by Bex Dane
Married. Celiana Sharshinbaev. Cecelia Boujani.
I haven't slept with him in six years.
She may have been married to him, but she didn't have sex with him, and she didn't love him.
The din of the crowd broke through the mountain of sand encasing me. They smiled and clapped excitedly.
The men's faces changed to envy, greed, lust. The most disgusting of them all was Maksim and his father. They were so proud of their Cecelia. They owned her. She was their prized possession.
I turned my attention back to her. A brilliant tiara perched on her forehead. Her curves were accented in a beaded aqua-marine gown with long sleeves, just a hint of her cleavage showing.
She held a glossy beauty contestant's smile on her face. Plastic and strained. But her eyes always told the story. Unfocused and lifeless. Dead inside. A Veranistaad princess with a soul tied to a little Napoleon.
We made eye contact.
She stood frozen in place.
Yes, baby. It's me. I'm here.
I nailed her gaze from under my cowboy hat.
Her eyes flared and she took a stuttering step back. Her sculpted brows arched, and her lips twisted. Slowly, awareness and tears filled her eyes. Black triangles formed above her cheeks and smeared to her lips like a morose clown. She held her ramrod strict posture but her face gave everything away.
Maksim looked at her for the first time since she'd taken the stage. He squinted and stared at her. He was oblivious to her until she was about to fall apart.
He grasped her bicep and spun her around. No one else could see, but his fingers pinched her hard as he whispered into her ear. She winced and the stiff frame she'd so bravely held up finally broke. Her shoulders collapsed and her hands flew to her face as her body convulsed.
He yanked CeCe off the stage.
She'd ruined his big moment.
He didn't care why she was crying.
And I knew then.
He planned to hurt her.
She'd be punished for this.
His caged bird sang too loudly tonight.
And she'd pay for it.
I had to get to her before he did, but I couldn't run in the crowd or draw attention to her, so I made my way over to the place I saw her leave.
Torrez grabbed my arm. He gave me some take it easy crap but I couldn't process his words. She needed me. Nothing else mattered.
Chapter 21
Cecelia
"Celiana, gather yourself."
Maksim's disapproving voice poked my consciousness, but I didn't hear.
Zook?
Surely my imagination had gone rogue.
Zook could not be standing at the edge of the crowd.
His pretty blue eyes couldn't be staring at me from under his Stetson.
After months of not sleeping, constant crying, and dreaming of him, I'd lost my sanity. I couldn't separate reality from fantasy.
With each blink, I expected the mirage to turn to vapor. His stunning face would be replaced with a mean oil crony of Maksim's. I squinted through the haze.
Yes.
It was him.
Zook in all his glory was here. His eyes were on me. Angry and confused, but nevertheless passionately looking at me. He stood in the room with the authority only he could carry. Only Zook would wear a tuxedo and cowboy hat. He'd insist on it.
Zook had found me. He was here for me. To offer a last-minute lifeline in the void of loneliness.
The blood in my veins calcified. Moving became impossible. Every cell in my body ached to run to him, jump in his arms, and kiss every inch of his face. But like always, the concrete block of fear around my feet held me down.
My body was petrified like a tree in an old wood forest. Tears gushed from my eyes like rain, full of regret and longing for the only man I've ever loved.
Maksim's hand pinched my arm and broke through the final bit of self-control I'd managed. I turned my back to the crowd, bent over, and cried into my hands.
Zook had come to save me, and I couldn't go to him. Maksim would kill him. He'd kill me. We couldn't do this.
The pain in my arm became scorching. Maksim's anger leeched off him like fire. "Get off this stage right now, you idiot!" He tugged me and I stumbled. He pulled me off the stage to a small rectangular dressing area behind the curtain. As I straightened, the smack of his palm thumped my cheek. "Gather yourself!"
I rubbed my face and breathed through the shocked numbness as the burn spread out. He hit me? Here?
Maksim never hit me in public. He'd struck my friend Kurt from boarding school in public when I snuck out to meet him in Portul. But my beatings were always behind closed doors.
Tonight, if I didn't stop crying, he'd strike me again. I needed to stop crying, but I just couldn't. Zook came all this way. For me. He saw me with Maksim. Zook had seen me shamed and presented like property. He knew my secret. I'd hurt him and lost him forever.
One, two, three.
Three deep breaths.
Put on a show.
Keep appearances.
Fall apart later.
I straightened my spine and faced Maksim through my tears. "I- I'm so sorry. The emotion of the wedding got the best of me. It's such a glorious day." I wiped my face and sniffed back the tears. And I was honestly sorry. Not that I'd humiliated Maksim and the royal family, but I'd drawn so much attention. My tears made Zook a target.
"It's far too late for apologies. Do you know how much money is on the line here? Investors must see me and my clan as indestructible. You represent the ideal they aspire to be. And they will give me money to try to get there. Yet you weep like a fool in front of them!"
I stared at the floor and dropped my shoulders. I hated him, yet some sick part of me still wanted his approval. What a complete and utter waste of a person I'd become. I never should've dragged Zook into this.
"Are you not happy here? I do not beat you. You are not raped."
He'd warped the truth so much he believed it himself. But the truth was before I left for Hale, he beat me and forced sex on me each time I came home for boarding school on breaks. The intercourse stopped and the beatings became less frequent when I went away to Hale and he trusted me to obey, but that didn't take away the fact it happened.
He pointed his ugly finger at my nose. "You have a world-class education."
That I will never use.
"I gave you a shopping allowance so you could have your couture clothes."
He'd only done that the last two years, probably to appease me because he sensed my independence growing.
"And still you stand before me ungrateful. I saved you from a family who didn't want you. Now you are a princess. I can return you to the streets at my whim."
He used that one all the time because he knew it struck my deepest insecurity. My family had abandoned me. "I am grateful, Maksim. This is my family. I don't wish to leave." It wasn't true, but I knew what I needed to say to mollify him.
"You were always such a good girl. Since you've returned, you've been disobedient."
Since I'd been back, I'd hidden in my room claiming I was ill. I didn't do any work. I ate my meals in my room.
He gripped my arm and squeezed. "You remember how we treat disobedience?"
How could I forget? The image of him and Yegor raping a killing a young girl burned constantly in my brain. It guided all my actions and my choices since I'd witnessed it at age fifteen. Soraya and I were tied to chairs and forced to watch as Maksim and his brothers gang-raped and killed her. She was meant to be Pavel's, but she fought too hard. Even after they raped her, she wouldn't submit. So they beat her to death. I watched her die. Maksim told us it would be us and anyone we got too close to.
"Clean your face and return to the celebration." His eyes scanned me up and down with disdain. "If you can't do that, I don't need you anymore. We'll dispose of you the same way."
I believed him. I believed he'd rape and kill me, and if he knew about Zook, he'd make Zook wa
tch. "Yes, Maksim. Thank you." Yes is the only thing he wanted to hear from me.
"You will spend tonight in isolation to ponder what it's like to be alone."
I expected that. I hated and loved isolation. The room had no windows. No one brought me food. It was dark except for a dim bathroom bulb. But Maksim rarely came to visit me when I was in there. So I was safe for a short time.
"Never do this again." He stormed through the curtain to return to the wedding.
"Yes, Maksim." How many times had I said that in my life?
Yes, Maksim.
My mangled reflection in a metal beam holding up the stage startled me.
I'd become a crying, begging hollow of a woman. Where was the woman I was with Zook?
"Psst."
I gasped and turned to the sound of the noise.
Zook held the curtain open and shushed me with his finger. My heart jumped out of my chest. We were so close. The heat of his energy hit me like a force field.
His hand reached for me, cupping the cheek Maksim struck. "Did he hurt you?" he whispered, his eyes glowing a livid dark blue.
My head tilted into his palm.
I placed my hand on his face and caressed the stubble on his chin.
It was the closest to a hug I could risk. And it felt so good. To touch his warm skin. To look into his fierce face and take in his beautiful features one more time. One last time.
"You shouldn't be here." I dropped my hand.
"Yes, I should. I'm here for you."
I knew it. He came all this way for me.
"How did you find me? How did you get into the party?"
"Rogan found you. I built this place."
Oh my god. "You built the new palace?"
"I did. Was looking for you the whole time."
He built this palace to look for me? "No, Zook. Don't do this. Please, don't put yourself at risk for me."
"We are doing this. You don't belong here. You're leaving with me." His hand curled behind my neck and tugged me closer.
Memories of Zook and my love for him pulled me closer. Then the threats ambushed my brain. The gruesome image of the lifeless girl's bloody body on the floor. No. With all my might, I pulled away. "Go. This is so dangerous."
The disappointment in his eyes charred my soul. He expected me to say yes. I wanted to say yes.
"I'm not afraid." He spoke with such confidence. But I knew from a lifetime of dealing with Maksim, we couldn't win this one. Not alive.
"Leave now. Don't talk to me again." I hated to say it to him, but nothing had changed. I had to protect him.
I turned and ran from him—the man I love. I ran the other way to save him.
Chapter 22
In the shower of the isolation room, as I washed the makeup from my face and the spray from my hair, my mind raced through the events of the evening. Zook totally shocked me by being present at the wedding celebration. He just appeared like the magician from our date had teleported him here. At the sight of him, my vacant heart began to beat again. He looked so incredible and confident in a tuxedo. And his signature cowboy hat made me want to smile despite all the chaos around me. I couldn't believe it. Zook came all this way to save me. He worked, building this palace for months, hoping to find me. And what did I do? I ran away.
The moment I left him and returned to the celebration, the change began. I hated the woman I saw reflected in the metal beams of the stage. The woman who was so cruel, she'd hurt the man she loved. The last straw was when Maksim introduced me to Zook, and I had to pretend I didn't know him. Maksim praised my pedigree like I was cattle for sale, and Zook vibrated with barely controlled fury. Zook stalked away, and I knew then.
He'd given up.
I'd lost him forever.
The pain of that knowledge caused my conviction to shift. Like someone had cast a spell on me, suddenly, the reasons I'd pushed him away didn't seem insurmountable anymore.
At that moment, I made the decision; I would never cause Zook pain like that again. Maksim's threats would no longer work on me. Let him beat me. If he tried to kill Zook, I'd kill him first. Anything was better than the abyss in my soul caused by denying Zook's love.
A dark form entered the bathroom, shaking me from my thoughts. I slammed myself into the corner of the shower and ducked down, but there was nowhere to hide. If Maksim was here to punish me further, I had no way to defend myself. But I'd vowed to start fighting back, so I had to think of something. I could scream, but no one would come help. The shadow moved closer to the opaque glass of the shower door. I grabbed my razor and tucked it into my palm. I'd wait until he was vulnerable and slice it over his balls.
The door slid open. My heart thumped against my ribcage as the water fell in my eyes. I covered my breasts with my hands and turned my head down. When he touched my shoulder, I flinched. "Don't touch me."
"Look at me."
Zook's voice? Had he found me again? He hadn't given up? No, of course he hadn't. Zook would never give up on me no matter how badly I treated him.
I looked up at Zook standing naked in front of me. My eyes traced from his toes, up the hair of his strong muscular legs, his cock, not hard but growing thicker. The sculpted muscles of his abdomen leading to his broad chest and manly spattering of hair there. Everything tight, bulging, and intense.
When I got to his face, I saw his brow drawn through the drops of water that fell from his hair, his gaze steady on me.
He offered me a hand. A lifeline. I took it. I finally took it and it felt right. Zook filled the holes in my heart and I took his hand.
"Stand up, darlin'." His voice felt like a warm raincoat, reaching me through the middle of a storm.
I dropped the razor, and he helped me stand up. His arms wrapped behind my back, smashing my front up against his in a wet smack. He gazed at me for a moment before his lips crashed onto mine. Our mouths opened, his tongue dug in and god, god, it was divine. My fingers slid over his slick chest, clawing at his massive shoulders, trying to pull him so close, he'd never leave.
He ended the kiss and peered down at me. "You're married to him?" A muscle ticked in his jaw, and his hands were rough on my hips.
"Yes." I looked to the side, unable to handle the power of his gaze.
"You don't love him," he said, rather than asked as he tipped my head up to look at him again.
"No. I don't love him. Never did." He needed to know. I didn't love Maksim. Please, believe me.
He nodded like he expected me to say that. "Why are you married to him?"
Oh boy. Time to come clean. God, this was humiliating to admit. I'd never told anyone before. Not even Soraya. But Zook had earned my trust, and I owed him this. I took a deep breath and closed my eyes as I spoke. "Ivan purchased me for him. To play the role of his wife." There. Now he knew the truth.
My eyes opened in time to watch his head snap back and his eyes flare an even more brilliant blue. He shook the water from his head and growled. "He purchased you?"
"For Maksim. Ivan forced me to marry him when I turned fifteen." I pushed the hair back from my face and tried to focus on him through the pending tears, the noise of the shower, and the loud thumping of my heart. What if Zook rejected me? What if Maksim was right? No one else would want me.
"Does he force you to sleep with him?" His voice broke.
"No. Not anymore. Not for many years. It's all fake. To impress his oil friends."
He kissed down my neck and back up to my lips. "God, you're so beautiful. Damn, I love you. I would never force you to do anything you didn't want."
My tears mixed with the water. "I know. I know. You don't need to say it."
"You don't want to stay with him." Again, he stated rather than asked because he knew me.
"No. God. No. I don't. I hate him."
"And you still love me." His deep words rumbled from the back of his throat.
I nodded and clutched his shoulders. I loved him more than life itself. I wanted to be with him. I'd give anyt
hing to be with him. I need to say it. He needed to hear it. "I love you. I've always loved you. I never stopped. I'm so sorry I hurt you. I hurt us. I was scared. Trying to protect you from all this."
"I know." He pressed his lips to my ear and tightened his arms around me. "We both made mistakes. I never should've let you leave."
"There were guards at my apartment after graduation. I had no choice."
"It was all fucked up. We're together now. Will you fight for us? Don't let fear stop you. Because we can win. I promise you. Say it. Say you'll fight for us."
The warm water collected in the places we were pressed hard together.
I looked up at him and hoped he saw the honesty in my eyes. "I will."
"You will?" It hurt that he was surprised by my answer, but I guess I deserved that after saying no for so long.
I nodded quickly. "I'll fight for you. I'll fight for us." It felt good to finally say the words that would empower me.
"You won't be afraid?"
Yes, time to be brave. No more crying and hiding. "I will. I love you. I want to be with you. I'm sorry I waited so long. I need you. I want you. I'm ready."
"God yes, CeCe. Yes. Finally. Trust me. I'll get you out of here." Triumph, hope, and relief filled his words and his eyes.
"He's dangerous. He'll kill you without blinking. I've seen him murder a girl with his bare hands. He gets away with it too. No one holds him accountable for anything."
"I can defend myself. But promise me, if I tell you to run, you'll run. If I need to shoot Maksim, you let me."
"I promise. Just be careful."
"I will. We'll make it through. Together." Our hands roamed all over, touching and re-memorizing every bend and curve.
His hard cock pressed against my belly. I gripped it in my hand, tugging hard.
"God. Fuck." He kissed me deep, our tongues dancing and reaching. My body burned for him. My Zook. I needed him in me now. To reconnect. To feel whole again.
He walked us backward, and my spine hit the wall as he lifted my leg behind the knee, arching it up over his hip. Staring into my eyes, he guided his cock in. We both groaned and grunted as he sank in deeper, too much. It meant too much to me, to him. It meant everything. He kept his fiery gaze on my face, watching as I closed my eyes and let Zook overtake me. He seated himself deep inside me.
