by C. S. Moore
She’d awakened the day after Amanda vanished surprised to see strange men lining the Hovel, putting up a kind of perimeter around the entire institute. She, like many, had never known about the Guard. It was hard for a girl of her age to adjust to the fact that the life she’d known was over, but she knew it would forever be different. Nell sighed and started doodling on her notepad.
Frey continued his speech. “Brothers and sisters, I was there when she fled. I plead with her to stay, telling her the Ancients wouldn’t rest until she was safe. ‘Amanda,’ I said, ‘perhaps death isn’t the right way.’ We might yet find an answer, if only she would have stayed. I told her we all cared for her, and what does she do?”
Attack you. Yeah-yeah.
“Attacks us. She began a fierce battle using dark magic I’d never before seen, and then she just vanished! But not before murdering my good friend and mentor Danimir,” he said in a pained voice. “Amanda was cold, calculating, and deadly. She showed no mercy to him. The Ancients were right when they ordered death upon her. I only wish I had seen that sooner. Foolishly, I thought we could find another way, but she’s too far gone. I cannot be silent about the things I’ve witnessed. They have affected me too much and are still affecting me. My friend Carter is still missing,” he announced, choking up.
Frey looked down at the podium for a long moment, apparently fighting back tears. His golden ringlets and round face made him look like a suffering angel, but only to those who didn’t know him.
“He was so brave, and he is probably dead now. I’ll never question the Ancients again. It’s obvious to me now that they know of things we cannot grasp,” he said firmly. “So take comfort in them. They have only ever wanted what is best for you. That’s why the Guard is here with us. In every room that you tread, they will be there.” His voice sharpened a miniscule amount, making those questioning his speech and the Guards’ presence aware of the threat. “For your protection. Feel their love, and your troubled hearts and minds will be calmed.” He finished to some applause.
It looked to Nell like the Guard members were making note of who did and didn’t applaud. And she guessed she wasn’t the only one who noticed as the applause grew suspiciously louder.
Nell was one of the last to leave the dining hall, not wanting to take the long trek back to her room. She decided she’d procrastinated long enough when the room was emptied of all but the eerie Guard. She shuffled down one of the many hallways of the Hovel, careful to keep her eyes on the floor. She’d never seen her home so bare of Healers. The hallways were scarce of familiar faces and filled with ones she’d never met. Having the Guard members lined up around every corner, including the girl’s dormitories, was so unsettling to her.
She’d met Healers who were snobby, self-righteous, deluded, and sometimes downright rude. However, never Healers full of such darkness.
She took her eyes off the floor long enough to sneak a peek at the men lining the hall. Her eyes quickly glanced above her lashes, and she stopped dead in her tracks. All of the Guard members were looking at her. Not even one pair of eyes was otherwise occupied. She looked down the hall in front of her and then behind. She was the only Healer in sight. Nell was alone. Panic overwhelmed her, and she couldn’t explain why. She started again doubling her pace.
“Where do you think she’s off to in such a hurry?” one of the men asked loudly.
“I don’t know, but it seems awfully suspicious. Maybe you should question her, Chet,” a fellow Guard member laughed.
Nell kept her face down, not wanting to invite any more unwanted attention, but it didn’t help. A meaty hand clamped down on her shoulder and having not seen it coming, she screamed in surprise.
“Ha-ha, how do you like that? This one squeals!” Chet said to his comrades. Their deep chorus of laughter echoed strangely down the hall.
Nell spun away from his grasp and started walking again, hoping that he had had his fun and would leave her alone. He grabbed her by the wrist and spun her around, but she didn’t scream again, not wanting to show fear.
“You do not turn your back on your superiors. It’s rude.
Don’t you agree?” he asked, still holding onto her wrist.
“I do agree,” she said quickly, trying to dissolve the situation.
“There you go, pup. That’s how I like it.” He squeezed her wrist until her bones cried out. He obviously wasn’t done playing. So she tried a different approach. Maybe he’d leave her alone if she stood up for herself. That’s what people said about bullies, right?
“Luckily, there aren’t any superiors around. So I don’t need to worry about turning my back on one,” she said, attempting to free her hand.
Chet was silenced, but his friends started laughing at him.
“She told you!” one cried out.
“Wow, smart-mouthed by a little girl.”
Chet’s face was red with anger, and he pulled her nearer him. “Aw, she ain’t so little.”
“Stop!” Nell screamed as he pulled her hair tie out.
He combed his fingers through her long blonde strands. She struggled against him, but he was too strong. She couldn’t move an inch. He began to run his hands down to her hips when a voice rang out.
“Get your hands off of her!” one of the Guard members shouted while stepping out of his place in line.
Nell looked up, her wide eyes streaming salty tears, and saw that he was one of the younger members of the Guard, although he was taller than most of them. His face was smooth and void of any imperfection, making him look younger than he probably was. The overhead lights shone off his golden hair, and Nell imagined a halo around his head.
“What did you say?” Chet asked, letting go of Nell and turning to face him.
“You heard me. Leave her alone. She is no business of ours,” he said in a strong authoritative voice.
Chet took a step closer to the young man, squaring his shoulders. “Listen, blondie, I don’t take orders from anyone. If you’re going to try and start something here you better be able to back it up because, I’m not afraid of a fight, especially if that fight is with some little baby-face teenager who hasn’t even gone through puberty.” Chet took another step toward him. “You feel me?”
Nell’s hopes deflated as she saw the wind go out of her would-be rescuers sails. His shoulders dropped, and his face looked unsure, even frightened. “Yeah, yeah. I feel you,” he said quietly. “Sorry, man. Dang, I don’t know what I was thinking,” he apologized as a smile spread across Chet’s face. “Here, man, no hard feelings, okay?” He offered his hand.
Chet shrugged and took it. As soon as Chet’s meaty hand was in his, the stranger spun him around, pulling his hand between his shoulder blades elbow high in the air.
That can’t be comfortable. Nell thought happily.
The young man’s face was tight in anger as he kicked him in the back of the leg bringing him to his knees. He pulled Chet’s arm down further, throwing his shoulder out of its socket with a loud pop. Chet cried out in agony.
“How do you like being touched?” the angry stranger yelled.
Chet sobbed and the baby-faced boy threw him to the ground. “I don’t want to see you get up. You stay there!” he ordered. The fair-haired boy looked up to Nell, sky-blue eyes full of concern. “Are you all right?” he asked as he walked over to her.
Nell tried to speak, but was still so shaken she had to clear her throat multiple times before her voice sounded. “Yes, I’m fine,” she squeaked.
He looked at her for a second. “That didn’t sound very convincing. Here, let me walk you to your room. Is that okay?” he asked, making sure that she felt comfortable with him.
“Yes, that would be nice.”
He walked next to her down the hall, apparently oblivious to the angry glares that the other Guard members were giving him. She wished she could ignore their stares so easily, but it was so frightening to be surrounded by so many hateful faces. Nell looked up at the man walking next to her
and felt better. He had a grin on his face that was contagious.
“My name is Armaan, by the way. What’s yours?” he asked.
She thought it was funny he could ask such a normal question given what had just happened. “Um, Nell,” she replied.
“So is Um your first name then, or should I call you Nell?” he teased.
“Nell is preferred to Um, but given what you just did for me, you can call me anything and I wouldn’t care.”
“Okay, I’ll call you ‘Anything’ if you really want me to. So, Anything, how long have you been at the Hovel?”
She laughed at the way his mind worked. She’d never met anyone like him. Most Healers were so serious. “I’m coming up on my fifth year. How about you?” she asked through a laugh.
“I’ll tell you what, Anything, I’ve been here almost seven years, but it feels like one hundred.”
He tried to say it with the same lightness he’d said everything else, but she heard the torment in his voice. His smile was in place, but she could see that it wasn’t his real one. Before she could study him further, he looked away.
“I’m sorry if what you did back there gets you into some trouble,” she said quietly so the Guard around them couldn’t hear.
“Oh, it’s all right. I’ve wanted to bring Chet some pain for a while. Heck, I should even be thanking you.” He turned to her and put a hand delicately on her shoulder. “Thank you,” he said with wholehearted sincerity.
“Um, you’re welcome…” Nell said unsure of what else to say.
She didn’t know how to act around him. She’d only known him for ten minutes, and already it was hard to keep up. He was like the ocean, constantly changing. His eyes even looked like the ocean. They were a deep bluish grey and seemed to hide a million secrets below their surface. She’d been taking in his every detail as they walked and felt conflicted. He was kind and attentive to her, making her laugh and cautiously searching her for signs of shock but through all of his kindness, she could still see darkness within him. She stopped in front of her room, and the expression on his face changed.
“Can I tell you something, Nell?” he asked, looking at her pleadingly.
“Sure.”
Armaan leaned down to her and put his mouth next to her ear. “Be here, outside of your door at midnight if you want to leave this place,” he whispered.
What did he mean? Where else could she go?
He was gone before she could ask him any of the questions running through her mind.
AMANDA SAT ON THE GROUND wrapped tightly in Cole’s thick cloak. The temperature was dropping fast, so he built a fire. She’d never sat around a campfire before, and it gave her the oddest feeling. The bright fingers of the fire lit their small circle and a few feet beyond. The flames stretched out and cast an orange hue across everything they touched. Even Cole’s dark eyes had a tinge of the color to them. Where the fire’s light couldn’t quite reach was a sheet of utter darkness that her eyes couldn’t pierce no matter how hard she tried. Their ring, suspended in the flames glow, made her think of the pre-Columbus days. Like if she took one step from the bright sphere, she’d fall right off the end of the earth.
Madgie threw another log on the fire, and Amanda snapped out of the trance that the flames had danced her into. “Well, Cole might be better to tell you the specifics of the Guard. Since he has actually trained with them, like all boys do, but since I’m the oldest here by a long shot…” She waited sarcastically for an objection and then faked offense when none was given and continued. “The Guard is something that is very controversial among Healers, at least people who have a mind of their own. You see, those chosen to be members are no longer Healers in the traditional sense. I mean you can’t change what you are, but they no longer enter Scars.”
“Wait. You can’t just choose to no longer heal Scars. I know. I tried to run from them…” Amanda interrupted.
She stopped and took a breath. Amanda didn’t like talking about the time she’d spent away from the Hovel. Two years of hunger and thirst and pain and loneliness, but that’s to be expected when you’re thirteen-years-old alone on the streets.
“You can’t just choose to not go into a Scar. I never felt like I was a good Healer and spent a good chunk of my life trying not to go into them because I knew I’d let the spirit down. But no matter where I was or how hard I tried, they took me regardless.” Madgie’s face brightened. “That’s because we don’t choose them, they choose us.”
Amanda sat a little straighter. “Well, why would they choose me? I don’t even heal half of the Scars I enter!”
“Your spirit is bright, and it beckons to them. Even though you feel otherwise, it doesn’t change the truth. Did you know you’ve fallen into more Scars than any one Healer I’ve ever known?” Madgie gushed.
Amanda knew her sweet mentor meant what she said, but it only frustrated her more. Madgie must have read her emotions, because she went back to her speech.
“These Guard members are picked at a young age. All of the boys who are gathered in the dredging at the age of ten must train with the guard for two years. Those who show more interest move on to stricter combat training…” She paused and gestured to Cole. “I believe you went to the next level of training.”
“Yes.” He nodded.
Madgie looked like she wanted him to continue, but he wouldn’t oblige so she marched on. “Well, this group of boys train in combative spells at a new level, and they’re put into rankings. The higher ranking you are, the more you learn, but to be a member of the Guard, you cannot be slipping in and out of Scars all of the time. You are to do the bidding of the Ancients, so you need to be ready at all times.”
“But that’s impossible! It’s hard to even schedule classes at the Hovel because of it,” Amanda interrupted again.
Madgie held up her hand. “I know what you think you know. Just listen.”
Amanda sat back and nodded.
“The Ancients wanted to know if their Guard could have all the powers of the Healers with none of the obligations. Impossible, right? No. They figured they could have this by altering one simple fact. Scars are drawn to the bright light and spirit of Healers. Extinguish that light, and you have the Guard.” Amanda grew cold as Madgie continued.
“You might be wondering, ‘How do you take away a Healer’s light?’ The answer is simple. With darkness,” Madgie finished.
Amanda felt Cole’s body grow tense next to her. “But how is that possible?” she asked, turning to him.
Cole’s strong features were highlighted against the firelight, casting sinister shadows. His face looked hollow and angry, an empty shell of the person she knew. Amanda would have been frightened if that look were on anyone else’s face, but seeing it on his tore at her heart. She thought he looked like he was a million miles away, unaware the two ladies were even having a conversation, until she noticed the strange set of his mouth. He was biting down hard on his lower lip as the rest of his mouth seemed to fight against it.
Madgie sucked in a loud breath. “He’s trying to speak!” she shouted.
Amanda thought it just as Madgie said it because she could now feel the internal struggle Cole was fighting through. His spirit was lashing out against a dark blanket that wouldn’t lift itself from him. Cole’s face was red with effort, and a line of blood crept down his chin from the corner of his mouth.
“Stop!” Amanda shouted and grabbed his face when he didn’t listen. “You don’t need to fight it, Cole. I don’t know what you’re trying to say, but we can work it out later. You need to keep your strength.”
Cole nodded, and his face relaxed.
Madgie sighed in relief. “Wow, that’s some silencing hex you have on you, boy. I thought you would pass out. The Ancients do that to you?”
Cole didn’t, or couldn’t respond, which was answer enough. “So it’s true? All of the things we have heard over the years and dismissed as lies.”
Madgie looked to be on the verge of tears o
r ready to hit something, Amanda wasn’t sure which it was. “How could they do that to young boys?” Madgie whispered.
Amanda was still studying Cole, wondering what could have happened to him. When his haunted eyes met hers, she lurched forward and threw her arms around his neck, hoping if she held on tight enough nothing in the world could hurt him. He gently caressed the back of her head as she embraced him, nuzzling his face into her neck.
“Good heavens, I’m fine, Amanda,” he said with a smile. “If I’d known my… painful experiences would render this kind of affection, I would have told you years ago.”
Amanda released him and looked into his eyes. They were back to the bright happy things she knew. “Really?” she asked surprised.
“Obviously not, I can’t even…” He made a strange face again.
Talk about it now. That’s what he’s trying to say.
“Well, Madgie, let’s see what you know. It might help Amanda understand what we have coming,” Cole said.
“Okay, since you know nothing about the Guard, I guess I’ll begin at their creation, which was after Shiphra fled.”
A handful of questions almost left her mouth. Why then? How did it happen? What does Shiphra have to do with all of this? But she decided against it, letting Madgie go on uninterrupted.
“The other Ancients were horrified when they couldn’t find her. They devoted all their time to tracking her, but it’s hard to find someone as crafty as she is on a planet this size. So they rose up the Guard, so she would be forever hunted, always fleeing. They feared she’d rise up an army of her own if given the chance, so they made sure she was never in one spot long enough to do that.” Madgie shifted her weight as if trying to get comfortable on the hard ground. “Back then every male child was trained. I guess tortured would be a better word for it. They were subjected to black magic and shock treatments until the Ancients approved of them. Most of the Guard members have a light so dim it is hard to even tell that they’re Healers, which I guess is the point. Shiphra couldn’t see them coming, or so they thought.”
