by L. R. W. Lee
Felius Dudge, EsqChairman
Maxine MoroseSecretary
Horace GreenlyEnvironmental Agency
Andreas SharkLegal Affairs
Donsay HatPolitical Correctness
Tor NadoMedia Affairs
Count DrackCensus Bureau
Brother InnocenceReligious Affairs
Patty AmnulSocial Committee
Delia CatLabor Relations
Noel MovinTransportation Department
Gladys BlendaTransition Services
Archie AngelesDeputy Oversecretary, Peace
Paradise
Sine SterDeputy Undersecretary, Hades
Imogenia swallowed hard as she read the last name.
“Horace, we’ve had a complaint that the music was playing too loudly in the Waiting Area,” one board member announced as Mr. Brutish showed them into the board room and directed them to a row of seats lining the front wall.
“The soul music?” a male spirit clarified, clearly irritated.
A woman’s voice confirmed.
“Fine, I’ll tell them to turn it down…again,” the male spirit agreed.
They had entered a large conference room. The walls were lined with rich wood panels and a lectern stood at the front, near the door. An enormous conference table filled the space, and a dozen spirits were seated around it.
It was easy to guess who a few of the committee members were. One gentleman had a rather large face and wore a smile that proudly displayed several rows of sharp, pointed teeth. Andreas Shark of Legal Affairs, Imogenia deduced. Another member seemed to spin, like an angry storm cloud. That has to be Tor Nado, the Media Affairs guy. Another lady wore a hat with balloons and blew a noisemaker, eliciting scowls from other attendees. “Lighten up, everyone! Lighten up!” she implored. And that must be Patty Amnul of the Social Committee.
An older-looking spirit stood and glided to the podium. “I’m Felius Dudge, Chairman,” he introduced himself to Imogenia and her parents. “Welcome.”
Then, turning to the committee, he opened his mouth to speak, but a noisemaker sounded.
“Ms. Amnul, please try to control yourself. And as we’ve told you a number of times, while you believe we should all lighten up, that is not possible in our current conditions. Now, may I proceed?”
“I’m sorry, I’m just so excited!” Ms. Amnul squealed, bouncing in her chair.
Tap, tap, tap-tap, tap-tap-tap emanated from a rickety old typewriter sitting on the table before the spirit transcribing the proceedings.
“Yes, we know…” drawled the chairman. “Now then, next on our agenda is a discussion about the progress of beta test #7253, the curse of king Hercalon V of Oomaldee. We also have a request by the two original supporters to withdraw. Let’s hear first from Agent Puddington with his assessment of how the test is progressing.”
Agent Puddington floated to the podium. “Your honors, the beta test has been extremely successful. It was innovative, yet simple.” He motioned toward Imogenia. “This young lady should be congratulated. I’ve never seen such effective results, and I’ve been an agent for eons.”
Imogenia beamed as applause filled the chamber. Patty Amnul blew her noisemaker.
Puddington held up a silvery hand and the room quieted. “That said, the curse has been in place for over five hundred years. While the initial success has been maintained, I have seen no additional change over the last one hundred years. It is not possible to assess the inner thoughts of the subject to determine if he has truly repented of his crime, but I do not anticipate further modification. I recommend the test be concluded and added to our standard punishment options.”
Imogenia’s smile morphed into a scowl.
“Thank you, Agent Puddington,” Dudge acknowledged, assuming the podium again. “Imogenia, please share your assessment with us.”
Imogenia rose slowly and glanced around at the faces, biting her lower lip as she approached the podium. She cleared her throat, then began.
“My little brother and I were entertaining ourselves up in my chambers as we often did. I was reading. He was tinkering with an invention that was supposed to provide light so I could read at night. He seemed unusually sweet, even paid me a compliment, which was uncharacteristic. We got along but were by no means close. He was also jumpy, though I didn’t think much about that since he could be a bit odd at times. He asked me to come take a look at his contraption. When I did, he stood and offered me his seat. I sat down and the next thing I knew, I felt an excruciating pain in my back.”
Imogenia inhaled, reliving the attack, and wiped her cheeks with the backs of her hands. She paused, regained her composure, then showed her wound, drawing a round of gasps.
“My father believes Kaysan is remorseful. I do not. Not once has he visited my grave. Not once has he cried out in anguish over what he did. Agent Puddington believes my brother will not change further, so he wants to end the curse. With all due respect, how does he know? He’s never supervised any other cases like mine. What if he’s wrong? I’m begging you, please allow the curse to continue.”
Imogenia wiped her cheeks again as she sat down. She noticed Patty Amnul, Donsay Hat, and Delia Cat dabbing their eyes.
“Thank you, Imogenia, for your moving testimony. And now, King Hercalon, please come and give us your assessment.”
“Over five hundred years ago,” the sovereign began, “my former subjects were put under this curse through no fault of their own. I admit I agreed to it, but only for the sake of teaching my son a lesson that seemed impossible to accomplish any other way. My intention, as I stated at the beginning, was to release my people from the curse as quickly as possible. Distinguished members of the committee, it is my duty to look after their interests. Continuing to put them under the curse is not fair to them, especially when there has been no change in Kaysan for quite some time. I implore you, look to your sense of fairness and justice. End the pointless suffering of my people.”
“Thank you, sir,” Felius Dudge concluded after the king sat down. “M’lady,” he looked to the queen, “have you anything to add?”
The queen rose. “I agree with my husband, but above all,” she sniffed, “I wish for my family to be united.” She wiped her eyes as she sat down.
“I understand,” the chairman replied softly. “Now, if the three of you would adjourn to the anteroom, the committee will discuss this matter and vote on the best course of action.”
Mr. Brutish escorted them to an adjoining room and offered them beverages. As they waited, the sounds of yelling, thumping, and even cursing burst through the walls. It was a long time before Mr. Brutish finally returned.
Once they had taken their seats again, Dudge resumed the podium. “After much debate among our members, we could not reach a consensus. So it falls to me to make the final decision. Based upon the fact that there has been no significant change over the last one hundred years, it seems pointless to continue the test, so I am choosing to complete it and use our resources elsewhere.”
“No!” Imogenia howled.
The queen reached over and gently squeezed the king’s arm.
“You can’t do that!” Imogenia cried, burying her face in her hands.
Holding up his hand, Felius Dudge continued, “However—”
“I voted to continue the beta test!” interjected Sine Ster, Deputy Undersecretary of Hades, a firy fellow.
“So did I!” exclaimed Patty Amnul.
“However!” Dudge repeated, attempting to restore order.
After several minutes of chaos, the chairman floated over the table and yelled, “Enough!”
The room began to quiet.
Everyone’s eyes turned to Imogenia as she let out a sob. The king reached over to comfort her.
“Don’t touch me!” she snarled, pulling her hand away.
“If you would all be quiet and let me finish,” continued Dudge.
“Oh, all right, finish your yapping,” pined Dons
ay Hat.
“What I have been trying to say is, we will conclude the beta test. However, this does not mean the curse will be immediately lifted.”
The room quieted.
“Because the initiator of the curse is opposed to its removal, the king will need to prove beyond a reasonable doubt that the subject has repented, which is the main issue,” the chairman concluded.
Murmurs filled the room. The king studied the speaker as he turned and addressed him. “Take as long as you need to develop a plan. When you are ready you may present it to us for approval.”
The king nodded. “That’s fair.”
A month later, the king, queen, and Imogenia appeared before the committee.
King Hercalon IV rose and glided to the podium. He scanned the curious faces and observed a smattering of encouraging smiles interspersed among scowls. Growling emanated from one committee member. “You have set before me a most challenging task,” he began. “You will agree it is difficult to prove beyond a reasonable doubt the innermost thoughts and motives of a man, yet this is what you have charged me to do. I cannot.”
Several frowns lightened.
“However, I spent the last month studying at the library of Oomaldee and discovered something relevant to this situation. There exists precedent from long ago about lifting unwanted restrictions in what’s called the Time of Choosing regulations.”
Murmurs echoed about the chamber.
“Quite the little scholar, isn’t he?” Andreas Shark smirked.
“The regulations had a section specifically about removing curses. They said a curse can either be lifted by the one casting it, or it can be fulfilled by another if the initiator refuses. If the fulfillment option is chosen, the initiator of the curse must specify a challenge to be fulfilled in the land the curse plagues. The one seeking to overturn the restriction must select a representative to act on his behalf, but not just anyone. With curses, the representative must be a child, the essence of innocence, from the line of the one seeking to remove it. If the child is successful, the curse is satisfied and must be removed.”
A chorus of grumbling rose and Imogenia harrumphed.
Felius Dudge interrupted. “It seems to me there are potentially grave consequences. What happens if the child is not successful?”
The king nodded. “You are correct, Chairman. If the child does not succeed in the mission, he will die and the legacy of the one attempting to fulfill the curse will be forever altered.”
Several committee members gasped.
“That’s barbaric!” Patty Amnul exclaimed.
“But what about you, sir? Is your legacy your primary concern?” Brother Innocence of Religious Affairs chimed in, raising his bushy brows.
“What about the child? Is it just…expendable?” Delia Cat questioned, pulling her silvery horn-rimmed glasses forward to the tip of her nose and peering over.
The king held up his hands. “Thank you for that warning, Mr. Dudge.” He paused and glanced over to his queen who sat with her head bowed. “I have thought this through very carefully over the last month. In no way do I consider my descendent ‘expendable,’ Ms. Cat. On the contrary, all life is precious and deserves to live without restraint from a curse. Believe me when I say I have searched exhaustively for another solution, but an alternative escapes me. I learned from my father that when I assumed the throne, there would be times the interests of my subjects would precede my own.”
The king paused and the room quieted.
“This is one of those times,” the sovereign finally continued, slowly shaking his head. “I must act. There is no other way.”
Archie Angeles, Deputy Oversecretary of Peace Paradise, smiled empathetically, and Gladys Blenda of Transition Services nodded.
“While you seem to have made your choice, let me warn you,” Felius Dudge cautioned, “under the Time of Choosing regulations you referenced, once you make a formal declaration of your intent, your decision cannot be reversed. Consider this carefully before you say something you regret.”
The monarch nodded. “Thank you for that, Mr. Dudge, but I am compelled to declare: distinguished members of this committee, I choose to fulfill the curse with the life of my descendent as the price, if necessary.”
“Oh blazes!” yelled Sine Ster.
Donsay Hat stood. “Mr. Shark, surely there’s some legal precedent to counter this?”
Everyone fell silent and several looked hopefully to Andreas Shark. “I hate to see the curse lifted, it’s such a crafty invention. But what this do-gooder has asserted is correct. Hopefully, another newcomer to the afterlife will request a curse shortly. Watching commoners suffer under the curse has brightened many a day for me.”
Murmuring overwhelmed the room.
“Order!” yelled Felius Dudge. “Order!”
It took several minutes, but the committee members finally came to order. The chairman cleared his throat. Looking at the king, he solemnly declared, “Sir, seeing as you have chosen this irreversible option, I now call upon Imogenia to stipulate the challenge for your heir.”
The king returned to his seat and Imogenia, who had been fuming, rose and approached the podium.
“We’re with you!” yelled Patty Amnul.
“Make it diabolical,” growled Sine Ster.
She glanced around the room before beginning. “Thank you all for your support. I appreciate it…more than you know.” Then, looking at Felius Dudge, she choked out, “The challenge…”
Everyone sat on the edge of their seat, eyes glued to the young lady.
“The challenge…King Abaddon of the Land of Hadession has attacked Oomaldee many times, in many ways, over many years. I don’t expect he will ever stop. He must be killed!”
Her parents’ mouths dropped open as the room erupted.
“Well done, Miss!” yelled Donsay Hat.
“Hercalon will regret his choice!” crowed Tor Nado. “I can’t wait to spin this in the newspapers.”
“He will be quite a match.” Noel Movin of the Transportation Department thoughtfully rubbed his chin and nodded.
“Indeed he will. Indeed he will,” gloated Delia Cat.
Felius Dudge took the podium again. “Thank you, Imogenia. And now, King Hercalon IV, what child from your descendants will you name to accomplish this task?”
The king reached over and patted his queen’s arm before rising slowly and returning to the podium. Grasping its edges firmly, he began, “You have set a formidable task, Imogenia, for you know how we pursued that villain during my reign but never succeeded in destroying him.”
Imogenia nodded, the corners of her mouth rising.
“Nevertheless, I shall not shrink from the challenge, for ridding the kingdom of the effects of the curse as well as Abaddon’s evil will multiply the benefit to my subjects.”
Imogenia scowled.
“Based upon the contentious nature of this hearing, I can anticipate one or two of you may attempt to refute the results when my heir succeeds.”
Grumbling filled the chamber.
Tap, tap, tap-tap-tap, tap-tap.
“I’m pleased your secretary is making a complete transcript. I’d like a copy when we are finished,” the king requested.
The secretary, Ms. Morose, nodded politely, adding several more keystrokes.
“So that the fulfillment is beyond question, I will choose an heir of my lineage, but not just any child. I will choose a child who has not yet been born and, therefore, has had no exposure to this conflict, making him the pinnacle of innocence.”
“It’ll take awhile to begin if you’re waiting on a child who hasn’t been born to come of age,” commented Donsay Hat.
“Innocence and integrity are my primary concerns, ma’am. I do not want this fulfillment to come under legal questioning once it is complete—” he cleared his throat, “—like some cases I’ve heard about.” He glanced over at Andreas Shark. “I do not want this dragged out in litigation for years.”
“Suit yourself,” replied Donsay, raising her eyebrows.
“And who will bear such a child?” inquired Felius Dudge.
“Emily Ferrin.” The sovereign glanced about, as if expecting objections. When none came he continued, “Three years ago she married a man named Fred Smithson. They live in a different land, the land of LakeHillsTexas. They have a one-year-old daughter, Madison. My sources tell me Emily wants to have another child.”
“You’re going outside the bounds of Oomaldee? This is crazy! How’d she even get there?” fired Sine Ster.
“This is unheard of!” bellowed Tor Nado.
“As long as she is related,” overruled Felius Dudge.
“She is,” affirmed the king.
“Then I will submit a request to the Ancient One,” the chairman continued, silencing all conversation.
“Does this matter need to go that high?” questioned Delia Cat.
“This is an issue involving creating life in a land beyond our own, not to mention eliminating evil. I know of no matter with more profound significance than this.”
“But…the Ancient One,” Delia pressed. Several committee members fidgeted.
“What is your concern?”
“The Ancient One is so…so…”
“Are you concerned your motives will be revealed?” the king intoned, flicking his eyebrows.
“How dare you!” shouted Donsay Hat.
Felius Dudge raised his hands. “Need I remind you, this committee was appointed to uphold justice? If the Ancient One chooses to end the curse, we will not prevent it. If he decrees that it continue, it will. It is not for us to challenge wisdom.”
None of the members spoke.
The chairman continued, “And now, four simple rules that are to be observed with regard to the child and your son, King Hercalon. First, you may not reveal yourself in bodily form at any time. Second, you may not scare your heir or your son, or use force of any kind to get them to act. Third, you may not rescue them from physical danger. And last, you may not tell them you are helping break the curse. Is that clear?”
“I understand,” replied the king.
Before anyone had a chance to complain, Felius Dudge quickly declared, “This meeting is adjourned!”
The room erupted in grumbling and muttering once more.
The king looked at his queen and gave a weak smile. “It’ll all work out, dear.”
Donsay Hat, Delia Cat, and Patty Amnul hastened to surround Imogenia, who had been sitting quietly.
“Dudge didn’t set any rules for you,” Donsay whispered.
“I know,” Imogenia replied, smirking.
“Good girl,” encouraged Delia.
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