by Amy Aislin
Yeah, okay. Christian stripped. Conversation could wait. He lost his towel and T-shirt as fast you could say Check, please!
Riley was on him in an instant and his hands were everywhere. Christian gasped at the feel of him and Riley took advantage of his open mouth to swoop right in. He’d obviously gone home to change after work because he tasted minty and he smelled spicy and his skin was extra soft under Christian’s hands. Riley turned them then walked Christian backward until he tumbled back onto the bed.
“You,” Riley said, climbing on top of him, “have some explaining to do.”
Christian groaned when Riley’s teeth clamped onto a nipple. “What?” More doing, less talking.
“How did an ad for our sale…” Riley nipped his chin. “…get into the newspaper?”
Christian blinked at him. “Ghosts?”
Riley’s snorted laugh made Christian smile. He kissed Christian again, softly this time, tongue invading Christian’s mouth and rubbing deliciously against his.
“Thank you,” he whispered, eyes sparkling.
“How’d it go?” Christian ran his hands up and down Riley’s strong back, reveling in the feel of him, his warmth.
Riley snorted again and nosed Christian’s T necklace out of the way to kiss his collarbone. “We ran out of bread an hour and a half before closing.”
“Oh.” Christian froze. “Shit, Riles, I’m sorry. I should’ve warned you so you had more inventory.”
“No.” Riley planted a quick kiss on Christian’s lips and ran his hand down Christian’s back to his ass. “Don’t apologize. It was awesome, actually. Tiring, but awesome. Like, fifty percent of the people who came in were new customers.”
“The power of advertising,” Christian said.
Grunting, Riley kissed one nipple, then the other. He licked and laved his way down Christian’s chest and stomach. “Now I’ll show you the power of Riley.”
Christian couldn’t help an amused laugh. “I think we need to have a discussion about whose jokes are lamer.”
Joking got pushed aside when Riley licked from Christian’s balls to the tip of his cock, then swallowed him with his mouth. The wet heat of Riley’s mouth had Christian sucking in a breath between his teeth. Riley pushed on his thighs, encouraging him to open up wider. Christian followed his direction. Setting a pillow behind his head, Christian shifted until he was propped up enough to watch what Riley was doing.
Stomach clenching at the sight of his dick going in and out of Riley’s mouth, Christian dug his toes into the bedcover. He was breathing hard enough to hyperventilate but fuck. Riley was making him crazy. And when Riley inserted a thumb into his hole, squeezed his shaft, tongued the slit at the top, and met Christian’s eyes with his own… Christian lost it, coming with a groan, arms flung over his head, hands fisted in his pillow.
He was still trying to draw breath when Riley crawled up his body, kissing everything in his path until he reached Christian’s lips. Christian tasted himself in Riley’s mouth. When Riley’s mouth left his, it trailed to his ear, where Riley whispered, “I’m gonna make you come again.”
The naughty words said in Riley’s sexed-out throaty voice had Christian’s softened dick twitching.
“Jesus,” he groaned. “If this is the thanks I get for placing an ad I should do that more often.”
Chuckling, Riley reached into the night table for the lube. Christian swatted at the hand Riley was using to hold himself up with and Riley fell on top of him with an “Oof!” Christian grunted at the sudden weight on his chest and buried both hands in Riley’s hair, bringing Riley’s face close to his.
Riley raised an inquiring eyebrow.
“Just wanted to feel you,” Christian explained. Their legs were tangled, groins pressed together, but he’d wanted every part of Riley touching him.
The corners of Riley’s eyes crinkled when he smiled at Christian like that, like he was amazed by him. Christian’s chest went tight at the look. It only served to solidify the decision he’d made earlier.
They stayed like that for a while, Riley on top, Christian pliant beneath him. Riley’s erection nudged his stomach but Riley didn’t speed things along, just stayed pressed against Christian, running his hands over Christian’s body like Christian was doing to him. Sharing lazy kisses and painless nips and gentle touches.
Christian’s heart fluttered and his breath stuttered at the feelings of hope and happiness stirring inside him. This. This was why a long-distance relationship would never work. He needed Riley’s gasps of pleasure, his warm eyes, his caresses, his ready smile, his passionate nature, his good humor. Every. Single. Day.
Lazy kisses eventually turned heated. Questing hands gripped and clung. Christian’s cock woke to half hard and when Riley lubed up a couple of fingers and slid them inside him, it went fully erect.
Christian was still slightly stretched from their languid morning sex so he didn’t need much prepping. Riley only did the bare minimum before slathering his cock in lube and pressing into Christian with an amazing amount of patience considering he hadn’t come yet. Riley’s length felt amazing, gliding along all of Christian’s nerve endings. Pleasure overcame Riley’s face, the flush creeping up his chest, his mouth dropping open. Riley’s whole body shuddered and when he opened his eyes, he met Christian’s with a sly smirk.
Fuck, the man was sexy. Sweat glistening his skin, pupils dilated, hands clenched on Christian’s thighs. Christian met Riley’s smile with one of his own and shimmied down a bit, impaling himself even further on Riley’s dick. Riley’s smirk disappeared and he grunted, squeezing his eyes closed. Then, like a switch flipped from take-it-easy to slap shot-fast, he started to pump. Christian met him thrust for thrust, ankles hooked together at the top of Riley’s ass as Riley knelt between Christian’s thighs. Christian’s position propped on the pillow gave him a good view of Riley’s wet cock ramming in and out of him. He groaned at how erotic it was to see them like that and let his head fall back. The only sound in the room was their grunts and the slap slap slap of flesh hitting flesh.
Riley leaned forward and braced a hand on Christian’s belly. The move had Riley’s dick hitting Christian’s prostate and his legs shook with the pleasure. Using his other hand, Riley jacked Christian’s dick.
Christian’s balls drew tight and he came groaning Riley’s name, heels digging into Riley’s ass. Come spurted on his stomach. Riley came in the next second, nails leaving imprints in Christian’s thighs, muscles straining. Christian unlocked his ankles from around Riley and let his feet drop to the bed. Riley rested a sweaty forehead on Christian’s upraised knee.
“Fuck, T,” he whispered, voice wretched.
Christian chuckled. “Yeah,” he said, sighing. “Yeah.”
Riley’s eyes met his and they grinned stupidly, lost in a post-orgasmic haze. Christian hissed when Riley pulled out gently and watched him cross the room to the bathroom to clean up.
Christian let his eyes close. He didn’t normally get sleepy after sex, but his irregular schedule the past two weeks coupled with a middle-of-the-night wakeup call this morning added to remnant jet lag had his eyes struggling to stay open.
Riley came back and cleaned him up before climbing onto the bed. After much shimmying and quiet giggles, they managed to get underneath the bedcovers. On their sides facing each other, Christian tucked his face in Riley’s neck and let his eyes close. Bliss. This was bliss.
“T?”
Christian meant to answer, but sleep overcame him instead.
Christian woke up all alone hours later. It was so familiar it felt like a backhand shot to the sternum, the force of it bruising his insides. Forcing himself not to panic, he turned the light on to look for a clue…a shirt Riley left behind, a forgotten sock, a text, a note. Hell, a fucking smoke signal.
Nothing. It was six in the goddamn morning, still pitch black out, and Riley was already gone.
The pain of that caused needle-sharp pinpricks of ice to rake his ches
t. A sob caught him by surprise and he pressed the heels of his palms to his eyes.
Riley didn’t want him. Nothing would take that pain away. Not after last night. Last night had been sweet and sensual yet deliciously hot and he’d thought… He’d thought it was Riley showing him how he felt about him. He thought it was Riley showing him that he was loved and wanted.
Instead it had been…Riley saying goodbye? Had Christian been right? Had the last two weeks been an extended one-night stand for Riley?
What was wrong with Christian that Riley had snuck out on him again without a word? What had he done that was so bad it made Riley not want to be with him? All Christian wanted was to move into Riley’s house—even if it was haunted—and love him and cherish him and take care of him and make a life together. Why did the person he wanted most in the world not want him back?
Christian flipped onto his stomach and buried his head in Riley’s side of the pillow, inhaling Riley’s spicy scent. The sheets on his side of the bed were still sort of warm. Had he just missed Riley sneaking out? The lost opportunity had him clutching his stomach.
His throat hurt so much from holding back tears that he gave in and let them fall, crying quietly into his pillow so he didn’t wake his mom.
Twice. Twice now his overwhelming hope had crushed him. Three times if he counted that summer he broke up with Riley, when he’d waited here so patiently for him to come home from school only to find out Riley was staying in Colorado for hockey camp. Was that why Riley had left? Maybe he, like Christian, was afraid of what a long-distance relationship would mean for them. But it wouldn’t be long-distance. Christian was staying. If only he’d told Riley that last night instead of letting Riley distract him with kisses and sex.
God, he was tired. So, so tired. Emotionally drained, physically exhausted.
His mom was driving him to the airport in a bit so he wiped his tears and took a quick shower. If the warm water mixed with the tears on his face, nobody had to know. Staring into the bathroom mirror afterward, he ignored the wet hair dripping onto his face, his red eyes, the splotchy skin, and instead focused on the T necklace around his neck. He curled a fist around it, hiding it from view. It was the most precious gift anyone had given him. He still didn’t know what the T stood for—might never know—but it was proof that, at some point, Riley had cared about him.
He was tempted to take it off. Put it back in its little box, rewrap it in that delicate red felt ribbon. The one that was knotted around a miniature Eiffel Tower Riley had given him after a trip to Paris with his parents in high school. Give the box to his mom and tell her to give it to Riley next time she saw him. Or he could mail it to Riley, either from here or from Vancouver.
But if this was the only piece of Riley he could have then he was keeping it.
After packing the last of his stuff—yesterday’s clothes, his toiletries—cleaning his room and taking his dirty towels to the laundry room, he did something so thoroughly pathetic it made him cringe even as he did it. He sat in the living room, on the couch that faced the window.
And waited.
But Riley never came.
He watched cars drive by, neighbors on their way to work. Joggers, dog walkers, kids on their way to the bus stop up the street, high schoolers on their way to school. Heard sirens in the distance, the sound of a fire truck’s horn.
A while later, with what could only be described as a sympathetic smile on her face, his mom sat next to him.
“We should go soon,” she said.
Christian checked the time on his watch. 7:30 am. His flight was in three hours and it was a half hour to the airport, more in morning rush hour traffic. They’d have to leave in the next fifteen minutes.
“Sure you don’t want to stay?” his mom asked. Christian knew by stay she meant move back. Which had been the plan until this morning.
“I don’t think he wants me to stay, Mom.” Moving home but not being with Riley? It would be too hard. That was the real reason he hadn’t moved back. The reason he’d never shared with Riley, even though Riley won that bet on Christmas Eve.
She bumped his shoulder gently with hers. “But I want you to stay.”
The simple words broke something in him, something that was loosely tied with Riley’s laughter and that delicate red ribbon Riley’d used to decorate his gift with. And to his utter embarrassment, he started to cry. In front of his mom. God.
She put her arms around him and even though he was so much bigger, he hid his tear-stained face in her neck and let the tears come. He was just so…sad. And as much as he didn’t want to admit it, lonely. Maybe he should move back. This was home and his mom was here. Granted, all of his friends were in BC, but that didn’t mean he wouldn’t make new ones here. Even if Riley didn’t want him as one.
Fed up with himself, he used his hoodie’s sleeves to wipe his eyes and let out a long breath. It was shaky and wet, but the second one was steadier and he kept breathing until he wasn’t so choked up anymore.
“Maybe you should go find him,” his mom suggested, rubbing his back. “See what he has to say?”
So Riley could reject him to his face? No, thank you.
“I’m going to take one last pass of my room,” he said. Not that he thought he’d left anything behind. He just needed to get away from her kind eyes for a minute.
In his room, he took the time this moment afforded him to pull himself together. To distract himself, he did a sweep of the bathroom for anything he’d missed. Then the dresser, the closet, the desk. He checked under the bed for the hell of it and—
A glint of metal caught his eye next to the leg closest to the window. He stood, walked around the foot of the bed and picked up the item.
Oh! It was his T necklace. The sight of it brought a lump to his throat but he swallowed past it, done with tears for the day. God, if he’d left this behind he—
Wait just a goddamn minute. He fished under the collar of his hoodie. As he suspected, his hand closed around his own necklace, the metal warm from his body heat. If he was wearing his, then who the hell did this belong to?
Was this…Riley’s? It was the only explanation he could think of. Riley said that he’d had Christian’s necklace custom made so it wasn’t like there were a lot of these little Ts floating around.
Numb, he sat on the edge of the bed. Was this the thing of sentimental value that Riley lost last week? The thing that had bummed him out for days and made him cry alone in the bathroom?
“Christian, are you ready to go?” his mom asked from his bedroom doorway. When he didn’t answer, she came in and sat next to him. “What’s that?”
Wordlessly he handed her the necklace.
“Oh, pretty. Is it yours?”
Christian shook his head. “Riley gave me my own. See?” He pulled it out from under his sweater.
His mom smiled and ran her thumb over the one in her hand. Flipping it over, she brought it closer to her face and squinted. “It says your name here,” she said.
Christian ripped the necklace out of her hands and brought it up to his own face. There, on the back of the T, where the horizontal line met the vertical one, was his name. Chest tingling, he brought his own necklace up to his face. Stamped onto the back: Riley.
Okay, what?
“I don’t even know what the T stands for,” he whispered past the disbelief restricting his breath.
“No?” His mom took Riley’s necklace out of his hands. “If I had to guess I would say trust. Maybe tender. Because that’s the way you are with him. But definitely trust. Riley has always been a happy person. Kind, genuine, helpful, outgoing. Lots of friends. But the only person he’s ever really trusted is you.”
Tender. Because that’s the way you are with him. It had never been a conscious thought for Christian to treat Riley that way. And there was really no reason for it. Riley was strong. He was tough. Had a good head on his shoulders. He was put together and totally capable of taking care of himself. But there was somethi
ng about his very nature that always made Christian feel soft and gentle toward him. Not that he treated Riley with kid gloves, that wasn’t it at all. Just that Riley deserved to be taken care of.
Fingering the necklace around his neck, sadness and hurt morphed into anger and doubt so fast it left his head spinning. The leather string on Riley’s necklace was frayed and shabby. Clearly it had been worn with much frequency for a long time. So Riley had, what? Been wearing this for years? And then just left this morning even though this necklace proved that somewhere inside of him there still existed a spot for Christian?
Oh, fuck this shit. No way was he letting Riley get away with hiding from his feelings. Not this time.
Grabbing Riley’s necklace out of his mom’s hand, he stood, said, “I’ll be right back,” took a few precious seconds to put on his boots and coat, and left the house.
The walk to Riley’s threw him back in time six years. To another morning where he’d woken up alone, thinking Riley had needed to leave to go see his parents or something. Christian had waited in bed, thinking of all the things he’d need to settle in Vancouver so he could move to Denver to be with Riley. Thinking that since it was early September, still the beginning of the school year, he was probably eligible for a partial refund from UBC if he withdrew from his courses as soon as possible. The money from the refund could fund his move to Denver, where he’d live with Riley and they’d make a home together just like they’d once talked about. Once Riley got drafted by the NHL—Christian had always known that he would be—then maybe he could go back to school in whatever city they ended up in and finish his degree.
He’d been so excited to start their new life together. One he’d finally admitted to himself he wanted desperately after his dad died. His sudden death had had Christian reevaluating his priorities, and sorry UBC, but Riley came first.
Christian had dozed in bed for a couple hours. When Riley didn’t come back, he got annoyed and texted him. And when that still didn’t yield any results he got dressed and took this exact same walk to Riley’s.
