He and Denise had dated a few years ago. He had broken it off because he knew it wouldn’t work out between them. She was heartbroken and he’d felt like a heel, but he knew what a good relationship should look like. He’d seen it in Zach and Grace’s marriage. Their closeness and connection was what he wanted for any future relationship. Denise was a great girl, just not the right girl.
“Anyhow, just thought I’d stop by. I guess…” She hesitated, and he cringed inwardly, preparing himself for what she was going to say. “I guess I was hoping we could go out riding.”
That wasn’t as bad as he thought it would be, but still, not a good idea.
“I doubt I’ll have time, Denise. With this wedding and the rodeos I have to hit yet…” He let the sentence trail off, hoping she would get the hint.
She gave him a forced smile, which showed him she caught it just fine.
“Okay. Well, good luck. Looks like you’re on your way to the championship.”
“One ride and one rodeo at a time,” he said.
Denise nodded, got on her horse, pulled her hat more snug on her head, turned, and rode off.
Elliot refused to turn around to catch Tricia’s reaction. Tricia had never cared for Denise. So he walked toward the barn, ducked around it, and hurried back to the shop where the wagon waited for him.
As he picked up the wrench he had been using to take the seat off the buggy he thought back to Kinsley’s appearance a few moments ago.
And he wondered why she had come to the shop. Maybe he’d have to find a reason to go the house and then, oh-so-casually, ask her.
Chapter 9
That came close to being a very dumb mistake. She had simply gone out to the shop to check on the progress of the wagon. That was all.
Was it really?
Kinsley clenched and unclenched her fists as she walked away, overly conscious of the hitch in her step. Overly conscious of how she looked in blue jeans compared to that stunning woman who had shown up on horseback. Of course this happened shortly after she had done that cute little thing with the horse. Petting it so sweetly. Even though deep inside she was terrified, she had overcome that. She had been proud of herself. And, she had to admit, thankful to Elliot for giving her that little push. For a moment, as she stood close to Seamus, she felt like maybe she could overcome this fear. A small step in the right direction.
And then the blonde bombshell showed up, moving easily on her horse, as if born there. Had she imagined how Elliot's eyes had lit up when he saw her? Didn't matter.
Give yourself a shake, she told herself. This is just God reminding you of why you shouldn't have anything to do with that guy.
But it still hurt. She had spent most of her teen years and adult life trying to prove that physical appearance wasn't the true measure of a person. She shouldn’t judge another woman the way she hoped not to be judged.
As she stepped inside the house, she heard the kids crying. They’d been quiet when she left, playing in the family room. But now it sounded like things weren't going well.
She followed the sound down the hallway to the bedrooms, and sure enough, Zach was sitting on the bed holding Cash on his lap, while Hope was sobbing her little heart out.
"I don't want to sleep," she cried. "Want Mommy."
"Mommy is busy," Zach said. "You lay down and have a nap, and as soon as you wake up you can go see her."
"I want to see Mommy too," Cash said.
"Later," Zach said. Kinsley could hear the desperation in his voice. He sounded like he was at his wits’ end. Then he looked up and saw Kinsley hovering in the doorway. "Are you busy?"
Kinsley hesitated, feeling like she should back away from the situation. She had been working on the wedding program, downloading graphics. It still needed to be put together, and later this afternoon she had to call the woman Faith was hoping would play for the wedding service. Someone named Marianne who played with Faith on the worship team at church.
But when she saw the lines bracketing Zach's mouth, she knew she couldn't just walk away.
"What you need me to do?"
"The kids just need to settle down. They don't want to sleep. And they're both exhausted. Can you try?” He looked so bereft that Kinsley couldn't find it in her heart to leave.
"Why don't you go, and I'll see what I can do?”
That was all the invitation Zach needed. He stood, still holding Cash, and handed him to Kinsley as she came around the end of the bed.
Kinsley planted her feet to get her balance, then took the little boy from him. She wavered a moment, but then sat on the bed.
"Oh, I'm so sorry," Zach said, holding his hand out toward her. "I forgot about… I never thought…"
Kinsley could see he was struggling. She also knew that Zach was just trying to be considerate.
"He's just heavier than I thought. It kind of threw me off."
"He is a chunk," Zach agreed, giving her a careful smile. "Are you sure you’ll be okay?"
Hope had stopped crying, obviously curious about this new development. She scooted closer to Kinsley, slipping her arm through hers.
"I think I’ll manage," Kinsley said. "I'll read them some stories. I imagine I just need to keep them occupied."
"A nap would be great," Zach said. "But we'll take what we can get."
"You can go now. I've got this under control."
Kinsley sounded more confident than she felt. But after being confronted with Denise and her obvious proficiency with a horse, she needed a win. If there was one thing she was good at, it was entertaining little kids.
At least that's what her sisters always told her when she flew to Ontario to visit them.
Zach closed the door behind him, and Kinsley was alone with the children.
"You my friend?” Hope asked.
“Absolutely," Kinsley assured her. "Are you sure you don't want to have a nap?"
Hope shook her head, keeping her eyes fixed on Kinsley's face. "Read a story?"
Kinsley chuckled, then nodded. If she could get them snuggled in bed to read to them, they might settle into sleep.
"I get the book," Cash called out, wiggling off Kinsley's lap.
"No I do," Hope retorted, scooting off the bed, toddling right behind him.
"Why don't you each get two books," Kinsley said. "And I'll read them to you."
A few minutes later, as Kinsley had hoped, they were curled up in the bed, one on each side of her. She was leaning against the headboard, holding the books as she read.
The kids had their arms tucked into hers, their heads leaning against her arm. It felt so domestic, so cozy.
Kinsley swallowed as she turned the page, unable to stop the feelings of melancholy that drifted over her.
When she and Drake got engaged, she had imagined scenes like this many times in her head. Sure, she had wanted to be a part of the wedding business that Drake and his mother ran. It was work she knew how to do. And work she was good at. It was a lucrative career in which she could use her business degree.
And yet, a part of her yearned for this as well. A home. Children. It was what her sisters had, and though she tried hard not to envy them, it was difficult not to feel a measure of bitterness against her old fiancé for taking away all those years of her life. For holding up her dreams while he chased his own. While he put her needs aside for his.
By the third book, the children’s heads grew heavy against her arms. She finished the story, letting her voice go quieter and quieter. And then she waited a few more minutes just to make sure. They were breathing deeply by now, and when she was sure they wouldn’t wake, she extricated herself from them, moving awkwardly across the bed.
She tucked them in, watching them for another moment, smiling at how innocent they looked. Rosy, chubby cheeks, waiting to be kissed. Dimpled hands curled up by their heads.
She walked slowly out of the room, gently closing the door behind her.
Zach was in his recliner, snoring quietly.
; Chuckling, Kinsley walked up the stairs to her bedroom where she usually worked. But wanting to keep close tabs on the children, she gathered up her laptop and her notes and brought them downstairs.
She spread everything out on the kitchen table and began working. A couple times she looked up, listening to make sure the children still slept. It felt very domestic, sitting here at the gallery table in a home that held sleeping children. A home that exuded warmth and welcome. However, even as she sat there enjoying the ambience, her thoughts drifted to Elliot. Had he and Denise gone riding?
And why did she care?
She cared, because for a moment as Elliot was encouraging her with Seamus she felt a spark between them. A connection she easily recognized as building attraction. Growing awareness. Yes he was good-looking, she would be a fool not to admit that. There was something else to him though. A vulnerability.
She shook her head. She was indulging in foolish thoughts. She clicked on the space bar, waking her laptop up.
And she got back to work, keeping her focus on what was in front of her.
Real and tangible plans. Not foolish dreams.
* * *
"So you didn't go riding with Denise?" Tricia teased Elliot as she scooped up the mashed potatoes at suppertime.
"I had work to do," Elliot grumbled. He didn't want to talk about Denise. Not with Kinsley sitting right across the table from him.
"She sure seemed like she wanted to go," Tricia continued. "Maybe she was hoping to light the old spark."
"Elliot has enough of those old sparks still smoldering around the country," Kane said. "I don't think he needs to go relighting any of them."
Though Kane’s grin showed Elliot he was joking, he also sensed an undercurrent of disapproval.
"I've got other things on my mind," Elliot returned.
"How's it coming with the wagon?” Faith asked. "You think you’ll have it done on time?"
"I'm sure I will. I'm no carpenter, but I'm handy with a sand blaster and a paintbrush."
The talk eased into the usual supper conversation. The wedding and how things were progressing.
"Have you heard from the photographer yet?” Kinsley asked.
"He told me he’d call me back tomorrow," Faith said.
"It would be nice to nail him down," Kinsley said. "I'd like to talk to him about how he wants to go about this."
"He shows up, he takes pictures," Faith said with a chuckle. "How hard can it be?”
"Well, there's a little more to it than that," Kinsley said. "Do you want family pictures, or do you want pictures of just you and Kane. Do you want casual pictures, or do you want formal pictures."
"Sounds like you know what you're talking about when it comes to wedding photography," Elliot said.
The entire suppertime, Kinsley had been avoiding his gaze. Though he tried to make eye contact with her, she never connected with him. He had to wonder if Denise had something to do with it. Things had been going just fine until she showed up.
"I know a few things," Kinsley said.
"A few things? Like I said, I’ve seen your pictures," Faith said. "You always do such an amazing job."
"Then why don't you get Kinsley to take pictures?" Elliot asked. He was determined to catch her attention. And as her frightened gaze swung to his, he clearly had.
"I'm not taking the pictures," Kinsley protested. "I'm not a professional photographer."
"We don't have to worry about that just yet," Faith said. "Are you able to come with me to look at the wedding dress tomorrow morning?”
"Of course," Kinsley said. “I’d love to.”
"Take your camera along," Faith added. "You may be no professional photographer, but I would love some pre-wedding pictures of the dress."
Kinsley smiled, and Elliot could see that despite her protests, she was looking forward to the idea.
Hope was banging her fork against the plate, as if looking for attention.
Kinsley gently took the utensil away from her, smiling as she did so. "Do you want more to eat?" she asked.
"Not hungry," Hope said. "Read another story?"
"Is that what you were doing when I left you with the kids?" Zach asked Kinsley.
"You left the kids with Kinsley?" Tricia asked her father. "You were supposed to watch them."
"I was tired," Zach grumbled. "Besides, Kinsley offered."
"I'm so sorry about that." Tricia looked stricken. "Dad was supposed to be taking care of the kids. Not you."
"She did a good job of that," Elliot put in. “She’s a natural.” As soon as he spoke, he realized his mistake. Kinsley was frowning at him, and so were Tricia and Faith.
"How would you know?" Faith asked.
Elliot just shrugged, hoping he looked more relaxed than he felt, as he scrambled for something to say.
After Denise left, he waited an appropriate amount of time then went to the house to get a drink of water, his excuse to talk to Kinsley. He wanted to make sure she was okay, and, even though he didn't really want to admit it to himself, he hoped somehow to assure her that Denise meant nothing to him.
"I came to the house for a drink of water. I saw Zach sleeping in the recliner and I heard Kinsley reading to the kids." Not bad, he thought. A decent reason, and one that wouldn't require any more explanations.
He had seen how Mason and Tricia were watching him with Kinsley in the corral. The last thing he needed was them teasing him in front of her. But when he glanced over at her again, she was finally looking back at him. He took a chance and gave her a careful smile.
"I have to confess,” he continued, “I wanted to stick around to hear how the story ended."
"The bear made it home," Kinsley said. “The kitten made friends with her enemy, and the dragon found the book he was looking for."
“I’m so glad. I was hoping the dragon would get his happily ever after.”
Kinsley's mouth quirked up as she returned his smile, and Elliot felt as if he had cracked the most hilarious joke.
“Sometimes that happens in stories.”
The despondent tone in her voice made him wonder how many unhappy endings she had experienced. “Sometimes it happens in real life too,” he added.
Her only response was a half-hearted shrug, which could mean anything.
“I don’t think there’s such a thing as a happily ever after,” Faith said putting emphasis on her final word, “but I do believe in happy-for-now.”
“I sure hope so,” Kane put in. “After all, we are getting married soon. I’d like that to be a happy occasion.”
Faith gave him a smile then stroked his stubbled cheek. “And I’m so glad we are and it will be.”
They exchanged a look so full of love that Elliot felt a pang of gentle jealousy. Yes, he was happy for Faith and Kane, happy for Tricia and Mason.
Yes, he had a plan for his own future.
But for the first time in a long while he realized it was a short-term future. And that a part of him wanted what his brother and sister had.
Chapter 10
Kinsley struggled to stifle her gasp of dismay as Faith came out of the bedroom the seamstress, Nelly Boyko, used as a dressing room.
The wedding dress Faith had been so excited about was a disaster. And Faith’s disappointed expression told Kinsley her friend felt the same.
"I think we need to do something about this neckline," Faith said, plucking at the material draped from shoulder to shoulder.
Kinsley guessed the seamstress was going for a Grecian look, but the linen she used did not lend itself to draping.
"I can see what you're talking about," Nelly said. “You said you wanted a natural fabric,” she said, her tone defensive.
"I know," Faith said. "I guess I was counting on you to help me out."
Nelly pursed her lips as if unhappy with Faith's comment.
"I'll see what I can do," she said. "But I will charge you a little more for the alterations."
"I would think alterations w
ould be part of the package," Kinsley said, not happy with Nelly’s response. "Faith needs to be happy with the result."
“Of course she does, however, it’s extra work I didn’t count on.” But Kinsley could see that Nelly was still annoyed.Well, if she was going to be annoyed anyway, Kinsley figured she may as well go all out with the honesty.
“And while you’re altering, that waistline is too high,” she said, walking around Faith, tugging and lifting the material. “And the draping in the back is all wrong.”
“Well, like I said, I’ll see what I can do,” Nelly repeated, looking completely put out.
“I’ll go take this off now,” Faith said, giving Kinsley a wan smile.
When she left, Kinsley turned back to Nelly.
"If you charge for the alterations, what amount would Faith be looking at?” she asked. So far they were well within budget, and she wanted to keep it that way.
"She hasn't given me any clear direction as to what she wants the neckline to look like," Nelly said. "But the way I designed it, I might have to change the entire bodice."
“Where the waistline is sitting is not Faith's fault," Kinsley said, determined to press her point.
"I suppose you're right," Nelly conceded. “I should have measured her better.”
"Another thing I need to know is what timeline we’re looking at for the changes,” Kinsley said. She had to stifle her nervousness, as the wedding was coming up quickly.
"I can get it done by the end of the week,” Nelly said.
"Can you do it any sooner?" Kinsley asked. If the changes were unsatisfactory, that was cutting it too close.
Kinsley didn't want to think about that. She had to trust that the alterations would work out. It would be almost impossible to find a suitable dress off the rack a week before the wedding day.
Faith returned, carrying the dress. She gave it to Nelly, biting her lip as she did so. “The zipper up the back is a little uncomfortable,” she said. “Maybe you could look at that as well?”
Faith sounded tentative, and it annoyed Kinsley.
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