ever since you arrived at court. I can’t picture her knowing how to handle you like a more experienced woman does.”
She brushed her skirts against him as she reached out to cup his cock. This time she found nothing that suggested Edward was interested. She frowned but rubbed her hand over him. When nothing stirred, she looked up to his smirk, and his hand was a manacle as it clamped around her wrist to pull her hand from him.
“There is your proof. I am not interested.”
“Or perhaps that is the problem. You can’t get it up for anyone but yourself. No wonder she doesn’t want you.”
“Say what you want, Lady MacAdam. We are through.”
Edward walked back to the dais and grabbed a pitcher of mead along the way. He spent the rest of the night nursing his mug of mead, never refilling it.
“Are you going to sulk until Christmas? Your brooding is becoming tiresome.”
Edward looked to Robert who joined him at the dais after the queen retired.
“I might.”
“I warned you away from her. Now she keeps hiding. What did you do?”
“I asked her to marry me.”
“After two weeks? Are you daft? Don’t you remember what I told you? Why would you put her in that position?”
“Enough with the questions. You sound like a nag.”
“I sound like your brother.”
“Is that what you are right now? Or will you be my king again in a moment and order me away from her?”
“I might order you back to Ireland.”
The men stared at each other until they both relented and took a swig from their mugs.
“Edward, it’s an infatuation. Take one of the women up on their offers. Scratch your itch with Lady MacAdam. She’s chasing you with as much energy as you are Lady Elizabeth.”
“Robert, it’s not an itch. I can’t explain it, but this isn’t infatuation. It’s not just physical. Yes, I’m attracted to her. More so than any other woman, but I want to be in her company even if I can’t touch her. I want to see her smile and learn about what interests her. She has a sharp mind and a caring heart. One that puts her in danger. I would be there to protect her.”
“Danger? What do you mean?”
“Were you ever informed Laird Fraser has sired at least three bastards? At least those are the ones Elizabeth knows of. They live in a cottage just outside the town. Two are full sisters to each other but only half-sisters to Elizabeth and her half-brother, who’s nearly as old as her. She sneaks out to see them, and I suspect if she hadn’t sensed me following her, she would have stopped in the market to bring them food.”
“I’m familiar with the boy, Thomas, but I wasn’t aware of any daughters. Where is their mother if they are only Thomas’s half-sisters?”
“She died giving birth to the younger one. The midwife brought the babe and toddler to Thomas’s mother, who took them in.”
“Does he provide for them?”
“What do you think? If he did, would Elizabeth be slipping out of the postern gate and making her way through the town alone?”
Robert looked at his distressed brother and saw concern etched between his brows. There was worry in his eyes for someone other than their family.
“You genuinely care.” It was a statement not a question.
“Why do you doubt me? Is it that you believe I’m incapable of caring for someone other than myself, or is it you assumed I want to tup her and move on?”
“Perhaps both,” Robert stroked his chin as he watched his brother’s frown deepen. “I might order her to marry you. Her father would have no choice but to accept.”
“No. Absolutely not.” Edward shook his head. “I don’t want her, or any bride, forced down the aisle by your decree. I want Elizabeth to come willingly. If I can’t make her see my feelings are true, then I will leave her alone. I will not be the reason she feels trapped. More so than she already does.”
“You consider she feels trapped here?”
Edward rubbed the back of his neck and debated how much to tell his brother.
“I would imagine so. She’s been here ten summers and has no prospects of marriage. Other than me. You told me yourself the queen thinks Elizabeth is sure she will die a spinster.” Edward rubbed his neck again. “She’s said as much to me.”
“Really? And when would that be? She’s barely shown her face since you arrived.”
“I was going for a ride last week, and I heard someone talking. I assumed it was lovers, but it was Elizabeth crooning to her horse,” Edward smiled as he pictured the scene in the stable. It was Robert clearing his throat that brought him back to the present. “I watched her take off on a black stallion. She tore across the field and took a jump only the most experienced rider should dare. She looked like she was born atop a horse. She rode faster than anyone else I’ve ever seen. I struggled to keep up, and you know my mount is better than most. She forded the stream to the south and charged down the hill that drops off on the other side. I feared she would fall and be trampled. Instead, she was safely hidden in the woods waiting to see if I was friend or foe. She had the wherewithal to realize she was being followed, even if she was too naïve to accept she should bring a guard. Robert, she rides alone to escape being trapped in the castle. That speaks of desperation to me.”
“And what happened when you found her in the woods?”
Edward avoided looking at Robert.
“That is not something I will share. Just know that she left in the same condition she entered.”
“Still a virgin?”
Edward growled. “Of course.”
Robert held up his hands. “Just making sure.”
“Robert, I have not a clue what to do. You know the man. Is any ground to be made if I speak to her father?”
“You can try. Tell him you already have my blessing.”
Edward nodded as he drained the last of his mead. He stared into space and barely noticed Robert leave the dais once
again.
Chapter 7
“Bluidy bleeding hell!” Edward slammed the door behind him. He had spent the last three days trying to gain an audience with Laird Fraser while following Elizabeth to her siblings’ cottage and on a nerve-jarring ride. She was aware that he followed her, but she never acknowledged him, and he did not approach her. He kept his distance, but he refused to allow her to continue to traipse about without a guard. She resumed taking her meals with the others, but she put more distance between them now. He maneuvered his way into being in the gardens when the queen and her ladies were there. A few attempted to flirt with him, but he showed no interest. He managed to squeeze in a word or two with Elizabeth, but while she did not ignore him, she did not encourage him either.
Now Edward had been dismissed by both father and daughter. When the final Sunday Mass of Advent ended, Edward approached Elizabeth’s father outside the king’s council chamber. Laird Fraser had the audacity to laugh when Edward approached him with his offer of marriage. Edward held his temper as long as possible before it exploded. He accused her father of neglect and manipulation. He pointed out that a father who cared for his family and clan would see the benefits in securing an alliance of some sort rather than risking the next generation’s security. He pointed out that he was the king’s brother, which only garnered a sneer. He was ready to drive his fist into the man’s face just as Elizabeth had done to him in the woods. Edward argued that no other man was willing to risk a conversation like this, and the fact that he was should speak to his sincerity and dedication. But Laird Fraser refused to budge.
“Bluidy bleeding hell!”
A pounding at the door brought his attention back to the present. He stormed over and yanked it open.
“What?” Edward bellowed, but was contrite when the page standing before him jumped. The boy appeared only to be eight or nine summers. “My apologies, lad. What is it?”
“The king has sent a message.” The boy handed over the folded parchment and turned tail, nearly running back down the passageway.
Edward went to stand near the window as he unfolded the missive.
I don’t know what you did, but he’s sending her away.
One line and Edward’s world crumbled around him. He did not have to guess what his brother meant. He just wondered how Fraser moved so quickly. Edward had only just returned to his chamber and news of her departure had already reached the king. He recollected his meeting, and he remembered a brief moment when Laird Fraser spoke to one of his guards. Edward realized that must have been the moment he issued the order for her departure. They had argued for nearly another hour.
Edward scrambled to gather clothes and stuffed them into a satchel before racing down to the stables. He ran past his horse to the stall where Elizabeth’s mount stood chewing on hay.
A carriage. Thank God. I can catch up to a carriage.
Edward yelled for his horse to be saddled as he sprinted back into the castle. He wove his way to the kitchens where he filled another satchel with supplies. He was just about to step out into the bailey when he heard his name. Once again, it was the only voice that held the authority to make him stop.
“Going after her?”
“Did you doubt me?”
“No. I suppose I didn’t. I also suppose things deteriorated rapidly with Fraser.”
“That’s putting it mildly. He refused to listen to me, and then we argued.”
“Well, that certainly sounds like the perfect way to convince a man to marry off his only daughter.”
“Robert, I need to go.”
“I presumed you might like to know where she’s going.”
Edward paused before he nodded.
“Castle Varrich.”
“The Sinclairs? Bluidy hell, that’s the opposite end of Scotland. You can’t get further north before you drop into the sea. Why there?”
“Her cousin Deirdre is married to the youngest Sinclair brother. That was a royal debacle, and I do not exaggerate. The women were very close before Deirdre left. He’s sending her there for the rest of Advent and all the way through Epiphany.”
“It’ll take that long just to get there. Is the man daft, or is he so selfish that he would send his daughter into the Highlands in the middle of winter? Is he trying to kill her?”
“I wondered the same.”
“I’m leaving, Robert.”
“Godspeed.”
The two men embraced before Edward ran back to the stables and tore out of the bailey.
Elizabeth sat and shivered in the carriage. The heated brick she had been given by her maid had gone cold hours ago. The furs tucked around her were not sufficient to block the cold air that crept in around the hides hung at the carriage windows. She gave up looking out the windows when she realized the driver was taking the least direct route to her home—or to anywhere, really. She was sure he was trying to make her lose her sense of direction. That would have been at her father’s command. He recognized that she had a mind for maps after she once led him through the catacombs behind the walls of the castle. She rued sharing that information.
Another hour passed before Elizabeth looked out the window again. She judged she should be approaching her family’s keep soon. Why her father possessed the need to trick her, she did not understand. It seemed inevitable that she would be going to Castle Dounie.
Elizabeth scanned the surrounding area, and then swung around to look out the other window. None of the landscape was familiar. There were large hills rising in the distance that gave way to mountains. The snow that was only a dusting in Stirling was thick and crunching below the wheels. Somehow, she had not noticed the sound until now. Elizabeth stuck her head out and called to the driver. He did not acknowledge her. Elizabeth was not sure if the wind carried her words away or if he was ignoring her.
Where the hell is Father sending me? This carriage will never make it through the mountains. Why is he sending me to the Highlands?
The answer came to Elizabeth with equal parts excitement and dread.
Deirdre. He’s sending me to her. I have missed her these last months, but I can’t travel into the Highlands this time of year. Why would Father put me in such danger?
Elizabeth’s stomach sank as she guessed what had angered her father enough to send her away. And not only away but to put her at risk.
Edward must have asked for me. That’s the only reason he would send me so far away. He worries Edward might follow me to our keep. And he might. There is no way he can know I’m not headed there. Oh, Edward. What have you done?
The carriage hit a large ditch, then seemed to roll over a huge rock. It listed precariously before a large crack rent the air and the carriage toppled onto its side. Unprepared, Elizabeth was thrown about as the carriage slid down an embankment before crashing to a stop against a tree.
It took her a long moment before she was able to orient herself, and her head stopped spinning. Something warm oozed on her forehead, and she saw blood after she swiped her gloved hand across it. Elizabeth took a deep breath before pushing herself onto one of the squabs. She inched her way until she was within reach of the door handle on the side that stuck into the air. She twisted it, but nothing happened. She looked closer and saw the door was dented at the hinges. Grasping the fabric that lined the walls, she held on as she pulled herself into a crouch. She pushed the window hanging out of the way and pulled herself free. She cursed the long skirts that wrapped around her legs, making it hard to scramble out. Once she made it through the window, she sat on the carriage and looked around. The rear axle on the side in the air was clearly broken. There was no longer a wheel attached. She looked to see where the driver and coachman were, but neither were to be seen. The horses were no longer attached to the carriage because the shaft had split. She shimmied down the side and landed hard into the packed snow. Her trunk was halfway up the hill but still closed. She trudged through the snow until she reached the chest and flung it open. She pulled out two pairs of wool l
eggings, an extra tunic and kirtle, and three shawls. She snapped the lid shut and sat down to pull off her boots. She fought, but eventually succeeded in pulling one pair of leggings over the other. She hurried to put her boots back on. She stood and unclasped her cloak before putting the spare tunic on and wrapped the shawls over her head and then replaced the cloak. She folded the spare kirtle several times before tucking it into her belt. She opened the chest again and found a scarf and an extra pair of gloves.
Once Elizabeth had on as many layers as she could manage and still be able to walk, she used her hands to help her climb to the top of the hill. She looked around and found the coachman laying in a puddle of blood. His head had a long gash that began on the man’s forehead and ran to the back of his skull. The driver was nowhere to be seen, and neither were the horses. Elizabeth scanned the area and looked for any sign of highwaymen. There was nothing but an open expanse of white that merged into the mountains in front of her and the open trail behind her. She walked back the way they came and noticed a solid form that lay to the side of the road. She realized that she had found the driver, and checked to see if he still lived. The angle of his neck told her there was no chance he survived the fall. As she approached, she noticed fresh hoofprints. There was only one set. Once again, she looked around to see if she might find one of the horses. She whistled thrice before a whinny answered her. She continued to whistle as she followed the sound of the animal. She understood she might be going in the wrong direction if the sound echoed, but she took her chances until she saw another set of hoofprints. She approached the animal slowly with her palms outstretched before her. The animal stomped in place but let her approach. When she got close enough to grab the bridle, she ran her hand over one front leg, then the other. She ran her hand along the animal’s flank and checked his hind leg before walking in front of the horse and around to the other side. The horse seemed to be uninjured but still spooked. She walked the gelding back to the road and looked around. She had no idea where she was. She had not seen any hints of villages or towns nearby. They had not passed any, but that did not mean none were to be found.
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