by Ella James
Julia rolled her eyes. “Oh, I don’t know, the hidden health benefits of the cinnamon roll?”
“Longevity.” He winked.
“How long do you think your lifespan is?”
One dark brow arched; he looked surprised. “You serious?”
“Um, yeah?”
He gave her a little mocking smile. “From what I gather…pretty long.”
*
The Interstate poured them onto a worn East L.A. four-lane, the kind of place where people staggered down the road in hooded sweatshirts with smoke clouds hovering around their heads.
Funnily, it wasn’t the people or the burned-out buildings that bothered Julia most, but the telephone poles. They were haggard and rotten, like burned trees, their thin black wires sagging between gas stations and liquor stores.
Julia studied everything, scanning the streets for danger the way Cayne did. Her breath hitched when, for a moment, she saw a familiar-seeming biker just out of the corner of her eye. Julia turned, but he was gone.
Cayne didn’t seem to have noticed. As he turned onto a small street lined with stucco homes, Julia tried to decide whether she should mention anything. She decided no.
“So tell me about her.”
“Rosa? She’s Touched.”
“By an Angel?”
“No, she’s human—and not Stained.”
Julia giggled nervously. “We have got to get you in front of a television.”
“Why?”
As she explained her joke, Cayne pulled into the drive of a pink stucco house with a yard of lush green grass tucked neatly around a cement porch. Julia followed Cayne to the door, and when he knocked, she felt each beat of his knuckles in her bones.
It occurred to her that this woman might tell her something awful. Maybe she really could see—Julia could swear she felt an “otherworldly” vibe from somewhere within the house—and maybe she’d see Julia’s death. Or Cayne’s.
She glanced at him. His hard face was serene. That, for some reason, made her more nervous.
Before she had time to really work her stomach into knots, the door swooshed open, revealing the largest man Julia had ever seen. He was gigantic—easily more than eight feet tall and wider than a refrigerator. He stooped through the doorway and nodded at Cayne.
“She’s waiting for you.”
Definitely. Not. Human. His voice was far too deep. Like, from the darkest depths of the earth deep.
As Julia calculated her escape route, Cayne knelt right there on the stoop and began unlacing his shoes. She was about to ask him what he was doing when she noticed two other pairs by the door; one was gigantic. Julia smiled nervously at their host and bent to work off her All-Stars. “A little warning, please,” she hissed.
Cayne looked at her oddly. “Sorry.”
They followed the big, Hispanic guy inside, where the air smelled like lemons and spice. He led them to the heart of the house, past a small green and white kitchen and a sunflower-themed bedroom. They found Rosa in a sitting room comfortingly devoid of psychic-looking stuff.
When Julia saw the seer, she felt some of the butterflies in her stomach fly away. Rosa looked…normal. She wore a white sundress and sat in a purple recliner, her short, plump legs crossed at the ankles. When Julia saw Rosa’s eyes, she gaped. They were crossed. Like, so crossed there was no way that they worked.
Her suspicion was confirmed when Rosa greeted Cayne with an outstretched arm. She kissed his cheek and nodded at Julia. “You brought one of the Stained with you.”
“The Stained?” He seemed to be chewing on the word.
“There are other names, but most Nephilim use that one,” Rosa said.
Julia cleared her throat, and he said, “Her name is Julia. She has questions.”
The seer nodded. “I could have predicted that.”
Julia glanced nervously at Cayne, who rolled his eyes. Rosa chuckled. “You need to relax, honey.”
How much, exactly, could this blind seer see? “I’m trying.”
Rosa shook her head. “This’ll wait until tomorrow. You’re too tense, and I believe you could use a good night’s rest on a comfortable mattress.” The giant reappeared, squeezing through the open doorway. Julia stepped back as the massive guy lumbered to Rosa’s chair. He lifted the seer into his arms and cradled her as if she were a baby. Julia noticed that the older woman’s legs swayed limply.
“When I lost my sight, I lost my legs, too,” she said. “Most of them, anyway. This is Malachi.”
The big guy said nothing as the seer affectionately rubbed his cheek. He swooped out the doorway, and Cayne extended a hand for Julia.
“You okay?” he whispered.
“I think so.”
Cayne squeezed her fingers and offered a small smile. “I think she likes you.”
Bemused, Julia followed him back through the house to a small, pink living room. Its large windows were open, letting in warm air and the muted sounds of the neighborhood at play. Rosa was waiting on a faux leather couch. Julia settled on a matching love seat. Cayne stood beside her.
“There’s no need for that here,” Rosa fussed. “If anything comes, I’ll see it.”
“An extra lookout won’t hurt,” Cayne said.
“Except my pride,” Rosa muttered. She turned her attention to Julia, who fidgeted in her seat. “You must be hungry. Malachi is fixing rice and beans.”
“Thanks, but you don’t have to.”
Rosa smiled. “I know I don’t.” She wagged her finger. “Now relax.”
Julia ducked her head to catch her breath. “I’m sorry. I just feel…overwhelmed.”
“I understand.” Rosa jerked a thumb at Cayne. “Especially if you’ve been with this guy.”
Julia smiled at his scowl. “He hasn’t been so bad.”
“I’m sure that’s not true.”
Cayne glared at the seer. “Our hostess is too kind.”
“And ready to show off. Honey, let me see that arm.”
Hesitantly, Julia held out her cast-bound wrist. Rosa glanced at Cayne. He cut the cast away with his dagger, and the seer began to massage the swollen skin. Julia winced.
“You heal fast,” the woman said as Julia’s skin warmed under her hands. Julia felt a thousand pricks around her bone and yelped. Rosa released her. “You’ll need to wear that sling for another day or two. But that should help.”
Julia moved her wrist. It throbbed dully, but the biting pain was gone. “How did you do that?”
“You’re not the only person who can mend bones,” Rosa said.
“Are you like me?” The seer shook her head, and Julia swallowed a bubble of disappointment. “Thanks.”
Rosa waved. “My price is a story.” She folded her hands and rested them in her lap. “Now, how did you two meet?”
After glancing at Cayne, Julia launched into an account of their first meeting. With a little prompting from Rosa, she told the whole story of her journey, from finding her home in flames to the fight in San Francisco. She even told Rosa about the frightening dreams that sometimes woke her.
Julia was amazed that she spoke so openly with a complete stranger, even more so when she entered the murky Feelings Zone. Julia talked about the loneliness she had felt in the Memphis pecan warehouse, surrounded by a million strangers. It was a gale-force emotion, but one she had known in smaller bursts her whole life.
She told the seer about Harry and Suzanne, her brief respite from the storm. She missed them so much she sometimes thought her chest would split open, but even with them she had know she was different. There had been a sense, even in their warm home, that she didn’t belong.
And then Cayne came, and everything changed.
For the first time in her life, Julia felt comfortable. Not comfortable with him, at least not at first, but comfortable with herself. She had wondered before what it was about Cayne that made her feel that way. She realized as she spoke to Rosa: He accepted her. Sure, there were probably things
he’d change about her if he could—she laughed when Rosa asked what he could possibly dislike—but he accepted who she was at her core. And if she wasn’t reading too much into it, he even liked it.
Julia took a deep breath when she was finished. It was like she was waking up after a long, peaceful sleep. She felt wonderful.
Until she remembered everything she’d said. She covered her mouth in horror and glanced behind her. Cayne was gone!
She tried to control her imagination, but every time she blinked she saw his eyes widen in horror at her until-then secret feelings. What if he thought she was a freak? What if he told her he didn’t feel the same way? What if—
“He stepped out shortly after you began,” Rosa said.
Julia sighed.
The older woman smiled. “I take it you haven’t told him how you feel.”
“No,” Julia said tiredly. She needed to be on her guard. She was way too open with this woman. “There’s nothing to tell, anyway.”
Rosa smirked. “You forget who you’re talking to.”
“Really, there’s—”
“He can’t hear you.”
One of the things Julia had missed most during her journey with Cayne was girl talk. She could be forgiven if she was more open with the older woman than she might ordinarily be. And if Cayne trusted her, why couldn’t Julia?
“I don’t know what to tell him,” she said. “I don’t even know how I feel.”
Rosa clucked. “You’re an intelligent woman. I don’t believe you’re feelings are so mysterious.”
“It’s too confusing,” Julia moaned. “I’ve seen so many sides of him. Ones I really like. But I…” She shrugged. “I don’t know. It’s hard to explain.”
“It often is.”
“I feel good when I’m with him. And I feel…” Julia folded her arms. “It’s like before I knew him I felt everything through a blanket, and then he came and ripped it off.”
“And now you’re exposed?”
Julia rolled her eyes at the pathetic truth. “Sometimes I want the blanket back.”
“Oh, hush.” Rosa shooed her. “Who would prefer ignorance to experience?”
“Isn’t ignorance bliss?”
“Ignorance is drunkenness,” the seer chided. “You have experienced a lot, and it can seem, as you say, to be too much.”
“I don’t even know what of.”
“You’re afraid that you’re going to lose someone else important to you. You fear that he will be taken away.”
Julia nodded, embarrassed at her own transparency.
Rosa leaned across the small, glass-topped coffee table and touched Julia’s forehead. “Peace shall be yours. You have nothing to fear.”
“How? Samyaza still wants to kill me and I have no idea why. I don’t even know what I am.”
“And that frightens you?”
“Yes. And Cayne… I don’t know a whole lot about him, either.”
Rosa lowered her voice. “You will have the chance to learn, and you must remember to seize it when it comes. To truly love someone like Cayne, you must love all of them.”
The older woman glanced out the window. “Did you know that Malachi is my son?” Julia’s jaw dropped, and Rosa chuckled. “I suppose you didn’t. Cayne probably didn’t even mention him, did he?”
Julia shook her head, wondering if the woman had “seen” her reaction. When Rosa didn’t respond, Julia added, “He didn’t.”
“That’s like him, I suppose. Like all of them.”
“All of them? Wait, Malachi’s a Nephilim?”
Rosa nodded. “They don’t talk about each other. I don’t know why.” She sighed. “My son is one of the large ones. A blessing and a curse. If he had been Cayuzul’s size, they would have come for him.”
“Come for him?”
“That is what they do. When the child is young, they take him.” Rosa shivered. “Cayne was taken from his family, whoever they were. I suppose you know he is a Hunter?”
“Yes.”
Rosa smiled. “Malachi is not. He is what they call Waste. Too large to hide himself among people. The Waste are usually killed. But his conception helped open my gifts. I was able to hide him from them.”
Rosa’s face was a mask, but Julia could sense the sorrow and pride behind her voice.
“He grew fast—they tend to do that—and he grew strong. He was as tall as me when he entered kindergarten.” She smiled softly. “He was six feet tall before he turned ten.”
Julia chewed on her lip. She already had a vague sense that this walk down memory lane didn’t end happily.
“I think my motivation was guilt. I gave myself to a half-demon, and my son had to suffer for it.” Rosa shook her head. “Regardless, I vowed the moment Malachi was born that I wouldn’t tell him about his father. That he would grow up with no knowledge of his other nature.
“Of course he wasn’t normal. That was obvious to anyone that looked. He was human and something more, and in ignoring that something more, I blinded myself to all that my son was. The good and the bad.” Rosa turned from the window, and fixed Julia with a sightless stare. “His second year in high school, I arranged a prom date with one of the girls from our old neighborhood.” She smiled sadly. “Malachi was nervous, but so exited. I had saved for nearly an entire year to have a tuxedo made, and he looked so handsome in it.”
Julia glanced about the room, expecting but not finding a picture of a younger and maybe shorter giant in dress clothes.
“The young lady’s last beau and a few of his friends attacked Malachi as he was walking up her drive. I had sensed something would happen, just a few minutes after my son left. I ran as fast as I could to the girl’s house, but I was too late.” Rosa took a deep breath. “Malachi killed two of them, and when I tried to intervene, he turned on me.”
The room was silent as a tomb. Even the sounds drifting from outside had ceased.
“One part human, one part not. The part that isn’t, the part I ignored, the part my son wasn’t aware of, it came out that night.
“Malachi wasn’t prepared for his rage. He had not learned to control it. Cayne has. But that part of him is still there. The demon.”
Julia stilled. The demon. Cayne was violent and didn’t seem to have what most people would call a normal moral compass, but he seemed about as demonic as the woman before her.
“What are you trying to tell me?”
Rosa smiled. “I don’t mean to frighten you or to steer you one way or the other. Cayne is a wonderful man.” She leaned forward. “But you must understand that to truly love him, you must love all of him: the part that is human and the part that isn’t.”
Chapter Twenty-Two
Rosa sank back into her couch, story over, warning given. “Now, enough doom and gloom. Why don’t you see if the boys are ready for dinner?”
Dumbly, Julia rose and walked to the kitchen. She was shaken out of her dark stupor by the sight of Cayne wearing a pink apron and stirring a pot on a stove.
“Hey.”
He spun and nearly knocked over the bowl. He glanced down at the apron and immediately began to untie the string around his neck.
“Keep it,” Julia said. “It’s cute.”
“Cute?”
She nodded.
“Is everything okay?”
Julia stretched her mouth into what she hoped was a smile and said, “Yeah. Keep the apron on.”
Cayne wore it through dinner, which he, she, Rosa and Malachi enjoyed in the sitting room.
Julia spent most of the meal considering Rosa’s story. And her advice. She wanted to know Cayne. To know all of him: the good and the bad.
But how could she, when Cayne didn’t even know? If the vague pictures Julia had seen were any indication, his missing memories weren’t very pleasant. She wondered if he would change if he found them. The thought made her feel slightly sick.
Cayne laughed at something Rosa said, and Julia turned her attention back to the conv
ersation. The seer was telling the story of the first time he visited her, almost three years before. He had barged in unannounced, looking for a seer, and encountered Malachi instead. The two tore up the kitchen before Rosa broke up the fight.
“I made them fix it, too. Took three days. Cayne had to rebuild the cabinets,” she recalled. “Next time he pretends to be tough, you just hit his thumb with a hammer. He’ll cry like a little baby.”
Julia forced a smile as Cayne defended his manliness. Malachi, who other than his greeting at the door a couple of hours before hadn’t spoken all evening, laughed softly.
Where was his monster? She glanced at Cayne. Where was his? She wanted to see the demon. Was almost desperate to.
Julia spent another hour with the three in the living room, but the more stories Rosa told the heavier Julia’s eyelids became. She interrupted one with a huge yawn and, blushing, apologized.
The seer smiled and pointed to a door behind her. “You need to sleep. Go through the bath. The guest room is ready.”
Cayne stood, but Julia pushed him back down. “It’s just the other side of the bathroom.”
He frowned. “The moment we let our guard down—”
“Cayne, just chill.” She hoped she didn’t sound rude, but she was too tired to make sure she didn’t. “Have fun.”
He seemed uncertain, so Julia looked to Rosa for help. “Stay up with me for another hour, at least,” the seer said.
Reluctantly, Cayne agreed.
The little bedroom was white, airy, and comfortable. Feeling relaxed for the first time since that terrible night in Memphis, Julia cracked one of the windows and settled into bed. But once she was warm under the covers, her sleepiness vanished. She had too many things running through her mind, and she didn’t have the energy to deal with them. Instead, she tried to catch snatches of chatter from the living room.
When Cayne entered, probably an hour later on the dot, Julia held her breath. For some reason, she didn’t want him to know she was awake—not yet, anyway. He hovered at the edge of the queen-sized bed, and she could feel his gaze on her. Then he moved to shut the window.
Casually as she could, Julia rolled onto her side and inched her left eye open. He was staring at the swatch of glass visible between the two curtains. A slither of pale light cut his face in half.
“Cayne?”
“Yes?” He didn’t startle. Of course he had known she was awake.
Julia bit her lip, suddenly unsure. “Um…you seem to like Rosa a lot.”
