Wyatt’s sigh was gusty enough to make my ears ring. I had to wait through five minutes of swearing and name calling while I listened to him kick stuff around his office before he finally gave me anything useful. “I fucking hate the guy, Webb. Hate him. I wanted to kick his ass for knocking Jolene up with me, but then he did it again. He wasn’t around. Ever. He didn’t care that Jolene left me alone. He didn’t bother to check and see if I was alive, even though he knew how messed up she was. He was too busy playing the perfect family man with his real family to give a shit about his mistress and bastard son stuck out in the swamp.” Wyatt’s voice cracked, and he cleared his throat loudly, coughing to try and cover it up. “He can burn in hell for all I care.”
I waited as the sound of something breaking tinkled through the phone line. It was a good thing Wyatt had seniority. He was less likely to get his ass chewed after his tantrum. “Who is he, Wyatt? And why did Jolene keep him around? We both know long-term is totally against her usual pattern of behavior.”
“Mathis Bernard. He was the son of one of the founding families who settled in that parish. They were some of the first sugar cane farmers in the area, so old money. He and Jolene knew each other when they were younger. Our grandparents worked for the Bernard family. Jolene’s mom took care of the house; her dad did maintenance or something. All their kids played together and grew up together, but the class division was never forgotten. Jolene and Mathis had a long history of messing around; it was the worst kept secret in the parish. No one was surprised when she got knocked up before graduating high school.”
I grunted and gave up trying to push the headache back. “Jesus, there are more siblings out there?” Jolene had Wyatt when she was twenty, so the baby she was carrying in high school wasn’t him.
“No. The Bernards paid her to not have that one. When she wanted to be particularly cruel, she would tell me she wished I was the one she got rid of. She would say, ‘I bet the first baby wouldn’t have ended up a goddamn queer.’”
It was my turn to swear long and loud. I wanted to break a bunch of stuff, too, but everything in the motel was secured down, so I didn’t have the option to throw a tantrum like Wyatt had. Instead, I silently cursed my mother to a fate worse than death. She deserved that and so much more.
“I think she kept Mathis around because he was familiar, and he gave her money. She isn’t capable of anything as basic as love and affection, so all I can figure is greed as her motivation. Plus, Bernard was forced into a marriage with a woman he barely knew. They put on a good front, but I don’t think it was a very happy home. Jolene was easy, available, and she was never going to ask for anything more than cold hard cash. She was the perfect mistress.” He grunted, and I could almost picture him rolling his eyes.
“After I came along, he sent her money more regularly, not that she ever used any of it to make sure I was healthy and cared for. It was a good thing she stayed on her family’s property those early years. There were enough cousins and aunts around I never starved or froze to death. I often wondered why she didn’t just drop me on Bernard’s doorstep so he had to deal with the consequences of their actions. I asked him about it when I was a teenager. Tracked him down before I shipped out on my first deployment. Thought maybe he would change his tune when he realized I was trying to do something with my life, how I was very different from Jolene. I had idealistic ideas, like maybe he would keep an eye out for you, maybe he would give a shit I was getting ready to go to war. I should have known better. I asked him why he pretended like you and I never existed. He looked me dead in the eye and told me ‘you don’t.’ We were nothing to him. Not even an afterthought. He threatened to call the cops—most of whom were in his back pocket and corrupt as hell—if I didn’t get off his property. He shut the door in my face, Webb. He wasn’t interested in where we’d been or how we’d survived. He literally hadn’t given either of us a single thought in all the years we’d been alive. Didn’t care if we lived or died.”
It was a lot to take in. Everything in my past was. I didn’t know the man, hadn’t given him much thought when I was on the streets doing what I had to do. Wyatt had always been both mother and father when I needed someone, and I always knew an absent stranger would never compare to the unconditional love and acceptance my older brother gave me. But hearing my father was as much of a disaster as my mother . . . that hurt. It shouldn’t have been so hard for our parents to love us. We were just kids. Taking care of us was really their only requirement, and they both failed spectacularly.
“I don’t need him to acknowledge me, Wyatt. I’m not searching for validation or acceptance. I just need him to tell me if he knew Jolene gave birth to twins. Once he does, I’ll spit in his face and walk away.” I bit out the words with more confidence than I actually felt. I was the one who still had a soft spot for my grifter mother, and my older brother knew it.
“I don’t think it’s a good idea.” Wyatt’s voice got quiet which meant he was deadly serious. “I’ve stood behind you no matter what you’ve done, Webb, but this . . . this is going to go bad. I can feel it.” Wyatt had good instincts. It was how he managed to stay alive so long in a life plagued by danger and violence. I couldn’t discount that he was probably right.
“If it goes bad, Ten will be there as backup. She’s not going to let me do anything stupid.” At least, I hoped she wouldn’t.
Wyatt sighed again. “You put a lot of faith in a woman who can barely tolerate you most days.”
My brother’s dry tone forced out a laugh. The chuckle made my head throb and my eyes water with a mix of pain and humor. “Yeah. I trust her more than almost anyone, except for you. I know you want to keep me from getting hurt by all the same things that hurt you, but it’s not possible. Some knocks I just gotta take without you there to hold my hand. This is a fight you have to let me win or lose on my own.”
Another long silence drew out between us, but finally after a long, tense moment, Wyatt mumbled, “Bernard moved his family to New Orleans a few years ago. I was working an op after Katrina and remember seeing an article about him in the local paper. The family puts on a show of giving back to the community, so he shouldn’t be too hard to find if you’re determined to do this.”
I made sure my voice didn’t waver at all when I replied, “I’m doing it.”
Wyatt offered a few more gruff words of warning before hanging up. I tossed my phone on the bed next to me and pressed my palms into my eyes. The headache thumped even harder, the beat angry and unsteady. I needed to eat, and I needed a good night's sleep. I was running on fumes and tired of banging into brick walls every time I turned around. There was only so much abuse I could take before I broke.
There was a light tapping on the door, sending my gaze to the digital clock near the head of the bed. Ten and I agreed to meet in an hour to hunt down dinner. She’d given me an extra couple of minutes, and again I wondered how she could be so perceptive. She must have known the conversation with Wyatt wasn’t going to be an easy one, and I was going to need a minute, or five, to get myself together after it ended.
Pushing to my feet, I shoved a hand through my messy hair as I lumbered to the door. I pulled it open just as Ten was lifting her hand to knock again. She gave me a startled look and pitched forward with the momentum of her next swing. I caught her, and her hands flattened on my chest. I caught the fresh scent of soap and shampoo, indicating she’d used the time we’d been apart to shower. Her skin was silky and soft under my palms as my hands slid down her arms to keep her steady.
“I love it when you’re excited to see me, Ten. Doesn’t happen very often.” I made sure I put a little extra something in my words so she knew I was playing with her.
I figured she would scramble to put space between us, pushing me away like she always did. I was shocked into utter stillness when, instead of shoving off me, her hands drifted over my chest and wound around my neck. Her fingers pushed through the short hair on the back of my neck, and I had to fight not to
shiver like an untried teenager.
“Are you okay? I’ve been worried about you all day. First, you dealt with a group of bikers on your own, then you had to talk to your brother about something that is clearly a sore spot for both of you. And I don’t know if you’ve seen it yet, but Gage has released one of the surveillance pictures to the media, so your face is all over the national news. The conniving bastard didn’t bother to clarify the man in the picture isn’t you, so going forward things might get tricky if we run into law enforcement. You haven’t gotten a single break since the FBI let you go.” Her emerald eyes gleamed with concern and her mouth was soft and so fucking close. I wondered if she had any idea how tempting she was, how irresistible I found her. I wasn’t known for walking away from the things in life that were bad for me; she was a prime example of that. I bet she didn’t even know she was my favorite kind of trouble to get into.
I dropped a hand to her waist, letting it slide around to her lower back. Ten wasn’t as good at hiding her response to the contact between us as I was. I felt her entire body quake and watched her pupils blow wide, nearly obliterating the pretty, vibrant green.
“I’ll be all right, Ten. I’ve gotten used to getting kicked around and having to get back up. The trip down memory lane hasn’t been the most fun I’ve ever had, but I couldn’t ask for a better co-pilot. In all seriousness, you’ve made the journey almost bearable so far.”
She shook her head, sending the scent of flowers and something sweet dancing toward my nose. Her grip on the back of my neck tightened as she lowered her gaze. “I haven’t done anything, and my objectivity is all shot to hell.” She dropped her forehead so it rested against my chin. “You confuse me, Webb, and I don’t care for it.”
A puff of laughter escaped as I lifted my other hand to her face. I cupped her cheek and used my thumb to trace the elegant line of her jaw. “Nothing to be confused about. What you see is what you get with me. I haven’t made it a secret that I want you, Ten. Haven’t kept quiet about the fact that I’d like to get to know you better, either. You’d see through any bullshit I tried to sell you, so I’ve kept my intentions crystal clear.” Which was an entirely new game for me. I was learning the rules of honesty and transparency with her as I went along.
Ten pulled her head back so we were eye-to-eye. “I guess what’s confusing is the way you make me feel. I’m not someone who gets taken in by a pretty face and practiced words. I’m not sure why I can’t walk away from you.”
I wasn’t sure either, but I was pretty happy about it. “Even if you managed to figure out how to walk away, there’s a good chance I would follow you. You are the only woman, hell, the only person, I’ve ever come back for in my entire life . . . aside from my brother. That means something. We don’t have to figure it out right this minute, but I’m not going anywhere until we do.”
She gave a jerky nod, but I wasn’t really sure if it meant she agreed with me or not; she looked so uncertain. Before I could ask, she scrambled my brain and sent all the blood in my body flowing south toward my cock, when she tilted her head back and lifted up just enough to brush her parted lips across mine. It was barely a kiss, but it packed one hell of a punch. She stole my breath and my hands clenched in the fabric of her shirt. She made my knees turn into water, and had my dick turning into an iron spike behind my zipper. It was probably the most innocent, delicate kiss I’d ever received, but it shook me all the way down to my bones. She was already the one woman I’d been unable to forget; now that I had a taste of her she was going to be lodged deep inside the few undamaged places near my heart where my minimal good memories were kept.
She was out of my embrace before I could fully comprehend what happened. My lips tingled and the light, fresh scent she’d brought with her was still caught in my nose, which were the only indications she’d been as close as she was. I blinked, and she was a couple feet away looking at her phone, acting like something significant hadn’t just happened.
“There’s a steakhouse in almost every direction. Welcome to Texas. There’s also a diner we can walk to. You pick. I could eat anything at this point.” She looked up at me and narrowed her eyes. “Once I get some food in my face, we’re going to go over everything that happened today. I want to hear about the bikers and what Wyatt said that put the tragedy in your eyes I saw when you opened the door.”
I grumbled good-naturedly and went back into the room to grab my wallet and phone. “Let’s walk to the diner.” I could use the fresh air and time to figure out how to explain that finding my father might be worse than trying to find my mother.
Talk about the family reunion from hell.
Ten
Dinner was a somber affair. Webb didn’t go into a ton of detail about what transpired between him and his brother, but he did reveal that Wyatt had known for quite some time where their father was. I could tell he was frustrated with his older sibling, but not surprised. Wyatt seemed determined to protect Webb from everything he could, even if the younger man was no longer a child and had proven smart enough to make sharp decisions when he had all the applicable facts. Webb didn’t sound thrilled with the prospect of coming face to face with his father, but we both agreed it was the only logical next step. We also agreed we might as well drive instead of spending the money on another flight since it was only six hours or so away.
We ate quickly and quietly. There had been so many heavy conversations and revelations the last few days, it was evident we both needed a little bit of a break. The silence between us wasn’t uncomfortable or strained; it was actually kind of nice. I wasn’t fending off his flirtatious overtures and internally arguing with myself to resist. With his shiny, pretty veneer stripped back, it was easy to see Webb was a much more complicated man than he presented to the unsuspecting world around him. I was starting to wonder if the cheeky flirt was a role he’d learned to play when he was younger, because the introspective, serious man happily devouring a massive plate of biscuits and gravy was the real Webb Bryant. He resembled the man who’d shown up when I told Webb I wasn’t sure I would’ve believed in his innocence if I hadn’t been with him during the last robbery. I didn’t prefer one over the other. Both versions made my nerves vibrate under my skin and sent my heart careening dangerously out of control. I liked that he had multiple sides to him. Trying to figure him out kept me on my toes, which not many people did. I found so many of them boring and predictable.
I still couldn’t believe I kissed him.
It wasn’t like I was shy or reserved when it came to asking for what I wanted from the opposite sex, as long as it was about meeting my sexual needs. Talking about how I felt, or didn’t feel, wasn’t something I did. I’d learned that lesson when I poured my heart out to Cyrus Warner, telling him every dream and hope I’d pinned on his ridiculously strong shoulders. What I wanted and needed from him hadn’t mattered, and the pattern repeated with Gage. Despite our differences I’d tried, really tried, to keep the relationship going. I’d practically given Gage a handbook, explaining in minute detail what I needed to be happy with him, but again, it hadn’t mattered. Gage had his own way of doing things and he firmly believed his way was best. He wasn’t looking for input from his partner. Not in bed or out of it. Now, I knew enough to ask for it harder, faster, deeper, rougher, but I didn’t trust anyone with the insanity inside of my heart.
Except for Webb. I couldn’t seem to stop giving him a look at every honest emotion he wrung out of me. When he accepted my confusion at face value, saying we would figure it out in time, I couldn’t stop myself from stealing the kiss he’d been tempting me with from the start. Webb didn’t accuse me of playing games or leading him on. He didn’t call me selfish or heartless. He simply kissed me back with the gentlest of touches and flipped my world over. I remembered our argument on the plane and him telling me to pay attention, that he was trying to take care of me. The kiss proved it. Even though I was the instigator and the aggressor, he was the one who turned it into something significant and
momentous. It was a promise of things to come. He would do right by me, and I wasn’t certain I even knew what that looked like, because none of the men in my past had bothered to try.
I was startled out of my thoughts when Webb ordered dessert to go and handed over a credit card to pay the bill. I opened my mouth to protest, we weren’t on a date after all, but snapped it shut when he glared at me. I flushed somewhat guiltily; it was second nature to provide for myself. It was what I’d always done, what I’d resigned myself to a lifetime of doing. I told myself when I was forced to go back home, after things with my career and Gage imploded, I would never put myself in a situation where I relied on anyone ever again. It was supposed to be me, myself, and I for the long run. Only, Webb showed up and sent all those determined plans and promises flying haphazardly out the window.
I followed him back to the motel, working on a mild way to tell him I wasn’t going to go back to his room with him. I was very aware I was the one who changed the dynamics of our relationship with that kiss, but I wasn’t ready to jump into bed with him. Well, that wasn’t entirely true. I’d fought the desire to succumb to the dark want and need he never bothered to hide from the start. Sex I could do, even wanted . . . to lose myself with Webb. It was everything that came after I wasn’t ready to deal with. I had a hard enough time trying to figure out if I was coming or going around him as it was. Throw some sweaty, uninhibited, bed-breaking sex into the mix, and I was bound to lose my mind and reservations all together. I wasn’t ready to surrender to Webb just yet. Though I felt myself slipping closer and closer to the edge of defeat the more time I spent getting to know him.
When we reached the motel parking lot, Webb took the impending awkward goodbye entirely out of my hands. He dropped a light kiss on the top of my head, wrapped one arm around my shoulders and gave me a tight squeeze. His embrace fell away before it really started, and I found myself fighting the feeling of being dismissed, even though I was planning on spending the night alone.
Runaround (Getaway Series Book 4) Page 8
