Hagen stepped into the clearing and found Rhea stretched out in the grass, her arms tucked behind her head, a perfectly positioned ray of light cutting across her body. Her hair spread across the ground around her, like a halo of fire, catching in the sun.
Part of him relaxed. She was fine.
Part of him wanted to die, knowing what he had to do.
“How did you find me?” Her lips barely quirked. It was the only part of her that moved.
“I could feel you.” Hagen stepped closer. He wanted to touch her. Hold her to him. Pretend everything was fine, like he had been, but it was time to stop lying to himself. Pretending what he’d done didn’t matter as much as he thought it did.
Rhea’s brow wrinkled. Her eyes opened as she slowly sat up. “What’s wrong?”
“I have to tell you something.” He almost choked on the words. Forcing the bitter admission through his lips before he had the chance to reconsider all there was to lose. “I can’t have children.” He cleared his throat, struggling with the half-truth. It wasn’t what he intended to give her but he was still clinging to his own selfishness. Still hoping against hope he could keep her here. That what he could give her would be enough.
Hagen gave his head a single-sided shake. He had to give her the whole truth. She deserved it and he couldn’t live with himself if he didn’t. “It’s not that I can’t. It’s that I won’t.” He looked into her eyes. “I had a vasectomy as soon as I could legally have one.”
Rhea sat perfectly still. He could barely make out the rise and fall of her chest as she took long, slow breaths. She said nothing for a long time.
Slowly, she stood up. Hagen watched as she walked toward him, each step like a stab to his heart. The closer Rhea came, the more painful it was. Her scent surrounded him and the air filled with her, wrapping around him. He closed his eyes against it, trying to push it away, a first step in learning to live without her.
Her hands gently pressed against his cheeks.
“Look at me.” Her voice was strong and demanding.
He opened his eyes. He had to. As much as it pained him to see her, it was unbearable not to look at the face that showed him what it would be like to have all he ever wanted.
Even if it was already over.
Her brown eyes were soft as they looked up into his.
“I can’t believe you did that.”
****
Hagen looked like a different man. Defeated. Broken. Lost.
His pain was everywhere. In his face. In his energy. In his stance. He’d sacrificed the most important thing most people ever do. The most important thing most people ever have. And he did it out of love.
And now he expected to be punished for it.
It broke Rhea’s heart in so many ways and for so many reasons. More than that though, the knowledge of what Hagen did soothed her. Eased the pain of losing Stewart.
Because she was gaining so much.
Rhea stepped into him, tucking her face against his chest, listening to the breath move through his body. The body of a man who refused to burden his children the way he felt burdened, even if it meant he would never have a family of his own.
And even though there would be many women who would not want him because of it.
She wrapped her arms around Hagen, holding him as tight as she could. Tears edged her eyes, threatening to fall. Not because of what he did, but because of what he was.
And what he thought he could never be.
His shoulders slumped as she sniffled and buried her face into his warmth. His arms surrounded her.
“Please don’t cry.” His voice was rough in her ear. He pressed his cheek against her head and Rhea could feel his beard catch in her hair. “I’m sorry.”
She wanted to explain to him. Tell him how she felt. But she couldn’t. How do you tell a man he is the most selfless person you’ve met? How do you tell him you can’t imagine a day without him? How do you tell him he is an amazing human being for so many reasons that you can’t even think of them all?
Especially when you can’t think of the first word you would say because you are so overwhelmed with how much your life is changing.
So she showed him.
Rhea cradled his face in her hands and pressed her lips to his, trying her best to focus all that she felt into where her body touched his, hoping he could feel her emotions half as much as she felt his.
His arms tightened around her and his relief crashed down over her, fueling her own. His mouth moved over hers, opening, filling her with his taste as one hand tangled in her hair, pressing her against him so tight it almost hurt. A pain she would welcome if it meant being closer to him.
She grabbed at his shoulders, gripping his shirt, his hair, anything, everything. It was as if the well inside her burst, setting free everything she bottled up. Every feeling she carefully wrangled into submission her whole life, hoping to keep them constrained and protected. Locked away so she would never have to suffer.
But at this moment it didn’t matter anymore.
If that’s what it came to then so be it. She would suffer for him.
Forever.
And he would be worth every second.
Hagen growled deep in his chest, the slow rumble of the beast who protected her making the waters of emotions pent up so well for so long rush faster, spinning out of control as they drug her under. Down deeper until Rhea was drowning in what she’d worked so hard to avoid her whole life out of self-preservation. Needing to avoid the way it felt to lose something important. Something that mattered.
And Hagen mattered. She’d let it happen and would do it again to feel the way she felt now. What she felt now.
Because even as she fell deeper, lost to the overwhelming pressure of emotions she never wanted to have, he caught her. Holding her safely as she dropped.
His arms cradled her gently, slowly lowering Rhea to the soft, grass covered earth. Her head spun from the power of the water beneath her and the power of the man over her as Hagen laid his body over hers. He pressed kisses to her face, her hair, her neck. Whispering words she’d heard many times in her life.
But never felt.
Now it was all she could do, all she wanted to do.
Rhea fought his clothes, suddenly frenzied, yanking at the fabric separating her flesh from his.
“I need you.” The growl she heard was her own as she clawed at him, unable to get all she wanted, all she needed. “Please.”
His body left hers and Rhea growled again as she pulled at his body, the loss of his skin against hers almost painful. She dug her fingernails into his shoulders, arching against him as Hagen tossed his shirt to the side and undid his jeans. His skin was hot under her hands, the tight line of muscle underneath tense and hard. Work roughened hands rasped up her sides and across her ribs as Rhea’s shirt joined his on the ground beside them, immediately followed by her bra.
She gasped as his body moved over hers, the soft patch of blonde hair across his chest brushing over her breasts, teasing the sensitive peaks into tight buds. His strong fingers worked the button of her shorts and yanked them off, taking her panties at the same time.
And she was naked.
In broad daylight. A hop, skip, and a jump from downtown.
Hagen hovered over her, the soft waves of his hair falling on each side of her face, tickling her cheeks as he held his weight on his forearms. His hands rested at her temples, open, the width of his palms blocking out everything around them as his hips settled between her legs. The need to let him closer was one she couldn’t deny, in spite of their location. She tucked her knees up, sucking in a breath as he pressed against her.
“You are mine Rhea.” His eyes were as dark as his voice. “Only mine.” His hips rocked into her, pressing his hard length slowly into her. “I will never put you in a position where another man can see what is mine.” He thrust quick and deep, joining their bodies completely.
“Mine.” The word was a low growl in her ear
as he pulled her tight against him, covering her body completely as he filled her.
Rhea clung to Hagen as the smooth glide of his body into hers pushed her over the edge of a precipice she’d never intended to climb, let alone leap from. But it happened anyway.
Loving Hagen. Needing him. Wanting him. It wasn’t what she wanted to happen but there was nothing she could do to stop it.
Christine was right. Hagen was meant to be hers.
And if it meant pulling him from the flames of hell she would do it. With one hand.
His mouth covered hers, as hot and demanding as the rest of his body. The world was spinning. Tilting on its axis. Rhea grabbed for something, anything to ground her. Her hands flattened against the grass at her side and her fingers dug in. The heat was immediate and intense, pulsing up into her palms. The result of a never ending supply of energy radiating from the constantly moving water beneath them.
She held fast as it coursed through her, feeding her in a way she didn’t understand, pushing her higher in a way she didn’t want to end. It was too much and not enough at the same time.
One of Hagen’s hands circled her wrist, pulling her arm over her head, followed by the other, breaking her contact with the earth and its strength. One large hand gripped her wrists, holding them against the grass while the other slid under the small of her back, angling her hips toward him.
She cried out as Hagen stroked deeper, harder, faster. Bringing her to the edge. Showing her where she should look for the strength she wanted.
Him.
But he didn’t push her off this edge. Hagen held her tightly, her body impaled on his, her name on his lips.
And he jumped with her.
19
“So you want them to get something on camera?” Magni raised an eyebrow at Hagen. “I feel like this is a bad idea.”
“It’s a shit idea.” Jerrik threw his magazine at the top of his desk and flopped against the back of his chair. “In hundreds of years only one of us has ever been caught on camera.” He held up his pointer finger and leaned toward Hagen and their uncle. “One.” He leaned back into his seat and crossed his arms. “And you see how that went.”
Magni shrugged his shoulders. “That’s why you don’t take women you want into the woods.” He turned to Hagen, the hard cut of his gaze making his meaning clear. “Nothing good comes of it.”
“That’s the fuckin’ truth.” Jerrik bounced his chair, slowly turning the seat from side to side. “They make you stupid.” He pointed at Hagen. “Like right now. A woman’s making you stupid.”
“This isn’t because of Rhea.” Not in the way they thought it was anyway. “We need this. The town needs this.” Hagen leaned his hands on the desk, knowing his reasons would be more likely to sway Jerrik than his uncle. “People like Dave need this.”
Hagen held his hand toward his brother, palm up. “This was your idea to start with for Christ’s sake. Why are you suddenly second guessing it?”
“I don’t think we should let them catch a good shot on film is all I’m saying.” Jerrik looked at Magni. “Help me out here.”
Hagen couldn’t let them both side together. He shook his head. “Nothing else will be enough for him. You know that as well as I do.” He fought the desperation trying to creep into his voice. “If Chauncey gets what he wants it will be all over the internet. Greenlea will be all over the internet. It will get us in front of people who didn’t know they wanted to come here and spend their money.” Hagen straightened and paused before hitting his uncle with a reason he might care about. “More people with more money means more opportunities for everyone. We could build up downtown. Make it like Gatlinburg. Shops that carry local goods. Jewelers. Bakers. Artists.” He resisted the urge to look at Magni. “Woodworkers.”
Hagen saw his uncle barely perk up out of the corner of his eye. Jerrik’s jaw shifted, a sure sign his brother was mulling over what he was saying. All he had to do was sell one of them on his plan. If Jerrik agreed, Magni would go along and vice versa.
But if he could convince them both, even better.
Because if Chauncey got what he wanted it would be good for everyone. Magni could build his business and Jerrik wanted Greenlea to succeed as much as Hagen did. The people around them who struggled to make ends meet would have more opportunities. The economic wasteland they all called home would shift. That was the plan all along. Building Greenlea up, creating this tourist destination based on their family’s secret heritage wasn’t just to take care of themselves. It was to help everyone.
Hagen just had to make his brother and uncle see this was the fastest way to make it happen. That the payoff was worth the risk.
Magni rubbed one hand across the bushy growth of hair covering his jaw line. “You got the guys ready to build?”
Hagen nodded. He held his breath, trying to keep his reaction in check, not wanting his uncle to get spooked. This was the opportunity they’d waited for. The chance to put Greenlea on a national radar. It was so close he could taste it.
And to think just a few weeks ago he’d been willing to throw it away to get Rhea out of town.
His stomach knotted at the thought. What if he’d succeeded? What if she’d left like he wanted?
“You alright?” Jerrik stared over a can of cola at him, one brow cocked. “You look pale all the sudden.”
Hagen waved him off and tried to put the thought of a life without Rhea out of his mind. “Fine. Just a lot to get done.” He turned to Magni. “You on board?”
Magni studied him, taking a long, slow breath. He gave Hagen a sharp nod.
It was the best he was getting from his uncle. Magni was a man of few words, most of them not fit for delicate ears. He kept to himself up in the mountain, preferring to be alone. Isolated from just about everyone.
That’s what a life of tragedy did to a man.
Hagen turned to Jerrik. “You?”
Jerrik huffed out an agitated breath. “I guess I have to be.” He turned his attention to their uncle. “You want to go out or you want me to?”
Hagen shook his head at his brother. “You have to come out with me. We need as many eyes on Chauncey and Lance as we can get.”
“Those two are trouble.” Jerrik shook his head. He nodded to Magni. “Be fucking careful out there. If anyone gets too close get the hell out of there.”
Magni snorted. “Only one in that group I’d run from.” He smacked Hagen on the shoulder as he turned to leave the station. “And that one’s your problem.” He didn’t look back as he left, the door jingling closed behind his large frame.
Jerrik rubbed his eyes and let out a groan. “This gives me a bad feeling.”
“It will be fine.” Hagen grabbed a soda from the small fridge in the corner of Jerrik’s office. “And the sooner we do it, the sooner we can get them out of here.”
The sooner he could pack Rhea up and bring her home. The sooner she would be at his side. The sooner he would have Rhea all to himself.
“I say we get it over with.” Hagen popped the tab on his can and sipped off the foamy top. “There’s no sense in waiting.”
“Fine.” Jerrik stood from his chair. “I’ll get ready.”
Tonight would be it. It would be the last time he had to tolerate Rhea running around the dark woods without him right beside her. It would be the last time he’d have to deal with Chauncey whining and the last time he’d have to out dick Lance.
Unless the taste he was willing to give them only made them want more.
It was a possibility Hagen hadn’t considered. If Chauncey got a glimpse of something on camera that could be explained as Bigfoot, would that be enough for him?
Or would the little pecker want to hang around and keep investigating? Driving him crazy and eating up all Rhea’s time making her follow him around hunting a creature she knew didn’t exist.
Not in the way people thought it did anyway.
Sharing the possibility with Jerrik would only escalate his brother�
��s hesitation so Hagen kept his mouth shut as he followed Jerrik out of the station and onto the quiet street.
“I guess it might not be like this long, huh?” Jerrik twisted his key in the door, locking the deadbolt as he looked down the short line of buildings. A low rumble of thunder from a mid-day storm echoed in the distance. “Kind of crazy to think that what we’ve been working for might be here before we know it.”
“That’s the plan.” Hagen nodded to the B&B. “I’ll go make sure everyone is getting ready. We’ll head out after the storm passes.”
“I’ll be there in a bit.” Jerrik fished out the keys to his rarely used cruiser. “I’ve got an errand to run and then I’ll get changed and head your way.”
“You still chasing that little girl in the mountains?” Hagen shook his head at his brother as he started across the street. “I’ve never seen it take you this long to close a deal with a woman.”
Jerrik’s jaw tightened. “There’s no fucking deal. She’s all alone up there. I just like to make sure she’s okay.”
Hagen paused, surprised at his brother’s reaction. Jerrik wasn’t usually sensitive about talk of his relations with the fairer sex. It was clearly a topic he should leave alone, but brotherhood required him to jab at the obvious sensitive spot. “That’s awfully considerate of you.”
Jerrik glared at him for a second, the thin vein running up his temple bulging. He stabbed one finger at the badge pinned to his chest. “It’s my fucking job to check on people.”
Hagen held his hands up. “Don’t be so sensitive then.” He grinned at Jerrik, happy that he was the one doing the aggravating this time. “Go do your job then so we can get this over with.”
His brother held up a middle finger as he walked away, heading down the street toward the small lot where he parked his cruiser.
Hagen was still grinning as he stepped into the bed and breakfast. The noise level in the building was unusually high, in both volume and pitch. His mother’s voice carried into the foyer, melodious and nonsensical. He leaned into the front sitting room.
Gail was on the floor, kneeling on a large quilt spread over the wood floor. Rhea was across from her, sitting cross legged with her back to him, laughing at the bizarre faces his mother was making at her.
Hagen Page 21
