Rylie tied the belt of her robe, eased out of bedroom, and carefully closed the door, needing caffeine. It would get her through the morning at least.
She didn’t want to compare men and their techniques when making love, but Eric had a gift. He was a generous lover. More so than the other two men she’d been with. A smile lingered as she filled the coffee maker with water and grounds, hit the button switching on the machine, and turned to return to the bedroom.
A yelp of shock ripped from her. Her father sat on the couch, a glass of water on the end table at his elbow. The silver in his thick, dark hair gleamed in the soft morning light coming through the window next to him.
“Jesus, Dad. You scared the shit out of me.” She pressed a hand to her chest where her heart hammered against it.
“You must have had a late night. You didn’t hear me come in, and you didn’t even notice me sitting here.”
There was very little resemblance between them. His features were too masculine, his jaw too square, his brows too heavy. She’d been told again and again she got her looks and build from her mother. Black Jack reminded her just how much with every hurtful word he’d spat at her the last time they saw each other.
“What are you doing here?”
As a child, she was terrified of disappointing him, a pattern that continued throughout her high school years, and which she worked hard to end while she was in college.
She was done with all that now. She wasn’t going to allow him to make her feel guilty for looking for the things she needed. Like affection. Unconditional love. Understanding. Sexual fulfillment.
She moved into the living room and noticed the two jackets that lay across the back of the couch. He’d picked them up and put them there. She refused to blush.
“I know you have company. New boyfriend?”
“What do you want, Jack?” She decided to remain standing and folded her arms.
Jack reached for the glass of water and took a drink, then returned the glass to the coaster with studied attention. “I didn’t realize you dated during the week.”
Was she still in high school in his mind? Would he ever realize she was a grown woman? Rylie continued to study his features without replying.
Jack tugged at the neckline of his turtleneck. “I don’t suppose that’s any of my business.”
No, it wasn’t.
He leaned forward and rested his elbows on his knees. “I was out of line the other night, Rylie. I shot my mouth off and I said some things I didn’t mean.”
Was the great Black Jack Stewart actually apologizing? She bit the end of her tongue to keep from saying something snarky.
“I know you’re not the woman I accused you of being.”
“Then why did you say it?”
He remained silent for a long moment. “You were so young when your mother died. You don’t really have that many memories of her. I’ve never wanted to tarnish those memories in any way. But marriages are complicated. What she was as a mother to you… She loved you. Was crazy about being a mother. But it was hard for her. I was deployed, training…
“Your mother was a single parent most of the time, and it was lonely.” He hesitated for a several beats. “When I was home, she was fine. But when I was gone….
She bit her lip.
“Being a military wife is tough. Being married to a SEAL, even harder. She spent half a year without a husband, and even when I wasn’t deployed, I was gone for weeks of training. Looking back, I couldn’t blame her for resenting me and the job. I’ve tried not to hold on to past resentments, memories… You look so much like her… The blouse you wore yesterday reminded me….”
“Whatever was wrong between the two of you has nothing to do with me. I’m your daughter, not your wife.”
He flinched. “I know that. I just don’t ever want you to… It only takes a second to take a wrong step.”
Ah. So he was worried that she’d embarrass him. Her anger spiked and she had to force herself to relax her jaw when she wanted to grind her teeth. “How can I be like a woman I barely remember? She was my mother, and I love her because she was and gave me life. And because Gran loved her. But for all intents and purposes, Gran was my mother. If I was going to be like anyone, it would be her.”
He drew a deep breath. “You’re right. It was a memory that triggered my response. And I overreacted.”
So she was paying for something her mother had done eighteen years ago. She wasn’t doing it. “When I was young and you deployed, I hated that you had to go. I was afraid you might get hurt or killed.” And leave me alone. “But while you were gone and I was with Gran, it was the only time I could truly breathe.”
His head jerked up and he frowned.
“When you came home, you organized everything I did, every person I saw and spoke to, and every moment of my day, and I felt suffocated. Was that how you were with her, too?”
His silence was answer enough.
“I’m not going to let you put that kind of pressure on me anymore. No one can live up to your expectations. And I’ve been tired of trying for a long time.”
She raised her chin. “And if you ever, ever speak to me again like you did last night, I’ll be done with you. I’m a grown woman, and I take responsibility for everything in my life. I don’t ask you for anything. And I should be able to live the way I want to live, without having you sit in judgement on me. Especially when you’re totally off the mark.”
Jack rocked to his feet. She stood her ground. She took a step forward just to prove to him and to herself that she was stronger than he believed.
“I don’t sleep around. I don’t cruise bars for hookups. And I don’t get drunk and stagger home with strange men. I work too hard to get by with that kind of behavior. And I’m telling you all of this in rebuttal to what you said to me because I’m not a whore. But my sex life is my business. Not yours.”
Tears pushed hard against the backs of her eyes and she struggled to maintain her composure. “I need some time to get past this. I think it would be better if we don’t see each other for a while.”
For the first time in her life Jack seemed uncertain. “Rylie.”
She decided to stay on the attack. As long as she kept him from speaking, he couldn’t manipulate her with guilt. “I’d like my key back.” She extended her hand.
He hesitated, then reached into his pocket and pulled out his key ring. He maneuvered the key free and placed it in her palm. “Are you going to unblock my number so I can call you?”
“I’ll think about it.”
“Why didn’t you ever tell me how you felt growing up?”
“I associated your approval with being loved. I was terrified of disappointing you.” What kind of love was chained to his pride and only offered if she did something he approved of?
“I love you, Rylie. You’re my daughter. I’ll always love you. And you’ve always made me proud.”
But that love was still connected to his approval. It always would be. When he put his arms around her, she stiffened. With a sigh he ended the embrace. “If you need anything, you can call me any time.”
He still hadn’t apologized. He’d never, in all her life, said the words I’m sorry. And never would.
And it would be a cold day in hell before she’d ask him for anything.
The door closed behind him, and she fell into one of the side chairs, her legs weak. Nausea rose at the scent of the freshly brewed coffee.
The bedroom door opened. Eric’s hair clung damply to his head and a towel was draped across his shoulders, his jeans riding low on his hips. The morning light lanced across his torso, highlighting the hills and valleys of his chest and abdomen’s perfect musculature. “You okay, Rylie?”
No. She forced herself to her feet and turned her full attention on him. “I’m okay.” Maybe if she said it over and over, she would be.
“That was your dad, wasn’t it? I figured I’d better give you two some privacy.”
“T
hank you. It was exactly what I needed you to do.” And he’d just saved his career by staying in the bedroom. God, she just put him in the crosshairs, would continue to for as long as they saw each other.
But the thought of ending things after a single night… Especially after what she just said to her father. She just slept with a man after knowing him only forty-eight hours. He had touched her intimately, been inside her. But she didn’t really know him at all. He’d listened to her talk, but hadn’t told her enough about himself to fill a single sheet of paper.
She crossed to Eric, put her arms around his waist and rested her check against his bare chest. His arms came around her and he held her, then smoothed her hair.
“Tell me one thing about yourself. Something important.”
He was silent a moment. “I’m a Petty Officer second class in the Navy SEALs. I don’t have to tell you not to spread that around, do I?”
“No.”
“And that DNA thing I did.”
“Yes.”
“I did it because I have no family other than the guys in my team, and I wanted to know where I came from.”
She drew back to look up at him. “No family at all?”
“None.”
She felt his loss like a punch. “Eric…”
“After my mother died when I was seven, I grew up in foster homes, some good, some not so much. As soon as I graduated from high school, I joined the Navy. A year after basic, I tried for the teams and made it.”
“That’s remarkable. It’s very difficult to get in.”
“Yeah, it is.”
When she put her arms around him again, it was motivated by the need to comfort him. “I’m sorry.”
“They say you don’t miss what you’ve never had.”
“That’s not really true, is it?” She leaned back to look up at him again.
“No. I think it makes you appreciate the close connections you make even more.”
She hoped she’d be one of those connections.
“What time do you have to get to work?” he asked.
She glanced at the clock and gave a squeak that had him laughing. “I have to get in the shower right now. There’s bacon and cheese quiche in the refrigerator and orange juice if you’d like something to eat while I get cleaned up and dressed.”
She rushed into the bedroom.
In the shower the knot of worry in her stomach released.
He just shared something personal, something telling, something that made her want to hold him close and protect him.
Now she just needed to figure out a way to protect him from her father.
CHAPTER 9
‡
Rylie wandered into the coffee shop and scanned the crowd. She’d been hard at work for hours and needed a break. Spying her best friend Abby, she slid into the seat opposite her.
“Hello, stranger,” Abby commented as she slid the heavy paper cup toward her. “I haven’t seen you all week.” Abby’s hair hung in a thick braid over one shoulder, and the Asian Indian heritage she got from her mother was apparent in huge, dark eyes and olive skin that needed no cosmetic enhancements. She was beautiful inside and out.
“I’ve been really busy.” Rylie bit her lip to keep from smiling. “I’ve just finished one project and am preparing for two more. The firm will be going full steam ahead with both within the next two weeks.”
Abby raised a perfectly arched brow. “Is that all?”
“No. I’ve been busy with the handsome guy I told you about. He makes me laugh, among other things.”
“Good. It’s about time you had something other than work in your life. It’s been forever since you’ve even acted like you were interested in the male of the species.”
“I had some work I had to do on my own psyche before I was ready to share anything with anyone.”
Abby’s expression changed to one of concern. “And you think you’re ready to leave yourself open to this guy?”
“Not completely, not yet.”
“Why not?”
“Because he has things he won’t open up to me about.” Because that was the nature of the beast called SEAL. “And I have things I can’t tell him just now.”
“Why not?”
Rylie braced herself. “Because he’s a Navy SEAL, and he doesn’t know I’m Black Jack’s daughter.”
“What difference does that make?” Abby asked.
“You know my father, Abby. If he doesn’t approve of him, he could destroy his career. And he won’t approve of him because he’s a SEAL.”
“But your father was a SEAL.”
“And that’s exactly why he won’t approve. He wants me to marry someone with money who stays home, safe and sound. He loved Blake because his father had deep pockets and he thought I’d be taken care of. My father believes that women can’t take care of themselves. That they need male guidance to survive in the real world.”
“Like hell!”
Rylie laughed at the outrage in every line of her best friend’s body and the tone of her voice. “I agree. But you can’t drill a hole in my father’s head and pour that idea in. He wants me to marry a doctor or lawyer.”
“So you’ll be secure.”
“And so he won’t have to feel responsible for me anymore.”
“Why would he feel responsible for you?”
“I don’t know. Especially after all the trouble he went to make sure to dump all that in my lap as soon as I turned eighteen.”
She started to spill everything that had happened with Black Jack the week before, but stopped herself.
She and Abby talked every day, even when they couldn’t see each other, and she usually shared everything with her. But her father’s nasty remarks were still too hurtful to admit to her friend. The wound wasn’t healing. It just stayed there, seeping.
She needed to shake free of this and move on…alone. Maybe that was what Black Jack wanted. Maybe he wanted to shake free of her. Then why did he show up at her apartment? It certainly wasn’t to apologize.
“So, what makes this guy different from the others?”
“He couldn’t be more different from my father. He’s supportive of what I do. Laid back, easygoing, and actually talks like a human instead of an Admiral.”
Rylie paused, peeking at Abby out of the corner of her eye. “And he has a real talent.”
Abby cocked a dark perfectly arched brow. “A talent?”
“Yeah, a real talent.”
“You’ve only been with two guys. How would you know?”
“I can tell what pleases me and what doesn’t. Trust me, I know.”’
Abby’s eyebrows popped up and she grinned. “Does he have a brother?”
Rylie laughed. “No.”
“I know you won’t share. Would he be open to cloning?”
Rylie laughed again. “I’ll have to ask.”
“I thought you always said you’d never hook up with a SEAL.”
“This one actually has a sense of humor. He makes me laugh a lot.”
“And he has a talent.”
“Yeah.”
For the first time Abby’s smile faltered and concern crept into her expression. “That sounds like a dynamite combination.”
“It is.”
“You’re being careful, aren’t you?”
“Safe sex all the way.”
“Not just that.”
So far she and Eric had been keeping it light. Eating out, riding his motorcycle, spending time with each other, making love, and they even went diving once. But she couldn’t deny she was wildly attracted to him. “My first relationship during college…we were roommates in college, had completely different friends, and had nothing in common. My second continued because Blake was looking for someone his parents would approve of and my dad was pushing for it. I’ve finally shaken free of that.
“This man is totally about what I want. Eric’s gorgeous, sexy and smart, and we have things in common. We both lost our mothers when we wer
e young. We both missed out on a normal family life. We both like to scuba dive.”
“But you haven’t told him who your father is.”
No, she hadn’t. “As soon as I tell him, I’ll never see him again.”
“If he isn’t brave enough to beard Black Jack, then he doesn’t deserve you, Rylie.”
“I can’t ask him to give up his career for me, Abby. And that’s basically what I’d be asking him to do.”
Abby leaned forward on her elbows, her expression intent. “You don’t know that. Your dad might connect with him because they’ll have something in common.”
She shook her head. “He’ll think he’s not good enough for me. Eric has no family. Black Jack will think he’s hooking up with me to advance his career. I know how my father thinks.
“I want to build a life of my own, and I’m beginning to think the only way I’ll be able to do that is to cut Jack out of it.”
“You can’t do that, Rylie. Your father is…your father.”
Thanks to Abby’s East Indian background, her family was huge, and very, very close. Rylie loved going to Abby’s parents’ house because she was fussed over, fed, and made to feel loved.
She was tempted to spill her guts to Abby about the things Black Jack said to her but was still ashamed to admit her father thought so little of his own daughter.
He didn’t know her at all. In his mind, she was just an extension of her mother.
“Rylie.” Abby laid a hand on her arm. “What’s happened?”
She glanced at her watch and stood. “I can’t talk about it yet. I have to get back to work.”
“I’m being transferred to Hong Kong for six months, Rylie. I’ll be leaving in a month.”
Rylie sank back in her chair, her heart sinking.
What would she do without her best friend?
She fought past that first reaction. Abby worked hard as a buyer for a large nationwide chain department store, and this promotion was her dream job.
Rylie couldn’t just think of herself, she had to think of Abby.
“Can I come visit?”
Abby laughed even as her eyes filled. “Yes, damn you. You know you can.”
Rylie pushed down her own emotions and laid a hand on Abby’s arm. “I’m so thrilled for you. I’m bummed for myself, because you won’t be here for us to hang out, but…this is what you’ve always wanted. This is your dream.”
Hot SEAL, Taking The Plunge (SEALS IN PARADISE) Page 6
