“Thanks.”
“I can pass out flyers or put up signs if you need me to. I told Mom the same thing. I don’t want anybody to think I’m playing favorites.”
“Appreciate the offer. I’ll let you know.”
“And Pops. I still think you ought to turn this into something fun between you and Mom. Probably make you feel better than you do now.”
Out of the mouths of babes.
Preston added, “At least think about it, okay?”
“Will do. I’ll see you in the morning. Don’t stay up too late.”
Preston gave him a thumbs-up.
Leaving the room, Barrett wondered when had his son become the Wise One and he the Grasshopper?
Chapter
9
Friday after school, while her friends got ready for Movie Night at the rec, Robyn was in her bedroom zipping up the sides of her packed suitcase for the ride to the airport. She and cousin Paula were taking an evening flight to Blackbird, Oklahoma. Her stomach had been in knots all day at the thought of returning to a place filled with so many bad memories. More than once she wished she hadn’t agreed to the trip, but she didn’t want Paula to go alone—not that Paula needed help. In Robyn’s mind accompanying her was the right and mature thing to do. And it wasn’t as if she’d have to stay. As soon as Paula handled the paperwork for selling their grandfather Tyree’s house and taking care of whatever else needed to be done, they’d be flying back to Henry Adams.
Paula stuck her head into the room. “TC’s here to take us to the airport. Are you ready?”
“Yes.” Picking up her fleece and her new, sky blue crossbody, Robyn raised the suitcase’s handle and rolled it out of the room.
At 8:00 p.m., the small plane landed in Tulsa. They were met there by their uncle Calvin Spivey, who was just a few years older than Paula. He greeted them with strong hugs. “So good to see you both.”
It was good to see him as well. He’d always been as kind to Robyn as her grandmother Ardella would allow, which hadn’t been much since she hated Calvin as much as she hated his mother, Anna Lee. The story went that in high school, Ardella stole Anna Lee’s boyfriend. After graduation, Anna Lee paid her back by stealing the affections of Della’s widower daddy, Tyree. Calvin Tyree Spivey was born from that union.
“I’ll take care of the bags,” he said, as they reached his shiny black truck in the night-dark parking lot. “You two go on and get in.”
Robyn climbed into the back and Paula took the shotgun seat. Calvin entered and started the engine. The drive to Blackbird would be two hours. “Where do you want to stay while you’re here?” he asked. “Mama says you’re welcome at her place. She has plenty of room.”
Paula turned and asked Robyn, “What do you think? Should we accept?”
“I vote yes.”
“I’m with you,” Paula said. “Too many bad memories at Tyree’s and Della’s.”
Robyn agreed. Exhaling a quiet sigh of relief, Robyn settled in for the long ride.
The porch light was on when they reached Anna Lee’s. Calvin pulled up into the driveway and they got out just as his mother stepped onto the porch. In her copper bob wig, gold caftan, and matching low-heeled slides, her long gold nails and perfect makeup made her resemble a fading, brown-skinned movie star.
After welcoming them with hugs and kisses on their cheeks, she led them inside. From her last visit, Robyn remembered the big piano on the far side of the small living room. The top served as a bar that held liquor bottles in a variety of colors and sizes.
“How was the flight?” she asked.
“Not too bad,” Paula replied.
Anna Lee gestured for them to sit, so Robyn and Paula sat down on the plastic-covered gold couch. Their hostess sat in one of the matching gold chairs, also encased in heavy, clear plastic.
“Cal, take their suitcases to the back and we’ll figure out who gets what room later.”
As he left, his mother said, “So glad to see you two. There’s food in the kitchen if you’re hungry.”
They were.
“Ribs and baked beans in the oven, potato salad in the fridge. Go ahead and get you a plate. I’ll be in in a minute.”
While she moved to the piano to pour herself a drink, they walked to the kitchen. Washing their hands at the sink, they searched out plates and silver and pulled the food from the oven and the fridge. Cal joined them and made himself a plate too, and the three of them sat at the small dining table. Paula said grace and they dug in.
The food was delicious. Robyn thought back on all the boring white beans and chicken she’d eaten while living with her grandmother and wished she’d been living with Anna Lee instead. The meat on the ribs slid off the bones like melted butter, the beans were sweet and smoky, and the potato salad was to die for. She looked over at Paula, met her smile, and went back to her meal.
Anna Lee floated in. “Everything okay?”
“Very,” Paula said.
“If I feed you good, you might want to come back,” she said with a smile. “Having you here is a real treat. I don’t get many visitors. There’s only so much joy in drinking and Netflix.” She looked to Robyn. “Are you happier?”
Robyn read the concern in her eyes. “Yes, ma’am.”
“Good. Anyone who has a chance to escape this place should. College?”
“Next year. Need to catch up on some things.”
“You always were a smart little thing, so that shouldn’t take long.”
A warmth spread through Robyn in response to the praise. She wished she’d had the opportunity to have known Anna Lee while growing up, but it was never allowed.
As the visiting continued, the adults talked about the sale of her grandfather’s house. Calvin doubted it would bring in much. He wanted Paula to consider investing a small amount of money in it, and then renting it out instead.
“I’d try and get you some good tenants and keep an eye on the place,” he said to her. “Maybe function as your landlord representative and see to repairs and such. This way you’d have a small stream of additional income.”
“That’s not a bad plan. I’ll think about it.”
Robyn asked, “What’s going to happen to Gran’s place?”
Anna Lee cracked, “I want to burn it to the ground, but Cal won’t let me.”
Robyn smiled even though she knew she shouldn’t.
“Behave, Mama,” Cal said grinning.
Paula said wistfully, “God forgive me but growing up, there were days I wished for a book of matches for both houses.”
Robyn paused and looked her way.
As if thinking back, Paula was silent for a few moments, then waved it away, “Never mind. Let’s talk about Della’s house.”
Robyn always sensed Paula’s time growing up in Blackbird had been awful too, and this conversation seemed to confirm that. She wondered if talking about their experiences would help free them both? Returning to Blackbird reminded her of all the hurt, and she was tired of the memories chasing her like monsters in a nightmare. Maybe the time had come to stop running and face it down so she could find some peace.
Paula asked, “Has Della told anybody what she plans to do with her house?”
Calvin shook his head. “A storm took down a couple of trees on her property and damaged her roof. I went to the prison to ask her what she wanted me to do about it, but she refused to see me.”
Anna Lee added, “Her neighbor’s pretty sure the roof’s leaking, so who knows what it looks like inside.”
Robyn wasn’t surprised that her grandmother refused to speak with Calvin, not even about her house. She’d always been as stubborn as she was mean.
Paula said, “When I visit her tomorrow, maybe we can talk about it.”
“She won’t see you, Paula,” Anna Lee told her. “Robyn, either. I know you’re a preacher and all, but you can’t save a soul that doesn’t want saving.”
“I have to try. If she turns me away, that’s on her.”
<
br /> Robyn thought Paula a better niece than her grandmother deserved, and a better person than Robyn herself would ever be. The true circumstances surrounding Robyn’s mother Lisa’s death were still a mystery, and it appeared Ardella would take the truth to her grave. If that happened, Robyn would hate her for the rest of her life.
Once the meal was finished, they all helped with the cleanup. Calvin went home after promising to stop by the next day after work, and Anna Lee escorted them down the narrow hallway to the two spare rooms at the back of the house. Both were small and clean and the beds in each were covered with matching floral comforters. “I used to put my grandkids in here when they visited, but after they moved away, they’re apparently too busy to come see me so I can know my great-grands.”
The sadness in her eyes matched her tone before it was masked. “Decide which room you want, and I’ll see you at breakfast in the morning.”
They wished her good night and she left them alone.
Paula asked Robyn, “Do you have a preference?”
“Not really. I can take this one and you can have the other room, if that’s okay.”
“It is.” Paula spoke to the anxiety she knew Robyn was feeling, brought on from being in Blackbird. “We fly home tomorrow after the visit.”
Robyn replied softly, “Good. I’m glad we didn’t stay at Della’s or Papa’s.”
“Me, too.”
“Were they mean to you when you grew up here?”
“Yes. Very.”
Robyn hesitated before asking her next question because she wasn’t sure if it would be too personal. “How long did it take for you to be okay?”
Paula sat on the bed and patted the spot beside her. Robyn took the invitation and Paula draped a comforting arm lightly across her shoulders. “Took me a while. Even though I didn’t live here my entire life like you, the three years felt like an eternity.”
“Gran slapped me a lot,” Robyn whispered.
“Did the same to me. I tell myself I’ve forgiven her, but in my heart, I know I haven’t. Not totally.”
“I dream about her sometimes, and she’s always screaming at me, or punching me or whipping me with that old extension cord she used to use, and no matter how fast I run away, she always catches me.”
“I’m so sorry.”
Robyn wiped at the tears on her cheeks. “Why’s she so mean, Paula?”
“I wish I knew, baby. Maybe she doesn’t like herself, or her life, or—I don’t know. Whatever the reason, she had no right to take it out on you—or me.” Paula met Robyn’s eyes and said in a serious tone, “When I go see her tomorrow, you don’t have to come.”
“I know, but I want to. Maybe seeing her in jail and knowing she’ll never hurt me anymore will help the nightmares stop.”
Paula eased her closer. “You sure?”
Robyn nodded.
Paula picked up her purse and fished inside for a small pack of tissues that she handed over. Robyn pulled a few free and blew her nose. “Did you ever talk to a therapist or somebody like that about what happened to you here?”
“I did, but it took me years to admit I needed help. African Americans don’t do therapy, at least that’s what I was raised to believe. We’re told those things aren’t for us. We’re supposed to handle our problems and move on, so I thought my hurt would fade away and fix itself. Like you, I had nightmares though, and I was so quietly angry, I developed ulcers my sophomore year in college. On the outside I was a had-it-all-together high achiever, but on the inside a boiling hot mess. Finally, one of my Spelman friends suggested I see her mom who had her own practice in Atlanta. Initially, I blew it off, of course, but she kept after me to the point I made the appointment just to shut her up.” Paula smiled and Robyn mirrored it in return.
“So did it help you?”
“Oh yes. Thank the Lord for girlfriends. Her mom was a godsend. I worked through a lot of my issues while under her care. It wasn’t easy though, because sometimes it’s hard laying your problems on the table, especially to a stranger, but she was so compassionate and patient, that I changed my major from prelaw to psychology so I could do for other people what she did for me.”
“That’s a great story.” Robyn quieted for a moment as she thought over what Paula had shared. “Do you think you could help me talk through some things?”
“Sometimes it isn’t wise to counsel a family member.”
“But I want it to be you, Paula. I think I’d be more willing to, like you said, put it all on the table.”
She could see Paula thinking it over.
“Okay, but instead of making it formal and have you come to the office for appointments and all that, let’s do our talking cousin to cousin over dinner, or when we’re riding to the mall, or sitting out on the porch in the evenings. You talk, I’ll listen, and if I have some advice that I think might be beneficial, I’ll share it.”
“I’d like that.”
“Then in the words of Jean-Luc Picard, ‘make it so.’”
Robyn threw her arms around Paula’s waist and hugged tight. “Thank you.”
“You’re welcome. I’ll always be here for you, Robyn. Always.”
THE NEXT MORNING, the idea of seeing her grandmother again made Robyn’s stomach roil so much she apologized to Anna Lee for passing on the big breakfast she’d prepared and settled on a piece of toast and juice.
Paula asked, “Are you not feeling well?”
“I think it’s from going to see Gran. I’m nervous.”
Anna Lee, sporting a red bob wig and dressed in skinny jeans and a snug green top that showed off her still trim frame, said sympathetically, “It’s okay, baby. Going to see that old bat would make me not want to eat, either. I’ll fix you a good lunch when we get back.”
“Thank you.”
The women’s facility where Ardella was incarcerated was over an hour away. Anna Lee would be driving them, so after breakfast she backed her new, midnight-blue Mustang out of the garage and Paula and Robyn got in.
“Nice car,” Paula said admiring the nice leather interior.
Anna Lee beamed. “Cal bought it for me out of his share from Tyree’s will. It’s the first brand-new car I’ve ever owned.”
Robyn thought the car was sweet, too. Paula had also received money from their grandfather’s will. She used some of it to set Robyn up in Henry Adams with new clothes, furnishings for her bedroom, electronics, and every book Robyn wanted to read. The rest went into an investment fund for Robyn’s future, which made her cry. No one had ever done so much for her before.
As Anna Lee headed to the highway, Robyn watched the scenery. Growing up in Blackbird, she hadn’t done much traveling because her grandmother never went anywhere, so she was seeing some of the areas for the first time. The towns they drove past with their big box stores, fast-food places, and malls all looked to be doing better than Blackbird, and she wondered what kind of lives the people led. Only after moving to Henry Adams did she realize how impoverished she’d been not just economically, but in experiences as well. Recently, Leah told her about the time she’d spent with Preston and his NASA scientist mom in Florida last summer, and all the cool things they’d seen and done. Zoey occasionally toured with her mom, Ms. Roni, and had been to cities like Paris and Rio. Most of the Henry Adams kids had flown on Ms. Bernadine’s white jet. It was all astonishing to someone like Robyn, who two years ago didn’t even know black people worked at NASA or owned their own planes. That she now had access to that same world made her want to scoop up all the kids in Blackbird and move them to Henry Adams so they could see a better life, too.
“Is this the prison?” Paula asked.
Anna Lee said, “Yes.”
Robyn peered out the window at the beige-brick buildings surrounded by tall barbed wire. Unlike in the movies there were no guard towers. The complex, set back from the road, had few windows, all with bars. As they drove past, Robyn spied a lone tree in the large open field that surrounded the building. She won
dered how many of the inmates could see it.
Anna Lee steered the Mustang into a car-filled parking lot adjacent to a flat-roofed, one-story building painted blue and white. It could’ve passed for a school or a doctor’s office had it not been for the sign out front bearing the facility’s name. Looking out at the building, Robyn swallowed hard as Anna Lee found an open parking space and braked.
Paula asked Anna Lee, “Are you coming in?”
“No. I’ll wait for you here,” she said, cutting the engine. “She won’t want to see me. For sure.”
Paula and Robyn got out and made their way to the front entrance. Neither spoke but Robyn found herself taking in deep breaths to help calm herself.
Although there were a ton of cars parked outside, she was still shocked by the crowd of people in line ahead of them. Women, children, senior citizens, along with teen girls holding onto toddlers and infants made their way slowly through the two metal detectors. According to Paula, visits were only conducted on weekends. The first letter in an inmate’s last name determined which day and at what time.
When she and Paula reached the machine, they, like the others, removed their jackets and placed them and their purses on the belt. After being waved through and retrieving their belongings, they waited in another line that led to the desks where everyone had to sign in with the matrons wearing brown uniforms. Once that was accomplished, they were given a number and told to take a seat; they’d be called when Ardella arrived. Robyn wondered if her grandmother would treat them like Calvin and refuse to see them. In a way she hoped so, so this would all be over and they could fly home.
Their number was called fifteen minutes later. She and Paula followed a different matron through a set of doors and down a dimly lit hallway. At another door, with a wire-covered window, the matron knocked, and it was opened. Inside stood a stern-faced female guard. Ardella, dressed in purple prison garb, was seated at a table. It and two empty plastic chairs were the only furniture. It had been a year since Robyn had seen her, and in that time, her hair, tied back, had gone grayer and looked thinner. Robyn’s heart pounded as she and Paula sat. To her surprise, her grandmother smiled, and said, “Thanks for coming to see me. How are you?”
On the Corner of Hope and Main Page 12
